Something Feels Off About Becoming a VTuber (1)

My name is Ryu Seolhwa. I'm a reincarnator who's six years old this year. The first time I realized I'd been reborn was because of a dizzying accident. While swinging on the playground, the chain snapped at the highest point and I slammed headfirst into the ground. Maybe it was because I landed in the sandpit—my head split open and blood poured out, but thankfully there were no lasting aftereffects. When I opened my eyes again, someone else's memories flooded into my mind. They belonged to a high school senior who'd died pointlessly after being hit by a truck on a winter day after the college entrance exams. That was when I finally understood I was a reincarnator who'd already experienced death once.

"Reincarnation… This is straight out of the comics and novels I used to read!"

Of course I was excited. In my past life, I'd been a gloomy otaku who spent every class at the back of the room watching anime and reading web novels on a tablet. You could say I was an expert on reincarnation stories—I'd read dozens of them. Maybe this world even had magic or superpowers?! My heart pounded so hard I thought it might burst, but unfortunately there was no way to find out. I was stuck in a hospital bed with a bandage around my head and nothing but empty hands.

Just in case, I tried sounding my mom out, but the worried look she gave me only made me feel a little hurt. From the scenery around me, it seemed best to assume this was the Earth I knew.

"W-well… it's fine even if there aren't any special powers! Being reincarnated in the modern era isn't so bad either! If I'd gone back to the past, I could've made a fortune with cryptocurrency, stocks, or horse racing and turned my life around!"

The truth was I'd never made money before, so I had no idea which stocks were good. Still, I knew cryptocurrency had gone up ridiculously high. Really, nothing else mattered. The plan was simple: buy a ton when it was cheap, sell at the peak, and make hundreds of times my investment. With that money I'd become a building owner and live a relaxed life without ever working again!

…That hope popped like a bubble the very next moment. When I asked Mom what year it was so I could confirm the date, she answered 2027—a year I never could have predicted.

'This… is the future compared to the world I lived in…? Then cryptocurrency and stocks are completely meaningless!'

What was I supposed to do with my future-knowledge cheat now?! While clutching my head and screaming silently, I suddenly felt something was off. But… didn't the technology seem a little behind for 2027? The house, the smartphone Mom carried—everything looked like it belonged to the early 2010s no matter how I thought about it. What on earth was going on?

Carrying that unresolved question in my chest, I was finally discharged after a few days once the bandages came off. Holding Mom's hand as we left the hospital, I immediately froze with my mouth hanging open in shock. The reason was simple. The moment we stepped outside, a massive electronic billboard across the street displayed something that felt like a hammer to the back of my head.

"Empire? Imperial family?! Where the hell am I?!"

"S-Seolhwa? Does your head still hurt?"

"Ugh…"

"Seolhwa?!"

This wasn't the Republic of Korea… it was the Korean Empire? Had I fallen into an alternate-history world?! Overwhelmed by confusion, my vision spun and I collapsed on the spot. Getting readmitted to the hospital on the very first day of discharge—sorry, Mom. I had no excuse.

*

Somehow I came to my senses, completed my second discharge without incident, and returned home. Wanting to learn more about this world, I snuck into Dad's room. With only me and my one-year-younger little sister in the house, the only computer was here.

Operating it with my small hands, I confirmed once again that this wasn't the world I knew. History was a jumbled mess from the very beginning—different country names, singers I'd never heard of, different names for laws…

"It wasn't a mistake… This really is the Korean Empire."

What shocked me most was that our country was a unified nation ruling the entire Korean peninsula. It had never been divided or fallen; it had modernized on its own and kept the name Korean Empire. I didn't fully understand the difficult words, but it was a constitutional monarchy with the imperial family still intact. The princess, the same age as me, already enjoyed popularity close to that of a celebrity.

Ha… haha… An actual princess existed in Korea… At this point it went beyond feeling unreal—it was completely absurd. Just to check if I was dreaming, I pinched my cheeks hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. The pain proved this was reality.

But if this was the situation after finally reincarnating, it was no different from being dropped into another world. No knowledge cheats, nothing. Did that mean I just had to live like everyone else? Wasn't that too unfair?!

"…Haa, calm down. Reincarnators are usually geniuses in some field. There's still a chance!"

Still, it felt wasteful to completely abandon hope. There had to be some special talent hidden inside me! If I had to compare it to something, I was like an unscratched lottery ticket guaranteed to win. My face alone looked promising enough for the future, so surely I possessed an incredible talent to match.

"Singing? Playing instruments? Acting? Sports? Gaming? Anything's fine! This time for sure… I'm going to live a wonderful life that no one can look down on!"

Standing in front of the computer with my fist raised high, I made my vow. Unlike my previous life where I'd died pathetically before even becoming an adult, this life I would definitely become someone great whom everyone respected.

With that resolve, my second life began. Up through elementary school, things weren't bad. Studying, sports, relationships—at the level of snot-nosed kids, I could stay ahead of everyone without much effort because I'd already lived through it once. I was always the cool kid ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠who effortlessly handled whatever others struggled with. My pretty face helped too, so I naturally became the leader of the group. Being respected by everyone felt as sweet as candy, and I wished that moment could last forever.

"Captain! How was the test today? Did you get first place again?"

"Ah, no… I guess my condition wasn't great today…"

"Seolhwa, look at this! I won the grand prize at the national competition!"

"Th-that's amazing! Good thing I didn't participate… ahaha…"

But the small advantage of having lived once before was overtaken far too quickly. While I was busy being complacent, children with real talent began appearing one after another, and those truly gifted kids soared into the sky as if they had wings. By the time I finished elementary school and became a middle schooler, I'd fallen into the ranks of ordinary, unremarkable kids. The reincarnator who was supposed to live a wonderful life was now lagging behind children born with nothing special. Without realizing it, I might have been feeling self-loathing along with inferiority.

'That can't be right. I'm… supposed to be special…'

Even so, it would've been better if I'd accepted my shortcomings without forcing myself. But unwilling to admit I was falling behind, I pathetically started putting on airs. I told myself I could catch up instantly if I got serious. That I still hadn't shown my full potential. The excuses piled up, and the kids who saw through my ugly true nature gradually began drifting away.

Then one day after school, the girl I thought was my closest friend said this to me:

"You don't have anything you're actually good at, yet you only rely on your face and look down on us in your heart, don't you?"

"…"

"…Ugh, say something! I… I thought you were… damn it!"

I should've made excuses somehow, but it felt like someone was choking me—I couldn't say a single word in denial. Probably because, pathetically enough, every word she'd ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠said was the truth. I'd genuinely believed the childish delusion that I was the protagonist of this world and everyone around me was just a supporting character meant for me.

"…Don't ever talk to me again."

I could only watch as the girl who had once been my friend turned her back and walked away. Just because I'd been given the chance to live life twice didn't mean I could live like a protagonist. Unfortunately, I only realized that fact after it was already too late to turn back.

*

If my life had ended there, it would've surely been a bad ending. But reality has no final page, so cruelly enough, my middle school life continued in that state. Unlike before when I'd desperately tried to connect with people, I became a loner who spoke to no one. The courage or will to make friends or show a cool side never returned. While I was living each day like a withered plant, on one cold winter day, a fateful encounter found me as I lay listlessly in bed scrolling through shorts.

"This is… a VTuber?"

It was my first meeting with Mari—the VTuber who would completely change the rest ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of my life.