My Poop Just Ruined My Perfect Future!
While she slept beside me, Chuchu naturally turned her body toward mine and curled up. She even made those little smacking sounds as if she couldn’t resist sticking close.
I thought about how much she must have missed human warmth after being abandoned by people. And I promised myself that once she was here, I’d raise her into the best cat anyone could envy.
But then.
—Bang bang! Crash!
Three o’clock in the morning.
A crash that was almost deafening came from the living room. My eyes shot open on instinct.
“Meeooowaaaang! Uhehihehi! It’s time for this body to show its true power!”
She even shouted loudly, muttering to herself, and fury surged all the way to the tips of my ears.
—Bang!
“Chuchu! Won’t you be quiet?!”
Finally, I flung open the door that had been slightly ajar and screamed at the top of my lungs.
“Huik! Yerin, you startled me!”
“What time is it right now?”
“What time?”
Ah, I don’t even know how to tell time.
“Chuchu, it’s the middle of the night. People sleep at night.”
“What does that have to do with this body?”
Hold it together. I have to hold it together. She’s just a cat. These are just pure questions.
“Chuchu, if I get a good night’s sleep and am well-rested, I can raise you properly, right?”
“Mm, that’s true.”
“So be quiet during the night. Got it?”
“Yeah. I got it.”
Chuchu quickly understood once I explained that everything important to me was about what I was raising her for.
“Come inside and sleep.”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Lie down and close your eyes. Sleep will come. Hurry in.”
“I don’t wanna sleep.”
When we fell asleep together, it was at midnight. We had only slept for about two hours before she woke up. Even that was enough to make her this lively.
She was still young and full of energy, wasn’t she?
Maybe that was why I was starting to understand why raising pets was called “raising a child.”
“Here, Churu. I’ll give you Churu, so eat and sleep. Okay?”
“Oooong! Yeah, I got it!”
While I held her hand and led her to the bedroom, Chuchu’s tail whipped around like a propeller.
“Pff! You’re going to fly to the sky, Chuchu.”
“Mewwwwup! Churu tastes amazing no matter when I eat it.”
Before I wiped Chuchu’s mouth with a towel after we got inside the room, I waited until she finished the Churu.
“Yerin. Chuuuuwup!”
“Yeah, Chuchu.”
“You’re really a good butler.”
She couldn’t take her eyes off the Churu, but she still complimented me. That was how sincere she was, wasn’t it?
“So cute. It’s definitely a cat.”
“I’m done eating.”
“Chuchu, I’ll tell you one thing. Put your poop in the trash can over there.”
“Yeah, I got it.”
Because she had eaten the Churu, she was strangely obedient compared to earlier.
Her tail still swished as she dumped the Churu trash and walked over with a proud face.
Since she seemed to want praise, I stroked her head, and her eyes sparkled.
“Ugh…!”
“Why? Yerin.”
“Ah, it’s nothing…”
I couldn’t afford to be careless.
One slip and I might die from a heart attack.
“Good job. Now wipe your mouth and go to sleep.”
“Yeah!”
After wiping her mouth, I lay down first. Chuchu lay down in the same position, looking at me.
“Sleep well, Chuchu.”
“You too, Yerin.”
How long had passed after I closed my eyes?
“Uuuuum…”
Chuchu stirred and burrowed into my arms. She wrapped her waist with both arms, and I naturally pulled her close, the warmth rising with her.
She was soft and warm, just like a cat.
*
Before I fell asleep, I had planned to teach Chuchu how to live as a human.
Of course, she would hate being a cat, but right now, as long as she looked like a person, it was fine.
“Uuum… Chuchu? You’re up already?”
The warm softness in my arms disappeared. I opened my eyes and saw it was eight in the morning.
Today I had to work starting at ten, so training… wait, training a person? Still, she was a cat, after all.
Anyway, I’d train her and educate her.
“Chuchu, are you in the living room?”
When I opened the bedroom door and stepped into the living room.
—Squelch!
Some unknown liquid had stuck to my sole, and it was surprisingly warm.
“Hmm, what is this?”
I thought she had spilled the water she was drinking, but the liquid soaking the floor wasn’t clear. It was yellow.
“Chuchu.”
“Why, Yerin?”
“What do you think this is that I stepped on? I thought to myself, I hope it’s not this.”
The scent of that yellow liquid was strong.
The color, the smell, the warmth.
Was it really…?
“Consider yourself lucky. Stepping on this body’s pee means today will be a lucky day!”
Pee. Of course. This was poop.
“Chuchu.”
“You like it? Well, since you stepped on this body’s pee, you must be happy enough to shake!”
Chuchu stood there with a triumphant air. I walked over slowly.
Because I had stepped in the real thing, every time my sole touched the floor it was wet and warm.
“Hah, the thanks is enough. Because the butler is giving this body delicious food! Still, if you want to express gratitude, how about tuna belly canned food…”
“You… damn cat!!!”
The moment I saw that condescending smile, my reason snapped. My right hand shot up and swung through the air.
And then.
—Smack!
“Kyaaaaaaaah!”
My palm, full of power, slammed into Chuchu’s back.
“W-what are you doing, Yerin! Are you crazy?! How dare you hit this body!”
“You crazy cat! What do you do when you poop in a place like this!”
“Aaaah! Don’t hit! It hurts!”
