The Fall
The characters danced across the page. [Xiang Yu reaches Gaixia…] My eyelids grew heavy. [While greatly repairing the fortress walls…] This shabby officetel, twenty years old. From the floor above came the thumping that had elevated interlayer noise into an art form, while the tower of history books left neglected for days swayed precariously in the fan’s breeze.
‘Just five more pages… I’ll read this and then sleep… just a little longer…’
It was two in the morning. Tomorrow was Monday. A hellish commute awaited me, yet I simply could not close the book. The final battle between Xiang Yu and Liu Bang. The song of Chu from all sides. The suicide of Consort Yu. And… the birth of an empire. As a history otaku, there was no way I could fall asleep right before this climax…
‘……Huh?’
The characters began to overlap. The book slipped from my grasp. The world tilted. Consciousness slowly sank. Silence. Darkness. And then, light.
When awareness rose to the surface again, it came with the sharp, earthy smell of soil piercing my nose.
……The first thing I felt was an overwhelming sense of wrongness. My body was light as a feather. The chronic fatigue that had always crushed my shoulders had vanished completely. There was a heavy, alien weight on my chest, and the center of gravity below my pelvis was fundamentally twisted. And above all else…
‘I can’t… I can’t breathe…’
The stiff fabric tightening around my throat. The cold, damp sensation as if my entire body had been soaked in brine. With every ounce of strength I possessed, I forced my eyelids open.
“……?”
This was not a ceiling I recognized. Instead of fluorescent lights, thick wooden beams greeted me. No wallpaper, only crude earthen walls. The morning sunlight pouring through the papered windows was blindingly bright. A thick scent of incense, and the smell of old wood.
‘Where… am I?’
Even in my confusion, my senses returned rapidly. I forced my limp, cotton-like body to sit up. A groan escaped me from the pain rising deep within my chest.
“Hngh…”
……Hngh?
‘Wait, what was that sound just now?’
High, thin, and clear as a glass bead. It was definitely not my voice. After all, I was Choi Dae-ri, a thirty-year-old man who had completed his mandatory military service in the Republic of Korea Army.
My hand flew to my chest on reflex.
Soft. Warm. And filled my palm with a full, voluptuous curve that no man should ever possess.
‘……What the hell.’
I tried to scream, but my throat only produced a hoarse rasp. My hands trembled violently. The edges of my vision blurred. I lifted those shaking hands to touch my face. Small. The jawline was round and smooth. The scratch of stubble was gone; my cheeks felt as soft as freshly steamed glutinous rice cakes. And the hair—silky strands like the finest silk cascaded over my shoulders all the way to my waist.
“……”
My mind shut down. I couldn’t breathe.
‘I… I am…’
Who?
With a dizzying spin, my—no, this unknown girl’s—body collapsed limply onto the bed.
It took a full three days for me to accept that I had become a girl named Lü Zhi.
It seemed the original owner of this body had been hovering on death’s door from a high fever. When I woke, the maids clutched my hands and wept, saying I had been unconscious for three days and nights.
Three days. In just three days, the twenty-first-century Choi Dae-ri had become Lü Zhi of the third century BCE.
I glared into the mirror—a well-polished bronze mirror. Reflected there was a girl in her late teens, budding like a flower. Skin white as porcelain, deep and profound eyes resembling a phoenix’s gaze, lips like ripe cherries. Objectively speaking, she was a peerless beauty. Her appearance more than deserved the term qingguo zise—a face that could topple kingdoms.
……But.
‘This is supposed to be me…?’
The “me” I had built over thirty years had evaporated without a trace. My face, my job, my modest but precious savings account, every person I had known—they had all vanished to the other side of space and time. All that remained was this unfamiliar girl’s flesh.
“……Lü Zhi.”
I rolled the name around in my mouth. Lü Zhi. The fourth daughter of the Lü clan. The cherished jewel of Lü Gong, a local magnate who had moved from Shanfu to Peixian. And…
‘The woman who will become Liu Bang’s empress…’
A chill ran down my spine. The book I had been reading—Records of the Chu-Han Contention. This was precisely that blood-soaked chaotic era.
