The Young Bride of the Pigsty (1)
The place could hardly be called a house. Morphologically speaking, yes, it had walls, a roof, and an entrance. But…
‘This… is a house?’
The earthen walls were so cracked they looked ready to collapse at any moment. The thatched roof was patchy like it suffered from advanced alopecia, exposing its skeletal frame. A filthy scrap of cloth hung in the doorway instead of a proper door, flapping pathetically in the breeze. In what might generously be called the yard, a few chickens wandered freely while the ground had become a minefield of white droppings. The vegetable patch on one side had long since surrendered to weeds that reached up to my waist, forming a miniature jungle. And above all else…
‘Ugh…’
The smell. The stench of rotting straw. Animal waste. Mold. And something else I couldn’t even identify. An indescribable cocktail of odors slammed into my nostrils.
‘This is the home of a ninth-rank official in this era?’
My mind had known the facts. I knew Liu Bang was poor. That a constable’s salary was less than part-time convenience store wages. That the lives of commoners in this time were inherently unsanitary. But still…
‘It’s a hundred times worse than I imagined!’
After six months living in the luxurious Lü family mansion, my senses had grown completely numb. Polished wooden floors. Neatly arranged furniture. Fresh bedding changed daily. Rooms scented with incense. I had mistakenly come to think of those things as “normal.” To be honest, even the Lü household had been uncomfortable compared to 21st-century Korea, but next to this monstrosity it might as well have been a hotel suite.
“What’s wrong? Aren’t you getting down?”
Liu Bang had already leaped down from the ox cart and was looking back at me.
“……”
My feet refused to move. The moment I set my silk shoes inside that ruin, I felt a terror that my entire life would come to an end.
“Hey, Zhi-ah.”
Just as he reached out toward my shoulder with a puzzled expression—
“……Lord Liu.”
A voice far colder than I expected flowed from my lips.
“Uh… huh?”
Even the great Liu Bang flinched and froze. For the first time, a look of genuine bewilderment crossed that brazen face. A moment later, he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
“Yeah, of course you’d hate it.”
He clicked his tongue and shrugged.
“If you want to curse me out, go ahead. I made the exact same face the first time I saw this place.”
“……Pardon?”
“I’m from Pei County, but my family home is in Zhongyang Village. This shack is what I got after becoming constable.”
Liu Bang gazed up at the hut with a bitter smile.
“When I first saw it, I thought it was a stable. Honestly, I felt bad for the horses. It was that awful.”
“……”
“The roof leaks, the wind whistles through every crack. Waking up to stare down rats is part of the morning routine. But you get used to it after a while. At least you won’t freeze to death.”
He looked straight at me. There was no teasing in his eyes now—only the serious gaze of a family head.
“You’re the precious jewel of the Lü family. You probably never imagined living in a pigsty like this.”
Those dark eyes gently pierced into my heart.
“But this is my reality. What can I do? If you can’t accept it, go back to the Lü house right now. I’ll explain everything to your father.”
His voice carried nothing but sincere honesty.
I unconsciously swallowed hard.
‘…He really means it.’
He wasn’t testing me. He was genuinely giving me a choice. He was showing me his miserable reality and asking if I would still stay. He was asking whether the resolve I had spoken of was real.
I stared at Liu Bang’s face. A face worn down by life. Skin tanned by sun and wine. The face of a lowly official. Yet those eyes were exactly the same as the ones that had discussed ruling the world the night before—sharp, deep, and piercing.
“……No.”
I shook my head.
“I will not go back.”
“……Why?”
“I told you I was prepared. Whether it’s hell or a battlefield of blood, I won’t run away.”
I jumped down from the ox cart. Mud soiled my silk shoes. The stench of chicken droppings hit me full force. But I didn’t even flinch.
“If I balk at something like this, I’d never be able to set foot in hell at all.”
I looked up at the hut. Cracked earthen walls, peeling roof, filthy rag for a door. Yes—this was my starting point.
“To be completely honest, it’s a terrible house. It’s not fit for human habitation.”
