It's Not That I Don't Want to Wash—It's for the Environment

"Butler. Butlerrr!"

The voice drifted in through my sleep, and for a moment I wondered if I was still dreaming. Chu-chu had never once woken up before I did. But it wasn't long before my body started to shake, and her voice came through sharp and clear.

"Butlerrr!"

"Mmm... Chu-chu?"

"Butler's awake!"

"What's going on? You got up before me?"

"Today's the day we play with Daeun-unnie!"

She had woken at the crack of dawn, practically vibrating at the thought of the three of us playing a board game together.

"Pfft! You're that excited?"

"Yeah! Playing all together is fun!"

"Aigoo, you like it that much? My baby is so worked up."

"Ehehe."

I squeezed her tight as a body pillow, and she never once complained that it was stuffy—just wagged her tail in soft little sweeps. From the very start of the morning she was pouring out enough cuteness to burst my heart. I truly never imagined a day would come when I could wake up like this. In this moment, I wouldn't have traded places with the chairman of some major conglomerate greeting his own morning.

"Mmmmm! My baby is too cute."

"Butler, when is it evening?"

"Evening will get here while my baby is busy playing hard."

"I hope evening comes fast!"

A moment later Chu-chu wrapped both arms around my waist, just the way I held her, and squeezed with all her might. Her tail thumped the bed, and the bright, helpless sound of her giggling filled the room. Where else could a morning be this perfect?

"Thanks to you, I'm wide awake. Thank you, Chu-chu."

"Mm-hm!"

"Let's have breakfast."

"What's for breakfast today?"

"Today's breakfast is... salmon cubes!"

"Salmon! I love it!"

I took out Chu-chu's special bowl, tore open two packs of salmon cubes, and filled it. An ordinary cat would have been perfectly full on that much, but our Chu-chu was a very special cat, and if that was all she ate she would be demanding snacks before long. Since I had decided to cut back on treats, it only made sense to make each meal a little more filling. So I added two slices of bread, toasted crisp in the toaster.

Toast and salmon cubes. It was an utterly unfamiliar pairing, with nothing you could call a proper combination—and yet, ever since she had discovered the taste of bread, Chu-chu had come to love having exactly that for breakfast.

"Thanks for the meeeal!"

"My baby even says thank you for the meal so well now."

"Ehehe! Nyam! Nom nom."

Watching her eat with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that much joy for a good long while, and only then starting my own meal, had become a kind of routine.

"What are you eating, Butler?"

"Salad and toast."

"Ugh... is that pile of weeds actually good?"

"Yeah, it's good. Now that I think about it, you really don't like vegetables, do you?"

"Nope! I hate them!"

Right in front of the butler who was more serious than anyone about looking after her health, she declared her hatred with perfect confidence.

"Then from now on, let's eat vegetables too."

"Aaaah!"

"Ehh? And where is this tantrum coming from?"

"Don't wanna! Hate weeds!"

She even drummed her feet under the table, making her revulsion for vegetables perfectly clear. In cat years she was two. In human years, about twenty-four. I was just about to decide she truly did not act her age.

"Not veggies... I wanna eat something else."

She set her chin on the table and blinked those sparkling, pleading eyes without a moment's rest.

"You... have to eat vegetables, Chu-chu. That's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠how you stay healthy."

"Something else... mm?"

How does this wicked little cat even know how to do the pleading-eyes trick?

"Not veggiiies..."

For the sake of her health, of course she ought to eat her vegetables too. But.

"Aigoo, fine. I won't make you eat vegetables."

"Nyaaang! Yaaay!"

My kid said she didn't want them. The nutrients in vegetables could always be covered with supplements.

After breakfast I went into my room to work, and Chu-chu—

"Pfft! Chu-chu, you brought your hideout?"

"Yeah, I moved in!"

—came into my room carrying the hideout. She didn't want to be apart from me, but she also wanted to spend time inside it. That must have been the decision she'd landed on.

"Chu-chu, want to try reading a book?"

