Chapter 73. The One Who Picks Up Death (2)
Chapter 73. The One Who Picks Up Death (2)
2
Hunger.
What is hunger?
"......."
It was the seventh day since I had begun my fast.
"Hm."
The first and second days had been the worst. Once three days passed, the pain receded. My organs slowed. My thoughts grew sluggish. My life itself had grown faint.
If a person's life were a river, the current had dwindled. It was drying up shallow, like a stream in a year of famine.
Drought.
Quietly withering away, fading out. The current dwindling and dwindling, holding on until the stream of pain, the stream of thought, the stream of life all dried up completely.
Was this what [hunger] was?
Was this the training the Heavenly Demon wanted from me?
"...No."
I unfolded my legs from the lotus position and stood.
"This isn't it."
I muttered quietly.
"If I just sit still, it'll all be for nothing."
I drew my sword. In my head, I traced the sword paths of the Demonic Heavenly God Art, and I swung the blade along those lines. Recklessly.
-What are you doing?
"Exercising."
The winter was cold. I breathed the cold air. Was it because I had been drinking snow for seven days? My breath was white, like snowflakes.
"I was thinking about it wrong. I'm such an idiot....... The [hunger] the Heavenly Demon spoke of isn't simply [not eating]. And it's even less about sitting in lotus position and entering fasting meditation."
As soon as I moved my body after a week, I was quickly out of breath.
My muscles trembled. My airway constricted painfully.
"Hunger is [wanting to eat but being unable to]."
A clumsy sword dance.
But sweat flowed. It was different from sitting silently. My body began to come alive. The amount of sweat flowing from my flesh was probably equal to the volume of my life.
"During this past week, I thought about a farmer. A starving farmer."
What is hunger?
"Would a farmer skip working the fields just because he's hungry? Hungry or not, whether he's eaten or not, he has to work. He works, and yet there's nothing to eat."
Wasn't that hunger?
"He swings his pickaxe. He digs the earth. But it's a year of famine. A harsh age. No matter what he does, the earth won't bear grain. The seeds won't even take."
I swung my sword.
"Because there's nothing he can do......."
And I closed my eyes.
The earth.
I pictured earth that had dried out and gone brittle.
"...That's why he starves."
A farmer brought his pickaxe down on the parched earth. Thunk! The clods of soil would crumble. Like an old cookie breaking apart.
"It's already been over half a year since it last rained."
-.......
The reservoir was empty. The village well had dried up too. There wasn't a single drop of water in the fields. At midday, an old man came out and sat at the village entrance. Wordlessly. The old man's wrinkled face had no moisture either.
"Because it's a drought."
The sun was hot.
Some villagers had already given up farming. Abandoned their fields. Having abandoned their work and their workplace, there was less reason not to abandon their homes. The villagers took their children and left for the coast.
"But this farmer still hasn't let go."
-Why?
"Because he doesn't think the sea will be any different. Because he doesn't know how to fish. In the end, a person has to survive on the thievery they've learned, and the farmer only learned how to steal food from the earth. The farmer's father, and his father's father, and his father before him......."
One day.
Two days.
Three days.
The farmer goes out to the fields. Even though it's fruitless, he goes as if clocking in for work. In the evening, he climbs the hill behind the village and strips the bark from the trees that can still be eaten.
"Now there's barely any bark left."
The villagers had stripped it all.
Coming down the mountain and looking back, the trees on the hill were all stripped bare and white. From a distance, it looked like a forest of birches spreading out.
Hunger was what turned the world white.
"But."
The farmer swung his pickaxe at the bare ground.
I swung my sword at the empty air.
"Even this bark, I can't eat."
He has a family.
"It's already been over a week since I last tasted even the bark."
He has children.
-So?
As pickaxe swing followed pickaxe swing, and sword stroke followed sword stroke, the guardian spirit asked.
-So what are you going to do?
"First, he goes to the village well."
From the well with its bottom exposed, he barely scoops out a single gourdful of water.
"He boils the scraps of bark in that water. Adding bits of leaves and such... he has to boil it."
The grassy scent of leaves.
The thick smell of bark mixes with the steam and wafts out.
The farmer swallows.
'I'm hungry.'
I swallow too.
'I want to eat.'
I want to bite into the bark and tear it.
The bark softens. The bark soaks up the scent of water and the fragrance of leaves. It seems like it would be sweet. I want to tear it with my teeth and chew. The rich broth would seep out and run. It would smell of earth. Brown food.
Bark was edible dirt.
'I want to eat.'
But he holds back.
'I have to give it to the kids....... Even this. I have to give it to them.'
The children whine. They're crying.
