The Butterfly Effect
Was it because I was busy, or because I was carrying a troublemaking little rascal in my belly? Time flew by at an astonishing pace.
……Wow.
Late May. The heat of early summer had begun to scorch the earth. After a long absence, I visited my family home for rest and a bath. When I finally saw my naked body for the first time in nearly a month, I was momentarily speechless.
My lower belly is already starting to swell…
It was a gentle curve, as if a small fist were tucked inside. But that was not all. My already ample breasts had grown even larger, and my pink nipples had darkened to an almost crimson hue. This was the body of a woman becoming a mother, its functionality laid bare.
I stood there dazed for a moment until the maid Chwi-ran, who had been holding up the mirror, smiled softly.
“This is the process of a maiden’s body becoming a mother’s. It is perfectly natural, so there is no need to be startled, my lady.”
“I am not particularly startled. It is just… a little unfamiliar.”
I shook my head and dipped my foot into the steaming bath. The temperature was perfect. Once I had submerged myself completely, Chwi-ran set the mirror aside and scattered a few flower petals into the water.
“Has the morning sickness improved at all?”
“No, it is still awful. And lately my stomach has been cramping too.”
“Cramps… Have you had any fever?”
“Just a slight chill before bed now and then?”
“Worsening morning sickness, abdominal pain, and a mild fever…”
Chwi-ran murmured to herself, counting on her fingers, then her face lit up.
“Congratulations, my lady. It seems the child has finally settled properly in the womb.”
“Even though it hurts this much?”
“The baby has begun to draw on its mother’s strength in earnest. You will grow accustomed to it soon enough.”
……Haah, fine. I hope so.
I sighed and laid a damp cloth across my forehead. Over the past two months I had thought long and hard about how to accept my current state. How was a man who still craved stir-fried pork supposed to become a mother? In the end, the conclusion that “Lü Zhi” and “I” reached was simple.
A ten-month short-term military camp.
Having already completed the full twenty-one-month military service in my previous life as a sergeant in the reserves, I decided to treat pregnancy and childbirth the same way: something I really did not want to do, but had to do anyway. Morning sickness was chemical warfare training; labor was field training. Once I framed it that way, my mind felt lighter.
Besides, my mind is still that of a pure maiden.
At any rate, I had completely set aside any philosophical worries about pregnancy. Right now, all I wanted was to endure these ten months with the heart of a benevolent Holy Mother and safely deliver this nuisance into the world.
“When will the morning sickness ease?”
I asked, sinking deeper into the hot water.
“Once you enter the stable period in a month or two, it should fade naturally.”
……Good heavens.
A wave of dizziness washed over me. The greasy smell of the lamb stew Seom-a cooked every fortnight suddenly seemed to fill my nose.
“Haah…”
I let out a long sigh and sank until even my nose was underwater. Chwi-ran looked at me with gentle eyes and poured warm water over my wet hair.
“Bearing new life is a sacred act. Still, if anyone can endure it bravely, it is you, my lady.”
……
Well, population production is a sacred act. I blew a few bubbles beneath the surface, then nodded reluctantly.
……
“Sister—!”
I had just finished my refreshing bath when a familiar voice rang out. The moment I stepped into the main hall, Su-a came running in, breathless.
“You startled me… Why are you shouting like that?”
I placed a hand over my racing heart and turned to face her. Su-a skidded to a halt right in front of me.
“It’s an emergency!”
“What kind of emergency?”
“It’s… it’s Fan Kuai!”
“Fan Kuai?”
The name came out of nowhere. What could Fan Kuai possibly have done? Gotten into a fight at the market? Looking closer, I realized Su-a’s condition was far from normal. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were damp, and her lips trembled faintly. She was clearly overwhelmed by some intense emotion.
“Calm down. Take a breath and tell me slowly.”
I hardened my expression and placed a hand on her shoulder. All sorts of ominous possibilities flashed through my mind. Su-a panted for a moment, her lips working soundlessly, before she finally managed to speak.
“He… Fan Kuai… he…”
Her doe-like eyes stared straight into mine.
“He proposed to me!”
……Huh?
For a moment I was at a loss for words. A proposal. From Fan Kuai. To Su-a.
What?
Of course, there was nothing strange about the two of them marrying. That was how history was supposed to go, and I had never interfered in their relationship. What bothered me was…
It is far too soon.
