Chapter 3
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: Unknown Illness
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I was rushed back to the emergency room and reunited with the doctor who juggled roles as professor, clinical instructor, and resident.
"...Huh?"
"...It's been a while, Professor."
"You remember me? Ah, this isn't the time. Your breathing looks fine... but you've got a serious fever."
"I was sleeping at my sister's place when my temperature spiked out of nowhere. It was bearable enough to tough it out, but since she just got discharged, she insisted we come to the ER... My head's pounding too, and it's hard to even get up."
"You did the right thing, especially with your heart history. Better safe than sorry. Let's run some tests. Your temp's at 38.8... I'll prescribe some IV fluids and antipyretics for now."
"Sorry to keep troubling you, Professor."
"Being sick isn't a crime. Still, patients like you students are way better than the ones who show up drunk after a crash."
"Doctor, my little brother's suddenly breaking out in sweat. Is he okay? Is it his heart again?"
"No, heart issues would come with respiratory failure or blood pressure changes. No signs of that. We'll check him out."
Lying on one side of the ER, a nurse came over to start an IV.
"...Huh?"
"...Is there a problem?"
"Uh... Weren't you here about two weeks ago? That's weird. Your veins were easy to spot then."
This was the same nurse who'd put in my IV last time I was carted to the hospital. Veins? Mine are super visible.
"...Huh?"
My vision was a bit blurry from the fever. Even accounting for that, the veins on my arm weren't showing up.
"...What's going on?"
"H-Hold on... Head nurse! Head nurse, quick!"
An older nurse hurried over, grabbed my arm, and started hunting for a vein.
"...Huh? What's wrong with these veins? In a 24-year-old guy? Can someone grab the gel and ultrasound?"
That's when it hit—my stomach twisted violently.
"Urk! Bleeegh!"
"Huh? What?"
"Patient! Are you okay?"
What the hell? It wasn't just blurry vision. Everything warped. Distorted? What is this shit? Suddenly, a flash exploded in front of my eyes, my sight flickering. What did I just puke up? Blood? Is that blood?
"Patient! Patient! Hey, you! Nurse Han! Get Nurse Han now!!!"
The head nurse's scream was the last thing I heard before blacking out.
It hurt. Every inch of my body ached—like after a full day of fieldwork plus overtime, but worse, even the next morning. My whole body throbbed. Why?
A parade of internists came by. They all stared at my test results with baffled expressions.
Unknown Illness
A mystery ailment modern medicine, with all its advances, couldn't explain.
It wasn't some chronic pain like CRPS. My symptoms shifted every hour, not day or week.
Sometimes excruciating pain wracked my whole body. Other times, I couldn't move at all. I'd take the pain over that.
When full-body paralysis hit, I couldn't even move my mouth. The terror was indescribable—like my body wasn't mine anymore, goosebumps all over.
Worse was not knowing when it'd strike again, or end. Or if it'd end at all. Everything unknown.
Fever spikes, or sudden drops in body temp.
Blood pressure shooting to 240, then crashing to 60.
Heart racing wildly, then stopping.
Just lying there, and suddenly a fracture.
Breath cuts off, then hyperventilation.
Ears fine on tests, but sudden deafness or ringing.
No bleeding sites detected, yet vomiting blood.
Finally, my fed-up parents took me to Seoul's top hospital.
But nothing changed.
Professors from every department paraded through. Curiosity gleamed in their eyes.
How fascinating—a patient with symptoms they'd never seen in decades of practice.
I wanted to live. Obviously. I didn't want to die.
Whenever the pain eased, I'd scour sites for what my illness could be.
But no answers.
Thump.
Ah. Full-body pain this time?
"Aaaah—! Kaaaaah!!!"
"...No! Ha-jin!!"
"Patient!! Step back, family!"
What the hell was wrong? They'd drawn blood hundreds of times, by feel. My arms were covered in bruises. X-rays? CT? MRI? Useless.
No diagnosis meant no cure—just symptom relief, palliative care on repeat.
Treat one symptom, another pops up. Pain worsens, narcotics on demand.
How much time passed? Meals? Symptoms made me puke everything, so IV nutrition. Sleep? No clue. Had I slept properly lately?
Sedated to sleep, but waking felt like clouds in my head—no real rest.
"Fentanyl! Fentanyl, now! Patient's BP is...!"
