No Way! I'm Not Taking a Bath!
My Butler vanished.
She disappeared in that brief moment when I'd locked eyes with a cat on the street.
We'd been holding hands the whole time, and I could still feel the warmth of the Butler's palm—and yet.
When I came to my senses, all I saw was a sea of humans, each one glancing at me as they streamed past.
"Unnie…? Where did you go?"
I scanned my surroundings, edging forward one careful step at a time.
No matter how many times I called for my Butler, no answer came back.
"Uh… uuuh… where… where did she go…?"
I stared for a moment at my suddenly empty palm.
-Bump!
"Ah…!"
I knocked into a passing human, wobbled, and fell flat on my rear.
"Owwie…"
"Nyaahh…"
The cat I'd just met came padding over to me as I sat there sniffling.
"My Butler… she's gone. Do you know where she went?"
"Nyaa?"
My mind went white at the sudden hole my Butler had left, but only one thought filled it: I had to find her.
"She has bright yellow hair… uh… bangs, and… and… her chest is big! Andoo… she's wearing a white shirt and a black skirt. Can you help me look for her…?"
The cat listened to my description, gave a solemn nod, then hurried off.
Could that cat really find my Butler for me?
I hoped so. I hoped so very much.
"For now… I guess I'll sit and wait…"
There were so many humans, and without my Butler I felt anxious. A little scared, even.
Unfortunately, there wasn't a single spot to sit anywhere in this vast place, so I slipped into a narrow alleyway and plopped down where I could just barely fit.
"Butler… where did you go…"
Where could she have gone, just for a moment? And if she really had something to do, why didn't she say anything before leaving?
The anxiety crept up on me, little by little.
What if she hadn't just stepped away for a moment? What if she'd left me here on purpose?
"N-no… she wouldn't. My Butler isn't like that. She's different from my old one…"
It had only been a short while, but the attention she'd given me was beyond anything my previous owner had ever offered.
When I misbehaved, she understood. She explained why I shouldn't do things. She praised me for the tiniest little things.
That was my Butler.
There was no way she'd abandoned me, not the way my previous owner did.
"Uuu… come back soon, Butler…"
Just as I buried my face in the doll I was hugging tight—
"Ugh…! Cough… cough cough…!"
A foul stench drifted over from somewhere nearby.
I turned my head toward it and saw several humans with something clamped between their lips, exhaling clouds of gray smoke.
That smoke was what reeked so terribly.
"Weird smell…"
"Hm?"
"Eek…!"
The instant my eyes met one of theirs, my body moved on its own and I bolted out of the alley.
Which meant I'd lost my hiding spot, and I was back out on the street with its endless stream of walking humans.
"Uuu… why… why is everyone staring at me…"
Humans so much bigger than me kept stealing glances at me, or stopped right where they were to gawk openly, and the pressure of it all made my fear swell even deeper.
"Uuuuu… B-Butler…"
The thudding of footsteps on every side slowly made me dizzy. My vision spun, I wobbled—and then a few humans tilted their heads and began drifting closer.
"Aww…?"
"Whoa, so cute. Hi there."
"Uu… uuu…"
They approached with something like my Butler's warmth, but something about them was different.
Instinct made me stumble backward, but my back hit the wall, and there was nowhere left to retreat.
"Hey, the kid's scared of you."
"What nonsense. Hi~ I'm just saying hi because you're cute. Did you lose your mommy?"
"Uuu… th-that's, um…"
"Your ears and tail are adorable. You must really like cats, huh?"
"Uuuuh…"
"Can I pet them?"
"N-no… you can't…"
By the time one of them reached a hand toward my ear, my little protest was far too quiet for them to hear.
I squeezed my eyes shut, hugging my doll with everything I had.
Because I was so, so scared.
Because somewhere in my heart, I truly believed I might be abandoned all over again.
Had teasing me been the problem after all? Or had it been making too much noise around so many humans?
"Don't… don't wanna… I hate it…"
The fear crashed over me, and the tears came pouring down.
The terror of learning I'd been abandoned once before had already wrapped itself around my throat.
"B-Butler… please… come back…"
Curled into the smallest ball I could make, I waited for nothing but the sound of my Butler's voice.
"Chuchu!"
"Huh?!"
Her voice rang out from far away, and I whipped my head toward it.
There she was, in the distance, sprinting toward me alongside the very cat I'd described to her.
"Hic… huuu…! B-Butler!!! "
Everything relaxed at once. And the tears burst out like a fountain.
When I learned that my Butler hadn't abandoned me—that she'd simply been distracted by something for a moment—I finally felt like I'd stepped back into familiar ground.
"Chuchu!"
"Huaaaah! Where… where did you goo! Why did you leave me behind! Whyyyy!"
"I'm sorry, Chuchu. I'm so sorry. I got distracted for just a second."
"Hic! It was scawwy… you suddenly… d-disappeared…"
"I know. I'm so sorry. I promise it'll never happen again."
I dropped even the doll I'd been clutching and threw myself into my Butler's arms.
She kept murmuring apologies as she patted my back, and though her touch was still so new, it had already become something achingly familiar.
"Hic… you're mean! Why did you leave meeee!"
"I'm sorry. Truly, I'm sorry, Chuchu."
"Do you know how scared I was! Humans were breathing out this weird smoke and it stank… and they tried to touch my ears!"
"Who did! Who tried to touch my Chuchu's ears!"
"Those humans over there… huu…"
When I pointed through my tears at the ones who'd tried to pet my ears, my Butler pulled me in tighter and fixed them with a fierce glare.
"Why are you trying to grab someone else's child without permission?"
"W-well… we were just…"
"W-we're sorry!"
All their earlier swagger gone, the humans ducked their heads and fled without a single backward glance.
