Sure Enough, My 150,000-Subscriber Endurance Stream Was a Mistake…
"I want to stand on a stage... and try doing a live."
It might have started with a light heart. No—it had certainly started that way, hardly a thought in her head and hardly a worry either.
Because she knew Stars Flow was her mother's subsidiary. Because she had only begun at Mom's urging. Because she was still a high school student. Because the company had let her through even while knowing exactly what kind of person she was. Because it was her first time broadcasting on the internet. Excuse after excuse, she had turned her eyes from her own clumsiness and looked anywhere else.
But there were people cheering for that clumsy girl.
She did not want to look away from that support.
"It might be h-hard for now. It might be tough. Even so, I want to try."
And more than anything—
"Streaming is actually r-really fun now. Hehe..."
Someone might sneer that they were only people she had met on the internet, faces she had never seen. To her, they were precious bonds all the same. Just being able to talk with them was a genuine joy.
...Even so, having quite this many of the abuse faction was a little much.
"Mmm. It's not that I haven't th-thought about it.... I think I still need a little more t-time."
"Th-that's not it. I've never even had a rebellious phase..."
If she set her mind to it, she could start art streams this very day. She was only putting them off because something still snagged. It was not even a reason anyone would call a problem; if anything, people might like it. But the mere fact of attention pouring in made her squirm, so she had decided to hold the art streams for later. When she actually asked Aunt Sia, the answer that came back was that waiting would be better.
"Anyway, if I do it, it'll probably be around March...?"
"It's not like I'm n-never doing it. J-just wait a little longer."
They drifted through one topic and another, and before she knew it the display that tracked her subscribers had climbed.
It had been the low 140,000s when she went live, and now it sat in the middle of that range. Two hours had already passed. Mycarongs or not, the fact that she had been talking alone for two straight hours was nibbling her sanity away, bite by bite. Simple arithmetic said she still had at least two hours left. She had not even eaten dinner. What was she doing?
"Oh, right. Has everyone, um, had dinner?"
"I should e-eat too, but..."
If she had been alone, she would have grabbed whatever cereal was nearest and eaten it on stream. But it was the end of the year, Mom was home, and if she was going to have a meal she wanted it to be with her. The trouble was that this broadcast was an endurance stream whose whole point was hitting 150,000 subscribers. Stepping away in the middle for a reason like that did not feel quite right.
If she asked the Iztomo to indulge her first, though, wouldn't it be fine? She would eat with Mom and come straight back. Surely they could wait. A reason like this, everyone would understand. She was a person too. A person had to eat to live.
"U-um. So.... Would it be o-okay if I go eat dinner and come back?"
"Mmm. It's year's end, so Mom's home.... I want to eat with her if I p-possibly can."
Fortunately, the reaction was not so bad. Well, of course. If someone said they wanted to eat with their family and you objected, you would be the strange one. She had even mentioned on stream, more than once, that her older sister was living on her own and that Mom was so busy she was hardly ever home.
"Th-then I'll be back..."
What would tonight's dinner be? She ended the stream on that small, hopeful note.
Tonight's dinner was nothing short of cheese hamburg steak.
The greatest dish in the history of side dishes—if one were electing a GOAT, this would unquestionably make the rankings. And their house did not simply lay the cheese on top. They opened a pocket in the patty and packed that pocket full of cheese.
Now and then someone sneered that liking a hamburg steak like this meant you had a child's palate. That was the sort of thing only a fool would say. She would have liked to explain to such people exactly how perfect a food hamburg steak was—but alas, the margin was too small to contain it.
"It's delicious. Hehe."
"Mom put in a little effort, for once."
Her mother all but hummed with pride, and she answered with a raised thumb.
"...My girl. You've worked hard."
With those words, Mom suddenly stroked her hair.
"Huh? For what?"
"Today was the endurance stream for 150,000 subscribers, wasn't it? You were in the middle of that."
"...Y-yeah."
"Of course, since Mom's the one who told you to start, it might sound a little strange for me to say this.... The truth is, I regretted it. A lot."
"Hweh...?"
Regret? It was true that Mom had urged her to apply, but the one who chose had been her. And she was satisfied with the life she had now. There was nothing for Mom to regret. Was there?
"When our Mina was struggling with her streams, Mom was too busy to be beside you. When I imagined you bearing that weight all alone, I thought I never should have urged you in the first place.... I should have looked into the industry more carefully, made sure the ground under you was solid, and only then suggested it..."
As she spoke, Mom's eyes began to shine wet.
A hard time with streaming—she had to mean the calamity that erupted after the collab with Kurokami-senpai, about three months ago.
"Actually, the moment I got home after that, I wanted to tell you to quit. But then I heard what you said about Miss Koga, and I spoke with Miss Akasaki, whom I happened to run into that day, and I decided to watch a little longer.... And now, thinking you've become a VTuber that a hundred and fifty thousand people watch..."
So that day, when Mom came home and suggested they go out shopping—had she been working up to asking her to stop being a VTuber? If that was it, the thought landed harder than she expected. Then again, she had been miserable enough back then to feel she hated Mom. If Mom had returned before Natchan's live and asked whether she ought to quit, she probably would have nodded. She was deeply glad it had not gone that way.
"Mina. Right now—do you truly enjoy streaming?"
Mom's eyes looked as blunt as ever, and still there was kindness in them.
"Mmm. Mom. Were you watching my stream today?"
"...I'm sorry."
"N-no. I know that you being home doesn't mean you're in any position to rest."
Thinking about it, this was something she should have told Mom before anyone else. Mom was the reason she had been able to become Kaino Izumi at all. No—even before that, being able to meet her oshi, Natchan, was entirely thanks to Mom.
"Mom. I have a goal now. It'll be hard right away, and it'll definitely be really tough, but it's a goal I want to reach no matter what."
"A goal...?"
"Yes. Someday, I really want to do a live."
Just as Mom had said, there had been a hard season. There had been a time she wanted to abandon everything and run.
"Miss Koga is scary, but she's kind, and Miss Akabane is a tease, but she's nice. Miss Aki and Miss Utsumi... I haven't talked with them very much yet, but I want to get closer. The seniors take plenty of care of me, and the Iztomo pick on me all the time.... People tease the ones they like, don't they? And Natchan—Natchan always shines!"
But once she understood how many people stood on her side, that pain became a seed she could grow from.
"I see..."
"Mom. I really do enjoy streaming now. So you don't have to worry!"
The tears that spilled from Mom's eyes quietly traced her cheeks. She looked into those gentle eyes.
"Hehe!"
And she could smile, bright and wide.
She dropped onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
"I never thought Mom was thinking that..."
It was obvious, once she considered it. Even so, she had always believed Mom would cheer her VTuber work on, and she had not been able to imagine anything else.
"Haa."
Still, something in her chest felt lighter. Simply being able to give Mom the truth seemed to set a little more courage in her.
"I'll have to try harder from here on..."
There was the stutter to work on, and the lessons the company was covering for her. So much to do. Which meant the thing she needed to do right now—
"—is sleep..."
Maybe it was the long talk with Mom, the first in a long while, but she was tired. Recharging her strength counted as important work too.
"Mmm..."
Wait. She had the nagging sense she had forgotten something. Well. It'll be fine.