A VTuber Is a Shut-in and an Otaku. That's Just Common Sense, Right?
"All right—last of all, it's finally Izumi-san's turn!"
For some reason, M-chan's voice seemed to tremble, just a little.
Hey, hey. You don't actually think I'm going to mess this up, do you? Don't worry, M-chan! Who am I? The one Aki-san officially certified as mature, so long as she stays quiet. The one Akabane-san took for a master. The one Utsumi-san wanted to claim as a daughter.... And above all, the one Koga-san wanted to get close to from the very first impression! That Kaino Izumi is me. As if I'd slip up over something like this.
"Th-this is what I wrote."
Aki-san: Cute
Akabane-san: Cool
Utsumi-san: Pretty
Koga-san: Kind
"Yaaawn...."
"Uh, um."
"Hmm."
"Thank you, Izumi-san!"
Huh?
I was sure I'd written nothing but nice things, so why did everyone except Utsumi-san seem distinctly unimpressed? Koga-san, especially, looked as if her mood had just... soured.
"D-don't put 'self-proclaimed' in there twice!"
Right. Everyone else had used given names, a little display of how close they'd gotten, and I was the only one who tacked on surnames and honorifics and turned it into a problem. The road to popularity was long, and steep.
"Well, there might still be parts that feel awkward."
"I said it earlier. Izumi, when she talks, is cute...."
"I'm honored Izumi-san said I was pretty!"
So they were coming around, in their own way...?
"Hmm."
No. For some reason Koga-san alone still seemed dissatisfied with something, letting out nothing but a low breath.
Wh-what did I even do wrong?
"Yaaawn...."
"...Let's just move on."
"Izumi. You seem rather well acquainted with this body of mine."
"Izumi-san, why did you think I was pretty?"
"Shameless, Ayaka."
I heard it. Everyone else was buried under whatever they each wanted to say and seemed to miss it, but I caught it cleanly—Koga-san's voice, murmuring that we ought to just let it go for now.
What about the first impression I wrote was even the problem? ...I don't know. If I were sharp enough to figure something like this out, I wouldn't have communication disorder. So I'll just let it go too!
If there was one thing I'd learned across forty years of living, all of them added together, it was that nothing is stupider than clinging to a problem that refuses to be solved. Trying to fix the fact that I'm a shut-in, for instance. Not a chance.
Which meant that, for now, I should at least answer Utsumi-san's question.
"U-Utsumi-san, your ch-chest is huge, so...."
"...Huh?"
"Huh?"
What? Saying her chest is big is a compliment. It means she's overflowing with charm, right? Ah. I didn't add the explanation.
"Your ch-chest is big, so there's this s-sexy vibe, so you're p-pretty."
"Why? Why? H-huge breasts are everyone's dream, aren't they?"
A real shame, but I am not huge-breasted. More precisely, my chest itself is on the large side, but it's a little ambiguous to call it huge—and that was more than enough to disappoint the man inside me. Which only makes sense. In the TS genre, a huge-breasted beautiful girl is basically the golden rule, isn't it? Becoming a super beautiful girl was completely satisfying, but the chest came up two percent short, and I kept catching myself thinking it would be nice if it were just a little bigger.
Of course, I've lived as a girl for sixteen years, so I know. Listen. Being huge-breasted? For a woman—especially for me—it's completely useless. Even now, when I'm not, they're heavy, they fill up with sweat, and exercise is a misery. They're nothing but a tool for propping up your self-esteem, which means that for someone like me, whose self-esteem is already garbage, they're genuinely good for nothing.
If it were still my past life, sweat pooled in a beautiful girl's cleavage would've been a straight-up reward! ...That's what I would have said. Unfortunately, I'm not enough of a narcissist to love myself to that degree.
But!
Even so, I still carry a man's sensibilities, and I can't completely give up the romance huge breasts have to offer. Utsumi-san, appearing in front of someone like me, was nothing less than the savior of that desire.
Mmm. This is difficult to explain.
Wild speculation was starting to spill through the chat. No need to panic. I'd clear it up slowly.
"A b-big chest, and being sexy, th-that means your girl power is high, right?"
"So h-high girl power means you're incredibly p-pretty...."
"All right, that's enough! I'll trust you've more or less understood what Izumi-san was trying to say! Right, Ayaka-san?"
