Chapter 14. You Have a Skill Too? (2)
Chapter 14. You Have a Skill Too? (2)
Regardless of what the ghost was yammering about, the voice informed me.
[Please select a skill card.]
That this was unmistakably reality!
The two brass-colored cards began flying around rapidly. Whisk. Whisk. The cards darted about frantically, but what truly made my mind go blank was something else entirely.
-Oh, come on. What kind of bullshit cheat is this! Being able to copy even the skills monsters have is way too much. Hey, who's the bastard running this Tower! Why didn't you give a skill like this to a hunter with a full grasp of common sense like me, and instead gave it to this pathetic loser!
'Ah, please just be quiet.'
-Come out! This is invalid. Ugh, I'm so pissed off, seriously!
The guardian spirit raged, flailing its arms and legs. How should I put it... it was just ugly. It was no different from a little kid throwing a tantrum because they weren't given candy. It was ugly to the point where I wondered if an adult was allowed to be this ugly.
'Good grief, I should just focus on the cards.'
I examined the two brass-colored cards flying through the air.
'Either way, they're shit-colored cards, so they're probably not good skills...'
Even so, my heart was genuinely pounding. My god, a monster's skill. The fact that I could share the same skill as a monster! It somehow felt like I was doing something secretive, like pulling a bad prank.
'I'm curious.'
I slowly reached out my hand.
'Let's just pick anything for now!'
It was the moment I was about to grab literally any card.
-Huh? What the. You're gonna pick that?
The ghost couldn't hold back and butted in again. The boyish excitement that had made my heart pound quickly cooled. Honestly. Its talent for ruining the moment was truly remarkable.
'Yes, it doesn't matter what I pick anyway.'
-Why wouldn't it matter?
The guardian spirit was looking over at me from beyond the cards.
-Since you're set to suck up the honey anyway, you might as well draw the better skill if you're going to.
'That's the thing, I can't tell which card has the better skill. They're both shit-colored. This is just a game of luck.'
-Huh? Why can't you tell which one's the better skill?
'Ah, seriously. You're not hearing me today.'
I shouted out of frustration.
'The card colors are the same! I can only see the backs! There's no way to tell them apart, so how am I supposed to figure out which one has the better skill?'
At that, the guardian spirit tilted its head.
-I can see it though?
'What?'
-I can see the front of the cards.
The guardian spirit said with a shameless face. I was dumbfounded.
'That's... that doesn't even make sense...'
I was about to retort, "Sense?", but I realized midway.
Position!
From my position, I could only see the backs of the cards. Because no matter where I turned my gaze, the cards moved along with it. Just as one cannot see the far side of the moon from Earth, I could never know what was written on the other side of the cards.
But that was only my story.
The guardian spirit moved freely through this dark space.
Right.
It could naturally fly to a position where the other side of the cards was clearly visible!
'Good lord...'
I muttered.
'You can see it from there? You can really see the card descriptions?'
The guardian spirit furrowed its brows.
-Of course I can see it. What do you take my eyes for, saying something like that? I've been famous for my dynamic visual acuity since I was little. There was this kid in my neighborhood named Dogshit, and he shot a popgun at me? Well, by the time I was five, my eyes were already good enough to dodge a popgun, I'm telling you. Eventually I even mastered clairvoyance. Heh, I'm just that impressive...
'Eureka!'
-Whoa, holy shit! Did this kid suddenly go crazy! Why are you yelling?
The guardian spirit was startled, but I didn't care.
'Eureka! Eureka! Eureeekaaa!'
I was simply rejoicing at the luck that had come to me.
The guardian spirit stared at me with a strange look, then clicked its tongue quietly.
-They called this kid a zombie, and now his brain's really gone rotten like a zombie too. Tsk tsk tsk...
2
The identities of the cards that the guardian spirit revealed were as follows.
+
[Blessing of Proliferation]
Rank: E
Effect: Ah, nature grants us a home, but at the same time sends down hardship! In this harsh world, the orc race overcame nature by maximizing their fertility. One orc got caught and killed, you say? Don't worry. There are still nine more in places you haven't seen!
※However, you will suffer from year-round mating season.
[Snort, Snrk]
Rank: F
Effect: 'We add snort to the end of every sentence, snort. We don't know why we do it either, snrk! But you should try a bowl of snort too, snrk.' The orc gives a thumbs-up. 'Then you'll never be able to escape the fun of snrk-snrking, snort!'
※However, snort snrk.
+
'Wow...'
Indeed, shit-colored cards.
They were all completely insane shit-skills. It was hard to hold back my admiration.
-How about it? If I hadn't stopped you, you almost picked [Snort, Snrk]. Gong-ja, you were born a man, after all. You should have orc-like strength at least once. Now hurry up and thank me. Come on! Hurry!
The nonsense the ghost was spouting was also hard to hold back my admiration for. In other words, it was insane to the point where it was hard to hold back my admiration.
'Hmm.'
I ignored the guardian spirit and quietly deliberated.
'If I had to choose between these, [Snort, Snrk] seems better.'
-Huh? Are you crazy?
'No, I'm right.'
I nodded. I was certain.
'No matter how I look at it, [Snort, Snrk] is far more useful than [Blessing of Proliferation].'
-Hey, hey! Wait! Think about it a little more. Think calmly and...!
Pfft.
I sneered as I watched the guardian spirit fluster about.
'You seem to be thinking the same thing as me.'
