Dating the Imperial Princess Feels Kinda Weird (3)
Dating the Imperial Princess feels kinda weird. Falling in love with someone had always felt like a story from a distant world. At some point, I stopped even questioning that assumption. Romance had become like an un-purchased DLC in the game of my life. And now that I’m a girl… if I were to date anyone, it would have to be a guy, right? Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.
That said, it’s not like I’m particularly drawn to women either. Sure, I sometimes feel my heart skip a beat when I see a beautiful girl, or get inexplicably nervous. But I’ve never once thought, I want to date her. It just… doesn’t appeal to me. Wait. Does that mean there’s something mentally wrong with me?
My sense of sexuality must have gotten completely messed up because of my previous life. What am I supposed to do about marriage later? At this rate, I might stay single for the rest of my life…
Mom, Dad. Sorry for being such a disappointing daughter. I’ll leave the grandkids to Ha-yeon…
Anyway, the reason these random thoughts were swirling through my head was because of the absurd statement Se-rin had just dropped in front of me.
She wanted to fall in love with me for the sake of Yuri Business?
It was so ridiculous I didn’t even know where to begin criticizing it. After clutching my head and groaning for a long while, I finally looked at the perfectly calm Se-rin and asked,
“W-wait a second… I’m not following this at all. Let me just confirm one thing. Do you… like me?”
“Hmm… I consider Seolhwa a precious friend with whom I can discuss VTuber matters. But as for romantic feelings… that would be rather ambiguous.”
“R-right? Same here! So why all of a sudden… wanting to like me or whatever… that kind of…”
“Are you asking why I came to have such thoughts?”
…Yes. Obviously I have to ask.
I kept my mouth firmly shut and nodded at her question. The sentence itself had been strange from the start. It wasn’t “I like you” or “I’m going to make you like me.” It was “I want to start liking you from now on.” What was I even supposed to do with that? And the purpose behind it was Yuri Business of all things! At this point I really wished she’d just say it was all a joke.
But it seemed Se-rin was completely serious. She scooped up some parfait with her spoon, brought it to her lips, and dropped another bombshell.
“I’m quite good at most things I’ve tried once, but I’m terribly clumsy at anything I’ve never done before.”
“…Weren’t you supposed to be the perfect Imperial Princess?”
“Wouldn’t it be boring if I were too perfect?”
Well, yeah, everyone’s clumsy at things they’ve never tried… As I thought that, something about her words struck a chord with me.
Back when I first met Se-rin in front of the agency, she had been holding a map yet still got lost right in front of her destination. If she had never tried finding her way around before that, then her claim that she was clumsy at anything she hadn’t experienced made a lot of sense. On the other hand, her absurd growth speed during our collab stream proved that she was good at most things she had tried.
“So when you say you want to fall in love with me…”
“Yuri Business is usually content where you emphasize that you share a relationship beyond friendship with the other person, right? But as I mentioned earlier, unfortunately I’ve never once felt an emotion beyond friendship in my entire life. Therefore, I’ve decided to fill that void by genuinely falling in love with you.”
What kind of nonsense logic is that…!
Yet there was no real contradiction in her reasoning. It was like an actor immersing themselves in a role by actually experiencing it in real life. And since she had arbitrarily decided to like me, it felt awkward for me to interfere. What was I supposed to say? “It would be inconvenient if you liked me, so please stop”?
No matter how I thought about it, that wasn’t something the person who first suggested Yuri Business should be saying.
My head was so full of confusion that my language functions shut down. I opened and closed my mouth wordlessly. Then, grasping at straws, I carefully spoke as if trying to persuade her.
“B-but during our last collab stream, we pulled off the atmosphere really well! In my opinion, that level of Yuri Business should be more than enough.”
“About that… truthfully, I don’t remember it very well. I was so focused on the game that I barely know what I even said.”
Because a certain someone pulled out some sure-win strategy to completely crush me.