"Y-yeah! Thank you, Izumi-san!"
Why, though. All I'd wanted to say was that a big, sexy chest is a charm only a real woman can have, and that Utsumi-san was incredibly attractive on that point. They say praise can make even a whale dance, but that turned out to be a complete lie.
Ah. Would it have been better to just say, straight out, that I wanted to grope her chest? No. Even I don't think that's it. Or else....
"All right, then we'll move on to the next topic!"
While I was still agonizing, M-chan slipped the subject along as if nothing had happened.
Are you afraid of my sincerity, Stars Flow?!
After that, I went on leaving plenty of Calamity fodder behind as the collab continued. When Stars Flow came up as a prompt, for instance, I wrote "A demon?" and the chat went up in flames. M-chan and the others didn't say a word—just let out hollow little laughs. It had been my own ultra-ultimate gag, but the world still couldn't keep up with my level.
"It's about time we wrapped this up."
"Hmm. It's already been over an hour."
"I was having so much fun I didn't even notice the time!"
"Sleepy...."
"I hope we get a gathering like this again."
"I, I think so too."
"B-be quiet!"
If we could end on a good note, that would be best, so why were they trying to torment me? Iztomo has way too many people in the abuse faction.... Still, they were paying attention to me, so I was grateful. I did think that.
"All right. Then, before we end the broadcast, I'd like to call in one last special guest!"
"What did you say?"
"This is the first I'm hearing of that."
"I'm sleepy, though...."
"A-at the very end, out of nowhere?"
At M-chan's sudden announcement, everyone, me included, showed their confusion. Fair enough. We'd never heard a word about calling anyone besides ourselves.
"C-could it be Rena?"
"Oh-ho."
"That does seem possible."
And at Utsumi-san's guess, everyone nodded as if it sounded about right.
Rena. Not, of course, the "real" 0th Generation of Stars Flow, the one who had existed before Natchan. It was the nickname of Aikawa Renka, the agency's representative and head producer. A beautiful woman and a CEO, she enjoyed quite a bit of popularity, and she showed her face fairly often in Stars Flow's official activities. Her personality ran close to airheaded, too, so every time she appeared on a broadcast she produced a string of legendary moments—and because of that, plenty of viewers looked forward to her showing up on the official streams more than anything else.
Today's broadcast, besides, was a collab celebrating the entire 2nd Generation clearing monetization. Just as Utsumi-san said, the odds that Rena would appear were high.
"Fufufu. Then, special guest of today's group collab—please come on out!"
"Yay~!"
Wait.
This voice?
"I am Natsune Nanase, come from the star of a shining dream!"
"Everyone, Konhoshi!"
For real?
When I looked at the broadcast screen, her avatar was standing there. Platinum-blonde hair, brighter than anything else, was tied back behind her, and in weather as hot as today's the sight of it felt cool. Eyes a shade deeper than that hair, an amber that drew every gaze by spinning a dreamy air around her. And then a smile as lively and bright as the sun, the complete opposite of that atmosphere, with a charm that made a smile rise on its own just from looking.
The outfit she wore was the one newly revealed at this year's birthday live, June 30, 9:30 p.m.—Night of the Star Cluster, black at its base, the shoulders washed in her signature platinum blonde.
"Today I heard it's a commemorative day! All my juniors, the entire 2nd Generation, cleared monetization and they're doing a collab! So I asked to make a special appearance, and here I am!"
"Thank you, Natsune-senpai!"
"Koga-san, you can call me Nanase!"
"Th-then I'll go by S-Suzuha too...."
"Got it. I'm counting on you, Suzuha!"
My favorite. My idol. My aspiration. My hero.
Natsune Nanase was standing there.
"Izumi!"
"Y-yes? H-huh?"
And I was so happy that Natchan was talking to me herself.
"Ah, th-that's. I—I also, um, uh...."
"Izumi, you're definitely going to become an amazing VTuber that everyone loves. Because you and I are alike."
"It's true! Everyone's going to be surprised later!"
And I was so happy that a Natchan like that acknowledged me.
"Ah, w-wait a second. My n-nose is bleeding...."
The tears came, and a nosebleed with them....
"Eh?"
The world is tormenting me....