"A book?"

"Yeah. Playing with your toys all by yourself is starting to get old, isn't it?"

"A little...?"

She seemed to be watching my face as she answered. Does she think it'll be a burden on me while I'm working? If that's what this is, she's a very commendable little filial cat.

"There are lots of comic books here."

"Whoa! There are!"

"Pick one whose cover looks fun and give it a read."

I had loved comics since my school days, so I owned the complete runs of all sorts of series. Surely Chu-chu would prefer comics to a book that was nothing but text.

"Hmm, this one!"

"...Not that one."

"Huh? But there's a cat just like me."

What she had picked was a comic whose protagonist was a cat Beastkin, and the contents were not something I could show a two-year-old cat. How was I supposed to hand her a manga whose hero was a walking disaster, a total deadbeat, and a nicotine addict? I had bought every volume released in Korea on nothing more than the news that a cat appeared in it, and this was the one and only cat I had ever disliked.

"This one has things in it that aren't good for you. Let's pick something else."

"Hmm, then this one!"

"Yeah, that one's fine."

Chu-chu ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠chose a high-teen romance and went straight into her hideout. Using a plush as a cushion, she lay on her stomach and began to read, slowly. When she seemed nicely absorbed, I turned my chair and got down to work in earnest. Today, too, I had to work hard for Chu-chu.

"Nya. Nya nya nya. Nyaaang."

"Pfft! Chu-chu, what song is that?"

"A nya-nya song."

The comic must have suited her quite well, because she went and pulled the next volume off the shelf all on her own. Every time she did, she came walking over to the bookcase humming some tune I had never heard before.

"Are the comics fun?"

"Yeah! Super fun. It's about learning how humans live, right?"

Learning that sort of thing from comics probably isn't ideal. It's the same as learning Japanese from anime.

"That's why it's fun!"

Well. If my kid said it was fun, that was enough.

"Keep working, Butler. I'll read my comics quietly."

I was watching her read when a question flickered through my mind. How can she read at all? Understanding speech, I could chalk up to her becoming a Beastkin. But reading... was that part of becoming a Beastkin too?

"Chu-chu, do you know how to read?"

"Huh? What kind of question is that, Butler? As if this magnificent self could possibly be illiterate."

"Il-illiterate...?"

Look at her for even a moment and it was plain: the number of times Chu-chu reached for an expression that left me flustered was never just once or twice.

"You wouldn't have been able to read when you were a cat."

"Yeah, that's right. But after I became like this, I could."

"Chu-chu, try saying escalator."

"Es-ca... lator. Why?"

So she's only comfortable with Korean?

"Anyway, you can read."

"Yeah! I can read all of it."

All this time I had assumed Chu-chu couldn't read Korean, and whenever I had a spare moment I had been thinking about how to teach her. Thankfully, that weight could come off my shoulders.

"My baby is smart, huh?"

"Ehehe! Obviously!"

"Enjoy your comics. When I'm done with work, let's play."

"Okay!"

The rustle of turning pages and the soft swish of her tail were like ASMR that helped the work along enormously. I finished everything, and maybe three hours had passed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠after that.

"Oh my?"

"Kooo... nyam nyaaang..."

At some point Chu-chu had read the entire series and was fast asleep, hugging the plush tight. The hideout was roomy enough to stretch her legs, but it still couldn't be as comfortable as the bed. When I carefully gathered her up and laid her on the bed, she squirmed, then caught my collar in one small hand.

"Butler... let's... play together..."

"Pfft! Okay. Once you finish your little nap, we'll play. Sleep tight, my baby. I love you."

Smack!

I pressed a light kiss to her forehead and set the hand that had been clutching my collar back on the plush.

"So cute."

Fast asleep, Chu-chu was nothing short of an angel. They say children are prettiest when they're sleeping. I thought I could finally understand that. I pulled the blanket over her, kept my place until she woke, and got a head start on tomorrow's work. Everything I had ordered was arriving tomorrow, which meant I would be playing with her all day.