Se-rin shrugged lightly and poked at the parfait with her spoon. The certain someone in question—me—squeezed her eyes shut. It seemed my influence really was behind her reaching this ridiculous conclusion. If only I had known, I should have let the Yuri Business crash and burn spectacularly.
Crushed by the disaster I had brought upon myself, I looked at the parfait with trembling eyes and asked,
“So… is this parfait part of your plan to start liking me?”
“Yes. I thought that going on a lover-like date where we become conscious of each other would help me fall for you. You can look forward to it. I put a lot of effort into planning today’s date course.”
“How am I supposed to look forward to this!”
“Ah, it’s quite the unreasonable request, isn’t it? I don’t intend to make you spend any money. Seolhwa, you just need to enjoy yourself.”
“That’s not the problem!”
I shouted as if venting the frustration that refused to dissipate. But regardless of my will, my heart began pounding wildly inside my chest. Even in this situation, my heart was getting excited over the words “lover-like date”? How easy was I?!
I squeezed my eyes shut and agonized over how to handle this chaotic situation. No matter how much I thought about it, no brilliant escape plan came to mind.
Should I just refuse and say I hate it? No… I have to do the Yuri Business. That was the promise… If I act however I want, this girl will be deeply disappointed in me. And that… I don’t really like the sound of that.
Of course, I still couldn’t understand why she was going this far for mere Yuri Business. But the moment she declared she was going to do it, outside opinions didn’t really matter anymore. In that case, wouldn’t it be best if I just went along with it without making a fuss? I could just think of today as a gratitude-repayment date that had gotten a little too intense…
But who repays a favor with a lover date in the first place?! That was the problem from the start!
All sorts of thoughts tangled chaotically inside my head. Se-rin, however, didn’t seem particularly bothered by my inner turmoil. She scooped up the top part of the parfait with her spoon and suddenly held it out to me.
“Ah~”
“W-what the… I’ll eat with my own spoon.”
“Your own spoon? There’s only one spoon here.”
“What…”
Wait, there’s only one spoon…? Usually when sharing dessert, they give you two spoons. Even for a couple-exclusive parfait, that was just a matter of basic convenience. I was stunned by the cafe’s incredibly unfriendly service when Se-rin winked lightly and spoke in a coquettish voice.
“I asked them to give us only one. Pretty meticulous, right?”
“Meticulous? That’s straight-up terrifying!”
Come to think of it, there probably weren’t many cafes that sold such huge couple-exclusive parfaits. From the meeting place to this cafe she had led me to, everything had likely been inside the palm of her hand. So this whole thing had been planned from the beginning…!
I felt goosebumps rise as I watched her casually confess to her crimes. The moment her spoon approached me, cornering me with no escape, a brilliant idea to turn the situation around flashed through my mind.
“Hold on. You definitely said it wasn’t about me falling for you, but you falling for me, right?”
“Hm? Well… if you look at it that way, yes.”
“Then shouldn’t I be the one feeding you right now? How can you become conscious of me if I’m the one being fed?”
“Hmm… That’s certainly one way to look at it.”
It was the general theory of feeding someone. Usually, the person being fed ends up becoming conscious of the other. I was desperately arguing that there would be no meaning if I ate the parfait from her.
In truth, I couldn’t care less about the complex mechanics of feeding someone. What mattered was that I had found a justification to push her back and buy myself some time. If I kept getting swept up in her pace without any resistance, I had a feeling I’d end up being dragged around like a dog on a leash from now on.
But the moment I unconsciously relaxed because she seemed to agree with me, Se-rin suddenly thrust the spoon forward and shoved the parfait into my mouth!
“Mmph?!”
“Then I’ll feed you this time. Next, Seolhwa can feed me. Simple logic, isn’t it?”
Is that how this works?!
I panicked at the mouthful of parfait and the spoon filling my mouth. I flailed my legs under the table and tried to pull my body back to escape the spoon. But I couldn’t break free from Se-rin’s persistent hand movements that followed my every motion. In the end, I had no choice but to lick the parfait off the spoon with my tongue.
