Chapter 78. Scent of Snow (1)
Chapter 78. Scent of Snow (1)
1
...Baraya, Baraya, Agabaraya.......
...The mind is a candle, so burn this place.......
A prayer passed down from ancient times.
Just as monks chant the name of Amitabha, the people of the Demonic Cult recited Baraya.
...Baraya, Baraya, Agabaraya.......
...The mind is a candle, so burn this place.......
No one knew what "Baraya" meant. So Baek-hyang did not know either. The old man who had brought So Baek-hyang to the Demonic Cult did not know. They recited it without knowing.
To So Baek-hyang, Baraya was the song of the common folk. It was a scream. A scream has no inherent meaning. So was it not only natural that the song of the common folk had no meaning either?
That one could recite it without knowing.
That when a person screams, there is no need to know many things.
Thus, a person must learn propriety (禮) to observe decorum, and must practice righteousness (義) to carry out justice—but a scream alone was the exception. Even common folk who had learned nothing and practiced nothing could at least scream.
...Baraya.......
...Baraya.......
...Agabaraya.......
A scream was the essence common to all nations.
The world So Baek-hyang looked upon was screaming.
-There is nothing more I can teach you.
The old man said.
-Go forth into the world (出頭).
-Where shall I go?
So Baek-hyang asked. A low voice. Before she knew it, she had grown into adulthood.
The eleven-year-old child was no longer here. Ink-dark hair, ink-dark eyes, ink-dark martial robes. The woman was as black as a well at midnight.
She wished to become a hell.
To become hell for other people, the woman had grown that deep.
-Where do you wish to go?
-To where the hungry are.
So Baek-hyang answered.
-To where the thirsty are, where the suffocating are, where the cold are, where those addicted to poison are, where the sick are, where those beaten by the magistrate's office are, where those burning to death are.
So Baek-hyang looked at the empty air.
-That is where I wish to go.
-.......
Far, far away.
From outside the main hall (本堂), the sound of prayer could be heard. The demonic practitioners were bowing and praying. Their voices. Their trembling. Baraya, Baraya, Agabaraya....... Those became vibrations that traveled along the wooden floor.
-Then, Baek-hyang.
The old man spoke.
-This entire world is your destination.
So Baek-hyang. Age 21.
She went forth into the murim.
That winter, 31 martial artists of the jianghu, 47 officials of the royal court, and 55 local magnates lost their heads.
2
"Our cult's rites are special."
The Heavenly Demon quietly dismissed the others. She sent away the Murim Alliance Master and Viper. She headed somewhere with me alone.
"Do you know how to perform the Nine-Bow Rite (九拜之禮)?"
"No, I do not."
"In our cult, when a disciple welcomes a master, they bow nine times."
The place we headed to was a cave. A cave veiled in hot spring steam. It was already a dwelling as familiar to me as home, but the place the Heavenly Demon took me to was unfamiliar.
A place never once permitted to our party.
The Heavenly Demon walked toward the deepest depths of the cave.
"Hm."
The Heavenly Demon waved her hand. Her loose sleeve fluttered once, and candles lit up throughout the darkness. Countless candles illuminated the cave's stalagmites and stalactites.
"But bowing is not the end of it. Whether the nine bows will be accepted is entirely up to the master. The master may demand the Nine-Bow Rite from the disciple as many times as she wishes, until she is satisfied."
The Heavenly Demon smiled faintly.
"The point is that it depends on my heart."
"Hmm... Is there a separate standard?"
"There is."
The end of the passage.
"Originally, in propriety, the heart matters more than outward appearance. Child, the reason decorum distinguishes time and place is simply because the human heart is fickle and light."
There was an enormous library (書庫) there.
With every step the Heavenly Demon took, candles lit up on either side of her path. As each candle lit, the library's true form was revealed. A soaring cave ceiling. Books and bamboo scrolls were stacked in layers, reaching all the way to that ceiling.
"It is not easy to hold down the lightness of the heart."
The Heavenly Demon walked.
The candlelight shone on her ankles.
"That is why people choose sacred times and holy places. They rely on time and place. They lean on heaven and earth to weigh down their light hearts."
"Heavenly Demon, this place is......?"
"It is our cult's martial arts archive (武功秘庫)."
The Heavenly Demon said.
"And it is also the martial arts archive of the Nine Great Sects and One Gang and the Five Great Clans. I call this place the Heavenly Martial Hall (天武館)."
The guardian spirit’s mouth fell open.
-That's fucking incredible. It's a total treasure vault! Zombie, I'm gonna go look at the martial arts manuals! Don't mind me, just do your thing. If you can, stall for time until I've read everything!
The guardian spirit, mad for martial arts, dashed off in a hurry.
-Hell yeah! All the ultimate techniques of this world's murim are mine now! I'll sweep up every last enlightenment! Kuhahaha!