The final years of the Qin Dynasty. The tyrant Huhai and the eunuch Zhao Gao had ruined the state, and now heroes and villains fought like beasts over the world. And this girl I had become, Lü Zhi, would one day become the wife of Emperor Gaozu Liu Bang, the first empress of the Han Empire, and furthermore…
‘She becomes the cruel Empress Lü.’
The woman who, blinded by jealousy, cut off Consort Qi’s limbs, gouged out her eyes, and threw her into a pigsty. The very person who coined the horrific term renzhi—human swine. The cold-blooded monster who executed the founding hero Han Xin with the “kill the dog after the hunt” logic. She filled the court with her Lü clan and massacred the Liu imperial family. Unquestionably the greatest of China’s three notorious villainesses.
And I was fated to become that “monster.”
‘……This isn’t even funny.’
I wanted to scream. I wanted to smash everything to pieces. But this body—this small, soft body wrapped in silk—permitted none of it. If I threw a tantrum, a physician would come running with acupuncture needles. If I cried, they would surely call a shaman claiming I was possessed. And if I tried to harm myself, I would be bound hand and foot and taste this era’s “advanced medicine.”
In the end, I had no choice. I had to play the role of Lü Zhi perfectly.
This was the third century BCE. Less than three hundred years after Confucius’s death—an age of barbarism where the very word “human rights” did not exist. The fate of a deranged rich man’s daughter would undoubtedly be far more horrific than anything I could imagine.
……
“My lady, how is your health recovering?”
The maid named Chui Ran asked cautiously.
“Mm… Much better… now.”
The greatest obstacle was language. Thanks to the remnants of Lü Zhi’s memories, understanding was no problem, but the manner of speech was. How did a noble daughter of ancient China speak? What about honorifics? Tone? The first week felt like my head would explode. Stuffing the soul of a thirty-year-old uncle into the frame of a nineteen-year-old girl was pure torture.
“My lady?”
“Ah, it’s nothing. I just… have a lot on my mind…”
I smiled awkwardly and looked at the mirror.
‘Look at that expression…’
The girl in the mirror wore a stiff smile. Eyes dead, only the corners of the mouth lifted—the classic “corporate smile.”
‘……This won’t do.’
I bit my lip.
‘I have to practice. If I want to survive.’
How to smile. How to speak. How to walk. How to sit. How to eat. Etiquette. How to tie my hair. How to dress. How to apply makeup. Everything was different. I had to learn it all again from scratch.
‘I must adapt… I have to survive first if I want any chance of going back.’
Chest out, steps small, voice pitched higher, eyes modestly lowered. I thoroughly erased myself.
Month One. I learned Lü Zhi’s basic daily routine. Wake at dawn, groom myself, greet the family, embroider, eat, embroider again. Days so monotonous they could drive a person insane. Yet even within that monotony, countless traps lay hidden.
“Zhi-ah, you must keep your legs together.”
Mother’s scolding flew at me. I had unconsciously sat with my legs crossed like a man.
“I’m sorry, Mother.”
I hurriedly corrected my posture. My thighs ached. Kneeling properly—guizuo—was torture for a body unaccustomed to it.
“Ever since the fever, you’ve been doing strange things sometimes… Be careful, dear. It would be shameful if men saw.”
“……Yes.”
Yes, it was shameful. In this era, a woman acting like a man brought disgrace upon the family. In the worst case, it could ruin marriage prospects.
‘……Marriage prospects.’
Lü Zhi was currently nineteen. I was beginning to feel the weight of that word more acutely with each passing day.
……
Month Two. I began organizing information about this era by searching my memories. Rather than learning, I was remembering. From the Qin legal system—commandery-county system, twenty-rank nobility, collective punishment—to the Chen Sheng and Wu Guang rebellion, Xiang Yu’s rise, and Liu Bang’s rapid ascent. Once I had some breathing room in my behavior, my mind began to work again.
‘But what year is it right now?’
Gathering external information was difficult. Women’s outings were restricted, and an unmarried maiden joining men’s conversations would be met with cold stares. Still, there were ways.
Lü Zhi’s father, Lü Gong, enjoyed entertaining guests. And as the eldest daughter, I was allowed to serve tea.
“They say the pavilion chief of Peixian has caused another disturbance.”
