Actually, One Plate of Stir-Fried Chicken Gizzard Gets You Through Three Bottles of Booze
Actually, One Plate of Stir-Fried Chicken Gizzard Gets You Through Three Bottles of Booze
"Why... why would you eat gizzards?"
Kobi asked me, looking genuinely mystified.
Yeah. Foreigners always react like this the first time they hear about chicken gizzards.
I understood completely.
-Oh wow, how Korean eat... gizzard? How you have taste for this?
If people from other countries on Earth react that way, then the people of this world—the empire—were well within my range of understanding.
Kobi, who had been staring at me almost contemptuously, took a step back.
"I always thought you were a good man, Lucas, but I never knew you had... tastes like these."
"A chicken gizzard—or in this case, a Coco gizzard—has nothing to do with actual guts."
"Then what is it?"
I watched him for a moment.
"What do you think?"
"Excuse me?"
"Aren't you curious?"
"N-no, not particularly."
"I'll tell you after you eat."
I gave my stomach a firm pat.
The color drained from Kobi's face.
Chicken gizzard.
The name throws people off, making them think it's something it isn't, but it actually refers to the bird's gizzard.
Thanks to its incredibly dense and resilient muscle fibers, the texture is spectacular. Whether fried or stir-fried, it's the ultimate drinking snack.
'Fried goes with beer. Stir-fried goes with soju.'
The liquor I'd brought was soju, so today it was stir-fried Coco gizzard.
But even after that heartfelt explanation, Kobi still hadn't stepped any closer.
"Ahem. I... I should be getting back. Just remembered an urgent matter in the capital."
"And where do you think you're going."
Oh no. No, no.
You already lit a fire under my need for validation.
"I-I left a campfire burning at home. Ha-ha! If I don't get back fast to put it out, the whole place might go up."
"We both know a campfire won't burn your house down."
You want to know what I used to do to foreigners who dismissed chicken gizzards?
-K-Food? Delicious. St-stir-fried gizzard... so good...
I'd stuff them until their stomachs were fit to burst.
Kobi. You're not going anywhere.
I grabbed the wrist of the fleeing Kobi.
Gnome or no, mysterious race or not, no one slips out of a knight's grip that easily.
"Hurk!"
"Eat first, then leave."
"Lucas, I've told you, I don't have those kinds of... tastes..."
"Eat. Then leave."
"Hnngh..."
I forcibly dragged a whimpering Kobi into the restaurant.
"Help..."
A faint cry reached my ears. I ignored it.
Because that cry was about to turn into rapture.
***
Kobi. Senior manager of the Golden Wagon merchant group, right hand to the guildmaster, and the Golden Wagon's top earner last year.
A gnome with an affinity for nature spirits and animals, and a genius with numbers.
Of all gnomes, Kobi was exceptionally skilled at calculation and commerce.
Golden Wagon had expanded from a caravan operation in the empire's hinterlands and provincial territories into a central power in the capital, all thanks to his sales instincts and financial mind.
The number two of one of the richest merchant guilds in the empire.
Ordinarily, he could've just handled his work in the capital, but he'd traveled all the way out to the countryside as a favor to an old friend.
It wasn't just because it was a favor.
It was because that friend was Lucas.
In seven years of business, not once had Lucas ever been late with a payment.
A knight who never looked down on gnomes.
And a man who could cook exceptional food.
Back when Lucas was a cook knight in the Princess's Knight Order, Kobi had tasted his cooking more than a few times.
It had been so delicious.
'I came all the way out here in person.'
And for what!
To be served some dish made from bizarre, gut-like organs.
Kobi was facing the gravest crisis of his life.
'Gizzard? What in the world is that supposed to be?'
Kobi watched Lucas hum as he prepped his ingredients.
"A-are you seriously planning on feeding me this... gizzard stuff?"
"You keep doubting me. Want to see it first?"
"That's a bit..."
Lucas, who had been rinsing the ingredients in water, pulled out a bowl filled with gizzards.
"You know what's great about Viscount Britten's territory? It's rural, but the land's richer than you'd think—plenty of ingredients. Poultry farms, ranching, fertile fields. And if you ride an hour by horse, you hit the coast."
Kobi wanted to ask why, out of all that abundance, he had to be served guts. But he didn't.
"There's a poultry farm managed by the viscountcy. I asked the manager to call me whenever they butchered chickens. That's where I got these."
The bowl was packed with red flesh.
"This is Coco gizzard."
'The color, at least, is fine.'
Kobi shook his head in silent horror.
He was losing his mind.
The color was fine?
Did he know what this was?
Gizzard!
Gizzard!
