The Fugitive's Wife (3)

The night of sleepless tossing and turning had lifted. The December sunlight seeping through the window ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠frames was white and cold. I squatted before the hearth, warming my fingers that had frozen overnight over the fire while performing a final review of my full strategy.

'How to kill a man.'

I had been a man. For thirty years I lived as one. Though I was a lifelong virgin, I understood the psychology of men who desired women better than anyone. And I knew precisely what could pour cold water on that burning lust.

'That bastard wants my body.' That much was certain. Those glistening eyes, the sticky heat transmitted from his fingertips. Without a doubt, he saw me as vulnerable prey. In such a situation, would frantic resistance help? It would be useless. To men of that sort, a woman's resistance was merely excellent seasoning. It might even stimulate his conquest urge and make him harder still.

Smearing ashes on my face and pretending to be filthy? That was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠equally stupid. A man in heat knew no limits. Even if I wet myself, he would likely lick my thighs while murmuring 'Even better.'

'If he were the type to die from that level of resistance, he would never have touched a married woman in the first place.'

Therefore, that was not what I needed to target. What I had to stab was a man's pride. And his self-esteem. No matter how compatible a couple might be in bed, there came a moment when one would never wish to see the other's face again. I did not know the details, but I had heard it countless times over drinks. The instant that woman no longer even registered as an 'object of desire.' Contempt. Humiliation. And disillusionment. I would manufacture that on purpose.

'Of course, the price would be violence.'

My hands trembled unconsciously. I quietly clenched them into fists. Yes—if the alternative was panting beneath that pig of a magistrate, being beaten was a thousand times better. Let him strike me cleanly. Then I would begin anew.

After all, had not Liu Ji asked me the same question? Was I prepared to walk through the pits of hellfire with him? My answer at the time had been yes. It remained yes even now.

'Good.'

I rose from my seat. Entering the bedroom, I unrolled a bamboo slip, dipped the brush deeply in ink, and calmly wrote at the very top.

This was the weapon I had prepared for that day—language itself.

The next day. Around the time the afternoon sun began to slant westward.

"Come here."

As forewarned, the magistrate arrived. Unlike the previous occasion, he wore casual clothes rather than official robes, accompanied only by a single soldier in plain attire who quietly escorted him. He had come to enjoy himself in secret. What a repulsive display of consideration.

'All right. Let's do this.'

I drew a deep breath. My heart pounded wildly. Cold sweat broke out across my palms. Yet I concealed my fear completely behind a mask. Showing fear would only excite him. He would derive sadistic pleasure from 'trembling prey.'

Therefore, I would show him something else. I pinched the back of my hand sharply to steady my expression.

Soon the hemp curtain was flung aside and the magistrate stepped inside.

"Oh ho."

Without hesitation he approached the hearth. He stopped directly before me, a sinister smile curling his lips.

"Your complexion looks better than it did two days ago."

"All thanks to you, my lord."

I smiled in return—a smile born of genuine resolve, the smile of one ready to cross swords with him.

"I shall give you my answer immediately."

"Yes, let us hear it. I hope it will be pleasing."

The magistrate stood with arms crossed, awaiting my reply. His face was thick with the confidence of a victor. It was obvious what he believed: the wife of a fugitive had no choices. If she wished to live, she need only spread her legs.

'Simple fool.'

I took one step forward. Tilting my head ever so slightly, I spoke.

"Lord Magistrate."

"Speak."

"Though it may be presumptuous…."

I lifted my head and looked straight into his eyes.

"I must decline."

"……What?"

Silence. The smile vanished from the magistrate's face.

"Did I mishear you just now?"

He asked again, incredulous.

"I decline."

I repeated it clearly, biting off each syllable.

"I mean that I respectfully decline your 'intimate' proposal, Lord Magistrate."

"……Hah."

The magistrate's eyes narrowed like a snake's. Red fury began to seep upward from beneath his skin.

"You dare… refuse my proposal?"

"Yes."

"The reason… what is your reason?"

"You ask for my reason?"

I tilted my head with an utterly innocent expression.

"Lord Magistrate. May this girl offer one potentially rude remark?"

"……Speak."

"Then I shall be completely honest."

I took a deep breath. I loaded the venom drawn from my core. And then.

"Lord Magistrate. I would rather bite my tongue and choose death than lie in your arms."

I had ignited the pride-thresher prepared over two days.

"Because, as a man, you are far too… pitiful."

"……What did you say?"

"Lord Magistrate. Why do you desire me?"