Whether she knew a ghost was rampaging through her library or not, the Heavenly Demon remained composed.
"I went forth into the murim at the age of twenty-one. Can you guess what thought I first held when I went forth into the murim?"
"Uh... 'I'll smash in the heads of all those obnoxious orthodox bastards.' Something like that?"
"That was my third thought."
"'I'll prove the Demonic Cult is the greatest'......?"
"That was my second thought."
The Heavenly Demon winked her left eye.
"I shall tell you. Ever since I was young, I truly hated the word murim (武林)."
"Pardon?"
"Murim is the name for a jianghu that reveres martial arts. But how could a jianghu contain only martial artists? There are boatmen and farmers. Merchants live there, and courtesans live there. The trees that form a single forest are countless. Each tree has a different name and a different grain, yet the Nine Great Sects and One Gang and the Five Great Clans named that place the forest of martial arts, of all things."
It displeased me.
The Heavenly Demon muttered quietly.
"So I resolved to take martial arts (武) away from them."
"Taking away martial arts means......?"
"I plundered every last martial arts manual those bastards treasured like sacred relics!"
The Heavenly Demon laughed mischievously.
It was a smile brimming with playfulness.
"Heh heh. The faces those Kunlun Taoist bastards made are still vivid. They begged me to twist off and split their heads if I must, but to please spare only the books containing the mysteries of the Cloud Dragon (雲龍)! What kind of person am I? I gladly buried the Taoists in the ground with only their heads sticking out. And then, right before their watching eyes, I bundled up the martial arts manuals and ran off!"
Wow.
Our master sure has a temper.
"That went on for decades. Now this place is Kunlun, and Wudang. The Sichuan Tang Clan. The Zhuge Clan. The Maoshan Sect. All the martial arts under heaven form a forest here, so it is only fitting to call this place murim. I......."
The Heavenly Demon slowly sat down.
"I wish to receive your bows here."
"......."
"Will you offer them?"
"Yes."
"I will not quibble over outward form. Child from beyond the border. Bow as your body leads you."
I did so.
I removed my shoes and set them down neatly. I knelt. The moment I was about to press my forehead to the floor. The Heavenly Demon's voice flowed out.
"Offer all nine bows, but place a different heart into each bow."
Each heart.
"In the first bow, place the heart of hunger."
"......."
"Do you understand?"
So that was how it was.
"Yes, I understand."
The bond between master and disciple was truly weighty.
In the Demonic Cult, this rite was not simply bowing nine times.
The Nine-Bow Rite.
It was no different from the Demonic Heavenly God Art itself.
"Hoo......."
Slowly. I swallowed my breath with a deep inhale.
I drew a picture at the very center of my heart.
A farmer swinging a pickaxe. A riverside. Mud.
「Hunger is children waiting for the sun.」
I bowed.
"Mm."
The Heavenly Demon nodded. She had accepted my first bow (一拜). My hunger held no falsehood, so it was not lacking as a single rite of propriety.
"The Demonic Cult's realms are divided broadly into four."
To me, who would soon become her disciple, the Heavenly Demon bestowed an old teaching.
"The first realm is Entering Demon (入魔). Entering Demon is one who can speak of their own pain. The demonic practitioners who join our cult speak not with words but with the sword. Therefore, the realm of Entering Demon refers to one who can speak of their own pain with the sword."
I bowed again.
After hunger came thirst, so I drew seawater in my heart.
"The second realm is Extreme Demon (極魔). Extreme Demon is one who can speak of another's pain. Therefore, the realm of Extreme Demon refers to one who can, with the sword, give voice to another's pain."
The Heavenly Demon silently accepted my second bow (二拜) as well.
I drew a drowned father in my heart and bowed once more.
"The third realm is Transcending Demon (脫魔)."
Again the Heavenly Demon nodded.
She had willingly accepted my third bow (三拜).
"Transcending Demon is one who can speak of the pain of all people. Walking the road, meeting person after person, Transcending Demon must be able to feel what torments each one."
I offered my fourth bow (四拜).
"Those who reach this realm are exceedingly rare! Even in our cult's history, those who have reached Transcending Demon do not fill five fingers. I myself stand at Transcending Demon."
Again the Heavenly Demon accepted my bow.
"Lastly, there is the realm of Divine Demon (神魔). Divine Demon is one who can speak not only of the pain of all people but of the pain of all things. It is said they can give voice to the suffering of all creation. However, this is an unproven realm! It is merely conjecture that such a realm might exist. In truth, no one has reached Divine Demon."
It was when I was about to offer my fifth bow (五拜).
"Stop."
"......."
"Offer it again."
"......."
The fifth sword path of the Demonic Heavenly God Art was the form of death by poisoning (毒死): the gestures of those dying from poison. I had not yet learned the fifth sword path.
