Chapter 49. How to Deal with the World (3)
Chapter 49. How to Deal with the World (3)
"L-Light......?"
The temple's Paladin stammered.
The white light that had been blazing brilliantly from the gem had subsided somewhat.
Now it was at a level where you didn't have to close your eyes.
"A person being light—what does that even mean?"
"I told you... this person is simply... simply light......."
The lizardman mage was on the verge of tears.
I wasn't very confident in my ability to read lizardman expressions, but at least right now I could tell. The mage was moved. Tears like dawn dew were welling up in her slit snake eyes.
"Can you not recognize this radiant soul......?"
"I-I'm afraid I don't."
"Why don't you? Is there something wrong with your eyeballs? Or is there something wrong with your head......?"
The Paladin Captain wore an awkward expression. He had suddenly found his intelligence called into question.
"No, I mean, I simply don't understand what you mean by light."
"Ahh."
The lizardman mage sniffled.
Then she whipped around to face the Paladin Captain.
"This is why you temple blockhead bastards are the way you are......!"
"Wha—what?"
"This person, right? Is light! He's really, completely light, so why can't you see it? Do you not have eyes? Do you not have a brain? A white... not just any light, but a white light!"
"I-Isn't light naturally white?"
"Ahh, this is exactly it! This is why you can't talk to lowly humans!"
The lizardman mage pounded her chest as if irritated. Thump, thump. If her irritation grew just a little more, she looked ready to smack not her own chest but the other person's skull. The Paladin Captain must have sensed it too, because he quietly shut his mouth.
"There is no way someone with a soul like this would lie to us!"
The lizardman mage's voice rose to a shout.
"Even if he did lie, it would all be for our sake! You foolish humans. Those of you with corrupted souls like yours need only quietly obey this person's words. This person is surely the heir of the First Emperor—no, the apostle of the Goddess!"
The lizardman mage looked at me.
Her eyes seemed to be seeking agreement with her words.
It wasn't just the mage. The entire army gathered on the acacia forest path was holding its breath and staring at me.
"Hm."
I confidently crossed my arms.
"Indeed."
While putting on the most solemn expression I could manage.
"I am, precisely, the apostle of the Goddess."
"I knew it!"
A murmur went through the crowd.
The soldiers buzzed. Following the Empire's general, even the mage of Mermaid Falls had vouched for my identity. Three men make a tiger. Even a tiger that doesn't exist will be believed to exist if three people say it's there.
"They say that person is light."
"What's light?"
"Well, he did shine. His sword was flashing and everything......."
"They say it's the sword used by the Emperor of Aegim or something."
"Then he must be from some noble family."
The majority of soldiers had been skeptical when they saw the Holy Sword of Protection. Now their eyes had shifted to "Could it be?"
Of course, to complete the three-men-make-a-tiger effect, I still needed one more person.
"No! I still don't understand!"
The Paladin Captain stepped forward.
"Let us say you are the heir of the First Emperor, and that you are light! But why has that young man... no, why has that person come here in person to block our path! Have you all forgotten? We have our mission!"
The Paladin Captain forcefully pointed past my shoulder.
"We must burn that place down!"
Estelle's hometown.
The place Agwi had called paradise was there.
"His Holiness the Pope was not concerned only with the witch. The heretics who follow the witch! They too cannot escape divine punishment! If you are truly... an apostle of the Goddess, then you above all should take the lead in carrying out divine punishment!"
"......."
Grip. Someone behind me grabbed the hem of my clothes. It was Agwi. Even without turning around, I could clearly see that Agwi was terrified.
'It's fine.'
I stood calmly with my arms crossed.
'The best bullshit is made of 90% truth and 10% lies!'
Recalling the advice the guardian spirit had given me, I slowly opened my mouth.
"Paladin of the temple, watch your words. It is not for you to decide how divine punishment should be carried out. What punishment should be dealt to a wicked group—that is entirely my decision."
"What......?"
"I have already gathered up all evil, and divine punishment has already been carried out."
I spoke in a low voice.
"Carrying out divine punishment in the mortal world is my karma."
"Uh, karma......?"
"I will show you."
I raised my right hand.
Writhe.
In an instant, my shadow spread across the acacia forest path.
-Grooooar!
Skeletons began crawling out of the shadow.
The soldiers screamed. The Paladin Captain's face went pale, and the other commanders also drew their weapons in shock. Even as they did, the skeletons multiplied from dozens to hundreds, from hundreds to thousands.
Before long, the continent's army was completely surrounded.
Hundred Ghost Reincarnation.
Four thousand skeletons came back to life.
-Grooooar!
-Uwooo! Uwoooo!
The monsters howled ferociously, waiting only for my command.
As you could tell from the fact that Agwi was out with me, I still had Hundred Ghost Reincarnation in use mode. I could summon the hundred ghosts as much as I wanted.
