Please Let the Iztomo Abuse Faction Shrink...
"It really suits you, Miss Kayano."
"Th-thank you...."
There wasn't a shred of flattery in Hikari's words. Izumi, dressed in the kimono with her help, was lovely enough that you could have called her a painting.
Cheeks faintly flushed, as if she were embarrassed, she let her gaze dart this way and that—more than enough to stir something mischievous in Hikari.
Is this how Yoru feels?
Thinking of the girl who teased her every time their eyes met, Hikari let a soft, gentle smile surface.
"We should get going soon."
"O-okay...."
Light brown hair with a healthy sheen, on a frame so much smaller than her own, and blue eyes with a mysterious cast to them—the first time Hikari saw them, she had swallowed without meaning to. And then there was the chest, far too large for a body that small. She wasn't exactly jealous, but it was certainly bigger than her own had been in her first year of middle school. Had this not been the sort of kimono meant to be worn in layer upon layer, Izumi's fruit would have announced itself to anyone who so much as glanced her way.
"H-her chest is big, and she gives off this s-sexy vibe, so sh-she's pretty."
She definitely said something like that during the second-generation group collab....
Hikari had met Ayaka before, so Izumi's remark wasn't hard to understand. But Izumi's own was quite large in its own right. No—if you took the difference in their heights into account, Izumi's chest might even have felt like the bigger of the two.
In any case, she wore Hikari's kimono to perfection, and the sight was charming enough that Hikari wanted to keep it as a watercolor. For some time to come, she suspected, the words Yamato Nadeshiko would bring this very scene back to mind.
"Um, h-how long is it to the sh-shrine...?"
"Ten minutes if we walk."
And a girl like this was called the Queen of Flame Wars out on the community boards. The world of streaming was still beyond her, Hikari was thinking—
"B-but, Senpai. There's something I was wondering...."
"Yes?"
"With a kimono... you d-don't wear underwear, right...?"
"...That was a custom from a very, very long time ago."
"So it isn't a lewd outfit. Boring...."
Izumi had let the words out at hardly more than a whisper, but Hikari, standing right beside her, heard them clearly enough. And the moment she did, she revised the thought she'd just been having.
This girl really was the Queen of Flame Wars.
"Miss Kayano."
"Yes...?"
"This should go without saying, but outside, calling me Kurokami-senpai is forbidden."
"Ah, I know."
At the culture festival, when Miss Akabane had come by, I'd called her Miss Akasaki. I had slipped at the very end and said Miss Akabane anyway, but still.
"Then what are you going to call me?"
"C-can't I just call you S-Senpai...?"
So long as I didn't use her VTuber name, it ought to be fine. But at that answer, Kurokami-senpai shook her head and crossed both hands into an X.
"Onee-san."
"...Pardon?"
"Call me Shiro-onee."
"Uh, that's...."
"How old are you now, Miss Kayano?"
"S-sixteen."
"I'm nineteen. I've already graduated high school. That makes me your onee-san, doesn't it?"
"That's.... Um, y-yes, I understand...."
"...."
"Shiro... onee?"
"Mm. Good. Then let's go."
Kurokami-senpai heard me out, smiled until her eyes curved, and nodded. Even so, being told to use her name outright felt a little much—and I erased the thought at once. She was watching me through half-lidded eyes. Refuse just then, and I was certain I would have died. A shining moment for the instincts I'd honed across forty years.
"We're here."
"So we are...."
Just as Kurokami-senpai had said, ten minutes was plenty to reach the shrine. Leave her house, walk until the wall ran out, and climb the stone steps that waited beyond it. That was all.
"Um, Miss Ko-Komachi and Miss Utagawa...."
"Mm. They messaged earlier that they'd arrived, but...."
The fortunate part was that even in the middle of hatsumode season—the first shrine visits of the year—there weren't all that many people. Not empty, of course, but with a crowd like this I was sure I could find the two of them easily enough.
"Ah, found you. Kayano! Shirasaki! Over here!"
And the one who spotted us first was Miss Koga. She was in a navy kimono, already waving, and Kurokami-senpai and I started toward her.
But hadn't she said Miss Utsumi was with her? Why was Miss Koga alone...?
"Ka~ya~no~!"
"Eek...!"
A tremendous impact slammed into me from behind, and a shiver ran the whole length of my body. I nearly went down.
"It's been so long! I missed you!"
"H-hiiik.... U-Utsu— no, Miss Uta-Utagawa.... P-please stop...!"
"No! Your onee-san is sad! You wouldn't play with me, and I was so sad, and now that I've finally caught you I don't want to let this chance go!"
"Hyaaak!"
Miss Utsumi stayed latched onto me for nearly five minutes, hands wandering everywhere, and only peeled away once Miss Koga resorted to her fists.
"I'm sorry...."
