The Trap I Set for Serin (4)
I knew something was off about how I was trying to make Serin fall for me.
The collab stream I’d planned after agonizing over how to keep her from quitting VTubing had one clear purpose: to make her sing. Even before I heard the full story of her trauma from So-hui, I’d vaguely sensed that singing was at the root of why she wanted to quit. The problem was that someone who loved singing as much as she did would freeze up in fear. So I figured that if I could create a situation where she had no choice but to sing, maybe she could shake off that trauma.
The revealing Snow cosplay outfit that left too much skin exposed and made me embarrassed. This real-life collab stream where we could reach out and touch each other at any moment. Even the dangerously suggestive broadcast content that pushed the limits until my head spun. All of it was a trap I’d prepared to corner her so she couldn’t escape.
Ah, maybe I went a little too far.
But now, with everything unfolding exactly as planned and reaching its climax, I found myself thinking that as I held the card in my hand. The reason was simple. The look on Serin’s face after reading the card was one I had never seen before. It was the face of someone who looked like they’d had a knife driven into their heart—utterly, unbelievably terrified.
Maybe that was why. Even though she was close enough to touch if I just reached out, the distance between us felt impossibly vast.
Still, as I stared blankly at her face, I quickly pulled myself together. The rapidly scrolling chat at the edge of my vision snapped me back to reality.
We’re still live… Get it together, Ryu Seolhwa!
If the silence dragged on too long, the viewers would start to worry. But it had only been about five seconds. I could still recover.
I forced my drifting consciousness back into Snow mode, then turned my head away as if fleeing and raised my voice into the mic.
“Sorry about that, everyone. I had no idea a card like this was in there, so I didn’t prepare an MR track. It’s a penalty, so I can’t exactly skip it… We’ve been running content nonstop, so how about we take a short break while I get ready?”
After quickly coming to an agreement with the chat, I switched the screen to the waiting background. Then I hurriedly turned on some background music, muted my mic, and whipped my head to the side.
There was Serin, curled up on her chair with her arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The inside of the soundproof booth should still have been stuffy and warm, yet she looked like she was shivering from the cold. Was this what she had been like during our last Sync House collab, when I only saw her through the monitor?
Staring down at the floor and breathing harshly, she looked incredibly fragile.
“…Ria.”
“Eep…!”
Yeah. This was what trauma looked like. A sickness of the heart that couldn’t be overcome just by forcibly grabbing someone’s hand and dragging them forward. Right now, Serin was completely consumed by the terror from her childhood.
Until I met Mari and shattered the thing that had been locking me away, I had been the same. Making eye contact with someone and talking to them had been that terrifying. I could vaguely sense just how much pain she must be in.
That’s why, under normal circumstances, I would never have pushed her like this. Just like physical wounds, emotional scars need time and effort to heal. I hated doing anything that would reopen those wounds and make them hurt again.
But if I don’t do this, I won’t be able to stop Serin from quitting VTubing. So…
I’m sorry in advance. From now on, I’m going to force my will on you.
Gazing at the fragile girl before me, I stoked the fading embers in my heart back into a fierce blaze.
Serin first became aware of the existence of VTubers right around the time she entered her third year of middle school.
Magazine photoshoots, TV variety shows, drama cameos, supporting roles in movies… On a late night after finishing yet another shoot as the imperial princess working tirelessly to elevate the royal family’s brand value, something on a short-form video caught her eye on the way home.
At first, she thought it was just an animated character. In other words… a puppet that followed a pre-written script and concept, voiced by an actor and directed by a producer. All their thoughts and will were written on paper. Somehow, it feels like me… she had thought.
Huh? That’s not what I expected…
But when she looked up more information out of simple curiosity, she found the exact opposite. While concept and appearance were important, what mattered most was the charm of the real person inside. A VTuber was closer to a new personality created through mutual agreement between the streamer and the viewers.
In other words, becoming another version of yourself with no predetermined story or ending.
To Serin, who was exhausted from the weight of being an imperial princess, it felt like an irresistibly sweet fruit.
“Iryong. Could you… gather some information about this thing called VTubing for me?”
“Suddenly? It’s not difficult, but…”
Even as she spoke like it was nothing, she felt something like destiny. This might be the thing that would decisively change her future. It was a simple premonition.
And just as that feeling suggested, Serin became more and more immersed in VTubers as time passed. She found groups she liked, enjoyed events with them, and the number of VTubers whose names she memorized kept growing. Sometimes she would chat. Sometimes she would send support. There were even times she secretly bought merch and placed it by her bedside.
