The Idiot Act
The power struggles and schemes of human society have persisted since ancient times. Even AI would need to master politics to be considered a truly complete artificial intelligence.
"This fucking bitch is the type who plays the idiot to lower people's guard."
The beautiful, busty lawyer Han Seo-rin slammed the document down after finishing it, her voice sharp.
Outside the room, paralegal Park Tae-gi flinched in surprise.
"Park Tae-gi."
"Yes!"
Suk Ho-pil appeared behind Tae-gi's back.
"You're on case number two. Write the petition for severe punishment."
"Huh? What's case number two?"
"Go into the e-litigation system and read it. The complaint."
"Yes, sir."
"In case number two, we're the complainants. So we need to send that perverted defendant straight to prison. Write it from the perspective of the female BJ who was raped, appealing to the judge."
"So for Attorney Han Seo-rin's case, we're representing the perpetrator—the rapist professor, right?"
"Watch your words. The professor is innocent."
"Yes, sir."
"The professor paid a five-thousand retainer and the success fee is a hundred million, so don't worry about his case. Attorney Han Seo-rin and I will handle it personally."
"Then how much did you get for the female BJ case?"
"That's none of your damn business, kid."
"I'm asking because of the tax invoice."
"Oh? Heh heh. The retainer is eleven million won including VAT—the lowest rate in Seocho-dong."
"Ugh, isn't eight point eight the standard?"
"Did you forget I'm Suk Ho-pil, second in my class at the Judicial Research and Training Institute? You think you can guess my worth, you little shit?"
"I'm sorry."
"Type faster! Get to work."
"Yes, sir."
There was a reason Suk Ho-pil assigned the severe punishment petition to Park Tae-gi, the legal assistant who self-deprecatingly called himself an An-yeo-dwae—glasses, acne, pig. The female influencer, digital creator, and internet broadcast BJ who claimed she was raped after having dinner with a chairman was originally a delinquent thug-type. Writing was about thirty thousand miles outside her skill set. On the other hand, Tae-gi was an aspiring web novel author. He could crank out one hell of a shitpost when he put his mind to it. The only problem was that his writing wasn't quite good enough to become a five-thousand-per-month kick author. He'd only ever signed one publishing contract in his life.
To focus on writing the severe punishment petition, Tae-gi hammered away at his keyboard while watching the Zero Two dance. Vietnamese song lyrics leaked out from under his headset.
[Name: Jeup-serin (real name Do Je-ni). She's bounced around several channels. The plastic surgery vibe is strong. Not a major company talent.]
Even a nameless BJ like this had multiple chairman "oppa" sponsors. They got milked for huge sums like suckers, but most of them only paid out a few times. Otherwise the money wouldn't keep coming in.
"It was just a dinner date with no sexual relations involved... I, Do Je-ni (Jeup-serin), who has always aimed for wholesome broadcasts... the chairman took me, while I was drunk, to a motel... when I came to, I felt pain in my lower body..."
If done right, it looked like the guy would be charged with quasi-rape causing injury rather than simple quasi-rape. As Tae-gi wrote the petition, a wave of self-loathing hit him.
[The reason I came to work under Attorney Suk Ho-pil was because of this man's character...]
"Tae-gi. Don't beat yourself up."
"Huh?"
Suk Ho-pil, who had approached without him noticing, comforted him.
"There's no law that says whores can't get raped. If you watch that famous Robert De Niro movie Cape Fear, the message is that even a woman of loose morals shouldn't be raped."
"But sir, the chairman in the Jeup-serin case was a female high school teacher in her forties. She's already lost her job and her family is destroyed."
"The more important part is why Robert De Niro goes to find his old lawyer for revenge in Cape Fear."
"I don't know that movie."
Suk Ho-pil had a habit of ignoring others and only saying what he wanted.
"The lawyer hid favorable circumstances for Robert, the rapist. That's why he got a heavy sentence and his life went to shit. We're different."
"How so?"
"If that high school teacher perpetrator is truly innocent, then her lawyer should prove it. It's not our problem."
"Still, you saved me back when you were a judicial apprentice at the prosecutor's office, sir."
"I was just there for the prosecutorial experience. I wasn't an actual prosecutor."
"Then... if you had been a real prosecutor..."
"Let's not entertain those kinds of fantasies."
"Ugh..."
"Our top priority right now is to petition for severe punishment against that perverted teacher for abusing her position as an internet broadcast chairman to rape a female BJ, injure her vagina, and then shamelessly claim innocence without a shred of remorse."
"Is that okay?"
"Of course it is. If the man gets punished, the success fee is ten million. Don't look down on money. The rent here, your salary, and that newbie lawyer Han Seo-rin's pay are bending my back."
"Yes, I understand. If he's truly innocent, her side's lawyer has to prove it."
"Life is inherently unfair. It's all a coin toss. Throw away your guilty conscience."
"Wise words indeed."
At that moment the door burst open.
"Let's go eat."
Han Seo-rin clapped her hands with brisk energy.
They decided on an expensive tonkatsu place for lunch. The three of them went to the popular tonkatsu restaurant, added their names to the waiting list.