But to the continentals who didn't know the circumstances, it must have looked different.
"D-Demons!"
The soldiers were thrown into utter panic at the sight unfolding before their eyes. Monsters numbering four thousand had suddenly burst out. And from the ground, as if escaping from hell itself.
It was literally a painting of hell.
"G-God above."
The Paladin Captain trembled violently.
"What in the world are these dreadful things......?"
"They are my karma."
I placed my hand on Agwi's head.
Agwi flinched but said nothing.
"Look. In this wide world, how could the witch be the only evil existence? Each and every one of these is a wicked person I have gathered up, a demon comparable to the witch."
"A-All of these monsters......?"
"That is so."
I narrowed my eyes and gazed at the distant sky.
Like a hero caught in a tragic fate.
"The Goddess commanded me. In her stead, subjugate the evil overflowing upon the earth! Subjugate it and gather it up! And so she bestowed this ability upon me."
My voice naturally grew solemn.
"Subjugating all the evil in the world is my mission. Gathering demons into hell is my karma. You are now looking upon my hell."
"Good heavens......."
The lizardman mage sighed.
Tears were overflowing from her eyes again.
"All of these are wicked people comparable to the witch......?"
I nodded.
"That is so."
"W-While we were unaware... the apostle of the Goddess was, alone, by himself, punishing the evil rampant in this world......?"
"That is so."
"Good lord. No one even recognizes you, Apostle... how could you have built such a hell. How could you, a mere human, do this alone....... Apostle of the Goddess, are you all right......?"
"Hm."
I nodded with my arms still crossed.
"This is my karma!"
Solemnly, gravely, and sincerely.
"You have no need to punish the witch separately. Nor do you need to punish the witch's underlings. I have already collected all the wicked. These ones shall groan and suffer eternally beneath my shadow. I am their hell!"
"Ahh... O light......!"
The lizardman mage collapsed weakly.
"Now this foolish one finally understands why you shone with such white light! In places we did not know, Apostle, you have ceaselessly been saving our continent!"
I nodded again.
"Truly so!"
For the best bullshit is made of 90% truth and 10% lies.
Although the process was riddled with lies, the conclusion alone was correct.
As long as the conclusion is right, does the rest really matter?
-This little shit.......
The guardian spirit wore a proud expression.
-There is nothing left for me to teach you! Descend from the mountain!
'Oh, but everything is thanks to Master's advice. How could this unworthy disciple descend from the mountain?'
-No, zombie. Your bastardry has long since surpassed my bastardry.......
The guardian spirit lamented, ahh.
-This master is as pure as a child and simply cannot handle a son of a bitch like you.......
'How humble of you. I still have much to learn from Master's wicked character. Please withdraw your words.'
-You brat, have you ever heard the saying that the student surpasses the master?
'Have you ever heard the saying that there is no student better than his master?'
Student and master praised each other's characters.
In this day and age when human relationships have grown cold.
A truly beautiful and affectionate master-disciple relationship existed right here.
"...Anyway."
I withdrew Hundred Ghost Reincarnation.
Slither.
The skeletons that had numbered four thousand quickly vanished. The continentals stared dumbfounded at the sight of the monsters sinking beneath the shadow like ships going down.
"Do not worry about the witch and her underlings. As long as I exist, they shall be trapped in my hell forever and suffer. This is the will of the Goddess, and this is the divine punishment of the Goddess."
"......."
"Surely you do not intend to defy the solemn will of the Goddess."
The Paladin Captain fidgeted.
"I-I would not dare... Apostle. Are these cruel demons truly secure? That is to say, this humble one means... if these demons were to break out into the world, the harm would be beyond words......."
"I see."
I nodded slowly.
"So you wish to confirm for yourself that I am indeed keeping these demons securely."
"I-I am ashamed to say, but that is so......."
"Very well."
Snap!
I snapped my fingers.
Then one skeleton whose summoning had not yet been released approached. The skeleton stood tall between the Paladin Captain and me.
The Paladin Captain flinched and retreated two or three steps.
"A-Apostle. Why is this skeleton......?"
"I will properly resolve your doubts."
I patted the skeleton's shoulder.
"Hundred Ghost, recover your memories."
Writhe!
Filthy water rose from the skeleton's shadow. The filthy water that climbed up the pure-white bones took shape as it went. It formed muscle. It formed flesh. It formed clothes.
After I blinked once, what stood there was not a pile of bones but a handsome man.
"Kraaaah! Wha—what the hell, fuck!"
He was a handsome man with a foul mouth.
"What the... ugh, hey, you son of a bitch! What grudge do you have against me to turn me into this state! What the hell did I do!"
Eyes blazing with fury.
That's right.
I had returned the memories of Flame Emperor 'Yoo Soo-ha'.