For all he knew, there could be anything inside that thing, and here he was being hypnotized by the color. Had he lost all reason?
"It's going to be delicious."
Lucas grinned at the horrified Kobi.
Kobi thought that smile looked distinctly demonic.
"I-I'll trust you."
At the very least, nothing Lucas had ever cooked for him had tasted bad.
Having finished prepping the ingredients, Lucas began to cook.
He sliced the Coco gizzards into bite-sized pieces.
Gizzard is a cut of meat with absolutely no fat on it.
Just watching the knife work gave you a sense of how tough the muscle would be.
'And they keep dung in that thing?'
No way.
Next to the gizzards sat a mound of Gallek, a seasoning widely used to add savoriness.
Its spiciness and distinctive aroma made Gallek a familiar ingredient to any citizen of the empire who knew good food.
Eaten raw, it stung the nose, so it was usually sliced or minced and used as a spice...
Why was there so much Gallek?
The pile of white Gallek was nearly as big as the pile of gizzards.
"Are you planning on using that Gallek for tomorrow's business?"
"Gallek? Ah, you mean the garlic? This is all for the stir-fry."
"What?"
Gizzards and that much Gallek.
It was an absurd combination.
If it had been anyone but Lucas, Kobi would have told them to quit joking around.
"It's seriously good. Stop doubting me."
Lucas added a splash of water to a frying pan, dropped in the gizzards, and brought them to a boil.
While they simmered, he trimmed off the root ends of the Gallek cloves.
Then he threw in every last clove.
"Hurk!"
"Hey! I told you to stop doubting me."
"But..."
Could this possibly be right?
No matter how good a cook Lucas was, everyone made mistakes.
What if this was one of them?
What if he was using Kobi as a test subject to develop a new menu item?
Kobi's mind was racing.
"Nicely par-cooked."
Lucas scooped out the lightly boiled Gallek and gizzards, emptied the water from the pan, then threw it all back in with a generous glug of oil.
Sssss!
The gizzards and Gallek began to sear in the oil, letting out a delicious sound.
'It's fine, right?'
Setting his anxiety aside, the smell wafting up was genuinely good.
'Fine. If I can't avoid it, I might as well enjoy it.'
Though whether that was possible remained to be seen.
As Kobi thought this, Lucas sprinkled on salt and a dash of crushed sesame oil.
The aroma of gizzards and Gallek frying in sesame oil hit his nose hard.
That's it.
That's what made Lucas's cooking taste so much better.
Watching the process up close, the sizzle and the smell sharpened every one of Kobi's senses.
"Coco gizzard stir-fry."
Lucas plated the finished dish and held it out with a bright smile.
But Kobi couldn't smile back.
Gallek and gizzards.
What in the world did this taste like?
***
Every time I held out the gizzard stir-fry and saw Kobi's horrified face, I laughed on the inside.
At first, I'd thought about just kindly explaining that it was a Coco's gizzard.
Animals like the Coco look like chickens and share a similar anatomy.
Their gizzards tasted just as good.
They were slightly less tough than regular chicken gizzards, but the flavor ran deep.
I'd considered just explaining it to put him at ease. But watching his reaction, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Teasing him was just too satisfying.
As my smile grew wider with each completed step, Kobi's face steadily soured.
I set down the gizzard stir-fry and placed a bottle of soju beside it.
The ultimate drinking snack.
Coco gizzard stir-fry—the best thing to eat with a drink after a long day.
I swallowed hard, poured soju into a glass, and let my mouth water.
Chicken gizzards and a cold shot of soju.
I was dying to dig in, but first, the gnome across from me.
"Give it a try."
"...Understood."
A condemned man being dragged to the torture chamber would've looked brighter.
"You're really not just messing with me?"
Ah, to hell with it.
He looked like he'd never eat unless I went first, so I picked up my chopsticks.
I grabbed a whole clove of what this world calls Gallek, a piece of Coco gizzard, and shoved them both into my mouth.
Crunch!
"Khh."
The perfectly roasted garlic aroma melting softly across my tongue, coupled with the gristly crunch of Coco gizzard snapping like fried cartilage.
That savory flavor—a taste I hadn't had in so long—was calling for soju.
I lifted my glass and threw it back.
"Kkhh!"
This was heaven.
Normally, clinking glasses together is the polite way, but this was an exception.
"Eat. It's really good."
At last, the skeptical Kobi lifted his chopsticks and picked up a piece of gizzard.
"Eat it together with the garlic— I mean, the Gallek. It's way better."
"Alright, let's do that."
Kobi took a bite.
Crunch!
"Oh?"
"Good, right?"
His eyes went round as he stared at me.
