Chapter 64. Orthodox-Demonic War (3)
Chapter 64. Orthodox-Demonic War (3)
3
Even though the world had been destroyed, the two martial artists did not stop their war.
That alone was enough to leave one dumbfounded, but... there was a separate, even more shocking sight.
It was the way the two of them were fighting.
"A scholar does not choose his brush, and a martial artist does not choose his blade."
The Heavenly Demon spoke to the Murim Alliance Master.
In her hand, she still held a wooden stick.
"Though I forgot my Blood-Slaying Demon Sword and left it behind, so I'm stuck holding Demonic Chastisement, I'm still more than capable of sending a doddering old fool like you to the grave."
"Ohhh, is that so!"
The Murim Alliance Master raised his switch and cried out boldly.
"Then let us settle once and for all who shall be the last to unify the murim!"
And so the two martial artists clashed.
Perhaps the word "clashed" was a bit excessive.
Because the spectacle the two of them put on was nothing more or less than a simple brawl.
"Heavenly Demon Sovereign Step!"
"Hup! Golden Battle-Axe Shatters Heaven!"
The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Master shouted rather plausible-sounding names as they grappled. But the plausibility was only in the words.
What the two of them held in their hands were mere switches, and the sound the switches made as they intertwined was not so much lighthearted as it was outright cheerful.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
Before long, the switches broke. At that, the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Master glared and lunged at each other. The Heavenly Demon grabbed the Murim Alliance Master's beard, and the Murim Alliance Master yanked the Heavenly Demon's hair.
I was at a loss for words.
"What in the world..."
It was truly a case of things going from bad to worse.
While all of us stood there dumbfounded,
-Well, now, that's strange.
The guardian spirit showed an unusual reaction.
-Their stances are proper, those two.
'Excuse me?'
-Their forms and breathing are correct. Even by the standards of my world, they're supreme masters.
I looked at the duel again. The Murim Alliance Master was just about to jab at the Heavenly Demon's eyes, and the Heavenly Demon was hurriedly covering her face with both hands.
'That?'
-Can't you see the principle in it? That eye-jab contains the principle of a divine dragon's claw snatching the wish-fulfilling jewel from a wicked dragon. If you had to name it, you could call it Twin Dragons Contesting the Jewel. And that face-covering contains the meaning of a Buddha descended upon this world covering the faces of all living beings one by one, so you could call it Thousand-Form Avalokitesvara...
The Sword Emperor's explanation continued on and on after that.
I raised a hand to stop the Sword Emperor's explanation.
'But why are they having a dogfight in that sorry state?'
-That's why I said it's strange. If the form has reached that level, then the qi should naturally follow, and thus the intent should also be brimming. But right now, there's no qi—that is, no aura—loaded into their movements at all, which is why they're making such a mess. Even if their dantian had been shattered, it shouldn't be like that...
Watching the guardian spirit repeatedly tilt his head, I thought of one possibility.
Perhaps the only possibility.
'Sword Emperor, you're just messing with me right now, aren't you?'
-Now, now, zombie. I'm not some demon; I don't joke about things like this.
The Sword Emperor instead scolded me.
-No, seriously, can you really not see it? You just had to go and do your closed-door training with Agwi, of all people, forcing out form and intent with nothing but aura. Heh heh. Well, I suppose that was exactly the training you needed at the time, but...
Setting aside how he dismissed the years I spent fighting the Demon King of Fall Rain as "closed-door training," the Sword Emperor was serious.
And one more serious person appeared.
"That old man and that woman... they're quite good."
Viper was frowning with his single eye.
"That bite just now carried the principle of the Earth King Serpent, and that block with the arm just now carried the principle of the Calm Crossing Dragon."
-Heh, they say that guy's the "real deal," and a martial artist is a martial artist indeed. Yes, a bite like the great serpent called the king of the earth, and a block like the dragon that crosses over with ease! Did you see that, zombie? Unlike you, he has eyes that can see.
I silently pulled up Viper's status window.
The Heavenly Martial Sect Master was thinking seriously with his arms crossed.
「If I analyze it using the derived combat paths that appear in my [Peerless Under Heaven] skill... yes, I'm right.」
「Those movements. They can be explained by ['I' was reincarnated as a 'hell'hound (Cerberus) and it was all well and good until I ended up guarding the front gate of the Demon 'King's' castle, but the heads on either side are the reincarnations of the troublemaker and the class president, so the 'me' stuck between them is having a rough time, you know], and [The male high schooler who was the hero of an 'on'line game resolves to become a true he'ro' together with his childhood friend, a younger classmate he has a 'crush' on who is also a popular manga artist]. I'm certain.」
The Sword Emperor was speechless.