"Aaaah—!!"
The pain subsided a bit, and with my sister's help, I shuffled painfully to the bathroom.
Whoosh.
What? Is this me?
The mirror showed a stranger. Sunken cheeks. Hollow eyes. Not a spark of life—like a walking corpse.
Muscles I'd built diligently in the army? Gone. Skin and bones? Hair all fallen out. Bald in my twenties. Should I start calling myself a monk?
"Heh, heh heh."
Laughter leaked out. This look... yeah. Just like that monk before he died.
Instinct told me: no chance of survival.
Clack.
I gripped the prayer beads. Were they always this heavy?
Do you want to live?
A voice in my head. Want to live?
No. What's the point of clinging like this?
I accepted death. The monk's words echoed: no order to dying.
Paradoxically, facing death let me see around me. My sister had withered too, because of me.
"Sis..."
"...Feeling better?"
"How long since I collapsed?"
"Don't worry about it. Just focus on getting better."
"Insurance won't cover now, right? No diagnosis. You gotta live your life... Discharge me."
"What are you saying?"
"No filial son after prolonged illness. I won't be unfilial. Since when were we rich?"
"You..."
"And I'm sick of this hospital. The alcohol smell, the white walls. All of it. Just."
"Ha-jin, you're still young. Hang in there a bit longer. Things can turn around. Okay?"
"Let's stop. Sis."
"..."
Her face twisted. My vision had worsened, but I saw it crystal clear.
"Sniff..."
"Why cry? I'm the one dying."
"Don't say that!"
"...Get me a DNR form. Next time my heart stops, no CPR. Let me go. Didn't I crack three ribs last time? Right?"
"Sob, gulp, heave. Sniff..."
"...Sorry."
She sobbed for ages, then fled the room.
Clack.
Sitting here, I felt like the monk. What was he thinking?
Maybe his detachment came from zero hope.
Got it. This is the feeling.
Death creeping up.
"..."
Who knows. Isn't living happiness?
Will death bring peace? At least no pain—better than now?
Congrats, Unknown Illness. You win. A vicious bastard even modern medicine can't name.
"Heh heh..."
Laughter bubbled up. My situation, this mess—it was hilarious. Had to laugh.
"You win. So come on. Hurry up."
Cardiac arrests I'd endured countless times in memory. And the death awaiting.
"...Mom and Dad will come. Sign the DNR then discharge."
"...Yeah. Sis. Wanna go on a trip?"
"...Sounds good. We never did a family trip after your discharge."
"Where to? Anywhere you wanna go?"
"You pick."
Thump! Thump! Drop.
Ah, wait. This feeling...!
"Gulp...! Heave...!"
"Wh-What?!"
A crushing agony gripped my chest like someone wringing laundry. No, not now.
Wait, stop. Please!! I need to say goodbye to Mom and Dad first! Amid my sister's scream, a chilling mechanical beep.
-Beep-
My heart... stopped.
8th Floor ICU
No, you bastard Unknown Illness. Not now...!
"Sniff...!"
Is this the end? The all-too-familiar scene unfolded. Vision fading to white haze. Next? Consciousness gone. This time, I won't pull through.
Should've known it'd end like this. Shouldn't have called the ambulance that day. Just died there.
Sis, sorry.
Mom, Dad. I'm sorry.
"Epinephrine, now!! Ultrasound too!"
-Beep...
"One, two, three, four, five!"
-Beep...
"Charge to 200!! Clear! Rhythm?"
-Beep...
"None!"
-Beep...
"Switch hands!!"
-Beep...
"..."
Everyone knew. The heart wouldn't restart. They pounded my chest, pumped drugs—no response.
The doctors rotating CPR were drenched in sweat. But their hands never stopped.
The patient was too young. Months of suffering had ticked past his birthday—now 25. Freshly discharged, prime of life.
So what if it's Korea's best hospital? Die nameless, after endless torment?
Reality was cruel. No movement since it stopped.
"...How long on CPR?"
"...About 45 minutes."
"One, two, three, four!"
"...Stop, intern."
"Professor! He's too young!"
"Stop."
"No... No way... Get up!! Get up!!! Hey!!"
"...Final rites, then time of death."
"Aaaah—!"
"Family!"
Ha-yeon screamed and collapsed. The professor eyed the wall clock.
"...January 24th. 3:12 PM. Time of death."