The Hangover and the Hidden Truth
I massaged my eyelids, pressing down hard. "Sigh..." The sigh I let out was heavy with deep fatigue. In the end, I hadn't slept a wink. Sleeping was flat-out impossible. Whenever I closed my eyes, pink cherries flickered across the blackness of my eyelids. When I opened them, a pair of voluptuous mounds—the very symbol of motherhood—loomed in my vision. To soothe my agitated mind, I had jerked off five times. It was completely useless. My dick, apparently convinced it was finally time for the real deal, remained rock-hard and refused to back down. Every time I tried to imagine Choa's naked body to help me finish, it seemed to mistake it for a green light to start the main event, swelling up to its absolute limit.
"What the hell did I do...?" I squeezed my eyes shut. No matter what kind of jokes Choa and I played on each other, as long as we didn't cross the line, we could always laugh it off as just a joke. But this time, I couldn't do that. It wasn't a joke to begin with. From Choa's perspective, she was probably just drunk, out of her mind, and spouting nonsense. But to me, who had taken it seriously, her drunken ramblings were anything but a joke.
...I touched my childhood friend's breasts. And that wasn't all. I squeezed and kneaded them, pinched her nipples, and in the end, I even sucked on them and gently bit her nipples. I only managed to snap out of it because Choa fell asleep halfway through. If she hadn't, I might have completely crossed the line and gone all the way. Seriously, all the way. I would have graduated from being a virgin and, at the same time, graduated from our friendship.
"This is driving me crazy." I had no idea how to face Choa. The best-case scenario would be if she didn't remember a single thing about last night. It was a coward's way of thinking, trying to run away from the situation. But the truth was, I was terrified. What I feared most was our relationship becoming awkward because of this. Awkwardness leads to distance. Distance leads to neglect, and eventually, drifting apart completely. We thought of each other as family, but we weren't actual family. Even if real family members fell out, they were still bound by the unbreakable ties of blood. For us, if we fell out, that was the end. That was what scared me. Choa, who brilliantly adorned almost every page of my memories—if she vanished from my life, the vast majority of my past would turn into a bitter, painful memory.
"...Should I apologize first?" I didn't know. I didn't know what to say, or what face to make when I saw her. I had absolutely no clue. I went outside to clear my head. It was early morning. I walked down the street, breathing in the damp morning air. It was quiet. The occasional sound of a passing car echoed like a distant wave, and the sweeping of a street sweeper's broom created a gentle, rhythmic rustle. Unlike my mind, which felt like a raging whirlpool, the world was incredibly peaceful.
"Sigh..." Letting out sigh after sigh, I headed to a 24-hour bean sprout soup place. Even though it was early, there were quite a few customers inside. Some were grabbing a quick breakfast, some were curing their hangovers, and others were already downing a morning glass of soju.
"Two orders of bean sprout soup to go, please." "Sure thing." Although the thought of facing Choa right now made my stomach churn, I was still worried about her waking up with a terrible hangover. That was why I came to get the soup. I planned to just leave it at her place. That way, she could eat it and cure her hangover when she woke up.
"Here are your two soups." Clutching the takeout bags, I headed back to the apartment building.
The elevator doors slid open. And there she was.
"..."
"..."
My eyes locked with Choa's in the hallway. Her hair was a messy nest, and her face was pale with exhaustion. She was standing right in front of my door, as if she had been about to walk in. A brief silence hung in the air. I swallowed hard and resolved to act completely normal.
"You can't even hold your liquor. How much did you drink last night?" I held up the takeout bags. "I bought some bean sprout soup. Eat up and cure that hangover." Choa blinked, then let out a soft, goofy giggle. "Hehe, I knew I could count on my childhood friend."
Act natural. Act natural. Act natural. I did my absolute best to behave exactly as I always did. "Ugh, I'm dying," Choa groaned, face-planting onto the dining table. "Then why did you drink so much?" "I don't know... It just went down so smoothly..." I unpacked the containers and set the soup on the table. "How's your stomach?" "It's fine." "You want hot peppers in yours?" "Yeah." Choa picked up her spoon and took a sip of the broth. "Ahhh... now that's what I'm talking about." Her brow furrowed in pure, hangover-curing bliss. I kept stealing glances at her as I began to eat. Slurp. The only sound in the living room was the noise of us eating. Normally, we could eat in complete silence without a single hint of awkwardness. Today, it felt suffocatingly awkward. But it seemed I was the only one feeling it. Looking at Choa, she really didn't seem to remember anything from last night. Should I just let it slide? I was pondering this over a spoonful of broth when she spoke up.
"By the way, how did I get home last night?" "Cough! Hack!" The spicy broth went down the wrong pipe, sending me into a violent coughing fit. I had been planning to let it slide quietly, but she just had to bring it up first.
