Having Somewhere to Be on Christmas Is the Mark of the In-Crowd

"We're all going to karaoke today for a Christmas ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠party. Come with us!"

"…Eh?"

A Christmas party? Was she talking about that thing you only ever saw in manga, anime, and light novels—the one where the popular kids used Christmas as an excuse to pile together and have the time of their lives? The thing that had nothing to do with me in my past life, nothing to do with me before I got those memories back, and nothing to do with me after?

"U-um…"

"We've already booked the karaoke place and everything!"

"U-um, M-Miyauchi…?"

Could you maybe think it over ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠one more time? If I show up, it'll be the classmate who hasn't met a single person outside of class in a year walking in, and the mood is guaranteed to turn unbearably awkward. They'll think I don't even have friends in class and still can't read the distance between myself and everyone else. I'll become the clueless kid who never once joined a class gathering and still shoved her way in just because it's Christmas.

"Th-that's, I, um…"

"Do you already have plans today, by any chance?"

"N-no, I don't…"

"Then… did I do something wrong?"

"Th-that's not it either…"

A shut-in loser like me, with plans on Christmas, the in-crowd's exclusive property? Not a chance, Miyauchi. And you haven't done anything wrong yet, but if I go and the party turns weird, all of that might end up being your fault. Wait. Does she want to watch a loser like me flail around at a party? After the Iztomo, is Miyauchi joining the abuse faction too?

"…"

Miyauchi's gaze stung. She reached a hand toward me, just a little, as if begging me not to refuse, and the sight was so pitiful I nearly nodded before I knew what I was doing.

"Um, c-could I just… go to the bathroom for a second, and d-decide when I get back…"

"Oh, yes! Go ahead!"

Honestly, if I could have followed my heart, I would have pretended to head for the bathroom and fled all the way home. My instincts were screaming that I couldn't do that now.

"Haa…"

What was I supposed to do? I sat alone on the toilet and turned it over, and of course my own head produced no right answer. Which left me no choice but to call in the best ally I had for a crisis like this.

I sent her a Misscode DM, and the reply came back almost at once. Kogaemon, as expected!

A popular kid really couldn't understand a shut-in's heart. The rest of the time she talked as if she read every thought I had—so why was her sense of tact gone only now, Koga?

…Or was it? She knew exactly what I was thinking, so she was doing this to torment me? If that was it, Koga was an actual demon….

"Eek…"

"Ugh…"

Koga was right. If the classes were going to change next year, when I became a second-year, I would already have fled without a second's hesitation. But our school kept you in the same class for all three years. Run now, and I had no idea what would be waiting once winter break ended.

I just hope they didn't invite me so they could make fun of me….

The streets on Christmas were a racket. Carols ringing out, ornaments glittering, every kind of event thrown together for the holiday—gaudy and chaotic, and proof, in equal measure, that people were enjoying themselves. In other words, a scene that didn't suit me in the slightest.

"This is the first time we've gone out with Kayano like this!"

"You're excited, right?"

"Haha…"

Classmates squealed all around me. Awkward. I couldn't tell what reaction they wanted. But I had an ultimate technique for situations like this—the very skill that had made me the greatest time-killer alive. Reciting the Heart Sutra in my head.

"Oh, we're here."

"…Ueh."

By the time I had run through the Heart Sutra about three times, we had arrived at the karaoke place. A Christmas tree and a flashy standing sign had been set out front for the holiday, covered in the details of one event after another—discounts, perks if you signed up as a member, that sort of thing. None of it had anything to do with me, so I couldn't muster much interest.

"Rooms A through D are all booked by our class. Just go wherever you're comfortable and have fun!"

At Miyauchi's words, the whole class started moving, each person hunting down the ones they were close to. Me? I walked into Room A, the one at the very front, without a moment's hesitation. I didn't want to linger, end up alone, and leave everyone embarrassed. Better to take a brief round of looks that said oh, she went in by herself already. Not everyone was coming into this room anyway.

"Oh, it's Kayano!"

"It really is."

The one who came in calling my name was the top of our class's social ladder, Tateyama. And the ones who followed her in were… who? The name tags, in order, read Tokuhara, Onodera, and Hayase. Were these the friends Tateyama had mentioned in Akihabara over summer break?

"Hey, Kayano!"

"First time seeing you when we all get together, huh?"

"Kayano must've had her reasons."

"Yeah. Learn how to respect people."

"Say it like that and anyone listening will think I said something awful!"

A storm of conversation with no room to breathe. I dropped my gaze and quietly nodded. Communication skills so overwhelming that even I—who had grown by clearing Arcana Shooter: Purgatory—couldn't withstand them. In front of them I was nothing but a mouse trembling before a cat.

So this is what a real ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in-crowd JK looks like? What have I even been doing on stream….

"Kayano, wanna sing first? You got here the earliest."

"Ah, I-I'm f-fine…"

It wasn't that I had no confidence in my singing. No—if it was singing, I was confident. In my past life I'd gone to karaoke alone all the time, and now I was nothing less than a bona fide TS pretty girl! If I sang now, the reaction would definitely be something like …what is that voice.

Even so, there were two reasons I wouldn't take the mic. First, I was one hundred percent confident that singing with every eye on me would make me throw up. Second, the list of songs I could actually sing was not the kind of list you pulled out among the popular kids. A long career on the internet had taught me that much: sing something like an anime soundtrack in a room full of in-crowd kids, and the mood goes ice-cold. I wasn't ashamed of being an otaku, but at a gathering like this, I could at least read the room.

"Then we'll go first?"

"O-okay…"

Not just first. They could keep singing the whole time, for all I cared. I would simply become one with this chair and kill the hours….

"Kayano."

"…Mngh."

The voice pulled me back. Tateyama was singing, and somewhere along the way Miyauchi had sat down beside me.

"Are you enjoying yourself? I feel bad, since I sort of dragged you here…"

"N-no, it's fine. I-it's true I n-never came when e-everyone got together before…"

If I were honest, I wanted to get home even a little faster. I still couldn't say that in front of Miyauchi, who was looking after me like this.

"You're not going to sing?"

"Ah, um, n-no…"

"That's a shame."

A shame how? Is she hoping my singing is a disaster so she can tease me? If that's it, I might be a little—a lot—sad.

"Um, M-Miyauchi, you don't have to stay away from your f-friends…"

"Oh, I'm making the rounds, just in case."

"I-I see."

"You always head home early, though, so we almost never get to talk like this in private. That's why I came looking for you."

"I'm s-sorry…"

If I'd had friends, I would have stayed in the classroom and chatted too. Unfortunately, I was a professional shut-in loser who valued time and efficiency. I knew there was nothing for me to do if I lingered in class, so I couldn't throw the hours away. I had to get home as fast as I could, read manga, play games, and get ready to stream.

…Put it like that, and don't I sound like I'm living an incredibly diligent life?

"Don't apologize. You must have had a hard time too. I'm grateful enough that you came today."

A hard time…? Well, sure. Every student who went to school was a tired, struggling creature.

"Y-you're always working so hard too, Miyauchi…"

How much of a nuisance must it be, having to look after even me—the one who drifted at the edge of the class—just because she was class president. I wanted to tell her I was a harmless shut-in loser who was more comfortable alone, so she didn't have to worry about me. From the seat of class president, that probably wasn't an option.

"Especially b-because of me…"

"…What? No!"

At my words Miyauchi startled and shot up from her seat. The force of it made me shrink without thinking, and the other classmates' eyes naturally swung our way.

"I'm always—always the one receiving consideration from you…!"

"…Eh?"

C-consideration?