The bark their father boiled. The bark their father brought, barely, without eating any himself—the children hate it. They turn their heads away. They complain while eating.
They knock it over.
'Ah.'
Before he knew it, the farmer had slapped his child's cheek.
As the farmer swung his arm, I too swung my sword.
'This isn't right.'
The farmer turns his back on his children.
'This isn't who I am.'
...I am not someone who hits my children. I'm not that kind of person. It's just that the famine has been so severe. It's been so long since I've put proper food in my mouth that my nerves have sharpened. I've become oversensitive. I've gone too far.......
'My life wasn't supposed to be like this.'
The farmer picks up the bark.
What is hunger?
Since the world began, there have been countless famines.
Each time, there were farmers, farmers, farmers—countless farmers.
There were countless hungers.
「Fight while feeling hunger.」
Can hunger have gestures?
「Every stroke of your sword must be a gesture born of hunger.」
Yes.
Hunger has gestures.
「Recall the voices and groans of the starving, the movements of their arms, the motions of their feet—everything.」
That gesture was the farmer slapping his own child's cheek.
That gesture was the farmer storming out of the house and hurling the bark into the yard.
That gesture was the farmer going back and handing the dirt-covered bark to his children.
「Recall it and plant it in your heart.」
Since the world began, some farmers would have struck their children, and some farmers would have stroked their children's cheeks and whispered that they were sorry. Some farmers, while beating their children, would have killed them outright. Some farmers survived until the next year, while others died along with their children.
So it was, and so it will be.
「Make it a single resolve.」
Whatever the gesture, there was no gesture that was not starving.
「Based on this resolve.」
「Swing your sword only through hunger.」
With the gesture of striking a child out of rage and resentment, I swung my sword.
With the gesture of throwing bark to the ground and thereby throwing away life itself, I swung my sword.
With the gesture of going back and handing the bark to the children again, I swung my sword.
「Only then will the Demonic Heavenly God Art unleash its true power.」
Demonic Heavenly God Art魔天神功.
First Form第一式.
Sword of Starvation餓死流劍.
"......."
I slowly opened my eyes.
The white midday of the snowfield had at some point turned into a pitch-black night.
My whole body was drenched in sweat. Soaked in sweat, only then did I feel hungry. Starving. A maddening emptiness gnawed at my stomach. The emptiness was like a worm with teeth, chewing my insides—crunch, munch.
'This is hunger.'
It hurt.
'This is starvation.'
Demonic art(魔功).
Claws that rake the world.
On the cave walls, claw marks ran wild. Had a gale swept through? My sword strokes were clearly carved into the stone walls. Stalactites and stalagmites had been sliced clean off.
The blade had cut through walls and pillars made of stone.
Even though I had barely imbued it with Aura.
'But... it's still not enough.'
Just now, I had touched the edge of the divine art.
I definitely felt it.
The sword path drawn in my head. The mental image drawn in my heart. The feeling of the two aligning—that sensation—was unmistakably caught in my fingertips.
And because of that, I knew.
"It's still clumsy."
The place my fingertips had gently touched.
That place was not the summit of the mountain, but at best its foothills.
-Are you insane.......
The guardian spirit looked at me with an expression of utter exhaustion.
"Oh, why am I insane again? I'm training properly this time, aren't I?"
-Properly, my ass. The bastards who train in the art of lust(色功) would be more proper than this.
The guardian spirit sighed deeply.
-This is why the ignorant are scarier. You little shit. You're truly a madman without equal in this world. Your spirit is rooted in the orthodox faction, but you're running an inner cultivation method from the Demonic Cult. Good grief.
"Uh, I still don't really know Wuxia terminology. What's wrong with that?"
-You martial-arts-illiterate little shit.......
The guardian spirit muttered.
-Do you have any idea how monstrous this is, and this brat doesn't even know. God, I'm losing my mind.
"Then explain it so I can understand, please."
-To put it simply, an orthodox faction master is using demonic arts. Want me to be more precise? [He's an orthodox faction master who can only use demonic arts.] You zombie bastard. Doesn't this make your jaw drop and your nose clog?
"Hm."
I raised my left hand and plugged my nose.
"I think it might be clogged?"
-This guy starved for over a week and lost his mind....... No, he was crazy from the start....... What sin did I commit in my past life to be possessed by a lunatic like this.......
The guardian spirit lamented.
-Because of him, even I'm getting agitated. Ugh, how am I supposed to teach this guy my martial arts? If I teach him the way I taught old man Marcus, it's going to go to shit. What do I do.......
Ah, I'm hungry.
I want a Choco Pie.
A choco pie that tastes like chocolate when you bite into it. A choco pie with chewy white marshmallow inside. I want to slurp warm milk—slurp, smack—and chew on just one piece of choco pie.