The only thing she regretted was that she didn’t have a single favorite VTuber she could call her oshi. There just wasn’t anyone she felt like she could stare at for the rest of her life.
Maybe that was because the emotion called love itself still felt foreign to her.
Anyway, after half a year of secretly enjoying her hobby, the fiery passion in her chest had grown too strong to ignore. Before she knew it, she realized the truth.
“Iryong. I… want to try becoming a VTuber.”
“…What?”
I still love singing, after all. And if I become a VTuber, maybe I’ll be able to sing in front of a lot of people.
It was a childish wish, one that didn’t suit an imperial princess who was loved by everyone. Of course, she didn’t want to cause trouble for anyone, so she promised that she would try just once. If she failed, she would give up immediately.
Perhaps thanks to her unexpected aptitude, she somehow managed to pass the audition for Unimori. At this rate, she really would be able to show everyone the thing she loved most.
…There was a time when she had dreamed such a sweet dream.
…I’m scared.
To Serin, failing during her debut stream wasn’t just a simple stumble. It was the terror of speaking and having no one hear her. That fear overlapped exactly with a memory from several years ago and carved itself deep into her heart.
A trauma so severe that she couldn’t sing the songs she loved for years. That nightmare felt like it was always watching her.
I’m scared… that it will happen again…
No matter how tightly she closed her eyes, she couldn’t forget that moment. If she was going to feel this kind of pain, it would be better if emotions like this just disappeared.
I’m really sorry. You finally tried to pull me out, but I…
Serin shed tears stained with fear and self-loathing. Soon, she curled her body up small, clutching her cold, throbbing heart.
Until a dizzying pain like lightning striking the top of her head suddenly hit her.
“You… idiot!”
“Higyaaak! O-ow… It hurts…”
Ziiiing…
Serin clutched the crown of her head and looked up, the ridiculous scream escaping her before she could stop it. She had never felt pain like this in her life, so she couldn’t quite understand what was happening.
Slowly raising her gaze, she saw Seolhwa standing there with her forehead flushed red. Had she really headbutted her with that delicate forehead? Her own eyes were trembling too, as if it hurt.
“W-why…?”
“Why are you curled up like that?! Hurry up and get ready to sing! You like it, don’t you?! Singing!”
“I-it’s impossible… I-I can’t… sing… Just imagining it makes it hard to breathe…”
“Oh, is that so? You’re saying that even with me right in front of you, you still have the luxury of looking somewhere else?”
Seolhwa looked down at her with eyes that clearly said she was displeased. Serin’s head was too jumbled to fully understand the words, but the sharp gaze that seemed to be scolding her was enough to crush her spirit.
So even Seolhwa is disappointed by how pathetic I look.
Feeling a sense of loss like her insides were being torn out, Serin tried to lower her head. But what came next was something completely beyond her expectations.
Suddenly leaning in close, Seolhwa kissed her!
A… kiss?!
Of course, it was far too clumsy to really call it a kiss. Their lips simply pressed together and stopped there without moving. If anything, it was more like the awkward peck a child might give.
Serin, who had come to her senses a beat too late, jerked backward into the chair’s backrest. But Seolhwa was gripping the armrests, preventing her from escaping.
Seolhwa tilted her head as if to say this wasn’t right, then furrowed her brows slightly. Like a snake, she clung to Serin and reached one hand behind her head.
“Hweh, w-w-what are you—!”
“You kissed my cheek without permission last time, didn’t you…? Then you can’t complain if I get revenge, right?”
“B-but that was my first kiss…?!”
“Same for me… Ngh. It’s hard to keep balance, so don’t run away…”
So that’s why they hold the head during kisses in movies and dramas. Having learned something new, Seolhwa held onto the fleeing Serin and brought their lips together again.
If Serin had truly wanted to reject her, she could have easily pushed away the much weaker Seolhwa. But apparently she didn’t hate it that much. All she could do was freeze up, her face turning bright red.
About ten seconds passed with their lips firmly pressed together. Seolhwa, feeling her heart pounding like it would burst, suddenly pulled back. She figured that was probably enough to heat up Serin again after her earlier chill.
Then, looking down at the girl who was staring up at her with wide, disbelieving eyes, Seolhwa put on the most relaxed smile she could manage and said,
“I know how you feel. You’re scared, right? Scared of making the same mistake again and being hated by people.”
“…”
“But what can I do? Even if you can’t sing, I won’t be disappointed. Because I’m the same as you—I’ve lived in the shadows because of failures I don’t want to tell anyone about.”
“Seolhwa… you had failures?”