The Heavenly Demon said quietly.
"I said offer it again."
I bowed.
"Offer it again."
I bowed.
"Offer it again."
Again. Again. Again. Again.
Cold sweat ran down my forehead. My back grew clammy.
The Heavenly Demon's face remained as composed as ever.
"Offer it again."
To clumsily hold the heart of one poisoned to death (毒死): 336 times.
To draw one who died of illness (病死) in my heart: 189 times.
To draw one who died by beating (杖死) and express it through my body: 510 bows were needed.
Sweat poured.
I silently knelt and bent my back.
"...An upright child."
The Heavenly Demon smiled.
"There are children upright because their birth was gentle. There are children whose birth was harsh, yet who became upright by their own will. Child from beyond the border, you are surely the latter. What kind of life did you live to become so gentle?"
It was a slightly sorrowful smile.
"How does one live to become this gentle......."
The candlelight wavered.
As the light wavered, the shadows wavered.
As they wavered, the Heavenly Demon's shadow and my shadow overlapped.
"If the sun signifies life, then shade is pain."
The gaunt shadow spoke.
"The outlines of humans living their lives are each separate, but pain overlaps and overlaps again. Thus, humans are not one because they are alive, but one only because of pain."
That was the doctrine (敎理) of shadows.
"If you say you will exchange pain with someone, it means you intend to spend your whole life with that person. Therefore, one who is wounded by all people simply wishes to be with all people, child."
A doctrine with only one mouth left in this world to pass it on.
"Gong-ja."
That mouth was speaking to me.
"A person does not only decide whom they will wound; they can also decide by whom they will be wounded. The common folk you wish to save will never be virtuous. The masses you save will never be noble. The one you love will never be perfect."
The shadow whispered.
The shadow's whisper carried the warmth of candlelight.
"Even so, if you wish to be wounded by all people. If you willingly bare your skin to them. When they claw at you with their nails, think only that they clawed you while trying to hold you too tightly."
"......."
"Life is suffering. But it is only human suffering. Baraya, Baraya. Agabaraya. Your heart is a candle. Burn it, and see the shadows of others."
Candle wax slid down.
"The eighth Demonic Heaven is death by burning (燒死)."
It dripped.
"Gong-ja, offer your bow with the heart of one burning to death."
I.
「But you know I’m the Flame Emperor, don’t you, pal.」
「Then you'll have to die.」
「Farewell.」
I bowed.
"......."
Press.
The shadow closed its mouth.
336 times for death by poisoning. 189 times for death by illness. 510 times for death by beating.
The words "offer it again" that had echoed through the cave for 1,035 times in total did not come this time. My death by burning seemed to suffice with just one.
"...So it was."
The trail of dripping candle wax.
A voice seeped into the place where the trail had formed.
"The final sword of the Demonic Heaven is... not fixed. It is an empty form (空式). Each generation’s cult leader engraves their own death into the final sword. Thus, the ninth sword path of the Demonic Heavenly God Art differs vastly from wielder to wielder."
A place where one's own death would be set.
"Offer the ninth bow (九拜) with your death."
"......."
I.
During the 4,090 times I killed myself, I.
My throat hurt.
The throat pierced by a dagger hurt. My hands trembled. My arms shook. Because of the trembling and shaking, I was afraid the blade would go in crooked. I was afraid that a botched stab would prolong the pain. So I wrapped blue tape around the dagger's hilt.
I wrapped the blue tape from the hilt around my right hand and left hand too. I fixed it in place. That way, it seemed I would not tremble. The day I had to regress reached 4,050 days. But I died 4,090 times. I had to die. Because I had nearly given up along the way. I had fled for several days.
But there was a person I could not forgive.
I had no confidence I could live on after forgiving that.
I wrapped the blue tape again. The slower the death, the more my resolve blurred, and my decision slowed. The more my decision dragged on, the more the days I had to die only increased. I cut off the idle thoughts. I ignored the hesitation.
Because I desperately wanted to live, I desperately died.
Suicide, 自殺.
I drew that as my final picture, and to the Heavenly Demon, I bowed.
"......."
The shadow wavered. It was the Heavenly Demon rising from her seat. I realized it a beat late. By the time I realized it, the Heavenly Demon was already holding my shoulders.
"Gong-ja."
In the cave, two shadows overlapped.
"My disciple."
"...Yes."
"You are my disciple."
"Yes."
"I do not care where you came from. Wherever you go, wherever you are, you are the disciple of the Heavenly Demon So Baek-hyang. Our doctrine is in your heart. Even if the jianghu falls and the world fades, as long as your heart does not stop, the Demonic Heaven (魔天) will continue."
I spoke.
"...Yes, Master."
My throat hurt.
They were painful days.
That, I now knew.