According to the records, Fan Kuai and Su-a’s marriage took place after Liu Bang became the Duke of Pei and raised his banner. It had been Lady Cao’s aggressive “double down” move once she secured the blue-chip stock that was Liu Bang through me. But right now Liu Bang was still just a bandit chieftain hiding on Mount Mangdang, and Fan Kuai was nothing more than a butcher, not yet the Duke’s right-hand man. Above all, their marriage was supposed to be arranged by their fathers, not triggered by an impulsive confession from Fan Kuai.
History has changed again.
Not a typhoon, but the tiniest flutter of a butterfly’s wing.
“That is wonderful. Congratulations, Su-a.”
I smiled honestly. It did not seem like a major issue.
“C-congratulations?!”
Su-a’s reaction was nothing like what I had expected. Her eyes widened more than I had ever seen.
“How can you treat this like someone else’s problem?!”
“What do you mean? You said you liked Fan Kuai.”
“Well… yes, but…!”
Su-a’s face flushed even redder.
“I just do not know what to do!”
“About what?”
“It is marriage! Marriage! I would be getting married!”
Su-a waved her arms and shouted.
“I have never been married before!”
……Would it not be more of a problem if you had?
“That is not what I meant! Are you going to keep twisting my words?”
Su-a began stamping her feet.
Ha. She really is just a high-school girl.
I felt the corner of my mouth soften without meaning to. Thanks to her friendly personality it was easy to forget, but Su-a was only eighteen this year. In the twenty-first century she would be a high-school student worrying about college entrance exams. Unlike me, who carried the memories of a thirty-year-old man, Su-a was a pure, sheltered young lady. Even if she liked Fan Kuai, the moment that affection took the concrete form of “marriage,” it must have felt terrifying.
“So… um…”
After hesitating for a long time, Su-a grabbed both of my hands.
“Teach me, Sister!”
“Huh? Teach you what?”
“What am I supposed to say here? What is the correct answer?”
She looked up at me with desperate eyes.
Is she really asking a lifelong bachelor for dating advice…
I swallowed a bitter laugh. The situation was truly ironic. A radiant teenage girl was asking a thirty-year-old virgin who had never even held a woman’s hand in his previous life for marriage counseling. Moreover, my own marriage to Liu Bang had been one hundred percent forced, so I had no real experience to draw from.
Still, I cannot just refuse.
From my relationship with Seom-a to how to handle Liu Fei and various other matters of daily life, Su-a had always been the one helping me. It was time for me to return the favor.
I took Su-a’s hand and led her into the inner room. After clearing my throat lightly, I spoke.
“Tell me the details. What exactly happened?”
“Well…”
Su-a’s face grew even redder. She twisted the hem of her skirt with her fingers and confessed in a voice that was almost a whisper.
“I was at the market choosing silk when Fan Kuai suddenly appeared and spoke to me. He said he was on his way to deliver meat.”
“And then?”
“We walked together and talked for a while, and before I knew it we had reached a deserted alley. He said he knew a shortcut, so I followed him…”
Su-a fidgeted with her index finger as she continued.
“Then he suddenly stopped walking. He glanced around once, then dropped to his knees right in front of me…”
“Wait, he knelt? On the dirt ground?”
“Yes. He put both knees on the ground.”
Su-a’s face looked ready to burst as she lowered her head and muttered.
“And then… he suddenly shouted, ‘Be my wife!’ so loudly the whole alley echoed.”
……Pfft.
I nearly burst out laughing. So that was how proposals worked in this world.
Like brother, like sister…
Striking up a conversation at the market, leading her to a deserted alley, then suddenly kneeling and firing off a direct shot. It was the kind of brutal clumsiness that could easily rank in the top five worst proposals in history.
“So what did you say, Su-a?”
I asked, barely holding back my laughter.
“……I could not say anything.”
Su-a hung her head weakly.
“I was too shocked. By the time I came to my senses, I was already running away.”
“So you just… ran?”
“Yes.”
“And left Fan Kuai in that alley?”
“……Yes.”
“And he stayed kneeling there the whole time?”
“……Probably?”
“Wow.”
Imagining the scene made me feel a little sorry for him. That hulking, hairy butcher, frozen in confusion on his knees in a back alley.
“Sister, what should I do?”
Su-a lifted her head again, her voice trembling.
I swallowed my own bewilderment and asked, “What do you want to do?”
“……Me?”
“Yes. How do you feel about Fan Kuai?”
Su-a was silent for a long time. She only kept rubbing her index finger anxiously. Finally, a very small voice emerged.
