The Unbearable Lightness of a Kiss #1
"...Whew."
Thalia's mornings started early.
She would wake up in the dim twilight before dawn, swing her sword to warm up, and settle her aura.
Then, before the sun even rose, she would head to Edwin's dormitory.
The reason she woke up so early was...
Well, there wasn't one in particular.
If she had to give a reason, it was because most of the guards on duty were dozing off at dawn, making it easy to slip into the men's dormitory.
And once she sneaked into Edwin's room...
She would quietly kneel on the floor and watch Edwin sleep in his underwear until her lord woke up.
There was no special meaning behind this action either.
She didn't harbor any particular thoughts while watching him sleep.
She simply watched.
Just because.
Because she wanted to.
'The reason is... a retainer must wake up earlier than the one they serve. Since I do not know when my Lord will wake, it is only logical to arrive early. Besides... he might get hurt again, like last time.'
She tried to rationalize it to herself.
That was probably the closest thing to the truth.
But Thalia herself wasn't sure if she had started waiting for Edwin to wake up so early in the morning with those thoughts in mind from the very beginning.
'It is an honor to have been chosen as the retainer to serve my Lord at the academy. It is only right that I behave accordingly.'
Or so she thought.
Edwin Faldemont was a man who was highly frivolous, far too fond of women, and sorely lacking in dignity. Yet, he was still her lord.
And lately, he...
Had been working tirelessly for the past few days.
'He attends the academy while simultaneously learning the sword from me. Despite his abysmal magic aptitude, he seeks out a magic professor to find ways to grow stronger. He is always attentive to his surroundings and treats me kindly.'
If one looked closely at Edwin's actions...
It was clear he was living a life completely opposite to the frivolous words and lazy attitude he usually displayed.
Thalia respected him for that.
She had served Edwin from the start, but now she followed him from the bottom of her heart.
'My Lord... is more diligent than anyone.'
Even if his words and actions were a bit frivolous...
"What? Obsession and curses are holding the door shut? The door is locked? Yeah, no~ I'm going to cheese the absolute shit out of this!"
"..."
Even if his words...
Were a bit frivolous.
"...Why on earth did you come so early?"
It felt awkward talking to her in my underwear, so I threw on some clothes before asking.
Thalia replied nonchalantly.
"I simply arrived at my usual time."
"The sun isn't even up yet."
"Yes, because you usually open your eyes around sunrise, Lord Edwin."
Which meant she had to be here before then.
Her logic left me utterly speechless.
"No, but there's still ages left before classes start!"
At my protest...
Thalia tilted her head.
"But you might wake up earlier than class time, Lord Edwin. I am your retainer and escort. It is an escort's duty to wake up before their lord and guard their side."
Unbelievable.
So, whenever I overslept, Thalia was just kneeling there, staring blankly at me until I woke up?
"...And if I don't wake up?"
"I would wait until it is time to leave for class, then wake you."
Whoa.
Thalia is terrifying! Absolutely terrifying!!
I thought she was just a classic tsundere all this time.
But is she actually a #Obsessive #Yandere?
Come to think of it, even on the day I coughed up a bucket of blood onto my bed, Thalia had already sneaked into my room at dawn.
Affinity Level: [Loyalty and Devotion]
No, seriously, does it make sense for her affinity level to be listed as [Loyalty and Devotion]? Anyone looking at this would see it as a sticky, obsessive, twisted kind of affection. Hey, status window, are you sure about this?
A shiver ran down my spine.
"Lord Edwin, do you need to use the restroom?"
"I'm shivering because you're scaring me!"
Hmm.
No matter how I look at it, completing the [Trust] quest should be a total breeze at this rate. If I told her to get into bed with me right now, wouldn't she blush and slide right in?
"Thalia. Can I sleep a bit more?"
"Yes, you did wake up quite early."
"Mmm, but you see, Thalia... I just had a nightmare and I'm a little scared. Could you sleep in bed with me...?"
"...?"
Immediately, a look of cold contempt shot back at me.
Right.
Of course.
That's the Thalia I know.
"I'm joking. Don't be mad."
"You had better be."
It seemed completing this quest was still a long way off.
Thalia glared at me for a moment before speaking.
"So, what was that strange thing you said earlier? All that talk about obsession, curses, and cheesing..."
Ah, right.
I quickly made up an excuse.
"...It was a nightmare. A nightmare. I just told you, I had a nightmare. I was so glad to wake up from it that I was just babbling nonsense."
"Is that true? Hmm... It isn't because of Professor Cordelia's experiments, is it?"
Huh? Is it?
I felt tempted by her question.
I already used this excuse last time anyway.