I delivered the straight punch without hesitation. I saw Liu Bang wince.
“But a house is a house. It has a roof and walls. We can fix it.”
I smiled lightly.
“So, I will live here. With you. Because from now on, this isn’t just your house—it’s our house.”
I made my intentions clear. With a nod of acceptance, I bent down and began gathering the scattered luggage from the ground.
Liu Bang…
“……Heh.”
…laughed. Not a loud guffaw, but a real smile that only slightly lifted the corners of his mouth. The man who was easily twice my size carefully crouched beside me and helped pick up the bundles.
“You really are an interesting woman.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
“That’s exactly why it’s funny. Most women would’ve thrown a fit and started crying by now.”
Liu Bang swept up the luggage in one hand and stood.
“Alright. If you’ve made up your mind, I’ll show you inside. Brace yourself—the inside is even worse than the outside.”
“Is that any way to speak to your wife?”
“Well, what can I do? It’s the truth.”
Chuckling, he led the way. With grim determination, I followed him into the house.
And then—
“……Wow.”
An even more intense visual assault covered my eyes. Liu Bang had not been exaggerating.
“This is the earthen floor. Take off your shoes.”
He lifted the rag at the entrance, revealing a dark, cave-like space. The earthen floor—literally just packed dirt—was uneven and cracked in several places. The stove in the corner was blackened with soot so old I couldn’t tell when it had last been used.
“And over here is the bedroom.”
Deeper inside, the floor changed to wooden planks. But they were rotting, creaking ominously with every step. In the back was something that could be called a bed—a simple wooden frame topped with straw. A single dirty cloth lay on top. The walls were cracked, spiderwebs hung from the ceiling like chandeliers, and mouse droppings like little dirt beads were scattered in the corners. The air felt heavy, thick with dust, mold, and the scent of night-blooming flowers.
“Is this… everything?”
“Yeah, that’s all. Earthen floor, stove, bedroom, and… oh, right.”
Liu Bang pointed at a hole in the wall.
“The latrine is through there.”
“The latrine…”
I stared at the hole. It was just big enough for one person to squeeze through—a crude opening leading into a dark abyss.
“Want to see?”
“……No, that’s quite alright.”
My imagination was more than enough. It was probably just a primitive pit with nothing but a hole dug in the ground.
‘I’m supposed to live in this house…’
Dizziness washed over me. Thirty years in modern Korea. Six months in the Lü mansion. It all felt as distant as a dream from a previous life.
“What’s wrong? Feeling sick?”
“……A little.”
“Yeah. I get it.”
Liu Bang scratched his head awkwardly.
“Rest for a bit. I’ll bring in the rest of your things.”
He turned as if to flee.
“Lord Liu.”
I called out firmly. He paused and looked back. There was the faintest trace of worry and fear on his face, as if he thought I might not be able to endure it.
I took a deep breath through my mouth and met his eyes squarely.
“I will begin cleaning immediately.”
“……Huh?”
“Cleaning. I cannot stand living in filth, even if it kills me.”
I smoothly rolled up my silk sleeves. The pale forearm of the Lü family’s cherished daughter—never once touched by manual labor—was revealed.
“So please prepare a broom for me, my lord. We need to sweep away all this garbage.”
If I lived like this, I would die. Not by Xiang Yu’s blade, but from tetanus or food poisoning. My modern sense of hygiene was sounding every alarm bell.
Time to clean. Thoroughly. Sweep the floors, wipe the walls, air out the bedding, clear the spiderwebs, remove the mouse droppings. Becoming Empress Lü was still far in the future. My mission today was to turn this pigsty into a place fit for human beings.
※※
All morning, I waged a war called cleaning. Fortunately, among the dowry items brought from the Lü house were cleaning tools—broom, dustpan, rags. My mother had personally packed them, saying, “You’ll need these in your new home.”
‘Mother, thank you.’
With silent gratitude, I gripped the broom.