The pharmacist, who did not know the circumstances, tilted her head.
"I-is that so, Sect Master...? It just looks like little kids brawling to me..."
"Fuck. If it were visible to just any eyes, what difference would there be between a master and a novice? It's only visible to the eyes of someone like me."
「Good heavens. Just how many branches of derived combat paths are there? Those two are far above Sword Saint, that old man.」
「Just watching them makes me feel like I'm leveling up. When I get back, I'll have something to teach my disciples.」
Hm.
'Sword Emperor.'
-Yeah, zombie...
'There's that saying, isn't there? All rivers return to the sea, or something like that? There are multiple formulas for reaching the same answer... For Viper, that's just his way of viewing martial arts.'
-Yeah, thanks...
The bizarre scene of the Murim Alliance Master and the Heavenly Demon having a dogfight, the emperor of light novels attaining enlightenment while watching it, and above all, me comforting the Sword Emperor—fortunately, it did not last long.
"Achoo! Good grief, I'm freezing to death!"
The Medicine King suddenly shouted.
"Hey, you old farts! How long are you going to do nothing but brawl! Can't you see us standing right in front of you! Heh heh, that, that, that narrow field of vision of yours! You're exactly the same as when I was young, exactly the same!"
The old man's roar, which had even made the Sword Saint flinch, was profound beyond measure.
The Murim Alliance Master scratched the back of his head with an awkward face.
"Hm, we have guests who came all this way. Indeed, this is no way to treat them."
The Heavenly Demon also gave a dry cough.
"For now, I shall guide you to the cave where I reside."
4
Before long, the dark clouds cleared. There was no longer any need for me to light up the surroundings with Sparkle.
The zombies exposed to sunlight stiffened up like wood and stone once more, and we were able to safely make our way out of the snowfield.
"Huff. Huffff..."
"Hah, hah... huff...!"
However, the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Master—the two of them and their pitiful stamina became an obstacle.
The two of them were not ordinary martial artists but the heads of the Demonic Cult and the orthodox faction. They were supposed to be the people who displayed the greatest martial prowess in this world. The Sword Emperor and the Heavenly Martial Sect Master had even vouched for their martial prowess through different means.
And yet, somehow or other... the two of them had absolutely abysmal stamina.
They had merely walked a little through the snowfield, and they were already panting.
"Hm."
Unable to watch any longer, I casually spoke up.
"If you don't mind, shall I carry you on my back?"
"P-please do. For some reason, using my inner cultivation method is not going well today."
In the end, just like before, I carried the Heavenly Demon on my back, and Viper carried the Murim Alliance Master.
Viper spoke solemnly.
"Death King, that's not right."
"Pardon?"
"It should be like this."
Since I had carried the Heavenly Demon earlier, this time Viper carried the Heavenly Demon and I carried the Murim Alliance Master.
"No matter how you look at it, this is correct."
"Yes..."
I didn't have the energy to argue, so I agreed to do it that way.
That was when it happened.
'Huh?'
As I walked carrying the Murim Alliance Master on my back, I was seized by a strange feeling.
'That's odd.'
The guardian spirit tilted his head.
-What's odd?
'His body is warm.'
-Huh?
'...His body is incredibly warm. Do you know how cold the weather is right now? Even we would freeze to death if we didn't draw up our aura... This man, his body is warm.'
-...
The Sword Emperor was silent, his face lost in thought. I, too, fell into thought after him.
Was he protecting his body with aura—that is, internal energy—like we do? But hadn't I felt no internal energy whatsoever in the battle just now?
'What is it? The pieces don't fit.'
Something was strange.
But without being able to pinpoint exactly what was strange, we crossed the snowfield.
"This is my dwelling."
The place the Heavenly Demon guided us to was a cave not far from the snowfield.
A wide hole was open in the ceiling, and the glow of the sunset poured in brightly.
"Wow..."
The pharmacist's mouth fell open. Her eyes sparkled beyond her frosted glasses.
"Oh, it's a hot spring?"
There was an open-air bath in the cave.
A deep pond had pooled on the cave floor. Steam rose gently from the surface of the pond. The natural hot spring overcame the bitter cold of deep winter and warmly heated the surroundings. With the sunset above and the hot spring flowing below, it was truly a magnificent view.
