How Do My Breasts Look?
I’m usually not one to focus in class, but today was even worse. “Ughhh……” As soon as the final lecture ended, I slumped over my desk like a ragdoll. I’m exhausted. My head is throbbing. Was it because I paid too much attention? Hardly. I didn't sleep, but I didn't exactly listen to the lecture, either. I just stared blankly at the professor pacing back and forth in front of the screen, my mind wandering elsewhere. I’ve been distracted all day long. ……And it’s all because of Park Siho.
Siho has always been simple. If he likes something, he likes it. If he hates it, he hates it. His likes and dislikes are clear, and since his emotions are always written all over his face, it’s easy to tell what he’s thinking. But this time? I have no clue. I have absolutely no idea……! What is he thinking? What is he planning?
I’ve spent hours retracing our fifteen-year history, but I can’t find an answer. So, does he want to date, or does he not want to date……? If he really wanted to, he would’ve said so when Yesol asked him. That way, they could have some "some" (flirty tension), get all cozy, and let things flow in a good direction. If I had to voice a personal wish…… I’d want Siho to want to date. With me.
“What the hell is his deal……” I mumbled, rubbing my face against my bag. Or maybe…… was Yesol just not his type? If I analyzed the AV big data stored on Siho’s external hard drive, that’s a distinct possibility. To really know his true taste, I’d have to check the photo album on his phone, where the most private things are kept. But even if we are childhood friends, there are things you can show and things you can’t. If I can’t show him mine, I shouldn't ask to see his.
“Choa, let’s go.” Hyena shook my shoulder as I lay there limp like a slime. “Yeah, let’s go……”
“Why are you so drained today?” I tapped my cheeks with both hands. It’s annoying. Get a grip, Yu Choa. It’s absurd that I’m being swayed by that guy Siho. Even if I’m the one letting myself be swayed…… it’s still annoying.
“Guys, Hyunwoo oppa says we should go get drinks?” Yesol joined us.
“I’m not drinking.”
“Again?”
“I don’t like alcohol, and I can’t drink it anyway……” Above all, I’m not in the mood to drink. No, wait. Maybe I *do* want to drink to forget this frustration, even if just for a moment. Should I have a drink for the first time in a while? I think about it often, but I have really unhealthy habits. Relieving stress through masturbation and trying to solve my worries with alcohol. I’m trying to escape reality through momentary pleasure, no matter what. But what can I do? I have no idea what the answer is.
After settling my thoughts, I corrected my answer. “Actually, never mind. I’ll drink for the first time in a while.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
When I said I’d go to the drinking party, Hyena asked worriedly, “You can’t even drink a single glass of beer, are you sure?”
“I can manage one glass.”
Yesol hugged me as if she were trying to swallow me whole. “Don’t you dare back out.”
“I won’t.”
“Wow, Yu Choa is finally showing up to a drinking party after months.” Yesol was already excited, even without a drop of alcohol. It’s true, I rarely go to these things. The last time was at the end of the first semester of freshman year. And I didn't even go because I wanted to drink; I went because I was curious about what a "closing party" was like.
“What’s up with these guys? People who said they weren't coming are suddenly showing up because they heard Choa is coming.” Yesol grumbled while looking at her phone. Still, she looked happy. After all, it’s a place where men are gathering.
***
10:00 PM. It’s the time I returned home after working out. I was in great condition today, so I crushed 1 hour and 20 minutes of anaerobic exercise and 40 minutes of cardio. My arms and legs feel stiff, as if they’re being pulled. I think I’ll be able to sleep well tonight.
“……It’s quiet today, isn't it?” I lay on my bed, staring blankly at my phone, which had no notifications. Usually, this would be the time Choa would text me to play a game. Or she would have asked me to send her some "material."
“Well, some days are like that.” I turned on my computer. I logged into the game Choa plays and checked the friend list. Offline. Steam is offline, too. Choa’s account is set to auto-login as soon as the computer turns on. Being offline means the computer is off.
“Yu Choa is sleeping at this hour?” That’s impossible. She’s a homebody. A gamer. Her average bedtime is 2:00 AM. Even if she has an early class the next day, she plays games until dawn before sleeping.
“Why am I overthinking this……” Some days are just like that. I lay on my bed and killed time watching YouTube. “Come to think of it, the blind date……” I asked for one, but I should cancel it. I asked for it to make her jealous, but it failed. If she were jealous, she would have actively tried to stop me, but she didn't show any signs of that. The operation failed. So, the blind date is off. It’s a huge discourtesy to use a complete stranger for my own personal matters. The part about wanting to date once was a lie, too. No, that’s not entirely a lie. I do want to date, but the person I want to date is already decided.
I sent a text to Choa. Not because I’m bored. I’m sending it to tell her as soon as possible that I’m not going on that blind date. I’m really not bored.