"You crazy bastard! You goddamn bastard! I'll kill you! A piece of shit like you, daring to—no matter what, I'll definitely beat you to death!"
"As you can see."
I placed my hand on Yoo Soo-ha's shoulder and turned to the commanders. Yoo Soo-ha thrashed his limbs and struggled, but it was useless. No matter what he did, it was impossible for him to defy me, his 'master'.
"This man is also a wicked person comparable to the witch."
I put on a lonely expression.
"No, one could say he is a demon even more cruel and atrocious than the witch. The witch was born a monster from the start, but this man was born human and yet committed horrifying evil deeds. Burning anything that stood in his way......."
"I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"
There was no particular need to explain.
"You...! Hey! I'll tear you apart...!"
Profanity flooded the acacia forest path. The hundred ghost 'Yoo Soo-ha' opened his mouth and poured out every curse that existed in this world.
The more the profanity flowed, the paler the commanders' faces grew. In less than 60 seconds, Yoo Soo-ha had described no fewer than 15 different methods of killing me. It was impressive.
"No, fuck, and what the hell are these things! Hey, lizard! Pointy-ears! What are you staring at! Do you all want to die by my hand, you just......."
After another 60 seconds, the curses spread not just to me but to everyone present. A little longer, and they spread to the parents and families of everyone present. As a bonus, roughly 10 more methods of killing a person were added.
"W-What hideousness......! What darkness......!"
The lizardman mage was appalled.
"There's no need to even use the gem of the current king. That man, he truly possesses the soul of a demon!"
"Indeed......."
The elf ranger captain groaned.
"I have lived long and seen many foolish humans... but it has been a long time since I have seen a human this ugly and wicked......."
Ohh.
Rejoice, Yoo Soo-ha.
At last, your greatness is being recognized even in another world.
-Zombie, isn't this defiling the dead?
'Yep.'
-Isn't it a bit much?
'Yoo Soo-ha deserves a bit of this. Besides, Sword Emperor sir. You called me the Zombie King. What's so strange about the Zombie King putting a zombie-like bastard to work?'
-Hmm.
The guardian spirit nodded deeply.
-Now that I hear it, you're right. I cannot refute it logically.......
'Right?'
-Your bastardry really has far surpassed mine, zombie.
That was merely a minority opinion.
Snap!
I snapped my fingers once more.
"Dance."
"Wha—you—what......."
The moment my command fell, Yoo Soo-ha began tap dancing. Yoo Soo-ha's heels skipped lightly over the blooming flower path. Tap, tap-tap! Perhaps he had done some clubbing back in the day, because Yoo Soo-ha's dancing was actually quite decent.
"No, this is—w-wait! What the—sh......."
"Dance again."
Snap!
Yoo Soo-ha's dancing changed from tap dance to jitterbug. Fortunately or unfortunately, Yoo Soo-ha had a talent for dance. After finishing the jitterbug, he immediately launched into a Cossack dance.
"I'll kill you!"
Yoo Soo-ha howled while doing the Cossack dance.
"I-I'll kill you! You bastard! You—you! You! I'll really! I'll definitely!"
I repeat, he was doing the Cossack dance.
As you'd know if you saw it in person, no matter how thick the profanity or how terrible the curse, it is not frightening at all when delivered while doing the Cossack dance.
Even if Hitler were resurrected and began a speech, if he were doing the Cossack dance, no one would take his speech seriously.
That is the power of the Cossack dance.
"Fu—fuck......! Fuck, fuck......!"
Indeed, Yoo Soo-ha must have felt the might of the Cossack dance himself.
Realizing that nothing he said was landing, Yoo Soo-ha simply spat out the word fuck. And diligently stepped through his dance moves.
It was a killer background music and background screen.
"Hm."
I turned to the Paladin Captain.
"Are you still worried?"
"......."
The Paladin Captain's mouth hung open blankly.
"The demons can never defy my commands. Rest assured."
In the end.
The Paladin Captain slowly knelt.
"Apostle of the Goddess... may I ask your name......?"
A trembling voice.
The entire army of the continent was looking at me.
I boldly met their gazes and crossed my arms once more.
"My name is Gong-ja."
The Paladin Captain bowed his head.
"I shall follow the words of Lord Gong-ja......!"
The commander who had been shouting to burn the village until the very end had given up on the attack.
Then.
[Congratulations.]
A welcome voice rang out.
[Normal Stage cleared.]
[Hidden Quest, 'Hero of the Frozen World', cleared!]
A not-so-welcome voice also rang out.
-You, you crazy bastard!
The owner of the voice was rolling around clutching his belly.
-You lunatic! You're probably the first person to ever clear a quest like this! No, you are the first! Wow, where did a lunatic like you crawl out from? Hey, I acknowledge it! Kim Gong-ja!
'Acknowledge what?'
-You are... the light of all lunatics!
That was a minority opinion.