The Fall of My Brightest Star
My little sister, Hayeon’s perspective.
Back then, my older sister was like a warm sun. She’d stand at the center of any group of kids, happily chattering away about stories she’d somehow picked up from who-knows-where. If there was a child who couldn’t quite fit in, she was always the first to walk over and offer her hand. On top of that, she seemed completely fearless no matter what she did. She’d even charge straight at older kids or adults who were bullying her friends. And yet she could still tell right from wrong. If any of the children started heading down a bad path, she’d scold them sharply. To top it all off, she maintained an overwhelming first place in the entire school with perfect scores throughout elementary school. She never threw tantrums or acted spoiled, always carrying herself with calm composure. Even the teachers trusted her like a little adult.
She wasn’t particularly tall compared to her peers, but maybe it was because of her promising looks and that bright, sunny smile she wore everywhere. All the other kids called her their tiny captain.
“Hayeon, there you are! Let’s go!”
“Okay…”
Especially since I was incredibly timid before I started elementary school. Whenever I couldn’t join in and ended up alone, my sister would come over, take my hand, and pull me along. The smile she’d flash while looking back at me, her fingers gripping mine so I wouldn’t slip away, was so dazzling…
In my childhood, my only idol wasn’t my parents or any celebrity. It was solely my sister. At least until she entered middle school.
“Ugh, why don’t I grow at all even though I drink milk every day…”
“Sister, is something wrong?”
“Huh? No, it’s nothing… But Hayeon. You… you’ve gotten a bit taller, haven’t you?”
“Really? I guess drinking milk together helped.”
“Tch. I’m so jealous…”
Seolhwa unnie was noticeably slower to grow than the other kids her age. While everyone else shot up quickly, she stayed stuck around the 130s centimeter mark. Even in the upper grades of elementary school she was still a shorty who always ended up at the very front of the line. Looking back now, I think all the nutrition meant for her height went to her chest instead. But at the time, the fact that even I had started looking down at her must have bothered her.
The sister who used to smile brightly all the time gradually stopped beaming so often.
“Ah… I lost first place…”
It happened during the first midterm exam of middle school, when her dissatisfaction had been building up. My sister, who had never once dropped the top spot in the entire school, lost the number one rank for the first time. The questions she got wrong were history ones, her weakest subject, and she still placed third overall—an incredible result. But for someone who had always been several steps ahead of everyone else, it must have been unbearable. I didn’t see it myself, but apparently that was when she started saying harsh things to people at school.
Maybe all that pent-up frustration finally exploded when she got into a huge fight with one of her middle school friends. One day she came home looking like a rain-soaked puppy and immediately shut herself in her room.
“Sister, are you okay? Mom’s worried…”
“Shut up! Stop bothering me and go away!”
“Sister…”
It was like watching an angel with broken wings—a hideous fall from grace for someone who had once shone brighter than anyone. No matter how kindly I spoke to her, she wouldn’t respond properly. Since I still didn’t want to give up on her, sharp words started slipping out of my mouth on their own.
“Idiot sister. Stop blocking the way and move.”
“…Sorry.”
“Hey, they said come eat.”
“You shouldn’t call me ‘hey’… Call me sister…”
“Tsk. Fine…”
I still liked her so much. Every time I said something cutting, the hurt look in her eyes made my chest ache a little. Still, I told myself that if it was her, she’d definitely bounce back soon. I held onto that hope and watched over her for several months, but there was no sign of her overcoming the pain and moving forward.
One winter, when my sister had become so broken that it was hard to even remember what she used to be like, I suddenly wanted to see her face. Using my notebook as an excuse, I went into her room without warning—and there she was, standing in front of the mirror with a determined expression I hadn’t seen in a long time.
“Sister, have you seen my notebook…? Huh? What are you doing? Why are you holding scissors?”
“Ah, p-perfect timing. H-Hayeon, can you help me?”
I don’t know what kind of wind suddenly blew through her. After spending all of middle school curled up in her shell, it seemed my sister had finally decided she wanted to change. She just didn’t know how to do it alone, so she asked me for help. There was no way I could refuse.
If that’s the case… I suppose it’d be okay to add just a tiny bit of my own taste.
First I took her to my favorite hair salon and had them neatly trim the messy hair she’d let grow out. Then I carefully chose clothes and makeup to give her a deliberately cool, unapproachable aura. After all, the current version of my sister took after our soft, gentle mom more than our prickly dad. If I made her look too easy to approach, she’d probably get flustered and fall for the first person who hit on her. So I decided to give her sharp thorns so suspicious people couldn’t get close.
“It’s better if you act a bit cold and standoffish outside. If you talk like you do at home, people will think it’s weird.”
“R-really…? Hayeon, did you think I was weird before?”
“No, I’m just used to it because I see you every day at home.”
“That means you did think I was weird!”
Of course, since my sister was naturally quite dense, she didn’t seem to notice my true intentions at all. Well… after a few conversations it would probably become obvious she was a total amateur, so I figured there wouldn’t be any big problems.
Besides that, we ran together every morning to correct her posture, which had become hunched from the weight of her chest. I also dragged her to a karaoke room and forced her to sing even though her voice lacked power. People can’t change overnight, but thanks to her nonstop effort throughout winter break, my sister managed to recover at least some of her old coolness. She no longer seemed like the same person from her middle school days.
“This is… me. Hayeon, thank you…”
“Hmph. Whatever. Just make lots of friends in high school and buy me food later or something.”