What is hunger?
Gong-ja said: hunger was a Choco Pie.
A delicious choco pie that's good for you.
-...Hey, you're thinking about something else right now, aren't you?
"No? I'm pondering martial arts."
-Don't bullshit me. You've obviously got some stupid thought on your face.
Why does this old man know me so well? Is he a stalker? Come to think of it, a guardian spirit is a ghost that follows behind you everywhere. Translated into English, you could call it a ghost stalker. Thinking about it that way made me feel a bit unpleasant.
What a creepy stalker.
"It's true. Really, really true. Did you live your whole life being lied to and die?"
-Then tell me. What exactly were you pondering about martial arts?
The stalker pressed. Even the way he nitpicked small things was exactly like a stalker. Despite having a build like a gorilla. Hurry up and ascend to nirvana, you ghost gorilla stalker.
I put on a solemn expression.
"First, I was thinking about heading down the mountain for a bit."
-Down the mountain? Why? Are you finally going to show the Heavenly Demon what you're made of?
"Pfft."
I waved my hand.
"I've only just reached the foothills of the Demonic Heavenly God Art. What's the point of killing myself and going back to the Heavenly Demon now? I'd only get a reaction like [Hm, well, the kid's got potential, I suppose]."
-Huh? Then that's fine. You just need to be acknowledged.
"Acknowledged, my ass. That gets me nothing."
I stepped out of the cave.
"Do you know how crushed and hurt I was when the Heavenly Demon dismissed me as someone who'd never truly starved? I'm someone who holds grudges. Just being acknowledged will never soothe my wounds."
-This guy, he's creepy.......
"The reaction I want is [astonishing]."
A startled face.
I want to see the Heavenly Demon shocked at the sight of my sword.
"[Your talent overflows. It overflows so much it explodes! I failed to recognize that you were my destined opportunity. My eyes must have failed me for a moment. I apologize.]"
Hm.
Just imagining it makes me feel good.
At that moment, the Heavenly Demon's face would be as sweet as a choco pie.
"How about it? Nice picture, right? You agree too, don't you, Sword Emperor?"
-You creepy lunatic bastard.......
I descended the snowy mountain and headed toward the snowfield.
"I felt something while performing the Demonic Heavenly God Art earlier. Ah, compared to the people of this era, I really have never truly starved. When I imagined the farmer boiling bark, I couldn't precisely imagine what kind of bark it was. How exactly you're supposed to boil the bark. I couldn't imagine it accurately up to that point."
Because I'd never done it.
"The clearer the mental imagery (心像) I conjure, the more powerful the divine art becomes. The reason my martial arts are still weak even after learning the [Demonic Heavenly God Art] skill is simply because my mental imagery is still crude. So......."
I stopped in the snowfield.
"From now on, I'm going to fill in the imagination I'm lacking."
-How? Are you really going to try boiling bark or something?
"No. There's a much better way."
I grinned.
"Hundred Ghost Reincarnation (百鬼還生)."
Moonlight shone down. The snowfield was dyed silver.
Suddenly, clouds covered the moon. What was cloud in the night sky became shadow on the snowfield. Little by little. The shadow, like a worm with teeth, bit into the snowfield, one bite at a time.
The moon swallowed by shadow.
[Activating skill.]
A moment later, the clouds withdrew.
But the shadow cast on the snowfield did not disappear. Even under the moonlight, the snowfield was no longer silver. As if a moon once swallowed could never return, countless shadows draped over the snowfield.
"My lord."
One of the shadows spoke.
"You have called?"
Agwi(餓鬼) knelt on one knee. Crunch. The snow compressed under her knee with a small sound. Behind her stood thousands of skeletons.
"Hm."
I nodded.
"Agwi, I have a task for you all."
"Command us."
"This is a dying world. Humans have all become wraiths and corpses, wandering the netherworld. Well. It might be somewhat similar to the Aegim Empire you once destroyed."
"......."
Agwi lowered her head a little more.
"My order is simple. Scatter. Scatter and gather the starving corpses."
"Starving corpses... you say?"
"Yes."
I gazed out over the endless snowy night (雪夜).
"Somewhere out here, there are villages and farming communities. Find them. Find the corpses of those who starved to death and bring them here. The corpses will move and resist, but there are over four thousand of you. Overwhelm them with numbers."
"How many."
Agwi carefully spoke.
"How many corpses shall we retrieve......?"
"112."
"......."
Humans who carried the trauma of hunger.
I would learn their hunger.
When I had learned and mastered all of their starvation,
only then would I draw closer to the Heavenly Demon.