With All That I Am

When I first started the game Pangenia and created the character Wilhelm, I seriously considered deleting him the moment I began.

"…This difficulty is insane. Should I just quit?"

The situation and condition Wilhelm woke up in were that catastrophically bad.

Inside a dark cave, he was suffering from Hunger, Weakness, and Dehydration—as if he hadn't eaten properly in days. Occasional rough starts happened when creating characters, but this was the first time I'd seen one so severe he couldn't even move his body.

And that wasn't all.

"The starting point is… Nabelung Forest? That's a hunting ground for level 9 at minimum."

There was no worse situation than this. Nabelung Forest was a place untouched by human hands—a high-level hunting ground crawling with every kind of monster imaginable. Only properly trained warriors of level 9 or higher could barely hunt there, and even then, the sheer variety of monsters and the endless variables meant almost no one ever came.

Survive here? Step outside the cave and he wouldn't last five minutes. He didn't even have a decent weapon. All he had was spite and grit.

"…At ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠least I know the geography of Nabelung Forest well. That's something."

The vast forest. Once you adapted, it was actually a pretty solid hunting ground. Good hunting grounds always meant fierce competition, and single-species monster zones got boring fast. Here, there was no competition—and you always had to stay sharp, so there was never a moment to rest. For me, that made it a rather decent hunting ground.

Should I really delete him?

The problem was that the character was level 1. It would almost be better to delete him and start fresh. No matter how I looked at it, it was a waste of time. Even if he somehow survived, hunting itself was impossible, and there was no telling how long it would take just to escape Nabelung Forest. No matter how godlike my control was, hunting monsters of level 9 and above with a level 1 character was simply impossible.

What to do? Delete him, or not?

I thought it over for a moment, then reached a conclusion.

"Hmm. It'll work out somehow."

I'd try first.

I crawled out of the cave on the ground and tore up the wild grasses growing nearby. Most of them were poisonous, but a few varieties were edible. I licked the dew from the leaves, picked up crawling insects and ate them, and devoted everything to recovering my body. Occasionally, when luck was on my side and I found a carcass left behind by a monster, I tore off even a single bite.

Three days like that. It took a full three days just to recover my body. Even that was something of a miracle. If the game had been locked in first-person perspective, it would have been impossible. But Pangenia allowed free perspective switching, and I played in third-person, calculating every movement of monsters that appeared in the distance before I moved.

Every monster that appeared in Nabelung Forest was the aggressive type that attacked first—nasty creatures—but their field of vision was narrow. If you learned their movement patterns to a certain degree, dodging them was at least possible.

"This is real hell difficulty…"

But even after recovering my body, the situation was still the worst. First of all, I couldn't leave the forest. I seriously considered sending aid with another character, but the zone this character was in was the territory of the King of Nabelung Forest—a Raid Boss monster that had never been conquered even once since Pangenia began. One wrong step and you'd die on the spot. I couldn't risk a hard-raised high-level character for the sake of this garbage character. Maybe if I could at least get out of this zone…

But no matter how carefully I moved, escaping without hunting a single monster was a difficult thing.

All I can do is swing a sword inside the cave.

And the only weapon I had was a crude wooden sword. Even this cave could be invaded by a monster at any moment.

And yet—why was it? This absolute worst-case scenario seemed to have stimulated my desire for a challenge instead.

Whoosh! Whoosh!

I swung the sword. Day after day, without stopping. I swung, and swung, and swung again.

…It was a full month later that I finally escaped Nabelung Forest.

That must have been why. Why I came to feel such attachment to this character—Wilhelm.

I grew greedy. I wanted to raise him properly. Into a knight more honorable than anyone, with an ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠unyielding will. Into a symbol of never giving up. Maybe because that was what I wanted to become myself.

His fundamentals were solid, so his growth was fast. And so he broke through trial after trial of absurd difficulty. By the time he was called the Knight King and had become the hope of countless people, another desire took hold of me.

The Great Expedition.

I wanted to kill the Demon King. Hunting the Demon King was the final goal of the game Pangenia. The moment you defeated him, the game ended and you could have your Wish granted.

To that end, I built up a knight order and traveled through every nation gathering soldiers. I poured every good piece of equipment from every character into them and armed them to the teeth. But at the final moment, a "bug" occurred, and Wilhelm died.

I was furious. I was angry. A Great Expedition that should have been perfect, failed because of a mere bug!

Was it actually that I wasn't good enough?

…I had been so sure of perfection. But from the moment I saw Wilhelm's sword—from the moment I faced the blade he swung with my own eyes—I began to think differently. That maybe, in truth, I had simply been lacking.

Because the Wilhelm who had begun climbing the Tower of the War God was different in every way from the character I had personally played.