“I think… I like him.”
“You think?”
“Yes.”
“You are not sure?”
“I am not… really sure.”
A deep sigh. Su-a’s eyes grew even more downcast. She looked at me again and spoke carefully.
“Then what about you, Sister?”
“Me?”
“When did you start thinking, ‘I am glad I married this person’? It could not have been from the very beginning, right?”
……
For a moment I was at a loss. What should I say here? After thinking for a long while, I answered in a small but firm voice.
“Just like you said, at first I was honestly a little scared. The idea of having to live the rest of my life with a complete stranger.”
“Then what about now, when you are carrying his child?”
“Now…”
I paused to think. How did I truly feel about Liu Bang? That cunning, alcohol-loving, penniless, shameless man. And as his easygoing face and voice rose clearly in my mind, a small smile formed on my lips without my realizing it.
“Now… I want to stay by his side.”
I continued in a calm voice.
“I cannot point to any single moment when everything changed. It just happened little by little as we spent time together.”
“Why?”
……I wonder.
There were many complicated reasons tangled together. Human emotions could not be neatly defined with a single word. Still, the first thing that came to mind was…
“Because he treated me as an equal.”
“An equal?”
“Yes. He saw me not as a woman, but as a fellow human being, as a comrade. That small consideration… made me happy.”
Liu Bang had been sincere with me from beginning to end. He had never treated me like an ornament. And as a result, even the man I had once been had come to like Liu Bang a little… just a little. It was a feeling slightly different from camaraderie. Of course, there had been the minor mishap of the pregnancy along the way, but that was a separate matter. Even as “myself” rather than as Liu Bang’s wife Lü Zhi, I could now kiss him anytime without hesitation.
……Oh.
“What is with that strange reaction?”
“It is just… I think this is the first time I have seen you make that kind of expression.”
Su-a, who had been deep in thought, continued her questions.
“So, Sister.”
“Yes.”
“……Are you happy right now?”
“Happy…?”
It was a word that felt distant. A poor household. A husband who was a fugitive. An unwanted child in my belly. The magistrate still eyed me hungrily, and the future felt suffocating. Objectively speaking, I was far from happy.
……And yet.
“Yes, I am happy.”
I smiled without any falsehood.
“There are countless hardships, the morning sickness never ends, and there is no husband here to take care of me, but… I am still happy. I truly believe marrying that man was the right choice.”
When my honest confession reached her, Su-a remained silent for a while. Then she slowly raised her head.
“Sister.”
“Yes.”
“……I am going to go give Fan Kuai my answer.”
“Your answer?”
“Yes. Right now.”
Determination shone in Su-a’s eyes.
“Since I was the one who said I liked him first, I should take responsibility to the very end.”
“Responsibility… What are you going to say?”
“That is…”
Su-a smiled shyly.
“A secret. I will tell Fan Kuai myself.”
……Heh.
A laugh escaped me before I could stop it. It felt as if I were watching a well-written teen romance comedy from the front row.
Youth… My own marriage was a complete scam.
I chuckled softly and patted Su-a’s shoulder.
“Then go. If it is Fan Kuai, he is probably still lingering around there.”
“Yes. I think so too. He is an idiot, after all.”
Su-a stood up at once and straightened her clothes. She fixed her hair, then dashed down the corridor at the same speed she had arrived.
“I will be back!”
“W-wait, do not run—!”
I raised my voice out of pure concern, but Su-a disappeared like a spring breeze without looking back. I stared blankly at the empty corridor for a moment, then smiled faintly and rose to my feet.
Well, Su-a will handle it just fine.
It was time to return home. But the events of just now had made one thing clear.
History is twisting in the smallest places.
From trivial matters like the timing of Su-a’s marriage to enormous ones like the scale of Liu Bang’s bandit group, the environment surrounding me was changing bit by bit.
To respond to that, I need more information.
Yet the world around me remained absurdly limited. Business was on track and funds were accumulating, but it was still not enough. Information. Connections. And, in case of emergency, power to protect us.
I need to spread people across the country.
Only about fifty days remained until the rebellion of Chen Sheng and Wu Guang. July of 209 BCE. That fateful month was approaching. Now was truly the time to act in earnest.
The first place I need to check is… south of Qixian County, Dazexiang.
The endless marshlands in southern Qixian. The very place where Chen Sheng and Wu Guang would raise their revolt. It was time to begin moving in earnest.