"Why? That is obviously…."

"Because I am beautiful?"

"……Yes."

"Is that all?"

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

"Lord Magistrate."

I let out a small sigh.

"You are currently using your power to forcibly obtain a woman."

"Of course. A man of power possesses both the strength and the right to do so."

"That may be true. But is it truly a 'right'?"

"……."

"From where I stand, it looks like nothing more than the last desperate flailing of a pitiful man."

The air froze. The magistrate's face flushed as red as a ripe jujube—anger, humiliation, and the self-esteem that had never been pierced until this moment.

"What the hell… are you babbling about…."

"Lord Magistrate."

I did not stop. I drove the facts home.

"Have you ever been truly loved by a woman?"

"……."

"Not for power, money, or position. Has there ever been even one woman who loved 'you yourself' beneath that official robe of County Magistrate?"

"……Shut your mouth."

"Not smiles bought with money or moans forced through power. Have you ever once received eyes that sparkled with genuine excitement when they looked at you?"

"I told you to shut up!"

At last the magistrate raised his voice. But I did not stop. Instead I stepped even closer.

"You have no charm as a man."

"You bitch…!"

"That is why you resort to power. Because without suppressing them with authority, no woman would spare you a glance."

"Will you shut that mouth!"

The magistrate thrust his fist high. His thick knuckles flew forward without hesitation. Yet I did not flinch. I did not dodge. And just before the fist descended—

"You have never once experienced true love in your life, my lord."

I barely finished the final sentence.

Whoosh—!

The fist halted directly before my nose. The punch was so fierce it stirred the air. My bangs fluttered.

"Are you happy between the forcibly opened legs of women you claimed with power?"

"……."

"When you pant above them, the woman beneath is thinking, 'Can't this be over soon?' She is thinking, 'How disgusting.' She may even be thinking, 'I would rather die.'"

"Shut up! If you utter one more ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠word…!"

"Are you truly satisfied with that?"

"……!"

"Hollow copulation. Bestial mating received with contemptuous eyes. Does that fill your empty self-esteem? Do you not feel pathetic?"

The magistrate's fist began to tremble. His pupils shook as though struck by an earthquake—the collapse of a man whose ugliest and weakest inner self had been laid bare.

'Done.'

I cheered inwardly. His life gauge was already at zero. His mentality had shattered into dust. All that remained was to reassemble the broken fragments into the shape I desired. Reconstruction after destruction—the classic pattern of gaslighting.

I withdrew my wavering gaze and looked up at him with calmer, pitying eyes. The gaze of a saintess soothing a wounded beast. My voice, too, dropped noticeably compared to before.

"However, my lord."

"……."

"To speak honestly, my own husband, Liu Ji, is no different in terms of physical charm."

"……What?"

The magistrate's eyes went blank at once. Perhaps because the statement was so unexpected. The fist he had raised slowly lost strength and fell.

I lowered my eyes and smiled bitterly.

"You know it as well, my lord. My husband Liu Ji, though nearly forty, has done nothing but roam about acting like a hoodlum. His belly protrudes, his beard is unkempt, he reeks of wine and bachelorhood… Objectively, he is hardly a man women would favor."

"Suddenly, what are you…."

"If we speak only of the outer shell of manhood, you two are evenly matched… No, in some respects your fair complexion may even give you the advantage, Lord Magistrate."

Of course it was one hundred percent nonsense. Liu Ji's ears might be a little large, yet he possessed a high nose bridge and a strangely captivating, bold charm. He belonged to an entirely different species than that greasy toad. But having come this far, a few lies were nothing.

'You're not the only unattractive one.' This sense of solidarity would serve as a small bandage for his shattered pride.

"Nevertheless, I chose the man named Liu Ji. Do you know why?"

"……I do not."

"Because he possessed the power to draw people to him."

I took one more step closer. The magistrate flinched yet stared at my lips as if spellbound.

"Though he owns nothing, he is a man who cherishes and gives to those around him. He possessed the virtue of winning hearts. That is why, despite being unattractive and penniless, both the people and I followed him."

I gazed directly into the magistrate's eyes.

"Lord Magistrate. I know a little about physiognomy. I learned it from my father."

"Physiognomy?"

"Yes. As you know, my father Lord Lü Gong is the foremost physiognomist in Pei County. After my brothers left home, my lonely father would occasionally teach even a girl like me the art of reading people."

The rumor that Lü Gong chose his sons-in-law through physiognomy was common knowledge throughout Pei County. No greater authority existed.