...Did everyone realize the one who'd actually been in danger wasn't me, but Miss Utsumi? That incredible chest of hers had nearly awakened a man's instincts. Yare yare daze....
"Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was, with everyone staring?"
"Hehe.... It's been so long since I saw Miss Kayano that something in me just went snap—"
"Still, it's a relief her clothes barely came undone. Putting a kimono on is complicated. If it had come loose, it would've been a real nuisance."
"Heheh. Which is to say, I know how to touch a person without ruining the set of their clothes at all...!"
"That is not a brag."
We had ended up in a corner of the shrine where almost no one was around—the result of hunting down the emptiest spot we could find, after Miss Utsumi drew far too many eyes.
"Anyway, thank you all for coming all the way here. Please take care of me again this year."
"Me too—let's all have a good year!"
"Take care of me, too."
"M-me too.... I'll be in your care."
We'd already finished our New Year's greetings over Misscode DMs, of course, but saying them face to face still felt special. If you set aside the part where I was so nervous my whole body was shaking.
"Shall we go pay our respects, then?"
And once the greetings were done, Kurokami-senpai said it with a bright smile.
A proper shrine visit in Japan is, honestly, an absurdly complicated affair. You're supposed to bow before you pass beneath the torii, purify your hands and mouth at the temizuya, and even the path you walk—and the way you walk it—is prescribed. Put simply, it was enough to make you wonder whether any of it really had to be this involved.
We decided to keep it light and informal. Stand before the saisenbako, the offertory box, ring the bell once, lightly, and offer the five yen each of us had brought. Bow twice, clap twice, and pray with your hands together.
"...."
But what was I supposed to pray to a god for?
Wanting to try a live stream was a dream I had to work for myself, not a wish I wanted a god to grant. The only thing I'd ever prayed for was something like, I want to be born a woman so I don't have to join the military. If they were going to make me a woman in Japan, where you don't have to join the military anyway, then weren't wishes to gods actually useless? Not that I was particularly unhappy with my life now.
...All right.
Then please let the Iztomo abuse faction shrink....
That ought to be enough, right?
"Whew."
Wish made, I bowed my head one last time and stepped back.
"Oh, you done, Miss Kayano?"
"Yes."
"Want some amazake?"
"Ren. Kayano's still a student."
"C'mon. It's non-alcoholic, so it's fine, Yuika-onee."
"Th-then I'll just have a l-little...."
"Okay. Here!"
Miss Utsumi had brought mine out of kindness, and refusing outright would have felt too rude. So, just a little.
"Mm...."
The sweetness peculiar to amazake wrapped my tongue and slid slowly down my throat.
...Yeah. Figures.
"It doesn't taste good...."
I'd had it a few times before, and that sticky-sweet taste amazake always had still wasn't for me.
"...You okay, Miss Kayano?"
"Huh? Yes. It just doesn't taste good, that's all...."
"No, not that."
"...?"
Miss Utsumi was staring straight at me. Did she want something...?
"So getting tipsy and going all woozy on amazake really is something you only see in anime."
"As if that would be real, you idiot."
So that was why she'd brought me amazake. I was shocked. Honestly, the fact that she'd believed something like that was a little idiotic, too, and that was a shock of its own....
"If you can't finish it, give it to me. I'll throw it out."
"Ah, yes. Here, Sh-Shiro-onee...."
"...Huh?"
"...Hm?"
I held out the cup, still more than half full, to Kurokami-senpai and let out a sigh, and for some reason Miss Koga and Miss Utsumi were both looking at me.
"Um, i-is there some kind of pr-problem...."
"Why are you calling her onee?"
"Pardon?"
"Why are you calling Shirasaki onee-san."
"B-because Shiro-onee asked me to...."
What. Had I done something wrong? Sure, my mental age was that of a hale middle-aged man in his forties, but Kurokami-senpai being older than me was still a fact, so calling her onee-san wasn't weird at all. Why were they looking at me like that...?
"Call me Yuika-onee, too."
"Call me Ren-onee!"
"...Eh? Um, Sh-Shiro-onee is my senpai, so...."
In real life she didn't seem to want to be called senpai, which was why I was calling her onee-san....
"Call me onee-san."
"I wanna be onee-san too!"
"Eep...."
In the end, it was decided that whenever we met in real life, I would call both of them onee-san. My confidence as a man tried to talk me out of it, but Miss Koga's eyes were too scary to hold out against....
"So today, um, I w-went to the shrine...."
"Huh? No. Miss Koga, Miss Utsumi, and Ku-Kurokami-senpai. The four of us...."
"If you tell someone, it w-won't come true. Anyway, I wore a kimono for the first time in forever, and not wearing un-underwear with a kimono is a custom from ages and ages ago, apparently...."
"I thought a kimono was a l-lewd outfit.... I'm disappointed...."