A guest’s voice drifted from beyond the folding screen.
“You mean Liu Ji? That fellow is beyond help. Lives for wine and women, doesn’t do his work properly…”
Liu Ji. The moment I heard that name, my heart sank.
Ji. Liu Bang’s courtesy name. And… my—no, Lü Zhi’s—future husband.
‘Calm down… The fact that Liu Bang is still just a pavilion chief means nothing has begun yet.’
I set the tray down with trembling hands. But my heartbeat refused to settle.
……
Month Three. I began secret training. Lü Zhi’s stamina was abysmal. This frail body struggled even to run. Climbing stairs left me breathless; lifting objects made my arms go numb in moments.
‘If history follows its course, hell awaits ahead.’
During the Chu-Han Contention, Lü Zhi would experience every kind of ordeal—fleeing, being taken hostage, imprisonment. With this pathetic stamina, I would be eliminated in the first round.
‘At this rate, I’ll die.’
So every night I locked my door and exercised. Squats, lunges, push-ups, planks. I practiced the essence of modern fitness inside an ancient maiden’s quarters.
“Ugh… haa… haa…”
Ten push-ups and I was gasping for air. Twenty squats and my legs shook so badly I collapsed on the spot.
‘Pathetic…’
But I continued. Every night. In secret, beneath the moonlight while the maids slept. This was the only preparation I could make as Lü Zhi.
……
And then, Month Five. I made my decision.
‘I cannot become the villainess history recorded.’
A life of turning people into human swine, killing loyal subjects, and slaughtering my own kin? Absolutely not. I was just an ordinary citizen, Choi Dae-ri. I didn’t have that kind of mentality.
But at the same time…
‘Completely changing history is impossible.’
My knowledge was little more than what I’d read in novels. I didn’t know exact dates or intricate political situations. And above all, I had no power. A woman in this era possessed no authority whatsoever. I could not interfere in politics. I could not command armies. Wealth, status, and honor could only be obtained through men.
‘Then what should I do?’
I agonized for days. Refuse to marry Liu Bang? Impossible. This was not an era where a daughter could reject a marriage arranged by her father. Run away from Liu Bang? Where to? There was nowhere a woman could survive alone in this time. If lucky, I would freeze to death on the streets. If unlucky, I would be robbed and sold into slavery.
Kill Liu Bang? ……Insane. I had neither the strength nor the means, and doing so would completely alter the course of the Chu-Han Contention. The era of chaos might drag on even longer and become even bloodier.
‘……In the end, I have no choice but to marry Liu Bang.’
That was the safest insurance. For myself, and for the people of this era. I would ride the current of history. As Liu Bang’s wife, as the empress of the Han Empire, and eventually as empress dowager, I would secure the position of Empress Lü.
However.
‘I will live differently from that woman.’
That much I decided with absolute certainty. I would not turn Consort Qi into a human swine. I would not participate in Han Xin’s assassination. I would not favor the Lü clan and reject the Liu imperial family. Within the bounds history permitted, I would behave as virtuously as possible.
‘……Can I really do that?’
Honestly, I wasn’t confident. The definition of virtue in this era was completely different from that of a modern person. And maintaining virtue amid the palace intrigues of the inner court meant leaving behind unavoidable weaknesses.
‘No, I’m overthinking this.’
I shook my head. Yes, let’s keep it simple for now. Think only of a simple future.
‘First things first—Liu Bang… I need to figure out how to get along with that man.’
Of course, I had no intention of obediently offering my body to a man who was already in his late thirties. My essence was still that of a man, and my sexual orientation remained that of a heterosexual who properly liked women.
‘We can get along without a physical relationship, right? His other wives will bear him sons anyway.’
Yes, I had made up my mind. I would become Liu Bang’s wife, but I would not live as his wife in my heart. I would be his partner, not his spouse, and wisely navigate this chaotic age together.
‘Just you wait, Liu Bang…! For my safety and a comfortable retirement, I will use you thoroughly!’
Late summer night, 210 BCE. While King Jun, the last ruler of Dangun Joseon on the Korean peninsula, was being enthroned, on one absurdly muggy night in the distant past, I clenched my fist tightly while gazing at the moonlight pouring through the window.