Free Lunch (3)
Ah, why did I think so complacently? I had identified them as fanatics, treated them as fanatics, and yet still assumed they would behave rationally. What makes a fanatic a fanatic? It’s because they’ll do anything for what they believe in. If they possess even a fingernail’s worth of reason, it’s a miracle, and when facing those they’ve labeled as enemies, not a single scrap of self-restraint can be found.
I have to admit what needs admitting. This was my mistake.
“Everyone! Protect the people! Raise your shields and form ranks! As long as you don’t die, I’ll heal every one of you! Do not fear pain!”
Even while muttering Those crazy bastards under my breath, I shouted the order, demanding the paladins respond properly. Their movements changed at once.
I didn’t know how far those lunatics intended to go, but if things had continued as they were, the paladins would have fallen into a chaotic melee of individual combat. That would have sent everything spiraling toward the worst possible outcome.
Judging from what the imperial fanatics had just screamed, their targets weren’t limited to us. The poor gathered here were included as well. We might have managed somehow—clergy would desperately heal and paladins would protect the clergy—but what about the poor?
Once I decide to do something, I do it right. Blood must not splatter across a “free lunch” event wrapped in the banners of mercy and service. Absolutely not the blood of the customers I intended to win over, no matter what.
“Chaaaaarge!”
Fortunately, there was no tactical genius among the enemy fanatics. Their commands amounted to nothing more than mindless, one-sided aggression without the slightest situational judgment. Moreover, the imperial priests who had been dispatched here seemed hesitant to obey. Their reluctance was obvious.
“In the name of the exalted one, do not persecute your fellow believers! Though we are divided now, our roots were clearly one! Do not commit sin before the future in which we shall become one again!”
I seized the moment, radiating a meaningless golden glow with my divine power and shouting the words. The imperial paladins’ movements shifted from hesitation to outright retreat. One of them even fell to his knees right in front of me.
“Please listen to the Saintess. How can helping people be evil? I beg you to see reality clearly. There is no such thing as evil here.”
Yulia immediately stepped forward to expand our advantage. Come to think of it, the first paladin to kneel had been looking at Yulia, not me. She was the imperial princess, after all.
In the midst of it all, the imperial clergy delivered their own decisive blow. It was like watching someone slam their head into a wall.
“Heretics! Paladins, do not listen to the words of heretics! Deliver judgment in pursuit of the true faith!”
Unbelievable.
“Yulia. Are all the imperial clergy that… brain-dead?”
I leaned toward her and whispered very softly. She hunched her shoulders, trying to hold back laughter, and lowered her head. The bewilderment among the imperial paladins only grew. They probably thought she looked frightened or disappointed. Since they couldn’t have heard me, they would never imagine she was suppressing laughter.
“This is truly, truly sad.”
Whether she was answering my question or delivering a heavily veiled rebuke to the clergy, Yulia’s words caused nearly half the imperial paladins to sheathe their swords on the spot. A few bolder ones even crossed over to join us.
“W-what are you doing! There! The false saint of the false church and her accomplices are right there!”
Good grief. I never thought villains this stupid, this flat, the kind that only appear in mass-produced novels, actually existed in real life. Could they really not read the room?
But the true climax of this incident came from elsewhere.
“Who dares oppress others with force within the Academy!”
The sound of galloping hooves—clop-clop, clatter-clatter—and then Peter, the crown prince, reined in his horse nearby and shouted. Around a dozen royal knights of Brien followed on horseback.
It wasn’t a coincidence. When he heard that Yulia and I were coming to the slums for a kind of volunteer service, he had declared he would stand by with knights in case of any unforeseen trouble. The “unforeseen trouble” he had in mind was probably a riot among the poor or something similar, but reality had turned it into the blunder of imperial clergy who had come to keep us in check.
Even so, Peter displayed the perfect image of a future monarch.
“O-our clergy! How dare secular power use force—urk!”
“How dare anyone who seeks to oppress the Saintess with force at a place of service for the have-nots speak the word ‘clergy’! Knights, arrest every imperial cleric present!”
The moment the crown prince of Brien appeared with his knights, even the few imperial paladins who had still been holding their trembling swords finally sheathed them and carefully withdrew.
This confirmed that the consistent testimony from the noble youths—led by the son of that imperial ducal house—who had visited yesterday was true. People with zero self-awareness who naturally assume everyone else is beneath them, eventually sliding into exploitation. I had heard that the orthodox church couldn’t use divine power properly. These people didn’t even deserve to use it. This was a problem that came before the question of proper usage.
“You’ve been through a lot, Lucia.”
“Not at all. It’s nothing compared to the hardships Peter will face from now on.”
Once it became clear there were no variables left that could flip the situation, Peter approached on horseback and I gave him a calm reply. He was now acting and deciding as Brien’s representative. In other words, even if one side wanted to avoid escalation and end things at the level of religious conflict, the moment Peter led royal knights into the fray, the state had no choice but to become involved.
“You speak as if you’re simply stepping aside, Lucia.”
“Aren’t I? My domain is religion, not diplomacy.”
“Not this time. Regardless of the bad blood between the imperial church and the imperial family, they’ll try to snatch whatever benefits they can.”
