What Was Your Dream, Cosmo?
Drip. Drip-drop. The rain falling on the already gloomy gray city made the place look even more like an ancient ruin abandoned after the apocalypse.
Rebar jutted from the collapsed outer walls of buildings, and thick dust had settled over the cracked concrete floors. The fissures ran all the way to the pillars, making it hardly a suitable shelter. It was in that unsuitable spot that I was resting when my partner said something embarrassing to me.
I had been staring blankly at the scratches on the floor, but now I lifted my head with effort and looked at Yuni.
“What’s with that out of the blue, Yuni?”
“The weather’s like this, so I asked. Isn’t it the perfect atmosphere? It suits this kind of story.”
The humidity made it hard to breathe, my body felt heavy, and my mood was foul—yet she called it the perfect atmosphere? Even though she was my partner, Yuni sometimes showed a sensibility that was hard to understand.
The cat-like partner spun once in the air, as if thrilled by something. I watched her exaggerated movements—reminiscent of circus animals performing tricks—then spoke.
“Haa… I still don’t get you.”
“It’s already been three years. Since we first met.”
“Time really flies.” In the worst possible way.
The frustration that had built up in my chest burst out as a sigh. It was a thin, long exhale, invisible like cigarette smoke, so I couldn’t tell where it was headed.
Yuni finally noticed that my mood was terrible and came flying over. She bumped her head against me first, rubbing her cheek on mine like an affectionate dog-cat hybrid.
“Get off.”
“Why~?”
“It’s annoying.”
“Tch. You’re still no fun, Cosmo… You could at least play along once in a while.”
Even while pretending to sulk, she settled neatly on my left shoulder. I had to admit it was impressive.
Yuni spoke again. “…Is it still the same? That plan to return to Earth.”
“Yeah. That’s exactly why I’m doing this magical girl thing that was never in my fate.”
“Isn’t this place nice too?”
“This place?”
Unbelievable. It was so absurd I had to ask.
“Monsters are pouring out and the world is on the brink of destruction, and you think that’s nice? Are you out of your mind?”
“W-well, that’s true, but you get to use magic you only ever imagined before. Plus, you’ve become a cute girl on the outside.”
“I never wanted any of that.”
“Really? Then what did the old Cosmo want to do before becoming a magical girl?”
The me before becoming a magical girl. In other words, the dream that twenty-five-year-old Kim Jihoon—ordinary university student on Earth—had held.
Listening to the wet patter of rain, I thought it over, but it really wasn’t anything special. It was a wish that, like this city, had been ruined beyond repair.
“I just wanted to live an ordinary life.”
“Huh?”
“I wanted to spend ordinary days with my little sister… without worrying about money, just enjoying ourselves.”
When an unusually personal story slipped out of me, Yuni looked genuinely surprised.
“Money, huh… That doesn’t sound like you, Cosmo.”
“But back then I was desperate.”
“Why? Did something happen?”
I had never felt the need to tell her any of this before, so bringing it up felt incredibly careful. Still, it was something I would have to say eventually. I decided today was as good a day as any.
After all, I might end up spending far more time with her than the years we had already known each other. If I couldn’t even trust my own mascot in this ruined world, I wouldn’t be able to trust anyone.
“…My parents passed away a little early. From the time I started to grow up, I was already the head of the family.”
My past came out bit by bit.
“There wasn’t a single part-time job I hadn’t tried. Convenience stores, restaurants, delivery, bars, factories, construction… If it paid, I did it. My university grades went to hell because of it, though.”
“But you’re smart, Cosmo.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere. Yeah, even if I’m smart like you say, attendance was barely enough to pass, so my grades had no choice but to suffer. I often couldn’t finish assignments because I was too busy working.”
“…It must have been really tough.”
“If I’d been alone, I could have scraped by somehow. But I had family I needed to protect, so I fought like hell.”
Looking back, those memories were nothing but hardship.
“How old is your sister?”
“Eight years younger than me… so she should be twenty now. I wonder if Jia did okay on her college entrance exam. I’m worried.”
She was left all alone without me. How had she survived these three years?
Thanks to Yuni’s question, I was suddenly overwhelmed with worry for the sister who must be on her own.
“…I want to go back.”
“Is that your current wish, Cosmo?”
“Ha… It’s not just now. It’s been my wish from the very beginning—long before I became a magical girl.”
