episode 1
Episode 1
“Aren’t you going to get up? What did you do to deserve lying there?”
Tears blur my vision.
My mouth tastes like blood. Maybe my brain was jolted when I was hit—I can’t keep my balance.
Still, I have to get up. Otherwise, I’ll get hit again.
“You know what you just did, right? Is this how I raised you?”
“Ugh… My own child—a pervert who steals his younger brother’s clothes to wear… Bite down hard on this. I won’t go easy on you just because you’re young. Stand up straight.”
Dad’s metal baseball bat… He’s holding it and getting into position.
I, too, silently get into position. I turn around and stick my butt out. I don’t try to block it with my hands.
Even if my hands were broken, I know he would never stop hitting me, so this is the rational thing to do.
A dull thud echoes through the once-quiet house.
Not wanting to hear him tell me to be quiet, I held back my cries and just let the tears flow as I took the blows.
I was hit, hit, and hit again. My buttocks have lost all sensation.
As I stared at the grain of the wooden floor, the violence ended before I knew it.
“Do this again, and you’re going to the police station. Got it?”
He yelled at the top of his lungs and stormed out of the house.
I was finally alone. Since I was alone, I didn’t bother taking my clothes off.
I’m used to being beaten like this. I’ve become immune to the pain. It doesn’t hurt at all anymore. All I have to do is endure it.
So everything’s fine… fine….
“Sniff… sob…”
Tears fall onto the wooden floor.
I thought I’d gotten used to it all, but I guess that wasn’t quite the case.
Clunk
The door opened again, and someone came in.
I didn’t want that person to see me crying, so I dashed into the bathroom.
Sadly, this house doesn’t even give me time to collect my thoughts on my own.
BANG!
The bathroom door rattled violently.
“Hey, you little brat! Your dad’s back, and you don’t even say hello—you just run off to the bathroom? Are you crazy?!”
…!
The voice didn’t belong to Mom—it was Dad.
Dad had always been strict about manners, even if he didn’t interfere with other things, but he ended up getting stabbed to death by a middle schooler while harping on about those damn manners.
It’s both a relief and a surprise that he’s still alive.
But despite these positive feelings, fear creeps up from the tips of my toes.
Dad won’t stop being violent unless Mom stops him. When Mom isn’t around, my little sister has to cry and scream—even while getting hit herself—to finally get him to stop hitting me.
But my little sister definitely committed suicide around this time of year.
So… who’s going to stop Dad…?
Bang! Bang-bang!
Clank, clank, clank
Crunch
There’s no time. He’s definitely going to break down the door.
If I don’t do something…
“Ah, Dad, um, that is…”
“Would you like to make some money?”
I… said it…!
Since there’s no way to stop Dad’s rage, I decided to take a gamble and distract him.
And even though I don’t have any money right now, if Dad just cooperates, we can get out of this crappy house—it’s a win-win!
“What?”
I heard Dad’s flustered voice from the other side of the door.
I didn’t let this moment slip by and pushed my argument forward.
“Don’t you want to make some money…?! I-I don’t remember the lottery numbers, but if we buy some cryptocurrency right now, we’ll all get rich and won’t have to live in a place like this anymore…! I don’t really know much about stocks either, but if we use the money we make from crypto to buy something…!”
Aaargh, damn it, my mind’s a blank…!!!
But this is about money—there’s no way an explanation like this will convince him…
“…Open the door.”
?!
Did… I succeed?
I opened the door, just like Dad said. It’s such an important conversation—I guess I have to talk to him face-to-face…
Click.
Thud.
The moment I opened the door, Dad’s fist slammed into my face.
‘Oh shit, I’m screwed…’
Thud!
“What the hell are you saying, you insolent brat? Hey, what the fuck do you know about money? I’m the breadwinner here, you idiot! I know better than you!!!”
Struck in the face, I tumbled backward, and the back of my head took the brunt of the impact.
My vision is blurring again. I feel dizzy.
But this time, it’s a little different. This feeling of my consciousness fading away…
This isn’t good… I’ve reincarnated—what happens if I die now…
I wanted to reincarnate to change the future too… I wanted to become a powerhouse and go on a rampage…
“……”
I can no longer hear my dad yelling.
It’s quiet.
So this is what the afterlife is like—calm, a little lonely, yet reassuring.
Lying in a pitch-black void, I savor a peace I haven’t felt in a long time.
Drip…
‘I guess I’m not worthy…’
‘Not worthy of changing the future, nor of living in this world.’
Thump
I should be dead, but for some reason, I could feel my heart beating.
“’Then I’ll ruin it for you.’
Thump
My chest grew warm, and my blood began to flow. My hands and feet started to move.
‘I’ll take my revenge on this world that killed me!’
Thud
I opened my eyes on the cold bathroom floor, wracked with excruciating pain.
“Gasp… gasp…”
I clutched my chest and caught my breath.
I don’t know how much time has passed.
But I can’t sense anyone else in the house.
I stepped out of the bathroom and looked out the window—it was already dark.
“I’m alive…”
That single phrase, which suddenly welled up in my throat, eased my tension.
At the same time, rage surged from deep within my chest.
It wasn’t the kind of rage that boiled over and turned my insides upside down.
It was icy and cold… a rage that was both still and explosive.
That’s why I could maintain my sanity while coexisting with the rage rising to the very tips of my fingers.
I could think.
I could plan.
I could carry out my revenge.
Clang!
I grabbed a kitchen knife and rushed out the door without a second thought.
My head is so filled with the single thought that I must see Mom right away that I don’t even realize I’ve come out without putting on my shoes.
Gasping for breath as if my lungs were about to burst, I run to the spot where Mom smokes every day.
To the only place where that woman can feel safe…
Clunk
“Haa… haa… huff… huff…”
“You… how did you get here…?”
She’s the only person here—a place where no one ever comes.
So, in this vast, abandoned house, it’s just my mom and me.
That works out perfectly.
I’m going to kill her, so the fewer people around, the better.
Swoosh
I threaten her by thrusting the kitchen knife toward her.
“You, you’re crazy…!”
“SHUT UP!!!!!!”
The moment she opened her mouth, I yelled to shut her up.
She seemed a little flustered and angry, but she couldn’t move easily because of the knife I was holding.
I thought things were going well, but…
“Hah.”
She laughed. She definitely laughed.
She laughed even though I was holding a knife and standing in a threatening stance.
Just how much of a fool does she think I am?
Is she looking down on me this much because I don’t look like a real person, a real man?
It’s infuriating.
Infuriating, infuriating, infuriating, infuriating.
“I’ve made up my mind. I actually came here intending to kill you.”
I cut myself off, walked right up to her face—where she was calmly taking a drag on her cigarette—and pressed the kitchen knife against her throat.
“Take your clothes off.”
“…What?”
“I’ll torment you until you beg me to just kill you. Just like I was! Until your mind breaks!! So take your clothes off!!”
“Hah…”
“Why was a creature like this even born…!!!”
She stubbed out her cigarette and, paying no attention to the knife I was holding, stood up forcefully from her seat.
Fearing I might get hit again, I gripped the kitchen knife even tighter, but…
Thud, thud.
Surprisingly, she began to obediently take off her clothes, one by one.
“There! I’m naked—so what! What are you going to do about it!! If you wanted to see a creature like this, look your fill!! Look until you’re sick of it!!!”
I was overwhelmed by her sheer audacity.
It felt like there was no way I could win, and my legs trembled with deep-seated fear.
But it’s okay. In the past, I would have run away, but now my mindset is different…
Crash!!
I pounced on this woman—my mother.