"What are you doing?" "I... I just swallowed wrong." I rushed to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of cold water, and chugged it down. Choa watched me with a look of utter pity before continuing. "I don't remember anything from last night. I remember drinking at the bar, but then... it felt like I blinked, and suddenly I was lying in my own bed. It's like a chunk of time was just deleted." It really seemed like she had no memory of what happened.
"Seriously, you need to stop drinking." I sat back down at the table. "I carried you home on my back last night." "Really?" "Yeah, you pig." "Who are you calling a pig?" "I thought my spine was going to snap." "Pff, that's just because your muscles are all show. I'm light as a feather." This was the usual Choa. Our usual banter. My heart did a nervous flutter at the thought of how easily this could have been shattered.
"But how did you know where I was?" "I called you." "Did I answer?" "No, your friend did." "Ah, I see." Choa nodded in understanding. "But seriously, what were you thinking? You can't even drink, yet you got completely wasted in a place full of guys?" "Ah... well..." "Do you have any idea how dangerous the world is these days?" "Ugh... my head..." Choa massaged her temples as if she could already feel the nagging starting. "Men are beasts." Honestly, I had no right to say that. Thinking back to last night, I was the biggest beast of them all. Just then, Choa looked up, her eyes narrowing slightly as she stared at me. "...So, are you a beast too?" I shut my mouth tight. If I said no, I'd be a total hypocrite. But I couldn't exactly say yes, either. While I was struggling to formulate an answer, Choa rested her chin on her hand and sighed. "Well, at least not to me. Since you don't even see me as a woman."
Choa was making a massive mistake. We were so close that we acted like same-sex friends, but I absolutely, 100% viewed her as a member of the opposite sex. "Actually, I do." "Huh...?" "I do think of you as a woman." "What...?" Choa's eyes widened. Her pupils trembled slightly. She clearly hadn't expected that kind of answer. I did see her as a woman. I didn't mean it in a purely biological sense, but in terms of our relationship. I saw Choa as a woman—and a romantic interest at that. I only hid it because of our unique status as childhood friends. In fact, I wanted to turn the question back on her. Do you see me as a man? But I held back, knowing such a question would only make things awkward. "I mean, what else would I think of you as? A guy?" I added playfully, trying to keep the mood light. "Ah... God, don't scare me like that." Choa narrowed her eyes in annoyance and grumbled. "For a second, I thought you actually had romantic feelings for me or something." "As if." "Yeah, obviously not." We both laughed it off and continued eating. I had no idea if the food was going into my mouth or my nose.
"I'll buy you something delicious for dinner." "Omakase." "Omakase my ass. You want to die?" After finishing the soup and curing my hangover, I went back to my own apartment. I flopped onto my bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. Thump-thump, thump-thump. My heart was beating like crazy. My face burned hot.
"Mmmphhh!" I covered my face with both hands, muffling a scream. I had lied. I pretended like I didn't remember a single thing about last night, but I actually remembered. Not everything, but I had a vivid memory of Siho carrying me home on his back, and of me using my drunkenness as an excuse to do something incredibly bold to him. At first, I thought it was a dream. But when I woke up this morning and looked at my chest, the red hickey left on my breast and the faint teeth marks on my areola made it painfully clear that it wasn't a dream at all. Yesterday... Siho sucked on my breast. And it was because I had begged him to.
"Mmmph! Ahhh!" I thrashed around on the bed like a freshly caught fish. Are you insane, Yu Choa?! What on earth were you thinking?! And on top of that... "Who the hell falls asleep in a moment like that?!" I had been lying there, enjoying the sensation of Siho sucking on my breast, and then I had just drifted off to sleep. What an absolute idiot. If we had gone any further, we definitely would have ended up having sex. We could have made it an official, undeniable reality!
"No, but putting that aside...!" What I understood least of all was Siho's attitude. He had acted completely normal, as if absolutely nothing had happened last night. It was a bit frustrating, but at the same time, I was grateful. Pretending not to know was probably his way of being considerate. He was trying to cover up my embarrassing drunken behavior. After all, reminding someone of the stupid things they did while drunk is just a recipe for mortification. If he hadn't done that, things would have gotten incredibly awkward. If even one of us had shown any sign of remembering, the tension would have been unbearable. And I absolutely did not want that. An awkward future with Siho... I couldn't even begin to imagine it.
"Waaah!" But still... still! It was so frustrating! If he had done that because he liked me, I would have been thrilled. But I couldn't understand why he would do something like that if he didn't have any romantic feelings for me. Was he just a pervert...? No. The Siho I knew was a decent, upright guy who would reject a drunk girl even if she bared her breasts and begged him to bite her nipples. So why? Knowing his personality made his actions yesterday even more baffling. It wasn't like Siho was drunk, either. He was completely sober.
"Could it be... that he likes me?" Maybe he sucked my breast because he actually had feelings for me. "...No, probably not." Judging by how firm and casual he was this morning, that didn't seem to be the case. Besides, he had never shown even a hint of liking me as a woman before. It only made things more confusing. They say men are simple creatures, but he wasn't simple at all.