It's All Ruined
It's All Ruined
'Everything fell apart.'
Andrea bit her lower lip, seething at herself.
She had planned this day to spend time alone with Lucas.
She'd picked out the best restaurant she could manage, somewhere that wasn't a knight restaurant, wanting to share a meal and talk about all sorts of things with him.
Not work talk. Something a little more personal.
But the manager and head chef had recognized Lucas instantly. They'd gazed at him with reverent eyes and presented their menu, practically begging him to evaluate their food.
Their private outing had, in the blink of an eye, turned into a Lucas food review session.
She let her lips jut out into a pout.
She couldn't help resenting the restaurant manager.
'Never coming back here.'
Had she known it would turn out like this, she would have avoided this place entirely.
The whole point had been to have a conversation together.
Everything had fallen apart.
Andrea pressed her lips together, frustration tightening in her chest.
Lately, a growing unease had taken root inside her as she watched other people swarm around Lucas.
Ivan had entered Lucas's kitchen. Bldi was monopolizing all of Lucas's affection. And recently, the knights had gotten good enough to handle prep work on their own.
—Ohh! Lady Andrea, look at this! Pretty thin, wouldn't you say?
Among them, the most diligent—Heimer—had started stretching his sword energy thin enough to use in actual practice.
She was impressed with her own teaching, yet a worry had begun coiling inside her.
What if. Just what if.
What if the other knights also learned to wield thin sword energy, just like Ivan?
Wouldn't they, too, enter the kitchen and start learning to cook, just like Ivan?
'Meanwhile, I'm barred from cooking lessons just because I'm an elf...'
Knights weaker than her were learning the better skills.
She knew, rationally, that she had carved out her own role at the restaurant.
She knew she was the only one who could greet customers the way she did.
But. Even so.
'I want to learn cooking alone with the boss, too.'
More than learning how to cook, being alone with him in the same space mattered more.
The dining room demanded constant attention from customers, so the time she actually spent with Lucas was painfully scarce.
At best, their exchanges went something like:
—Andrea, two curry rice bowls!
—Two curry rice bowls, table twelve!
Handing off orders and receiving dishes—that was the extent of it.
It wasn't enough.
Nowhere near enough.
Lately, anxiety had been creeping in—the fear that her presence in Lucas's eyes was slowly fading.
So on the restaurant's day off, she had boldly gone to Lucas's house and made separate plans with him.
Of course, springing it on him the same day meant he might refuse. She'd braced herself for that.
But.
'This is the only way to peel Bldi off him.'
These days, Bldi had been showing a strange tendency to cling right to the boss's side.
She didn't work the floor—hiding behind claims of shyness and timidity—so instead she'd hover beside Lucas in the kitchen, poking her face out to peek at the customers.
Some customers actually found that endearing.
A vampire so timid that humans think she's cute.
Andrea knew, of course.
Bldi's timidity was genuine.
That didn't mean gluing herself to Lucas's side was acceptable.
'It's not like I've had many proper conversations with humans myself.'
Back when she was a hunter, she'd rarely exchanged more than ten words with any human.
Hunting required no conversation.
So she, too, had struggled tremendously in the beginning.
'And yet. And yet...'
Andrea's cheeks puffed out with a petty surge of jealousy.
'Jealous? Me? Of Bldi?'
She blinked, repeating the thought inside her head.
'I'm... jealous.'
She was jealous of Bldi, stationed right beside the boss.
This whole craving to enter the kitchen—it wasn't just because of Ivan after all.
Heat rushed to Andrea's face.
At first, she'd simply been happy because Lucas's food was delicious.
Eating his cooking reminded her of the first time she'd tasted meat, and that lifted her spirits.
Every time she discovered a new frontier of flavor, her heart raced, and each time, she felt genuinely happy.
He was the one who had served new dishes to her when she'd been wandering the continent alone, far from home, and the one who had given her a place to live.
Granted, their connection had formed through an unsavory incident, but that was all in the past. Now, they were a boss and employee whose coordination was second to none.
She'd chalked it up to that.
That sense of reassurance she felt whenever she was with Lucas.
But it hadn't only been because of his food.
'So... because he's the boss?'
Had she liked it because it was Lucas?
Still—what did it even mean, to like someone?
She was an elf, a race that lived far longer than humans, yet when it came to emotions between men and women, her knowledge was a complete blank.
She possessed extensive knowledge of magic and spirits, of swordsmanship and hunting, but for an elf who'd had scarce contact with other races—let alone her own—the feeling called love was profoundly foreign.
No—elves as a species simply didn't experience passion for the opposite sex with any great intensity.
Because they lived so long, their love was muted like charcoal embers, and their expressions of it tended toward the indirect rather than the overt.
Andrea didn't even have that much experience, and so she found herself, for the first time in her elven life, thoroughly tangled in her own feelings.
Her thoughts, however, were cut short.
Lucas had approached without her noticing and tapped her gently on the shoulder, concern written on his face.
"Andrea, you okay?"
"H-huh?"
"Your face is really red. You're not sick, are you?"
"N-no. I'm fine."
The moment Lucas moved closer, the image of him half-naked that morning burst into her mind.
Lucas, walking out with only a gown wrapped around his waist.
A body far too solid for a cook—sharply defined abs, a firm chest...
No no no!
She shook her head violently and barely managed to quell the heat in her face.
"O-oh, I was planning to treat you today, but the manager went and covered it himself. That kind of... hahaha, i-it's fine. Saves money, which is nice."
"......."
She barely registered her own words, babbling on in a desperate attempt to shake off the awkwardness.