"What do you think about the BJ case, Han?"
"It's an easy one."
"Yeah, I almost finished the complaint draft this morning. Once Tae-gi finishes the petition, I just need to polish it."
"My argument summary can just be submitted as-is, right?"
"How bold. I bet it's a long-winded speech."
"Why do you think that?"
"Too many words. Judges and prosecutors hate that shit and won't read it properly."
"I see."
"Don't worry. Our side's additional evidence will prove the professor's innocence."
Tae-gi chimed in from the side.
"But both perpetrators are teachers and professors."
"Public officials and people who teach others tend to have weak senses of guilt. They get lazy, abuse their power, and act superior. They think they're the only ones who matter."
The tonkatsu line had shortened, so they entered the restaurant. All three ordered different items. Suk Ho-pil got curry tonkatsu. Han Seo-rin ordered katsudon. Park Tae-gi chose the high-calorie cheese tonkatsu.
As he devoured his food, Tae-gi asked,
"What's the way for that professor to be found not guilty?"
Suk Ho-pil answered kindly.
"When someone makes a false rape accusation, you must never apologize or pay for the motel. Consistent statements become evidence of guilt."
"So in other words, the professor is a hundred percent guilty."
Han Seo-rin's expression lacked confidence.
"Then what kind of long-winded nonsense did you write in the document? Summarize it roughly for me here before I go back to the office and read it."
"Evidence of their romantic relationship and the contents of their KakaoTalk conversations."
"Your tone is a bit short. You did well, but you're missing one decisive thing."
Both Seo-rin and Tae-gi looked at him at the same time. Suk Ho-pil mixed the curry with the egg yolk as he answered.
"CCTV."
"What? The police investigation didn't have that."
"I got it from a detective I know well. He sent it before lunch."
"That's incredibly competent. Something the police couldn't find."
"Hahaha. Don't act so impressed. Why the hell would the police bother securing evidence favorable to the suspect?"
"No way. The police, the guardians of the people, conducting an unfair investigation..."
"They absolutely would. Our country's police have been like this since the Japanese colonial era. If someone's grandfather was a cop, they're almost always a building owner now. In the provinces, it's really common for local dignitaries to have had police fathers."
Corruption. Lackeys of power. And a long history of turning innocent people into criminals. That's the Korean police. Giving them the power to close investigations was a policy that only killed ordinary citizens, but most people didn't know that.
Tae-gi, now sullen, agreed with Suk Ho-pil.
"You requested that video from the detective last night, right? Something that could be secured in a day. The police are just pretending not to see it."
"What's in the video?"
"The motel's home cam was luckily installed at the desk and even recorded their conversation. This is the jackpot."
"Let me hear it."
"It's at the office. I already sent you the copied audio file."
"Then everything I wrote in the document about them being in a secret relationship was pointless."
"No, no. It connects with the recording. After the professor said they should end things, his grad student begged him to hold her one last time."
"Crazy."
"The woman acts clueless while seducing him. Then she stabs him in the back. The purpose of these false rape accusations is money."
Suk Ho-pil declared it plainly. If Korean men were potential sex offenders, then Korean women were potential honey traps.
Tae-gi paid with the corporate card.
"Let's get coffee too."
Suk Ho-pil found the flavor of his iced Americano particularly satisfying.
"Do we really need that much money?"
Han Seo-rin felt hollow. In the document, she had emphasized how the female graduate student's behavior during their affair—acting casual while seducing her male professor—was the textbook example of a vixen pretending to be easygoing. But she hadn't expected the woman to deliberately lure the professor who wanted to break up to a motel and then systematically pin the crime on him.
"The settlement demand starts at fifty million. Pay once and it's fifty million. The girls at the Gangnam oppa rooms are actually more conscientious. Sexual harassment is thirty million, sexual harassment remarks are five million. That's the market rate for sex crimes."
"Because it's trauma for the victim and they can't recover from the crime. Of course, only in cases where they're real victims."
"Are there really that many cases of randomly grabbing pretty young women off the street and raping them? Most are acquaintance rapes. Or they meet at hunting pocha bars, go to a motel, and it happens. The real question is why they go to those hunting bars in the first place, and how they end up moving to a motel."
"There are cases where they lose consciousness and get dragged away."
"Yeah, in those cases there's nothing to say. But nine times out of ten, the only evidence of guilt is the woman's statement. There's no objective proof, so the man has to find evidence of his innocence."
From the side, Tae-gi added one more thing.
"Attorney Han. Did someone die? 'Can't recover from the crime'? This isn't an era where chastity is mandatory. It seems like Korean feminists have fallen into moral puritanism and turned into Confucian feminists who place heavy importance on virginity."
"Ha, that's going too far. Park Tae-gi, know your place. I'm a lawyer. You're an employee."
"Gack."
"Heh heh. Seo-rin's right. We just need to make money like them. Tomorrow, Seo-rin, go visit the professor who's locked up in the detention center and tell him we've found evidence of his innocence. And Tae-gi, Jeup-serin is coming to the office in the afternoon, so prepare to entertain her."