I studied his face intently. I furrowed my brows, tilted my head, then suddenly widened my eyes as if startled.

"Yet upon close examination of your features, my lord… it is truly astonishing."

"M-me?"

The magistrate fumbled at his own face in confusion.

"Yes. Your broad forehead shows a clear Heavenly Court that receives heavenly blessings, and your thick chin reveals an Earthly Pavilion overflowing with wealth sufficient to feed ten thousand. This is unmistakably the face of a shepherd official destined to govern a great province and earn the respect of the people."

"A shepherd official? Me?"

The magistrate's mouth opened and closed like a carp. To a man who had heard nothing but accusations of corruption and chased women's skirts his entire life, the words 'respected shepherd official' must have been the highest praise he had ever received. And humans are pitiful creatures who desperately wish to believe what they want to hear.

'Of course I know nothing whatsoever about physiognomy.'

I continued.

"However!"

I raised my voice abruptly, reversing the mood. The magistrate's shoulders jerked.

"At present a turbid energy like dark clouds obstructs your precious features, my lord."

"Turbid… what is that?"

"It is precisely lust and impatience."

I slowly raised my hand, then gracefully drew it back toward my body like scattering petals before his chin. The magistrate's gaze followed my fingertips.

"That heart which seeks to seize women by force of power. That attitude which would suppress the people through strength alone. They are devouring your innate noble energy and making you appear nothing more than a lustful old man."

"……."

"My lord. The people—and women—are not to be taken by force. If you cultivate the true dignity of an adult…."

I lowered my voice and leaned slightly toward his ear.

"Women will come to your embrace of their own accord. Harboring respect and affection, they will loosen their own collars. To have a woman offer her body without your lifting a finger—that is the true path of a man, is it not?"

The magistrate's pupils shook violently. The sweet whisper of a beautiful woman gently stroking a man's pride. The empty hope that he could become a virtuous, attractive ruler admired by every woman in the world.

To drive the wedge deeper, I stepped back and bowed my head deeply.

"My lord, my husband has abandoned me and fled. The laws of Qin do not forgive fugitives. Even if he still lives, he will never return to my side again."

I let moisture enter my voice.

"This girl Lü Zhi has become a widow at twenty. Yet I cannot leave this county where my family and memories remain. I shall likely live out my days in lonely solitude."

Having spoken thus, I looked up at the magistrate with glistening eyes. I saw his Adam's apple bob.

"Therefore I beg you, my lord, to grant this girl time. Do not seize me by force. Instead show me a greater spirit than Liu Ji so that I may follow you with my heart."

"……."

"If you do, then one day… this girl will come to your residence first. I will bow respectfully before you and stand at your side. I will help you obtain… not a mere shell, but true love."

I bowed once more with utmost politeness.

The magistrate.

"……."

He stared down at me, breathing roughly. Within his eyes, primal lust and the newly implanted desire to become a 'splendid man' waged a fierce battle.

But I knew. Men were most vulnerable to the intoxication of believing they could become alpha males. Deep in every heart lay the wish to obtain a woman who would truly love them.

"……Huu."

After a long while the magistrate exhaled deeply. The beastly killing intent vanished from his eyes, replaced by an almost foolishly pure expectation.

"Very well."

He cleared his throat and straightened his clothes.

"There is logic in your words. As you say, there is no need to rush. All we have left is time."

"You are wise, my lord. Truly the vessel of a shepherd official."

"Yes. I shall take my leave for today."

The magistrate turned to go, then paused and glared at me again.

"But do not test my patience. Remember that you remain the wife of a criminal."

"Of course, my lord."

When I bowed deeply once more, the magistrate turned and walked toward the door. He was about to cross the threshold when he hesitated and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠looked back.

"So… do I truly possess the face of a shepherd official?"

"Absolutely. Your chin is most auspicious."

"Ahem. Yes, I understand."

The magistrate left the room with far lighter steps than when he had entered with hands clasped behind his back. A confident gait, as though he had shed a layer of himself as a man.

"……Ha."

The instant his footsteps disappeared completely, I collapsed flat on the earthen floor.

"I survived…."

All strength drained from my body like an ebbing tide. My heart thundered. Cold sweat soaked my undergarments. But I had succeeded. I had protected my chastity, avoided imprisonment, and—most importantly—bought precious time.

As I stared blankly at the ceiling, a hollow laugh suddenly escaped me.

'After I went this far, if you cheat on me later… Liu Bang, you really aren't a decent human being.'

Even as I muttered those words, a faint smile lingered on my lips.