Before the guardian spirit could stop me further, I quickly snatched the shit-colored card. The cards were flying around fast, but it wasn't a big problem. If multiple cards were moving at once, that would be one thing, but there were only two right now.
[Selection complete. Copying skill.]
[Regressing 24 hours into the past.]
-Ah, no!
'Yes!'
The guardian spirit's and my shouts rang out like a duet.
[Your current hunter rank is F-rank.]
[No penalty from the skill occurs.]
At the same time, the dark world brightened.
* * *
Flash. I opened my eyes.
"Hm!"
My head felt clear.
"Ah, nice. People really do recover from fatigue quickly when they sleep comfortably."
This place was no longer the 70-square-foot closet room. It was the lodging I had arranged separately by asking the Merchant Alliance. It wasn't spacious, but it was a hotel room plenty big enough for one person to stay in. After winning the first-prize lottery ticket, I had decided to stay here for the time being.
Meanwhile.
-Damn it! I knew you'd fall for it, but you've got nothing but useless cunning!
"Heh heh."
The guardian spirit floated up and kicked at the empty air. It seemed quite upset that it hadn't managed to make a fool of me. Mm. Just watching it calmed my heart, as beautiful as a landscape painting.
"Alright, let me pack the elixir again... Status window."
There was no reason to waste time here. I checked my status window as I headed toward the hunting ground.
+
Name: Kim Gong-ja
Rank: F-rank
Skills (4/4)
1. I Want to Be Like You (S+): Passive
2. Regressor's Clockwork Watch (EX): Passive
3. Sword Constellation (A+): Passive
4. Snort, Snrk (F): Active
+
"Good. No problems."
My skill slots were full. But that was fine. Even when the time came to get a new skill, I could just overwrite the slot where [Snort, Snrk] was.
I'll use you to my heart's content until I get the next skill.
-Gong-ja, I've been thinking... I think it'd be fine to just sit quietly in lotus position and train. There's no need to train by dying and hurting your body for no reason, right? Lotus position. Mental cultivation. How cool is that?
"Hoo."
Arrived at the 3rd-floor hunting ground.
In the distance, orcs were wandering around.
-Grrr... snrk.
I took out the elixir while keeping an eye on the orcs' positions. A piping-hot thermos. I downed the elixir I had brought in it in one shot.
-Hey, Gong-ja? Can you not hear me? Let's train quietly, okay? Even if you train in lotus position, I'll have you master aura within half a year. There's no high or low in training methods, right? Just trust me.
"Heh! Tastes great."
This was my second time drinking it, but I already felt like I was developing a taste for it. The pharmacist had clearly put thought into the flavor when making the elixir.
I spoke while waiting for the medicine's effects to rise.
"Mister Sword Emperor, you know what?"
-Huh? What? You gonna do lotus position?
"You call me a zombie when it's advantageous for you, but you call me Gong-ja when it's not. And just now, you called me Gong-ja, not zombie."
Thump.
"I'm kindly letting you know so you can fix that habit."
The moment my words ended, the world before my eyes began to flow slowly.
My heart pounded. Along with my pounding heart, I felt the faint flow again.
Aura!
The training method devised by the guardian spirit definitely had an effect. Unlike the last cycle, this time I immediately grasped the aura clearly.
"Hoo, ooh... hoooo..."
I steadied my breathing and approached. Flinch. Sensing my presence, the orc's ears twitched. The massive green monster slowly turned around.
-Grruk?
The orc's eyes widened. From that thing's perspective, it had every reason to be bewildered. Some prey was stomping toward it on its own two feet, after all.
-Grrrrr!
The orc, perhaps deciding to humbly accept this fortune, raised its club high.
That was the moment I smiled inwardly.
[Activating skill.]
I opened my mouth.
"Sn... ort! Snrk...!"
Freeze. The orc's eyes grew even wider than before. The club that had been slicing through the air stopped midway.
-Snrrk... snort? Sn... ort?
The orc tilted its head. It seemed to be pondering how on earth to process the fact that mere prey had mastered the language of its own kind.
Of course, given the limits of orc IQ, understanding the current situation was impossible, and my IQ was not so lacking that I would miss a golden opportunity.
"Snort!"
Perfect orcish flowed from my mouth.
Orcish skill that truly rivaled a native speaker's!
-Grru? Sn... rrk?
The monster before me grew even more flustered. I could clearly see it was confused, not knowing what to do. In the end, even when I charged at it, the orc couldn't put up any real resistance.
Slash!
My sword smoothly split the orc's throat. I let exactly one drop of aura flow to the tip of my blade—not too much, but not too little either. Thud! A fountain of blood burst out as the orc's massive body collapsed.
-Sn... rrk...? Grr... snrk...
Snrk-snrking as if something was unfair.
If translated into human speech, it was probably a dying scream like "Et tu, Brute!"
"Snrrk."
I smiled in victory. My body ached from forcibly drawing out aura, but... my condition was incomparably better than the last cycle. It was fine. As long as I only consumed this much aura, there was no particular problem.
-You dirty bastard! I knew you'd pull this!
The guardian spirit trembled with rage.
-Does it make you happy to trick innocent orcs like that! Huh? You don't even think about how the orcs feel, what's in their hearts, do you? It's because of filthy humans like you that the pure orcs of this world suffer!
I didn't retort, "Didn't you say there's no high or low in training methods?"
Instead, I simply returned a single word of mockery.
"Snort!"
-Aaaargh! I'm angry! So annoyed! Why did you give a scam skill to this slippery little shit, Tower!
When a week had passed.
I had broken through to the 5th-floor hunting ground.