For the Sake of One Life

For the sake of a single life.

A dead man's body rising to walk again.

That was something magic could accomplish.

Pouring one's will into a prayer and twisting its purpose.

That, too, was possible.

The barrier Evan and I had raised. The golden arrows I had hurled at the elves, dark black bleeding into their light. Things meant never to harm could become weapons.

That much, I understood.

But an eye floating in empty air, devouring everything around it?

That I could not comprehend.

I watched the shattered fragments of the altar slowly sink into the floor. That, too, was a sight that defied everything I knew of the world.

The mouthless eye spoke.

The air itself trembled, and the sensation of words being poured directly into my mind dropped me to the ground where I stood. The sound was vast and heavy. It was as though tens of thousands of voices — neither male nor female — had been poured together into a single torrent, and my thoughts began to scatter into chaos.

Those voices were growing calmer. The ones that had been ringing through my skull began to merge, knitting themselves into a single voice, their volume dwindling until they settled into one clear tone.

"Who... who are you?"

I tried to rise, bracing myself on my knees, then simply remained kneeling and looked up at the eye. I had done it deliberately — and the eye, seeing me, slowly descended until it met me at my own height.

As though reciting poetry, it explained itself in a calm, measured voice.

The moment that sentence ended, the voice shifted into a woman's. Reading the words aloud in a clear, ringing tone, rolling them from its throat like falling dew, the eye seemed to gaze wistfully into some far distance.

This time it was a rough, hard voice — a man's. It called to mind the short-lived races' holy knights, armored and standing on the brink of battle.

All those voices fused together. Five, six — no, dozens of voices quietly recited the next sentence as one.

The moment that final word filled my mind, I bowed my head as blood burst from my nose. A pain like my skull splitting open flooded every inch of my body. It felt as though something beyond what I could know was pouring into me — as though I had glimpsed knowledge past the limits of what my mind could bear, and my brain throbbed with the strain of it.

I forced myself to scrub from my thoughts the purple-saturated world that had flashed before my eyes, clinging to consciousness by a thread.

Before that eye that seemed already to have peered into my heart — before that violet radiance that blazed as it fixed its gaze upon me — I could only stare blankly into empty air.

It knew what I needed without my having to speak a word.

I wanted to live with Evan. A mere four years — no, forty years — no. Even the full span promised to the short-lived races would never be enough to fill the hollow left by every agony I had endured.

The misfortunes that had found me after I lost him had left too many wounds. And so I had begun to want Evan with me until the day I died. Evan, who had loved me, had a responsibility to that feeling.

Evan, who had left so much meaning in me, had been scorned before the elves under a designation that was not even a name — short-lived. He had been insulted. And then he had lost his life.

It was unjust. He could have been so much more. Something better, something greater, something grander — the man who had given my life its meaning.

...Never again. I would never allow such a thing to happen to him again.

And so, if it were possible — if by even the slightest chance it could be done — I would betray this entire world to take Evan back.

"Are you saying you can bring Evan back to life...?! That you can put him — my Evan — at my side again?"

And the answer I received was like finding a needle in the desert — like a hospital and its physicians finally appearing before a dying patient — like salvation arriving for priests stranded in isolation. It was nothing short of a miracle.

"Th-thank you — thank you...!!"

Something was said, but faster still was the way I prostrated myself before it.

"Do you need a ritual? Other people's souls? My lifespan? If I can love him again, I'll do anything — please, please, give me your revelation!!"

I clasped my hands. Beneath that eye I rubbed my joined palms together and bowed my head low. Faith had given me nothing. But this thing I had unleashed — this being of unknown nature — had told me it would reclaim Evan's soul. The value of every belief I had kept until the moment I lost him was pitiful beside this single instant. One sentence alone had become more precious to me than anything else.

As I crouched trembling before it, the eye drew closer.

The Chaos I had newly come to believe in began calmly explaining the rules of the world. Radiating a soft violet light, it expelled a desk from the wall and a table from the floor. Invisible tentacles gently wound around me and seated me there, and the eye itself quietly shifted into place.

What I was hearing was a massacre. Chaos was telling me that many lives would have to be taken before Evan could return to me.

"How many... how many people would I have to kill?"

Not doing it was already no longer among my choices. If I did it — how many, and how — those were the only things left to consider. This world no longer mattered to me. Among countless short-lived and long-lived races, the only one who had ever shown me love was Evan alone.

No matter how many times I turned it over, the only happiness I had ever found in my life was those four longest ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠years. Those four years had been the most beautiful of my existence, filled with too ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠many memories to count. But now they were nothing more than a handful of sand slipping through my fingers.

So if I could hold him in my arms again — if I could once more love that man with his bright, shy smile, the man who had been so flustered by my wanting him and yet felt pride in it, who had tried to answer me with love — then every other life standing upon this earth was worthless.

"Of course."

"...What?"

Chaos was telling me to go back to the hospital where Evan and I had worked. Back to all of them — the ones who had envied me, who had harassed me, who had raked me over with filthy eyes.

"There... the patients and the people —"

A thick, scraping voice filled every direction. Purple wounds were covering the walls.

From beyond the walls, screams suddenly rose. Startled, I stood from my seat — and through the curtains I saw silhouettes thrashing, bleeding, shaking their heads.

Liquid soaked the curtains. Rattling, clattering sounds filled the space. The sight was so horrific I wanted to turn my head away.

But then — a calm voice. A young man's voice. A single sentence spoken in that tone held me fast.

"...What did you just..."

What ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that meant was only one thing. That even as he died, Evan had not wanted to die.

That smile he had worn as he touched my face. That look in his eyes. That wretched expression twisted by terror — and yet those two eyes that had watched me until the very end. I still remembered them. And so I knew that single sentence was no lie.

If I soaked the entire hospital in blood exactly as it commanded — I could have Evan back.

"...If I do this — what is it that you want in return?"

And so I opened my mouth and put the question to Chaos. To the being that had made me a certain promise, I asked what price I would have to pay.

But the only answer that came back was that single sentence. And with it, the eye closed.

Darkness swallowed everything.

"Wait — I still have so much to ask...!"

I rose from my seat, thrashing my arms through the dark, desperately searching for Chaos. I still didn't know specifically what I was supposed to do, or how — there were too many questions left to simply leave it like this.

But pain soon found my eyes and forced them slowly shut. And in the instant complete darkness wrapped itself around me —

A faint whisper slipped into my ear. At that sensation I hurriedly opened my eyes, searching for any trace of violet —

"Aah!"

I had no choice but to drop where I stood, shielding my eyes from the sudden light. For a long while I sat there, fending off the heat of that terrible pain. When I could finally begin to see again, I gradually lowered my hands and looked around.

Before me, Evan lay upon the bed.

My pitiful lover — his body a ruin, thickly wrapped in bandages over wounds that would not heal.