“It’s delicious, right? This place is famous for how incredibly good their parfaits are.”
“…Yeah.”
It had looked delicious just from appearance, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. The cold, sweet taste of the parfait was so excellent that I couldn’t help but smile despite the situation. Even so, I felt somehow defeated. The timing when I should have been angry had been completely overwritten by sweetness. How frustrating.
While I covered my mouth with one hand and sulkily looked away, Se-rin gazed at me with a gentle smile and handed me the spoon’s handle.
“Now will you feed me too?”
“…Ugh, fine! But I have one condition!”
“A condition?”
I snatched the spoon from her hand, scooped some parfait, and glared at Se-rin. At this rate, I’d have no choice but to obediently follow whatever she wanted. I needed to create at least some means to reject her nonsense, resist, and fight back.
“The parfait is already here so there’s nothing we can do about it, but from now on we’re going Dutch no matter what. And you have to tell me in advance what we’re doing! If you secretly order something like this again, I’ll get mad!”
“Going Dutch… Seolhwa, wouldn’t that be a burden for you?”
“Hah, I’ve got plenty of allowance to spare.”
Despite how I looked, I had barely touched the salary I received from the agency over the past year, so there was still a lot left. I crossed my arms with an air of composure, making it clear I wouldn’t do anything unless these conditions were met.
Se-rin frowned slightly as if troubled, then nodded as if she had no choice. It seemed she realized she had gone too far. She was apparently willing to accept that much.
Then… I guess I have to feed her myself now.
Somewhat reluctantly, I scooped up the top of the parfait and held the spoon out toward Se-rin’s lips. Soon the spoon disappeared past her lips and reappeared. She closed her eyes, chewing as if savoring the taste, then touched her lips and murmured,
“The taste… hasn’t changed at all.”
“Well, obviously. We ate the same thing.”
“But my heart’s beating a little faster. Ah, could it be because Seolhwa’s saliva is mixed in?”
“Khup— What are you even…”
Who would even notice if a little saliva got mixed in?! Seeing Se-rin speak so bashfully made me grit my teeth. Did this woman have no sense of shame at all? At this rate, even I, who had been trying not to think about it, was going to become conscious of her.
No, I was already conscious of it.
I stared blankly at the now moist spoon, then squeezed my eyes shut. I shook my head violently, trying to shake off the impure thoughts. Begone, dirty thoughts!
“Then shall we keep eating? We bought it after all. It’d be a shame not to finish it.”
“Haaaa… How did it come to this…”
“Come on, let’s do our best, Seolhwa.”
I covered my face with both hands and squeezed my eyes shut. It felt like my head was filled with desire and had turned into a complete mess. But reality was cruel—the mountain of parfait still waited before us.
After that, we took turns feeding each other and somehow managed to finish the entire parfait. I’d rather not think about how much of each other’s saliva we swallowed during the process.
The lover-imitation date began with Se-rin’s shocking declaration. Surprisingly, the rest of the date flowed in an incredibly normal way.
After leaving the cafe, we walked side by side through a park where a frozen lake sparkled. Even after eating the parfait, there was still room in our stomachs. At her suggestion, we each bought a waffle and shared them. They were delicious.
After a light stroll through the park, we stopped by a suitable pasta restaurant nearby. It had the kind of nice atmosphere you often see on Outstar, so it felt rather awkward to me. After the meal, we visited a raccoon cafe. I still clearly remember how she put a raccoon on her shoulder, saying it was her first time at a place like this.
Though for some reason, that little guy got scared and ran away frantically whenever I approached. That hurt a little.
And by this point, I had no choice but to admit it.
This was actually…
“…Pretty fun in a normal way.”
“Seolhwa. Here’s your cola.”
“Ah, thanks.”
I had been sitting in a chair and sighing when Se-rin, who had approached without me noticing, handed me the cola. She was skillfully holding a box of popcorn in her arms. It was the caramel popcorn I had requested.