First, the floor. I swept the earthen area. Scrape, scrape. Dust, sand, unidentified animal fur, and trash piled up like a mountain. Next was the bedroom. I scrubbed the grime from between the planks until my palms turned pitch black. My silk skirt became ragged like a cleaning rag from crawling on my knees. Yet every time I saw the cleaner floor, a strange sense of satisfaction rose in my chest.
After the floor came the ceiling. It was time to remove the spiderwebs. I tapped the corners with the broom, and a fist-sized black object fell.
“Eek…!”
The spider landed at my feet. I screamed without thinking. Eight legs. A hairy body. Countless eyes that seemed to be staring right at me. My breath caught and the hand holding the broom began to tremble violently.
“Zhi-ah?”
Liu Bang, who had been sitting on the now-clean stove munching on jujubes, poked his head in. Seeing me frozen pale as a ghost, a mischievous smile spread across his face as he approached.
“Oh, so even my wife has something she’s afraid of.”
“……It’s not like that. It just… suddenly jumped out.”
How embarrassing. Back when I was a man, this was nothing. I used to smash cockroaches with a slipper in my studio apartment. Spiders? I even let them live, calling them beneficial insects. But this body… Lü Zhi’s body apparently had a severe aversion to spiders.
“It’s not moving at all. Looks like this guy’s fallen for you too, Zhi-ah.”
Without the slightest hesitation, Liu Bang grabbed the spider that had been staring at me with his bare hand. He looked at it for a moment, then slowly brought it toward his mouth—
“Huk?!”
“Kk, got you.”
He didn’t actually eat it, of course. He simply tossed it into a corner of the earthen floor. The spider that had barely escaped with its life quickly fled into a crack in the wall.
“There are lots of spiders in this house. Lots of mice and fleas too. I can’t do anything about that, so you’ll just have to get used to it.”
He shrugged and went back outside.
‘Get used to it, he says…’
My stomach turned, but he was right—there was nothing to be done. It wasn’t as if pest control services like Sesco existed in this era.
‘Maybe I should get a cat…’
I let out a deep sigh and picked up the broom again.
……By around lunchtime, the house had started to look somewhat presentable. Dust still rose from the floor, but at least there was now space to step. The flea-infested bedding had been hung outside for a sun disinfection. Since there was no disinfectant in this era, we had to rely on the mercy of the sun god. I had cleared all the spiderwebs I could reach, but gave up on the deepest parts of the ceiling. The mouse droppings had been collected and thrown out, and any grain that might attract rodents was sealed in jars from the dowry and placed high on the shelves.
“You work well.”
Liu Bang, who had been lying in the shade near the stove, whistled in appreciation. Ever since he had moved the dowry items and removed the spider for me, he had stayed there the whole time. He neither helped nor interfered. He simply lounged comfortably and watched.
“You really haven’t lifted a single finger.”
“If I helped, I’d only get in the way. I’m terrible at cleaning.”
“How can someone be bad at cleaning?”
“Easy. I’ve never done it before.”
“……”
I was speechless. A man nearly forty years old had never cleaned once in his life.
‘Is this the average for ancient Chinese men?’
I sighed and waved the broom around.
“Then at least go outside so you’re not in the way.”
“Alright.”
Liu Bang obediently got up. His docile behavior made me laugh despite myself. A man built like a mountain moved exactly as instructed.
As he was stepping outside, he suddenly tossed over his shoulder as if he had just remembered something.
“Oh, and when you’re done cleaning, I’d appreciate it if you could make some food too.”
“There’s porridge we brought from home. You can have that for lunch.”
“No, not that. I mean proper feast food. And plenty of snacks to go with the wine.”
“A feast…?”
What kind of feast could possibly happen in this disaster zone? When I tilted my head in confusion, Liu Bang continued in a casual tone.
“Yeah. Now that my new sister-in-law has arrived, I should at least introduce her to my younger brothers, right?”
“Younger brothers…”
Liu Bang did have one half-brother, Liu Jiao. But he had clearly used the plural—“younger brothers.” If so, then their identities must be…
‘Liu Bang’s Pei County family…?!’
My eyes widened before I could stop them.