I raised my sword in the darkness. Whoosh! I swung it. But it could not reach Wilhelm's sword.

Sword Mastery Level 32. I had manifested Sword Gang and even reached realms beyond it. But the Wilhelm I was watching now was unmistakably beyond that. A higher realm even than when I had played Wilhelm myself. Which meant this was a realm Wilhelm had achieved alone.

Here, in a darkness like a swamp where you couldn't see an inch ahead, Wilhelm had never stopped swinging his sword.

Whoosh!

The sound of a blade cutting through empty air. Heavy—heavier still. And yet infinitely smooth. Here, Wilhelm had forged a sword that was entirely his own.

Creation of Heaven and Earth.

A sword that opened heaven and earth and remade them. A sword that carried Wilhelm's wish to live freely in a new world. I too had prided myself on using it properly, but I had never grasped the true essence of Creation of Heaven and Earth. The Creation of Heaven and Earth he wielded was of a different caliber entirely from the one I had used.

Open the heavens.

Cheon—Heaven.

Open the upper dantian. Ordinary martial artists open and train the lower dantian at the navel, accumulating internal energy. The upper dantian in the head is the foundation of supernatural abilities; those who open it wield power like that of immortals, but suffer side effects such as drastically shortened lifespans. So the common wisdom is to refine the lower dantian first, then open the upper. But Wilhelm was different. His sword began by opening the heavens—the upper dantian—first.

Open the earth.

Ji—Earth.

The earth receives. It takes the energy of heaven into the lower dantian. And thus, one sees every principle of the world. Seeing, feeling, and at last taking a single step forward. When one advances into the world that way—

Open the world.

Gae—Opening.

Only then does one come to know the world. Wilhelm was communicating with the world through his sword. In a pitch-black darkness where no one listened and no one accepted him, it was the only way he could communicate.

But he still had not reached Byeok—Creation.

Open myself…

Even knowing the entirety of the world, there was nothing more difficult than knowing the one thing that was "myself."

Whoosh!

I swung my sword. Chasing after Wilhelm. Tracing his trajectory. Because I wanted to reach him. The way he had once wished for me. Before I knew it, I had begun wishing for him as well.

How much time passed like that?

No one was watching. Even after achieving results—even after setting foot in a realm no one else had ever reached! And still, Wilhelm simply kept going forward.

I was the same. But if there was one difference between Wilhelm and me—

I am rooting for you.

I truly rooted for Wilhelm. Watching him overcome adversity, I marveled and cheered. But when he reached the thirtieth floor and faced Randolph, Wilhelm's condition was the worst it had ever been. Just like when he had first fallen into Nabelung Forest. A situation without dreams or hope—the absolute worst.

But at least for that one month back then… hadn't Wilhelm and I shared the same heart? Hadn't that been the only moment when we became one and swung the sword together?

Hooooaah—

As I recalled the feelings of that time, the Golden Rule rose around ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠me. The golden threads of the Golden Rule that emerged from me began to connect with Wilhelm.

The moment I saw it, I knew what this was.

With all that I am—I will root for you, and you alone.

The threads shone even brighter. Proof that Wilhelm and I were connected. But it wasn't enough. Even after using them all, I still hadn't fully reached him. And I had already spent every last fragment of the Golden Rule.

Of course, that didn't mean there was no way.

I completed all the Main Quests I had been putting off in one go. Obtaining a class, climbing the Tower of the War God. But I hadn't expected "sealing the fissure in the Dark Space" to complete along with them. Had the system determined that this place I was standing in was the Dark Space?

It didn't matter either way. In fact, it was good. The Golden Rule fragments received from Main Quest completion scores—and every reward converted into Golden Rule fragments—I used them all to cheer for Wilhelm. To convey my true feelings to him.

…The wounds healed. Curses that should never have been cured—even those inflicted by two Chief Gods—were erased by a blessing beyond imagination. It was on a completely different level from all the cheers he had ever received from countless people.

Shhhhhhk—

His weapons, armor, helm—every piece of equipment he had worn in life—materialized. Himself at his prime. Every ounce of his martial power restored, finally able to swing freely. The form he had taken just before facing the Demon King.

"…"

And yet Wilhelm simply stood there, watching it all unfold. Even after reclaiming everything, there was no particular joy on his face.

"…How absurd. So the reason you pulled me back out of the Gate… was you?"

He merely turned his gaze, slowly, and looked at his opponent.

Randolph, the Eternal God. But what should have been an empty shell had become something entirely different. Another Randolph—the one who had been offered up to the Gate of Truth and vanished. The one who had single-handedly slaughtered the masters of the Abyss and the Primal beings on God's Island. That monster once called Ruin was looking down at Wilhelm with open contempt.