Ah, that makes sense too. Then what should I do? I had used religion as a springboard to run wild economically in quite a flashy way, but I was far too lacking when it came to political maneuvering. So far I had managed to stir things up with the shallow, surface-level knowledge I’d accumulated from my previous life, but—
“I suppose I’ll have to spend some time praying at the Grand Cathedral.”
“If you step forward, Lucia, there are many who would lend you their strength.”
Lend me their strength? I was a saintess who had only appeared a few months ago. The things I had orchestrated in those few months had produced unexpected synergistic effects that snowballed into this, but the only people truly moved by me were those who had directly received miracles from me and Yulia. If I carelessly set foot in the middle of a political and diplomatic controversy now, those old snakes who had internalized the relevant theories with their entire bodies—though the era lagged a bit behind in formalizing them—would either devour me or use me as a shield.
I was not like those imperial clergy who lacked any self-awareness. No matter what the future held, I was not yet in a position to step forward and lead on such a grand stage. The situation might end up with me setting the board and then retreating, but that was still better than charging in with a single-shot pistol while others hurled missiles at each other.
“This incident will probably cause the Academy schedule to fall apart, won’t it? Then I should return to the Grand Cathedral. One visit to the Romano Grand Cathedral, one to the Endium Grand Cathedral. If time remains after that, it would be right to visit the grand cathedrals in the capitals of the other kingdoms as well.”
“Ah, I see. You still had the pilgrimage to each grand cathedral ahead of you.”
If not for this Academy business, that pilgrimage would likely have been my next schedule. It wasn’t a bad idea. It was the perfect opportunity to spread gold coins everywhere I went and raise my image.
“So once the Academy term is moved up and ends, I’ll depart immediately. I’ll only take Ziegfried and some of these paladins with me.”
“Will Her Highness Yulia not accompany you?”
“Well, she did gain divine power through me, but she is still an imperial princess. The church split because it couldn’t accept a hero from Brien. Do you think they’d allow a saintess and princess both from Brien to travel together? Especially on a tour of the kingdom grand cathedrals?”
Even I wouldn’t do that. I shook my head with an exaggerated gesture. Peter burst into a surprisingly clear laugh and answered.
“Hmm. You are very strict with yourself, Lucia. I suppose that’s why everyone acts that way.”
“There’s plenty to do anyway. I need to stabilize the Iron Alliance, build at least amicable relations with the cardinals, and so on. Thanks to you, Peter, matters with the royal family have become much easier. I’m grateful.”
“Is that so? I’m glad I could be of help to you, Lucia. In that case, shall we make time for a meal?”
A meal? An invitation to dine with the crown prince—wasn’t that just an invitation to the palace? I had been invited once before, and honestly, the atmosphere there wasn’t one where you could simply enjoy a meal. In the end, this too was probably an extension of political calculation. A display of the fact that this absurdly powerful saintess—who had essentially converted even the imperial princess—was truly close to the royal family, and that I was the bridge between them.
“I appreciate the invitation, but I’m not accustomed to the palace atmosphere, so it would be difficult to eat comfortably. I’ll gratefully accept the sentiment alone.”
What a model answer for refusal.Oh dear, I’m a frugal saintess who finds the palace burdensome. The food simply won’t go down there. Under normal circumstances I would never have been able to refuse the crown prince like this. Are you insane? Refusing the crown prince? Or rather—isn’t this an opportunity?
“Ah, if that’s the concern, it’s fine. I wasn’t suggesting the palace. I meant we could eat somewhere nearby. So please don’t feel burdened, Lucia.”
“Eh? Yes?”
Eat? Outside the palace? With me?
“Why do you look so surprised?”
“No, it’s just… what kind of person am I to share a meal with someone like you, the crown prince? People will misunderstand.”
It really was the perfect situation for misunderstanding. No matter how saintly one was, the clergy of this world were not forbidden from marriage. If things went wrong, rumors of a romance between the crown prince and the saintess could easily arise. That would be fatal for both Peter and me. For me it would be mostly a mental blow, but for Peter, the crown prince, the political repercussions would be enormous.
“Misunderstand? In what way?”
“Well, they’d assume you and I are in a serious relationship. At worst, people will think Brien is trying to monopolize both the hero and the saintess. Political attacks would begin immediately, both domestically and internationally.”
Leaving international reactions aside, the reason political attacks would begin domestically was, of course, the existence of both royalist and aristocratic factions within the kingdom. The conflict between royal authority and divine authority could never truly end. Moreover, a union between the crown prince and the saintess could be interpreted as royal power and church power joining hands. The nobles were not fools; they would never sit still.
“I see. It would be unfortunate if everything arose from such misunderstandings.”
“Right? So let’s not do anything that might—”
“Therefore, we should make the misunderstanding into truth.”
What the—?
“Um, Peter? That joke is a bit…”
“It is not a joke, Lucia. I wish to be in a serious relationship with you. Not for political reasons, nor any calculated motive—simply because I am attracted to you. I want to give you my heart and earn yours. As a man. As a person.”
Hey, come on. We haven’t even known each other that long.
“Uh, um, well… I haven’t thought that far yet…”
“So, let us begin with a meal.”
Augh. With a face that’s impossibly, devastatingly handsome, I couldn’t even shout “I’m a man!” and run away.