When Something Precious Appears, Anyone Changes
Ever since she had treated that patient and sent him back to the village, she had begun calling for me more and more often.
Even during work hours she would summon me now and then to check on my condition, and because of that I had started seeing her in my dreams from time to time.
I did not mind it. In fact, I found it pleasant.
Outings with her beneath the mysterious night sky of my dreams, or across flower-strewn fields. Or sometimes meeting her in nightmares and fleeing together, or taking shelter from the cold inside a damp cave.
The more it happened, the longer the time I spent with her seemed to grow, and without realizing it I was drawing closer to her still.
Whether it was because I wanted it that way, or because she herself was changing, I could not say for certain.
What was clear was that her negative emotions were steadily increasing, mostly because of the growing interference and advances from other soldiers, patients, and elves.
Whenever such things happened she would confide her troubles to me at night, and the more she did, the more I heard the deliberately malicious rumors circulating about her, and felt the jealousy directed at me growing thicker.
The harder things became for her, the deeper her feelings and dependence on me grew, and because of that I, too, naturally drifted away from those around me and clung to her more and more.
"No matter how many times I tell them, no matter how firmly I refuse—if they would just take a hint when I put it nicely, why do they keep coming at me like this—"
"I understand completely, Thea. It's all right. I believe you."
"You believing me is one thing, but do you have any idea how angry this makes me? If it were you, would you feel good if other women kept clinging to me even knowing I was there?"
"From the start, no one else would even enter my field of vision. Whatever other people do, why would I ever pay them any mind?"
When I thought of her beauty, I wondered whether I would even have room to think of anyone else. And when I thought of how she wanted me by her side, how she always called for me before I could go to her first, even more so.
But today I had not come simply to spend time with her.
"...The time when you're beside me is the most comfortable of all."
Yet I could not easily bring myself to speak. With her arms around me, breathing softly, slowly closing her eyes—for her sake even more, I could not say it.
She needed rest, and for that she needed me. If she did not rest like this, her condition would surely grow worse.
Gently stroking the head of the woman who had fallen asleep with soft, even breaths, I relaxed my eyes a little and sank into thought.
Seeing even her radiant appearance gradually wearing away, it was clear this place was not good for her. Even now, at my fingertips, I could feel her skin growing a little rougher. Of course, it was still unbelievably soft despite that.
We had to tend to countless wounds, and when necessary we had to go out onto the battlefield to cleanse the corruption. Whenever word came that demons had crossed the border and abducted people, we would have to care for even more patients again. And the more that happened, the more her fatigue piled up, and the more often she called for me.
And I, who ran to care for her, also had to finish all my work before sleeping, so I was growing tired as well. Trying to manage both a relationship and work in a place like this was too much. Something had to be set aside, and the answer was already decided.
"...Should I step down from my duties as a priest?"
What I had with her was already more important than my duties. I could no longer focus on my work as a priest, and I had begun to resent giving my time to those who needed help. To keep my priestly qualifications with a mindset like this would be disrespectful.
"Mm... hmm? What did you say?"
Ah, had I said that out loud?
It had become a common occurrence whenever I was with her. I kept letting slip words that ought to stay locked inside my heart. Like a fool.
"No, no, just talking to myself. Go back to sleep."
Even as I patted her gently, trying to get her to sleep more, it seemed she had already heard me clearly.
"Quitting as a priest? What are you talking about?"
I carefully cradled her head as she tried to face me with her disheveled appearance, stroking her back and whispering into her ear.
"You look very tired right now. How about we talk about it over the weekend?"
"No... actually, I was thinking of quitting my work too..."
But instead, she blew softly into my ear and let out a faint laugh.
"I haven't been able to focus properly on my work, and because I've been concentrating on spending more time with you, I even got scolded recently. If that's how it is, then maybe I should just quit and try enjoying life a little more."
Tap—her finger brushed my cheek.
"With no one else but you, that is."
"Eh? Eh?"
In a moment the one holding had become her rather than me, and she pressed her nose to mine, freely showing me those golden eyes of hers. Looking into her eyes that seemed almost to burn, that even flickered, I froze, and a sensation like hot honeyed milk touching my lips began to spread through me.
"...Shall we write our resignation letters together?"
While I could say nothing, simply staring blankly as I tried to process what she had done in my mind, the sensation entered my mouth once more. My hand was firmly held, my body completely pressed against hers, and once again I found myself being called a fool by her.
Surely I was not a "fool." As a priest who had treated and cared for countless people, I had been competent enough to be assigned to this front line—that much was certain. Yet before her I forgot everything and became a child toyed with by her coquettish hands.
"Breathe slowly. If you start hyperventilating, other people will find out."
When our lips met again as she toyed with me leisurely, smiling with her eyes, and the force in our interlocked fingers grew stronger, I had no choice but to squeeze my eyes shut.
But whether I closed my eyes or opened them, she simply gazed at me endlessly and pressed deeper into me.
In the end, stepping down from my position as priest was refused, and her attempt to relinquish her medical staff qualifications was likewise rejected. And the hospital director facing us was clutching his head.
"We have no idea how many more patients may come in the future, and for two capable people to suddenly leave would be a very serious matter from our perspective. How can people who ought to understand that put me through such a trial?"
With his hollow eyes, he cut a truly pitiful figure. Watching him stamp documents and toss them into a basket even while speaking, amid the piles of papers and records stacked high, a sense of guilt was slowly welling up inside me—but
"That is of course regrettable, but something more important has come up for me."
Unlike me, she spoke firmly without the slightest hesitation and set the resignation letter down on the desk once more.
"I am resigning."
"You know full well I will not accept this so easily, Thea. This is not even something I can decide alone. You are one of the forest folk dispatched under the agreement between the elves and us humans. If you quit like this, from the elves you will—"
"That is a matter I have already decided to take upon myself."
This was something I did not know. Yet as if she meant to keep me from knowing, she shot the director a thoroughly uncomfortable look and cut him off.
"Thea—"
"Don't say a word."
Before I could ask her anything, she irritably raised a finger and covered my mouth.
"...I honestly do not know if a decision to cast aside the duty He has given us, swept up by emotion, is the right one—"
"That is for me to decide, not you. And if that is how you are going to put it, then I have no reason to get along with the people here either."
I was feeling that I had changed, and that the faith in my heart had wavered.
At first, in the midst of meeting her, I had been full of zeal for helping others. I had felt joy in helping and caring for others even more, and then receiving her recognition for it. But from some point on she had wanted only me rather than paying attention to others, and I, too, had come to find joy in being with her directly and caring for her more than for anyone else.
And so now, rather than shock at her words... I was feeling joy. I was marveling that she had come to prioritize me over the duties given to us.
Yet at the same time worry began to set in. If this was not the right thing—and perhaps prioritizing only her over everyone else was never a good thing—was continuing down this path truly the correct choice?
"For a long-lived race like you to be with a short-lived one—"
"It would be best if you stop before harsh words leave my mouth. Until now He has filled my patience, but it feels as though there is a limit to that amount. I can no longer even count how many times I have heard those words."
But what was clear was that she seemed to have already made her choice. It might be right to hear the reason in more detail later on.