"It is a secret place I discovered long ago."
The Heavenly Demon smiled with satisfaction.
"I never imagined I would welcome foreigners from beyond the frontier as guests. Wash up first. I shall go with this old relic and search for something to serve as food."
"Huh? Do we have anything to serve besides Fasting Pills?"
"That is why I said let us search, you old relic. Have your ears gone as old as the rest of you?"
"You're always singing 'old relic, old relic,' but when you actually think about it, there's barely any age difference between you and me!"
"If you're jealous, then undergo Reforging Bone and Replacing Marrow (換骨奪胎) too."
The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Master grumbled as they disappeared to the far side of the cave.
We remained by the hot spring and watched the two of them with strange expressions.
"I-it's fascinating. Just a moment ago, they were fighting like it was life or death..."
"Didn't they say they've been fighting for three years? There must be a certain affection that grows even while fighting."
The Medicine King grumbled.
"Still, it's warm and nice around here. Tsk. Ever since we came to this world, I've been holding hands with men nonstop, and it's been nothing short of embarrassing. Now keep your distance, Heavenly Martial Sect Master."
"Why is Sword Saint friends with a guy like this?"
"Now, now! Watch your mouth. I'm the one who did Marcus the favor of being his friend!"
"No, what the... Well, Sword Saint wasn't exactly a proper fellow either. Fuck, birds of a feather."
And so we entered the open-air bath and rested.
After we finished bathing, the two martial artists served us food.
"Hm, I'm embarrassed that we have nothing proper to serve."
"These are Fasting Pills. Help yourselves."
What the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance Master brought out were thick pellets. Pills.
In appearance, they resembled Heart-Clearing Pills, but the grains were a bit larger.
"In the old days, we could occasionally find game such as wolves, but these days, even beasts are rarely seen. Even I do not know how the world has come to this."
"No, thank you for your hospitality."
I politely accepted the plate. They said it had been three years since the world was destroyed. There was no way there would be any proper food.
Our party cautiously nibbled at the Fasting Pills.
"Ugh!"
"Ugh."
Viper and the Medicine King openly made faces like they were chewing shit. I, too, nearly frowned. How should I describe the taste? Like chewing raw, old coffee beans. It was absolutely not something that could be eaten enjoyably.
"Have you really been living on only these...?"
The pharmacist picked up a Fasting Pill and examined it from various angles as if amazed.
"That was mostly the case."
"F-for how long?"
"Hm."
The Heavenly Demon looked at the cave wall. Countless tally marks were carved into the wall. It seemed the two of them had marked the date with one stroke per day ever since they began living in seclusion in this cave.
"It has been roughly over two years since we survived on Fasting Pills alone."
"Two years..."
The pharmacist was speechless. They had lived for a full two years eating only these pellets.
The pharmacist groaned as if she couldn't make sense of it.
"Th-that's absurd. You couldn't possibly get proper nutrition that way. Without an appropriate balance of carbohydrates, fats, proteins, and things like vitamins and minerals, the human body..."
"Hmm? I do not understand what you are saying, but it is still bearable."
"I can't bear it!"
The Medicine King shouted.
Springing to his feet, the Medicine King rummaged through his subspace pouch and pulled something out. It was a burner, meat, seafood, and the like.
"Out of the way, you lot! Tsk tsk. No wonder you don't have the energy to cross a snowfield when you scavenge and eat crap like this. Not taking care of your bodies—you're exactly the same as when I was young. Is there water?"
"Uh, well, for water, we melt snow and drink it, or when the sun comes out for several days in a row, there's mineral water flowing in there..."
"I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy. The human body is 70% water, and you're drinking that kind of water, so of course you're hopeless. You have to drink water that knows the answer. Tsk."
The Medicine King lit the burner and poured bottled water into a pot.
The pharmacist was startled when she saw the bottled water.
"Th-that's Bling H2O, isn't it? That expensive stuff..."
"What's expensive about this! It's just right for cooking, so I use it casually. Tsk. When I was outside the Tower, it was water I wouldn't even glance at. Tsk tsk. Anyway, if it weren't for that bastard Marcus..."
At the sudden cooking scene, the Sword Emperor tilted his head.
-Zombie. What's Bling H2O?
'I'm not sure? I guess it's like Evian.'
-What's Evian? Is it like Gongcheong oil?
'What's Gongcheong oil?'
-There's this insanely expensive water.
Then I guess it's similar.