"S-should we get up? We're done eating."
She knew she was spouting nonsense, but no other words came to mind.
Above all, she wanted to flee the scene.
After showing such a mess of herself, the boss must be disgusted.
"I'm sorry. I was the one who brought you out, and everything turned into a disaster."
Once outside, Andrea spoke in a deflated voice.
Nothing had gone right.
She'd prepared a few things for after the meal, but she'd been so frazzled that she'd completely forgotten them.
Ruined.
She'd ruined it herself.
If she'd pulled herself together even a little, she could have salvaged things somehow.
'Idiot.'
Yeah. Maybe it had never suited her in the first place.
She might not be the same as she once was, but the person she was now had changed a great deal, hadn't she?
Her un-elf-like generous chest and thighs, the little belly roll that had emerged from all the eating, the thighs once armored in hard muscle now replaced with soft flesh.
Hadn't Blackbeard said as much?
—You're no elf. Tell me you're a tall dwarf woman and I'd believe it!
A tall dwarf woman.
She'd made an effort, wearing the most feminine two-piece outfit sold in the city of Lilyan, but it must have looked ridiculous anyway.
'My old elven traditional clothes don't even fit anymore...'
She was an elf in race alone. No one would even see her as a woman anymore.
As gloom settled over her, Lucas gently stroked her head.
"We've had a solid meal. Want to take a walk? Or head back to the restaurant?"
"...The restaurant's fine."
"Then let's walk a little."
At Lucas's warm words, Andrea looked up at him quietly.
Ah. Now she understood.
It was the way he gently steered the conversation away when he saw she was struggling.
That kindness worn into him like a second skin.
That was why she'd always felt warmth from Lucas.
"Okay."
Andrea fell into step beside Lucas, walking through the streets.
They passed through the market and strolled around the walls of Britten Castle.
"How's work?"
"Good. It's doable, more than I expected... I've gotten used to it. Actually, it's much more stable than hunting, so I like it. And..."
She couldn't finish the sentence.
She couldn't bring herself to say that it was good because of the boss.
Because once she let that out of her mouth, she felt like there'd be no reining it back in.
Because she feared Lucas would reject the fuller version of herself that had replaced the hunter she'd been.
And beyond that, the gulf of their races loomed between them.
An elf of the long-lived races, and a human of the short-lived.
Wasn't it said that love between the two always ends in tragedy?
Andrea kept her heart locked behind her lips and simply walked beside him.
"Um, boss."
"Mhm?"
"I'm thinking I should lose some weight."
"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?"
"I think I've put on a little weight lately—maybe not exercising enough. You can see it too, can't you?"
Andrea asked without quite looking at him.
"I think it looks good on you, actually."
"What?"
"Honestly, I used to wonder if you were too thin. I mean, if you feel like your training as a knight is slipping, we can work on that together."
Andrea turned her head toward him.
He was gazing at her with gentle eyes.
Utterly sincere, without a trace of falsehood.
"Really? It doesn't look unsightly or anything?"
"Not at all."
"I... I see. That's a relief."
She let out a sigh of relief and smoothed a hand over her chest.
Even if Lucas's words had been a kind lie meant to reassure her, she was grateful.
Lucas walked with Andrea around the plains near the castle, asking her about this and that.
The hobby he'd recently picked up, the menu items that had been the tastiest, why he'd installed shower fixtures in his house and the staff quarters.
They barely touched on work, chatting instead about small, everyday topics.
How long did they talk?
The two kept walking until the sun began dipping lazily toward the horizon.
She didn't feel tired.
Part of that was her strong stamina, but she also simply enjoyed this time.
Andrea regretted not doing any of the things she'd planned, but spending time alone with him like this wasn't bad at all.
It felt like they'd shared a special moment that none of the other employees knew about, and that lifted her mood.
"Andrea."
"Yes."
"Do you remember the day we first made our contract?"
"...Yes. We entered into it under somewhat... unsavory circumstances."
"We did. The term was ten months back then."
"Right."
"In four more months, those ten months are up. What do you plan to do after that?"
The mention that only four months remained hit her with the tangible rush of passing time.
Already, half a year had passed since she started working with Lucas.
Had time ever flown by so quickly in her life before?
It felt bittersweet.
That this life had only four months left.
"...I don't know."
No, she did know.
She wanted to stay.
She wanted to keep working as an employee of the Knight Restaurant and carry on this life.
"Boss, hypothetically speaking. Just hypothetically... if I said I wanted to keep working here, would you accept that?"
At her question, Lucas looked at her as if the answer was obvious.
"Of course. You're our restaurant's very first employee."
"I... am?"
Her chest swelled at being called the first employee.
It made her feel valued.
But.
'A slightly different relationship might have been nice, though.'
A more special relationship, for instance.
Still, she couldn't give voice to her heart.
Someone might call her a coward for it, but for now, she wanted to be content with this.
Because if she confessed and was rejected, this relationship would surely shatter.
She didn't want that.
'If I'm going to say it, I'll do it at least when the contract renews...'
Not as a temp whose term runs out in four months, but once she became a permanent employee who could keep working here.
If she did it then, even if she was rejected, she probably wouldn't be forcibly thrown out.
She looked at Lucas and nodded.
"I want to keep working here, even after the contract ends."
At those words, Lucas smiled.
"Thank you. I was worried you might turn it down."
Seeing his smile, Andrea fell silent and walked beside him.
'As if I could ever turn you down.'
She swallowed those words and kept walking with Lucas until the evening drew near.
"It's gotten late. Let's head back."
"Okay."
Andrea smiled brightly and returned to the castle with Lucas.