While the sudden rage was still in my palm, Chuchu desperately ran into the empty room.
“Ah, seriously! What am I supposed to do with this! A grown-up cat can’t even hide its poop!”
Imagining what I would do to clean it up made my anger flare again. Just then, Chuchu peeked her head out from the door crack.
“Mee… Yerin… please don’t hit… it hurts…”
The moment I saw her teary face, my breath caught for a second and reason returned.
Chuchu was a beastkin now, so she looked human. She was only two cat years old—a kitten.
It was only natural for a baby cat not to know how to hide her poop in her new home.
And most importantly, I had hit her.
Even though I wouldn’t have reacted badly if someone stared harshly at a stray cat, I had hit her with all my strength.
“… Chuchu, can you come over here for a second?”
“Uh, yeah…?”
“I won’t hit you.”
With one knee on the floor, I smiled and waved. Chuchu approached carefully, face still tense.
When I was close enough to touch her, I pulled her into my arms, wrapping her in a hug.
“I’m sorry, Chuchu. I’m really sorry.”
“Yerin…”
“I won’t do it again. I’ll scold you nicely even if you do something wrong, and I won’t yell. I’m really sorry.”
“Uuuung…”
“Did it hurt a lot?”
I pulled her out of my arms and wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes.
Imagining the pain she must have felt, my chest felt like it was being pricked by countless needles.
I really was a bad person.
Even though I loved cats so much, I hit one just because she looked like a person.
“I… me too… mee… I pooped…”
“No. Chuchu didn’t do anything wrong. You’re just a baby who doesn’t know anything yet.”
I took Chuchu’s hand, sat her on the sofa, and took a can of tuna from the shelf, putting it on a plate.
This was obviously food for Chuchu, and from now on I would teach her how to act like a person, one step at a time.
“Chuchu, this is a spoon.”
“Spoon. I saw one before. The one my old butler used.”
“Yeah, right? Scoop it up like this and put it in your mouth. Want to try?”
“But why do I have to do this?”
“Chuchu, you’re a cat, but right now you’re in human form. So I’m teaching you how to act like a person.”
Unlike yesterday, Chuchu understood instantly and clumsily picked up the spoon to scoop tuna.
When I explained the full reason, she followed perfectly.
From now on, instead of raising my voice when she misbehaved, I would explain how to do it right.
“Like this?”
“Yeah, really well! You eat it like that. It won’t get on your face that way, right?”
“Because I’m human, I can’t lick my nose with my tongue.”
“Exactly. Acting like a person will be much easier for you now.”
Chuchu was also feeling the discomfort of her new body structure. Once I explained, she nodded right away, like she understood.
“Now, can we try drinking water? You don’t like getting water on your face, right?”
“Uung, I don’t.”
“So, just like I showed you yesterday, you have to drink from a cup.”
“But yesterday I spilled it all over my face.”
“That was because you used the cup wrong.”
I showed her first how to use the cup of water, then gave it to her.
She stared at the cup for a moment, then drank exactly like I had—without spilling a drop.
“I didn’t spill!”
“Yeah, really well. From now on, drink water like that. Got it?”
“Yeah, Yerin. I got it!”
“Now, I’ll teach you how to use the bathroom.”
I held Chuchu’s hand and led her to the bathroom.
Maybe learning how to use the bathroom would be the hardest part.
“This is a toilet.”
“Yeah, toilet.”
“You sit on it like this? You have to poop and pee. So sit on it and do your business.”
After showing her how to sit on the toilet, I gestured for her to do it herself. Chuchu jumped up and plopped down on the seat.
Of course, sitting on the hard toilet like that.
“Kyaaaaah! My butt… it hurts!”
My butt hurt, of course.
“Pffhuh! Chuchu, don’t sit like that. Just sit lightly.”
“Like this?”
“Yeah, like that.”
“Yerin, I have to poop.”
“Ah, then…”
Just as I was about to say she had to pull down her panties, Chuchu gave a cool expression, shivered, and made a “Hieeee” sound.
“… Did you poop?”
“I’m pooping.”
“But… you didn’t poop a minute ago?”
“I had to poop again.”
“Chuchu, when you sit on the toilet, you have to pull your panties down.”
Chuchu tilted her head, pulled her shirt up, and blinked her eyes like she had just realized.
“Panties? Ah, this one.”
“Yeah, the ones you’re wearing now.”
“They’re yellow.”
“Pff! Chuchu pooped.”
“It’s wet.”
“Doesn’t that feel gross? That’s why you have to pull your panties down.”
I explained that you should pull your panties down before sitting on the toilet, then poop, then pull them back up.
While watching Chuchu, one question popped into my head.
“By the way, Chuchu, how did you get the clothes you’re wearing and the panties?”
“I don’t know. When I turned human, that’s what happened.”
“Oh, I see.”
Chuchu sat on the toilet and stared up at me blankly, then swished her tail and confidently put both hands on her hips.
“Now I know how to poop too!”
“Pffhuh! Our Chuchu is amazing. What a smart cat.”
“Uuum! Of course! This body is different from other cats!”
Even though I was shouting at such a cute cat and hitting her back.
Honestly, even thinking about it now, it was an extremely unhuman act.
Anyway, my heart was hurting so much.
Will my heart survive while I raise this cat?