Finding Out About Her Past Feels Off (4)
Se-rin stood in the dark back alley wearing a red dress. Her presence was like a single rose blooming in a garbage dump. Perhaps it was because I was blocking the only exit. Tension crackled between our locked gazes. Cornered at a dead end, she showed no sign of wanting to run. That was fortunate for me, since my feeble strength could never physically stop her anyway. All I wanted was to talk.
“…”
“Eep…”
What bothered me most was how pale Se-rin looked. She fidgeted like the very embodiment of restlessness. Even the slightest movement from me made her shoulders flinch, like a child terrified of being scolded by her parents. The gap between this and her usual confident smile was so stark that I couldn’t help but laugh, completely out of place in the tense atmosphere.
“Pfft… haha…”
“…Why are you laughing?”
“No reason. It’s just… this whole situation is ridiculous. A chase scene in the middle of the city? We’re not in some action movie!”
“I-I was being completely serious…”
“Ahaha! That’s exactly why it’s funnier!”
Se-rin was drenched in sweat, her pretty dress smeared with dirt and dust. My own hair was a complete mess, and my face was a disaster of tears and drool. Yeah, this definitely wasn’t the state for a serious conversation. After laughing while clutching my stomach for a while, I took off my coat and walked straight toward her. The wind was still chilly, and I worried about her in that thin dress, soaked with sweat.
“Aren’t you cold? Here, borrow my coat.”
“Eh, but I’m all sweaty right now…”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t smell or anything. I’m wearing a knit, so I’m not cold.”
“Th-thank you.”
Maybe because I’d shown I wasn’t cold without the coat, she timidly accepted it and carefully draped it over her shoulders. The height difference meant it didn’t fully cover her thighs, but it seemed enough to block the wind. Just looking at her made me feel cold. Then, glancing down, I realized she was barefoot. She must have kicked off her heels while running earlier. Only natural.
“Are your feet okay? You didn’t step on anything sharp, did you? Sit down over there for a second.”
“…Okay.”
I had her sit on a nearby air conditioner outdoor unit. She followed me quietly, almost like a docile puppy. Crouching in front of her, I examined her feet closely. Thankfully, there were no wounds—she hadn’t stepped on anything pointed or sharp. Whew, what if she’d cut herself on glass? Relieved, I pulled wet wipes from the bag slung at my waist and gently held her heel with one hand, wiping the dirt from her foot. She seemed unused to having her feet touched; her cute toes spread wide.
“Hyah! Th-that’s…”
“Stay still. You can’t even put shoes on like this. I’ll be done in a second.”
“Uuu…”
Swish. Swish. I moved my hand as gently as possible. From the sole to the heel, the sides of her foot, then the top and between her toes. She jerked especially hard whenever I brushed between her toes. The sensation must have been very unfamiliar. What, she teases me for being weak to skinship, but she’s the same? A mischievous impulse struck me. I interlaced my fingers with her toes and pressed firmly on the sensitive spot inside. Looking up at her face, now flushed bright red, I mimicked a masseuse.
“How is it? Does the massage feel good, ma’am?”
“Hawawa… N-not there… It’s a dirty place…”
…Wait, what kind of answer was that? It sounded like I was doing something perverted. Jolted back to my senses, I hurriedly stuffed the wet wipes into my pocket and scooted backward. If I kept fiddling with her feet like this, I felt like I’d awaken to some strange territory. Se-rin looked almost disappointed, gazing at me blankly with moist eyes. Combined with the hair clinging to her sweat-dampened cheeks, that gaze was dangerously captivating. Then her crimson lips, as if drawing my eyes, glistened…
‘Uwaaaah! Get a grip, Ryu Seolhwa! Now’s not the time for this!’
I whipped my gaze away and shook my head violently. Taking several deep breaths, I tried to steady my heart. So-hui’s voice from the café earlier echoed in my mind, but I gritted my teeth and ignored it. I couldn’t let things stay like this. I had no choice but to have a serious talk. Calming my racing heart, I turned sharply to Se-rin and spoke with genuine seriousness.
“I heard. About why you can’t sing anymore.”
She had been staring at me in bewilderment after my sudden outburst, but now her eyes widened. Then, with an expression that said “So that’s how it is,” she fiddled with the hair near her ear.
“I knew it… How much did you hear?”
“Up to the part about the accident when you were little giving you trauma.”
“Lee-ryong… Why would he say something like that on his own? I hate him.”
Se-rin muttered while avoiding my eyes, her face sulky. She looked just like a child whose secret had been exposed. Maybe she still couldn’t meet my gaze properly in that state. Glancing at me from the corner of her eye, she tossed out the question.
“…Are you disillusioned?”
“Huh? With what?”
“B-because I tried to run away like a kid over something this small… I must look like an idiot, right? Really…”
She seemed as fragile as a sandcastle that would collapse at the slightest touch. What she was revealing now was probably something she had always wanted to protect. She didn’t want anyone to think the reason she was sad and frustrated was pathetic. Probably everyone, deep down, carried that kind of thought without showing it. So I stepped closer, looked down at her from right in front, and answered.