Should I just turn Cordelia into a complete psycho mad scientist witch while I'm at it? Should I blame all my bizarre behavior on her?
Ah, no.
No matter how crazy she is, she's still helping me.
Besides, she secretly likes me, doesn't she? Yeah. We've even kissed, so I can't just betray her loyalty like this...
"...Or is it that you are actually up to something strange, Lord Edwin...?"
"—Actually, it is because of Professor Cordelia! Ever since I started helping with her experiments, my nightmares have gotten worse. But she said it wouldn't be a big deal, so it should be fine, right?!"
I'm sorry, Cordelia.
I had no choice.
I'll have to buy her something delicious later to make up for it.
"I knew it... I suspected as much."
Thalia's eyes grew sharp.
Suspicion, distrust, and the worry hidden beneath them.
I wanted to make an excuse, but since I had already committed to the lie, there was nothing more I could say.
"Don't worry too much. Professor Cordelia might seem suspicious, but I have my reasons for meeting her..."
"In that case, I shall go with you."
Thalia cut me off.
A sense of dread crept up my spine.
"Go with me where?"
"To Professor Cordelia's laboratory."
Thalia spoke with a face that showed she wasn't joking in the slightest.
"I must verify for myself whether the experiments that woman is performing on you are harmful or not."
...What?
I'm screwed.
I could already see how this would play out.
Thalia would probably ask something like this:
'You damn psycho of a woman. What on earth did you do to make him look half-dead every night? Now he's even babbling nonsense!'
Then Cordelia would reply:
'What is this girl talking about? I haven't even started any experiments yet. Half-dead every night? Are you talking about the assassination attempts?'
'Huh?'
'Huh?'
Bad End.
No, this cannot happen.
Selling Cordelia out had backfired on me spectacularly.
Now that it had come to this, there was only one solution.
First, send Thalia back. Then, sneak over to Cordelia right now and get our stories straight.
After that, I would go meet Cordelia with Thalia after classes ended.
That was the only way out.
"...Alright, I get it. I'm going to sleep a bit more, so it'd be better if you went back to your dorm, Thalia."
"Pardon? I shall wait here while you sleep, Lord Edwin."
But of course, Thalia was stubborn.
She flatly refused.
"Come on, I can't sleep with you here, it's uncomfortable. And guys in the morning... well, they show some embarrassing things. You know?"
I intentionally brought up an awkward topic, but...
Thalia replied as if it were nothing.
"That is hardly news. It is a sight I see every single morning anyway."
So Thalia really was watching me pitch a tent in my underwear every morning?
No way.
She's a total pervert!
"Thalia, are you secretly a pervert?"
"It is rather rich coming from the person who wakes up in that very underwear every morning to be dressed by me."
Instantly shut down.
I had no comeback.
I resorted to throwing a tantrum.
"Whatever, I don't care, it's creepy! I am currently experiencing sexual humiliation!! If you don't leave right now, I'm calling for help!!"
Her gaze turned ice-cold.
Thalia stared at me in silence before finally letting out a sigh.
"...If you insist to that extent, Lord Edwin, I understand. I shall return in time for classes."
Yes!
I turned around and lay down as if nothing was wrong.
"Yeah. See you in a bit. I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep a little more."
Having barely managed to send Thalia away...
I pretended to sleep and listened for the sound of the door closing.
It sounded like she had left.
Only after counting to a thousand in my head did I finally get out of bed.
Mommy Cordelia, Mommy Cordelia!
Please help me just this once. I beg of you!
I quickly dressed, slipped out through the window, and headed toward the faculty dormitory. Then, I picked up a few small pebbles and carefully tossed them at her window.
Tap, tap-tap.
After the sound repeated a few times...
The window finally opened.
"Edwin? What brings you here at this hour...?"
"There's no time to explain! Please let me in...!"
Cordelia tilted her head in confusion, but...
She quietly opened the dormitory door for me anyway.
"...What is going on? Did you come to help with my research first thing in the morning? Is that girl over there helping with my research too?"
"No, I was planning to come in the evening. Actually, there's a situation... Wait, what?"
That... girl?
Just as her words registered in my brain...
A voice drifted from behind me.
"You have sharp instincts."
Oh, my god.
Goosebumps erupted all over my body.
I turned my head as stiffly as an ungreased machine. Standing there was Thalia, her eyes burning with a fierce light.
"Isn't it rather silly to think you wouldn't get caught with such a clumsy hiding spot? Come on in. You too."
Cordelia offered a faint smile,
And pulled me in by the wrist.
"Ah..."
As I was dragged inside...
I saw Thalia following us, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword as she glared daggers at Cordelia and me.
The world was fading to black.
Edwin.
Currently getting absolutely screwed in real-time.