By now, anyone would have figured it out. That’s right. After visiting various places, we were now inside a movie theater. It was practically a cliché date spot, the kind that always shows up on date courses.
Se-rin set down the popcorn and cola she had been carrying on the table. Then, instead of sitting across from me, she sat right beside me, practically clinging to my side, and spoke.
“Did you get the tickets?”
“Why are you sitting next to… Haa, yeah. Here’s the movie you requested. Check the seats.”
“Mmm… That’s right. The couple seats at the very back. I’ve never sat in one before, so I’m excited.”
I’m not excited at all…
I somehow managed to swallow back the words that nearly burst out. Since we were about to watch a movie, I didn’t want to ruin the mood before it even started. Still, wasn’t a melodrama pushing it? My tastes leaned toward fantasy, action… or better yet, animated films. What was fun about watching a guy and a girl making out?
It wasn’t even rated R, so there wouldn’t be anything explicit. When I asked why she had chosen this movie if that part bothered her, Se-rin thought for a moment before answering,
“I don’t really know what kind of movie it is either. I actually asked a friend. She said it was the hottest movie lately.”
“The hottest movie?”
…I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. Still, it was interesting that she had a friend she could ask for movie recommendations. I felt a strange, dark emotion rise up and quickly tossed it aside. Anyway, a melodrama was still a melodrama. Even from the clichéd title, it was completely out.
“Ten minutes left. Shall we head in?”
“Sure.”
After sitting side by side and killing time, the screening time finally arrived. I followed behind Se-rin, who walked ahead quickly while holding her cola, and entered the theater. Our seats were the couple seats in the very back corner. Because of the high partition, it had a rather secretive atmosphere.
After confirming no one was watching, Se-rin took off her sunglasses, revealing her face. She looked around before sitting down, then turned to look at me and said,
“Hehe, so this is what couple seats feel like. I guess if you kiss in here, no one outside would know, right?”
“K-kiss…! Are you serious…?”
“Ah, of course I’m not planning to go that far. I should cherish my body, after all. The first time is important.”
“I’m glad you at least have that much sense…”
I didn’t mind a lover-like atmosphere for the date, but I didn’t think we should go that far. Startled, I calmed myself down and settled comfortably into my seat. Maybe because I had been tense all day, my body naturally relaxed and grew languid. But then the cool, distinctive scent of Se-rin right beside me made me tense up again.
Just the two of us in a dark movie theater, in the couple seats… Nothing was going to happen, right?
As expected… the movie isn’t very interesting. Who watches this for fun?
Just as I had predicted, the movie was disappointingly boring. It was such an ordinary melodrama that it wouldn’t even leave an impression. There weren’t even any funny parts. The date course up until now had all been fun, but this was definitely a miss.
As I thought that and mindlessly reached for the popcorn box, the movie’s plot suddenly took an unexpected turn.
“Eh?”
With a rather provocative whisper, the female lead suddenly stripped off her clothes. Then, with explicit intensity, the man and woman began intertwining on the screen. Of course the important parts weren’t shown, but their silhouettes in the darkness were painfully clear. It was a scene so shocking it was hard to believe this was a PG-15 movie.
C-crazy… They’re even licking there? What the hell does that even mean…
I couldn’t even blink, unconsciously focusing on the movie, when something suddenly brushed ticklishly against the fingertips I had stretched toward the popcorn. I nearly screamed in surprise and whipped my head to the side. There was Se-rin, her face flushed bright red even in the darkness.
It seemed she had reached for the popcorn at the same time as me and our hands had accidentally brushed. We stared at each other silently for a moment, then almost simultaneously turned our heads away.
Why are we watching something like this together?! Lee Se-rin, are you insane?!
Judging by her reaction, it seemed Se-rin hadn’t known a scene of this intensity would appear either. But if someone asked what I remembered most from today, it would probably be this very moment. With the obscene sounds blasting loudly through the theater speakers, I couldn’t bring myself to eat any more popcorn until the end.