“I’m not.”
“H-huh?”
“Not at all. I’m not disappointed in the slightest.”
This was my honest feeling, without a single lie. After all, I had a past I regretted every night and wanted to run away from, just like her. Mocking someone else’s failure? That was something I could never forgive myself for. Maybe my strong resolve reached her through my eyes. The tension seemed to drain slightly from Se-rin’s shoulders, which had been hunched in fear. Then, suddenly, one question I’d always wondered about was answered. Why had I, who hated getting close to people, been the one to suggest the yuri business to Se-rin? The clear answer was right there in her eyes as she looked up at me in confusion.
‘I admired you more than anyone…’
Singing, gaming, streaming—everything about her was flawless, a perfect genius. I never even felt jealous. Before I knew it, I’d started thinking she was amazing. When she couldn’t get back up after falling once, I just couldn’t stand it. Your talent isn’t just that much. Show everyone the you I envied. Ah, so that was it. Why hadn’t I noticed until now? So, the me who had been hesitating because I lacked courage finally stepped forward. Taking one step back, I faced Se-rin squarely and voiced the feeling I had kept deep inside.
“Se-rin, don’t quit being a VTuber. Keep working with me at Unimori.”
“Eep…”
“Whether it’s being a VTuber or singing… you still love it, right? So don’t give up. Keep trying. I want to keep watching you as a VTuber, right by your side.”
It was a completely selfish statement that didn’t consider her feelings at all. But precisely because of that, it was also my truest, unfiltered sincerity. I want to keep watching you as a VTuber. Did my feelings get through? Se-rin’s eyes shook violently, as if she’d heard something unbelievable. But she quickly pulled herself together, bit her lip, and looked away. With a face that looked like it would burst into tears if poked, she answered timidly.
“…I can’t find the courage anymore. Everything… has become scary…”
“…”
“I already asked the president. I’ll graduate on the last day of February. From March, I have to adjust to the new semester too… Sorry for making you worry…”
So in the end, it was already too late. Maybe we’d already gone somewhere a simple request couldn’t fix. But I couldn’t end the conversation here. Still needing to say more, I spoke in a stiff voice.
“What about the yuri business?”
“That’s…”
“You still haven’t fallen for me yet.”
It had already been a month and a half since we debuted as Unimori VTubers. The yuri business between us was still ongoing. It started with the collab bet stream and continued with real-life date stories. Ryu Seolhwa and Lee Se-rin were nothing more than agency colleagues. But Snow and Priya were slowly becoming aware of each other. She must have already sorted out that part in her mind too. Se-rin’s face twisted in pain as she answered reluctantly.
“Sorry. Even though I used the wish ticket on my own… let’s just say I got rejected. Anyway, if I quit, I won’t be Priya anymore.”
“No.”
“…Huh?”
“There’s still content we haven’t done yet. I’m not letting you go until we do that.”
She had been avoiding my eyes, but now she looked at me in shock, as if hearing this for the first time. Maybe because I’d always shown reluctance toward the yuri business, she never expected me to cling like this. But I had the right to do so. Meeting her gaze, I stepped closer and declared with force in my eyes.
“A real-life collab. Tomorrow, at my house.”
“E-eh…”
“You’re not going to refuse, are you? After everything I’ve done to help you.”
If you refuse this, you’re not even human! As if saying exactly that, I stared straight at Se-rin. Even she couldn’t refuse, it seemed. After glancing around uncertainly, Se-rin finally lowered her head weakly and answered.
“Th-then… let’s make that real-life collab the last one…”
“Good. Now I’ve got a proper promise.”
Great, this means there’s still a chance. I turned my back and clenched my fist where she couldn’t see, striking a victory pose. I had to get past this stage somehow for the plan I’d told So-hui about. For me, it was a result worth sighing in relief over. Of course, it still felt like we were just at the starting line. I figured this was enough conversation with Se-rin for now. Making that judgment, I took out my smartphone and messaged So-hui. Se-rin was here, so bring a pair of shoes and come pick her up quickly.
“Um… can I ask what we’re doing tomorrow?”
Yeah, with this, I felt like I’d accomplished the goal of meeting Se-rin today. As I put my phone back in my pocket, Se-rin, who had been sitting quietly, suddenly asked. Even for a real-life collab, there were all kinds of content we could do. She must have been curious what we’d do in what might be our last collab. Well… no need to hide it here. Thinking that, I turned around and said with a grin.
“I’m going to make you fall completely head over heels for me so you can’t quit being a VTuber.”
“Eh?”
“I’m going all out with full sincerity. Be prepared.”
At my answer, Se-rin blinked in bewilderment, but for some reason my chest felt refreshed, and I smiled with all my might. Yeah, let’s resolve to give it everything here. From now on, this was our final showdown.