“…It’s not exactly something to brag about, but until middle school, I was a pathetic, trash-like person. So when someone who got tired of me said harsh things, I became afraid of people. That’s why I still haven’t made a single proper friend. What do you think? Disappointed that the reason is so lame?”
“Th-that’s not possible…”
Really? That’s a relief. Smiling somewhat bashfully, Seolhwa rubbed her cheek against Serin’s shoulder. It was as if her whole body was saying, thank you for understanding my pain.
Then she hugged her close enough for their body heat to mingle. Slowly pulling back, she stared straight into Serin’s eyes and said,
“Right now, the only one by your side is me.”
“That’s…”
“Do you still feel scared to sing?”
Thump thump thump.
She could feel the clear, rapid beating of Seolhwa’s heart through their pressed chests. It was far too fast to be calm. Only then could Serin look at her properly.
She was pretending to be so composed with her words, but now that she looked closely, Seolhwa was clearly not okay either. Her face was flushed red against her pale skin, and her eyes were moist with tears. Her trembling voice and lips showed that she was pushing herself quite hard too.
But Seolhwa gently stroked Serin’s neck with her fingertips as if handling a precious treasure, then smiled like a mischievous child and said,
“I want to hear you sing.”
“…Ah.”
Serin thought that she would probably never forget this sight for the rest of her life.
Pastel-colored paint had been scattered over the nightmare that had been indelibly etched into her. The sight she wanted to keep in her eyes forever. As she stared blankly at it, something in her chest ached with longing.
A painful, suffocating feeling of wanting to keep this person inside her heart forever. As she tried to give a name to that unfamiliar emotion, Serin realized she already knew what it was.
“Um… just one more time…”
“…Huh?”
“It’s Snow’s fault for being so bad…”
“W-wait—!”
Unable to hold back her surging emotions, Serin reversed their positions and pushed Seolhwa down onto the floor. She laid her down gently so she wouldn’t hit her head, then fiercely claimed her lips.
This was no longer the clumsy little peck from before. It was a deep kiss, one that earnestly explored the other person. Having been made to look only at her as Seolhwa intended, Serin instinctively stepped into territory she had never learned.
I want to swallow even your faltering breaths completely into me.
With that single thought, she ravaged the inside of Seolhwa’s mouth without mercy. When Seolhwa was finally released right before she ran out of breath, she covered her saliva-covered lips and begged,
“Haa, heuk, huu… L-let me breathe for a second… Where did you… learn something like this…?”
“Just once… one more time…”
“N-no… The viewers are waiting… We can’t go any further… Ngh, I really mean it!”
Seolhwa somehow managed to push away the persistently clinging Serin. She had a gut feeling that if she let her do whatever she wanted, it would turn into a broadcast accident.
But Serin, who had just awakened to something for the first time in her life, wore an expression that said it wasn’t enough. With the feeling of offering one arm to a wolf, Seolhwa reluctantly offered a compromise.
“A-after the stream ends, we can continue…”
“…Okay!”
Is… is this really okay?
While Seolhwa fixed her disheveled clothes that had gotten messed up from rolling on the floor, Serin—whose eyes had completely changed—sat neatly in her chair and spoke in a surprisingly serious voice.
“Snow. You have the MR for our original song on the computer, right?”
“Baekgwi Yahang? Of course I do.”
“I’ll do it with that.”
With that? Seolhwa couldn’t process the sudden statement for a moment. But a sensation like lightning flashing through her mind made her smile and nod.
Without hesitation, she turned the previously muted mic back on. Then, as if to dispel the heated atmosphere that had grown almost sweaty, she shouted energetically.
“Sorry for the wait! As an apology, I’ll sing with you, so please forgive me! The song we’re doing now is… Unimori 3rd generation’s original track, Baekgwi Yahang!”
Seolhwa and Serin divided the remaining three parts with their eyes and naturally began to sing.
Compared to Serin, Seolhwa’s skill was quite lacking. But it wasn’t so bad that people couldn’t listen to it. Instead, it had the effect of highlighting Serin’s previously hidden ability even more. The viewers’ reaction was more enthusiastic than ever before.
As expected… I’m still scared.
Maybe she couldn’t completely shake off the fear. As she sat in her chair focusing on the song, Serin’s hands trembled without her realizing it. She wasn’t even sure which part she was singing or if she was hitting the right notes.
It’s scary… but it’s okay.
Maybe it was thanks to Seolhwa, who smiled brightly and took her hand. Serin, who had suppressed her fear, was finally able to take one step forward.
“Laugh, cry, go crazy with us—!”
The night parade of yokai. The wolf princess’s run, freed from fear, was more brilliant than anyone else’s. As if repaying all the pent-up resentment until now, her voice was freer than anything.