“Then that must be your Root.”
“My what…?”
“Root. The foundation rooted in a magical girl’s heart. The reason she can wield magic freely. And the source of her Unique Magic. The power of the Root settled inside you is exactly that mindset. …It’s a little sad, from my perspective.”
The Root is the mindset settled deep within a magical girl. Or her goal, dream, hope, ideal, original intention… It is composed of many such attributes.
It may seem scattered, but in summary, it can be expressed as a person’s inner self. It is the heart that melts into the emotional changes a normal person experiences upon becoming a magical girl, and it is also the wellspring of her power as one.
“Earlier you all said that the Kernel interprets the magic circle, right?”
“Y-yeah, we did…?”
It was a one-line summary of everything I had taught them so far. But that had been a simplified explanation for the children, one that left out the concept of the Root.
“To be precise, the Root guides the Kernel so it can understand the magic circle. If I had to compare it, the Root is the Kernel’s guideline, its rulebook, its teacher. If you want to demean the role, you could even call it a translator.”
The class president brought a slender finger to her chin, thinking hard, then asked if she had understood correctly.
“So the Root decides how the Kernel interprets the magic circle?”
“Exactly right. Yes. Even though the Root is nothing more than a heart, it influences the very magic a magical girl uses.”
“So that’s why you said magic isn’t fixed, sis.”
“A-amazing…. It means you can express m-magic differently depending on your heart.”
“Then does understanding your own Root let you become an outstanding magical girl?”
“That’s true, but it’s also not.”
“What do you mean?”
The little one looked utterly confused by my words, clearly flustered. It couldn’t be helped. I could have simply told them “of course” in front of the kids, but I had to prepare for every possibility.
“Just because you know your Root doesn’t mean your magic skills will improve on their own. You still have to study consistently and train hard for your skills to grow.”
“For a second I thought there was a side effect. You almost gave me a heart attack, sis! You’re stating the obvious! Do I look like the kind of person who would get lazy just because I perfectly understood my Root?”
“That’s not what I…”
“Why are you trailing off? It’s suspicious.”
No, it was because a yawn suddenly came out. A yawn. I’d been talking to you guys nonstop and my stamina was starting to give out, that’s all.
“Huaaam. It’s a yawn. There’s no way I would underestimate you like that, kid.”
“Right? You wouldn’t, right? There’s no way you’d look at me like that. Yeah. Who do you think I am? I’m the genius the media calls a prodigy, yet I never get arrogant and train hard every single day. There’s no way you wouldn’t know that. Yep. Exactly.”
“As expected, Y-Yuri is amazing even though she’s so young….”
“That’s right. Well done, our Yuri.”
“Hehe. Thanks, Miju sis. You too, Seyeol sis.”
The sight of the little one happily receiving head pats from the older girls who were bigger than her was genuinely heartwarming. She looked incredibly happy sandwiched between the much larger sisters, and it occurred to me that Yuri might have been lacking in recognition for a long time.
I should praise her more often from now on. It seemed she really wanted acknowledgment from me, too.
“Want a praise sticker?”
“Yes! If you give me one, I’m the best, sis!”
“…Wait, wasn’t it supposed to be given only if you answered the questions well?”
“Th-the rules are weird, Jihye!”
Even before ending up in this body, I had never been good at giving praise or embarrassing compliments, so it was hard to say them out loud. I tried to just hand out praise stickers instead, but pressure came at me from the side.
Kids… I never set any particular rules for giving out praise stickers. So could you dial back those looks? They’re a little scary.
“Whatever… just take them. Even if you have a lot of stickers they’re useless anyway, right? …Pfft.”
“Still, the feeling is different.”
“Th-this is unfair… It’s discrimination….”
“Ah… Yeah. Now that I think about it, it does seem a bit unfair. The rest of us worked hard to earn ours, but it feels like I just got them for free….”
Her conscience must have pricked her, because the little one started glancing at the class president and Miju, then eventually shrank back. Even though Yuri usually had a confident and proud personality, she wasn’t shameless enough to ignore unfairness, so she lowered her head in the end.
“Okay. Let’s just move on. Anyway, to finish what I was saying earlier, the Root is the place where you make a promise with the Kernel about the meaning of the magic circle. That’s why understanding your Root lets you change the promise of magic. It’s like changing the language settings in a game or a movie.”