"Huaaam... I slept well."

Chu-chu woke around the time Daeun would be getting off work. At the sound of her stirring I turned, watching with a warm, satisfied feeling. Still hazy, she bobbed her head and hugged the plush tight.

"Chu-chu, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah! Now we get to play!"

"Daeun will be here soon. Let's wait just a little."

"Okay!"

A guest was coming, so it seemed best to look clean. Without a word I took Chu-chu's hand and led her out.

"Where are we going, Butler?"

"Somewhere very nice."

"Somewhere nice?"

By the time the question had fully formed, Chu-chu's feet were already inside the bathroom.

"Eek! We're washing?"

"We have to. Daeun's coming, remember? We should be all clean and dressed in pretty clothes, right?"

"Don't wanna!"

I turned on the faucet to start with her face, and she slammed it shut in a flash.

"The Earth is hurting."

"What are you talking about, all of a sudden?"

I turned the faucet on again. Just like before, she shut the water off.

"I'm telling you, the Earth is in pain."

Of all the things I thought I might live to see, a cat bringing up environmental issues was not one of them.

"It's not that I don't want to wash. It's for protecting the environment. There's an environmental crisis."

"Then you're the one in crisis. You sure you're okay with that?"

"Nya, nyah...?"

Chu-chu, who had been resisting with everything she had, finally surrendered, and came out clean.

"Ugh... I washed again."

"I thought you'd gotten over being scared of water, but maybe not yet."

"I still hate water."

Tomorrow's problem was how I was going to coax her into playing in the water. She would probably want to play in nothing but the sand.

"Chu-chu, your hair..."

"I hate the dryer sound."

If I kept leaving her hair undried, it would be bad for her scalp and for the hair itself, so I couldn't just keep letting it go. The problem was that she hated the sound of the hair dryer even more than she hated water. Should I buy a drying machine? First I'd have to find out whether a dryer even exists that a whole person can fit inside.

"Yeah, okay. Let's just change clothes."

I had just gotten her out of her pajamas and into dolphin shorts and a sweatshirt when the doorbell rang.

"That must be Daeun."

"I'll get it!"

She dashed over and threw the front door open.

"Oh my, Chu-chu!"

"Hi! Daeun-unnie!"

"Uh... unnie?"

"Yeah! Butler told me to call you unnie."

"Guhk...! To hear unnie from a baby this cute...!"

Caught off guard by the form of address, Daeun staggered and clutched at her heart.

"Our baby's cute, right?"

"I'm already grateful the giant pair of boobs whose face I've seen until I'm sick of it isn't the one welcoming me—and now I get called unnie on top of that. Chu-chu, did unnie keep you waiting long?"

My fist clenched for a second, but she had made time for Chu-chu, so this once I had no choice but to let it go quietly.

"Mm-hm! Hurry up and come play!"

"Okay, I'll just wash my hands."

While Daeun went to wash her hands and come back, I got Halli Galli set up to perfection.

"Chu-chu, you know Daeun is really good at Halli Galli?"

"How good?"

"Back in high school, there wasn't a single person who could beat her."

"She's that good? Then this will be a fine match for yours truly."

Even against Chu-chu's incredible reflexes, someone on Daeun's level might be more than she can handle.

"What are we playing?"

"Halli Galli."

"What, you're planning to lose to me?"

"It'll be different this time. Our baby's reflexes are incredible. Chu-chu, let me explain the rules a little more carefully."

On top of what I had already told her, I explained that you don't lose right away even if you don't have a card you can play, and that while you're putting cards down, the hand you'll use to hit the bell has to be holding your ear.

"I see."

"Yeah, the rules are easy, right?"

"Yeah, easy! But hey. Which ears am I supposed to be holding?"

She tilted her head and raised a perfectly reasonable question. The two of us, looking at her—

"Pfft! Puhahaha!"

"Ahahaha! Wow, that's way too cute!"

—felt the cuteness hit like a wave, and burst out laughing.