"What in the...? Has gizzard always tasted like this? It feels completely different from ordinary meat."
"Of course. It's a special cut."
He shut his mouth at that.
Time to stop teasing him.
"Truth is, this is where the gizzard sits. Here. The Coco's stomach."
"The stomach?"
"An organ. It's the most muscular part, which gives it the most unique texture."
"Which means..."
"It is not, in fact, a storage unit for droppings."
"Ahh."
Kobi finally let out a sigh of relief.
"I really did think you were messing with me. Nearly gave me a heart attack."
"Everyone reacts like that. Have a drink and then try it together with that Gallek. It'll taste even better."
I filled my glass with soju and raised it.
Cheers.
I knocked back the shot.
"Kkhh!"
Another bite of gizzard and whole garlic together.
The savory flavors of the two ingredients melded in my mouth.
The garlic even carried a faint, curious sweetness.
The sharp burn of alcohol left from the soju mixed with the Coco gizzard to produce a rich, toasty depth.
"That's the stuff."
"Woah! Lucas! This is..."
Kobi cried out in admiration.
I chased another piece of gizzard, using his reaction as my side dish.
"Good, right?"
"Why haven't you made this for me until now?"
I picked up the blue soju bottle in answer.
"I never had the ideal partner for it."
Chicken gizzards without soju are like a fish without water.
That moment when the richness coats your mouth and the soju washes it clean!
That sharp, blazing sensation as you gulp it down.
The fabled truth-serum combo beloved by my own family back home—the one that gets you drunk in an instant and rambling about your life story and your childhood before the night is through.
That's the magic of chicken gizzards and soju.
Kobi nodded at my words.
"I acknowledge it. Without this liquor, I doubt it would taste this incredible. My hand keeps drifting toward the bottle. This is the ultimate drinking snack. The soju and Coco gizzards pair way too well together."
Kobi's hand was already reaching for his glass again.
There was something deeply odd about watching a boy who looked maybe fifteen knock back soju.
I felt a phantom pang of Confucian outrage, a brief urge to smack him upside the head.
'He might be older than me, for all I know.'
I tamped down that Confucian boy impulse bubbling up inside.
"Khh, as expected, your skills haven't rusted at all."
"What's there to rust? It's barely been a few months since I quit."
"Ahem. That's what I wanted to discuss."
Kobi plucked another piece of Coco gizzard with his chopsticks and spoke.
"Have you ever thought about reconsidering? As the personal chef for our merchant group..."
"No. Absolutely not."
Ugh, way to kill the drinking mood.
Who do you think you're trying to send off to the great beyond?
"If she wants to eat it that badly, tell the guildmaster to come here herself."
"...You're serious?"
"Yeah. I'm dead serious."
I'd sooner die than go there.
No, I'm not going because I'd probably actually die.
"Alright. I'll tell the guildmaster exactly that. If she wants to eat it, she can come find you herself."
Kobi took another bite.
He'd been so disgusted earlier, and now look at him.
"Gizzards are good, aren't they?"
Kobi raised a thumb.
Crunch!
This texture, I'm telling you, it's insane.
Ah, soju tastes so sweet.
The taste of home.
***
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★ ★ ★
★ ★
My nmae is Kobi and I drank ths. Ta first I though it was weird. Afetr trying it, it's heavan.
Goes perefct with soju.
Pleaze give lots of love to GW Soju.
Guildmatser that son of a bitch! I have a temper too!
Is your mouthe the only mouth?!
Recommended Menu: Coco Gizzard - Soju
- Golden Wagon Senior Manager (Future Guildmaster Important!) Kobi -
==============
The next day, Kobi left at the crack of dawn, saying he had a mountain of backed-up work.
I asked if he wasn't going to have something for his hangover first.
"The spirits will fix everything. Gnomish recovery is the best on the continent. Uurp!"
He had eaten so much of my food that he rushed off, terrified the guildmaster would find out.
He'd apparently even forgotten he'd written that review.
With the grand opening just a day away, I needed to prep my new menu, so I rode from the viscountcy toward the coast, an hour away by horse.
"Ugh, is the booze still in my system...? My stomach's churning."
I'd gone a little too hard drinking with Kobi.
"Uurp!"
Deeply queasy.
Circulating mana through my body to flush the hangover would've been easy. But where's the charm in that?
I kept swaying on horseback, struggling to keep my balance as we went.
This wasn't drunk driving.
The horse was moving on its own.
"Ugh, take care of me, buddy."
Maybe I should've eaten something before setting out.
"Should I make the new menu a hangover cure?"
Didn't sound half bad.
Splash! Splash!
An hour of riding brought me to the coast.
The briny scent of salt tickled my nose.