“Okay! Just say the word! Your big sister will do anything for you!”
Maybe it was because it felt like my childhood idol had come back. I didn’t show it, but I was incredibly proud of the way my sister had changed. After all this, you have to succeed, sister. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I quietly covered my smiling lips with my hand.
*
It was the final winter break practice for the badminton club, aimed at the tournament coming up in March. I must have been smiling without realizing it, because my annoying friend came over.
“Oho~ Hayeon, what are you doing hiding in the corner? Secretly texting your boyfriend?”
“What boyfriend? I don’t have anyone like that.”
“Ehhh? But you had the face of a girl totally in love just now!”
“Who are you calling a girl in love?”
I’d been chatting with my sister, and this girl just had to interrupt. Not wanting to tell her about my sister, I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Then, as if venting my irritation, I picked up the badminton racket I’d set down for a moment and immediately challenged the friend who had ruined my nice time. She panicked and tried to run away saying she just remembered something, but I dragged her onto the court and absolutely demolished her. Even if I don’t look it, I’m good enough to aim for a medal in singles. For an ordinary middle schooler’s hobby level, it must have been impossible to keep up.
“You monster! Stop bullying civilians!”
“Hmph. Want me to show you what real bullying looks like?”
“Uwaaaaaah! I’m sorry!”
Paang!Shweeeek!
Even while deliberately hitting the shuttlecock so it would barely graze her body, my sister’s face from the message we’d just exchanged kept floating through my mind. Come to think of it, the high school my sister was going to didn’t have a badminton club. Maybe it would be better to quit after graduating middle school… That thought suddenly crossed my mind.
But it seemed fate had turned its back on her. On the very day of the entrance ceremony, my sister came down with a terrible case of the flu and ended up missing two whole weeks of school. The first day she finally attended, I came home early because I was worried about her. I was in my room changing when I heard the front door slam shut with a loud thud, followed by my sister’s loud cry from the living room.
“Uwaaaaaah! What am I supposed to do nowwwww!”
Yeah, sister. What are you going to do?
I had been about to go outside, but the voice coming from the living room made my hand freeze mid-motion. Even without seeing her face, I could clearly tell she was crying. She probably hadn’t been able to show off any of the effort she’d put in. I took a deep breath to steady my emotions, then opened the door with an annoyed expression and stepped into the living room.
“So noisy… What are you doing in the living room, sister?”
“Hieek! Y-you… you were home?! What about your club…?”
“The gym is under construction so we have the day off. That’s why I came back early… What’s wrong? Have you been crying?”
“N-no? I definitely wasn’t crying!”
Her eyes were red and swollen, her tie and skirt were disheveled, and the way she was biting her lip made it obvious to anyone that she had been crying. But maybe she didn’t want to show weakness. Sitting on the sofa, my sister quickly wiped her eyes with her palm and turned her head away with a huff.
She’s kind of cute like this…
Was failing to make friends really that upsetting? Today my sister looked several times more fragile than usual. If I walked over right now and silently pulled her into a tight hug, I wondered what kind of reaction she’d have. She clearly wasn’t interested in that sort of thing, but for some reason it stirred up my sadistic side.
However, after sniffling and holding back her tears for a moment, my sister suddenly jumped up from the sofa. She grabbed the bag that had been lying on the floor and shouted as if fleeing.
“I-I’m going to my room!”
“Uh… sure, go ahead.”
I wanted to sit next to her and comfort her, but I couldn’t stop my sister from running off to her room. Why did I always end up acting so prickly when I could have just said I was worried? I let out a sigh at my own dishonest personality that even I could recognize. Somehow I didn’t feel like going back to my room, so I sat down on the sofa my sister had just left and stared blankly out the window.
Then, without warning, I made eye contact with my sister as she came out of her room wearing only her underwear.
“…What are you doing dressed like that? Aren’t you embarrassed?”
“What’s the big deal! We’re family…”
“Heh…”
So showing herself to me doesn’t matter, huh. Of course that makes sense… but for some reason it didn’t sit well with me. So I gave her butt a light smack with my palm as she walked past. I didn’t really think about it; I just wanted to vent a little.
“Hieek! Why, why did you hit me?!”
“Just because. Your butt was right there, so I did it without thinking.”
“Could you please stop treating other people’s butts like stress-relief toys?!”
But the sight of her right after made me realize I had made a mistake. Her skin was pure white without a single blemish, like soft serve ice cream. The jet-black underwear created a stark contrast that only emphasized it more. And on top of that, my sister’s chest was unbelievably large for someone who had just become a high schooler. The way she was rubbing her butt with slightly teary eyes from the sting was far too sensual.
She has zero awareness of how she looks to other people. I have to do something about this…
No matter how much she’s my sister, there are things she shouldn’t show anyone. What if she gets completely taken in by some black-hearted person? For example, if someone who only saw her as a toy made her beg pathetically, saying she’d be fine even if it was fake as long as she could be loved…
Ah, I hate that.
Huh? What’s this? I haven’t eaten much, but my stomach suddenly feels…
For some reason I felt like throwing up. Fortunately, my sister seemed busy with something. She quickly disappeared into her room and out of my sight. The nauseating sensation that had risen to my throat slowly subsided, but a small thorn remained lodged in my chest, irritating my nerves.
“…Must be my imagination.”
The quiet murmur I hadn’t even realized I’d spoken aloud melted into the air and scattered away where no one could hear it.