"Chuchu, I gave all the bad people a good scolding for you."
"Don't ever do that again… it was scawwy!"
"I won't. Never again."
"Nyaaah."
The cat who'd brought my Butler here padded close and rubbed its face back and forth against my leg.
"I think this little one called out to me. Like it wanted to tell me where you were."
"I… I told the cat what my Butler looked like…"
"You did? You must have been terrified, but you stayed so calm and handled everything. I'm so proud of you, my Chuchu."
"Really don't do it again… I thought I'd been abandoned for real… huuc…"
"Why would I ever abandon you? A cat this cute, this pretty, this good?"
"You'll really keep me by your side forever…?"
"Of course I will. I promise."
My Butler nodded and held out her hand—her pinky finger, extended all on its own.
It seemed like the pinky alone was supposed to mean something, but with my head, I simply couldn't figure out what.
"What's this?"
"It's how you make a promise."
"A pwomise?"
"Mm-hm. It means I'll keep my word, all the way to the end. You just hook your pinky right here, Chuchu."
I hooked my own pinky around hers, and my Butler shook our hands up and down a few times.
"I'll never let anything like this happen again."
"'Kay… I understand."
Only after hearing those words did the feelings that had erupted all at once finally begin to settle.
*
On the way home after putting out the great emergency, Chuchu rode on my back, fast asleep.
After everything she'd been through today, it was only natural she'd be worn out.
"Mmmnyaa… Butler…"
"Sleep well, my baby."
Watching her, I let out a long sigh of relief.
Losing focus for even one moment and letting go of Chuchu's hand—that was a disqualification from being a proper Butler, plain and simple.
Thinking about how anxious she must have been waiting for me, how terrified, made my chest throb like something inside it had gone haywire.
She acted as if her previous owner didn't bother her in the least, yet the fact that she wouldn't take off that choker made it obvious the opposite was true.
And then Chuchu had said it herself.
That she'd thought she was being abandoned again.
Being abandoned, in and of itself, terrified her.
"Haa… how on earth do I soothe that kind of wound?"
On the surface she'd bounce back to her usual self, but I knew that old, buried emotion had been dredged up again.
And burying it would take far longer this time.
"I just have to show her she'll never need to feel that fear again."
Becoming a better Butler.
For Chuchu's sake, that was the only thing I could do.
No coasting on "it's my first time raising a cat"—I had to reflect on today, and be there at her side as her Butler, properly.
"Chuchu, I'm going to be an even better Butler from now on."
By the time we got home, Chuchu had woken up and was zipping around the apartment full of energy.
"There you are, Chuchu."
"Nyanyanyah! I'm gonna catch it this time!"
All I did was wave her toy back and forth, and Chuchu—superhuman or not—darted around just as fast as any four-legged cat.
"Whoosh! Missed me."
"Grr! Again!"
"Okay, one more. Do your best this time."
When I swung the bell-ringing jingle toy toward the other side of the room, she leapt once off the floor, pushed off the sofa's armrest, and launched herself high into the air.
"Uh oh… Chuchu? If you jump that high…"
She'd soared straight past the toy.
-THWACK!
"Ugeeeek!"
She faceplanted squarely into the window.
"Chuchu! Are you okay? Your nose—you're not bleeding, are you?"
"O-owwie… I didn't know this body could jump so high…"
"You're still not used to your human body, huh."
A body this much bigger meant that moving like a cat came with plenty of hazards.
"Good news, no blood. Just a red nose."
"It hurts, Butler…"
"Aigoo, you have to jump more carefully."
"Uuuu…"
Just like that morning, I blew gently on her nose and gave it a few little taps, and she burrowed into my arms as though she'd already forgotten all about the injury.
"I like you, Butler."
"Mm, I like you too, Chuchu."
"But do you like it better when I call you Unnie?"
"I like both, but yeah, Unnie does make me a little happier. Wait—how did you know that?"
"Because when you called me Unnie outside, the Butler's mouth stretched up so wide it almost split open."
And with that, she grabbed the corners of my mouth in both hands and stretched them long and wide, making me look like an absolute idiot.
I made a face like that? All because she called me Unnie once?
"Don't lie. I did not make a face like that."
"You did too. Exactly like this. This body remembers!"
"Hm. No dinner for you tonight."
"Noooo! I'm sorry!"
I spun around and headed for the kitchen, and she came scrambling after me at incredible speed.
While she wasn't looking, I snipped the tip off a Churu from the drawer and popped it straight into her mouth.
"Chuuuum… chuuuum!"
"Tasty?"
"Mmm!"
"Dinner's coming soon, you know."
"Snacks before dinner are fine. Chuuuuuuum!"
While she was busy with her Churu, I caught a weird smell and gave her a sniff.
She'd been out and about all day, and she'd been breathing in cigarette smoke the whole time I'd gone missing—there was no way she smelled good.
"Chuchu, I think we need to give you a bath tonight?"
"…Nyaa?!"
She'd been peacefully nibbling her treat, but at that one terrible word she flinched and froze solid. Then she dropped the Churu and bolted.
"Ba… baths are… my decision…"
Even after I'd managed to bathe her once, apparently it still didn't sit well with her.
"Then let's bathe together, Chuchu."
"Still… I don't wanna today…"
Normally I'd suggest putting it off until next time, but with her smelling like that, I couldn't just let it go.
"Ooh, Chuchu, look—something fun over there!"
"Something fun?!"
The moment her head whipped toward my pointing finger, I darted over in one bound, wrapped my arms around her waist, and scooped her up.
"Eeeek!"
"It'll be even more fun if we wash together, Chuchu."
"NO! I'm not taking a bath!"
So this is what it was going to be like, every single bath time from now on.
I'd expected as much, but being a Butler really is a hard, hard job.