No reply. “Is she really sleeping?” It’s strangely bothering me today. After hesitating, I got up from my bed and headed to the apartment next door. “I have to tell her quickly that I’m not going on the blind date.” I muttered that excuse to myself as I entered her place to see her face. We enter each other’s apartments whenever we want using our passwords anyway, so it’s fine to just barge in like this.
“What? She’s not back yet?” I thought she’d be sleeping, but she wasn't. Choa wasn't home. “……What time does she think it is?” For a college student, this is prime time to be active, but for Choa, this is time to be home. There are exceptions, of course. But whenever such an exception occurs, she always lets me know. I called Choa. Out and about until this hour without even checking her texts.
“Why aren't you answering the phone?” I called again, and again. On the fifth try.
“Hello?” She answered. The loud music blaring through the speaker made my ears ring for a second. I squinted and brought the phone back to my ear. “Hello!” I raised my voice slightly. A voice came from the other side of the speaker.
[Hello?]
Because of the music, the person who picked up also raised her voice. But it wasn't Choa. It was another woman. I pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment to check the screen.
【Rice Parasite】
I definitely called Choa. “Who is this?”
[I’m Choa’s friend! Choa got drunk, so I answered for her!]
“She’s drunk?” That lightweight actually went out to drink? She gets bright red and starts babbling after just one small can of beer. My head started spinning. “Where are you?”
After hearing the location of the bar, I grabbed my clothes and headed over. Fortunately, it was within walking distance. When I entered the bar, I saw a group of men and women gathered at a large table. And I spotted Choa immediately. She was hanging her head low, looking like she felt sick.
“Choa, if you don’t feel well, should we leave?”
“Ughhh……”
“You want to leave?”
“Ugh……”
“Yeah, let’s go outside and rest.”
“Hey, you.” I slapped away the hand of a man who was hovering around Choa with a sleazy look on his face. The man glared at me. It wasn't just him. The other people enjoying the party also stared at me, the outsider who had suddenly appeared.
“Oh? Siho-ssi?” There was a familiar face, too. Han Yesol. The woman I had coffee with earlier today. “Did you come to drink, too, Siho-ssi? Want to join us?” Han Yesol, who seemed quite tipsy, pushed aside the male student next to her and patted the seat beside her.
“No. I didn't come to drink.” I looked back at the man next to Choa. “I came to pick up Choa.”
“What? Why?”
That was when—
“Ah!” A woman approached me. “Were you the one who called just now?”
“Yes.” I knew this woman, too. I’d only seen her once yesterday, but I remembered her because she was Choa’s friend. Oh Hyena. That was definitely her name.
“Ah……” Oh Hyena nodded a few times and said, “Please take Choa home safely.”
“I will.” I glared at the man next to Choa and helped her up as she made strange, incoherent sounds.
“Fuck, who the hell are you?” The man, having drunk a potion of courage, jumped to his feet. It looked like he was angry because another hunter had snatched the prey he had been targeting. “Who are you to take Choa?” The way he was trying to act tough while slurring his words……
“Her childhood friend.”
“W-what?”
“Her 15-year childhood friend.”
I answered firmly and led Choa out of the bar. I could hear him shouting something behind me, but I didn't know what he was saying. And I didn't care. I hoisted Choa onto my back. “How much did you drink?” Choa’s breath was mixed with the sweet scent of soju. We arrived at the apartment. I went into Choa’s place and laid her down on the bed. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and went to her.
“Hey, drink some water and sleep.”
“Uh… hehe……”
“I said drink some water and sleep.”
“Ung… water……” She held out both hands, asking for it. I put the water bottle in her hands.
“Ugh… un… open it.”
“You’re really something else.” I opened the cap and handed it back to her.
“Ah…!” As she tried to drink, she let the bottle slip from her hands, and Choa spilled the water all over her chest. “It’s wet… it feels cool… hehe…” I’ve never seen her get this drunk. Even when she drank before, she always controlled herself and sipped it slowly.
“Did something bad happen today?” At my question, Choa narrowed her eyes and looked up at me.
“Uh… a really bad thing… sigh……” As if the memory came back to her, Choa frowned.
“What happened?” Listening to Choa’s complaints or worries is my specialty. Or is it? If she really had a problem, she would have come to drink with me instead of someone else.
“Hey…… Park Siho……” Choa looked up at me for a long time with a slightly pouty face. Then—
“Hey! What are you doing!” Choa pulled the sweater she was wearing up to her chest. At the same time, she unhooked her bra and pulled it off. Her luscious breasts, which had been neatly tucked away in her bra, spilled out and swayed. It’s the first time I’ve seen them in person since we were in middle school. Compared to back then, they had achieved incredible growth. The living room light streaming through the wide-open bedroom door reflected off her chest, illuminating her white, smooth skin. And… even the pink nipples protruding sharply from the tips of her breasts.
“……How do my breasts look?” Choa held her under-breasts as if to support them, lifting them up for me to see.