There's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠No Paradise Where You Run To

"Hmm... this is a real problem."

I'd always known Princess Diana would find out where I was eventually.

There wasn't a single corner of the empire her reach didn't extend to. I'd assumed she'd track me down sooner or later.

I'd also assumed it wouldn't be much of a threat.

Even if she knew my location, I didn't think she'd actually come looking for me.

After all.

'From what I've heard, she's already hired a new chef in the capital.'

The news had been public enough. A grand cooking competition had been held in the imperial capital, and the winner had been named Princess Diana's personal chef.

When it came to a cook knight handling meals for the knight order, they could just hire a replacement the way they'd done before I arrived. No big deal.

So I let myself relax a little. Even if she learned where I was, she wouldn't ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠summon me back.

I figured she'd only come looking once a foreign war broke out and tensions with the nobility escalated.

In wartime, every knight counts.

And when that day came, I planned to run somewhere else.

If I got dragged back into service, I'd have to become the princess's blade and kill her enemies — and that meant the thing I'd been dreading all along might finally happen.

'I could lose my head just for being the princess's dog.'

Granted, now that I was on good terms with Ivan, maybe my neck was safe. But on a battlefield, anything could happen.

Except.

"Are you telling me Her Highness Princess Diana has actually come down here to find me?"

I poured tea for Kobi, who had delivered Camilla's letter, and asked the question as calmly as I could manage. Kobi glanced around the room, checking for eavesdroppers.

"This is a guest receiving room. Voices won't carry outside."

"That is what the head of the merchant group says, yes. Officially, she is here to investigate possible demon king worshiper activity in the south — but in truth, she has come looking for Sir Lucas."

"Come looking for me..."

"Our best guess is that the chef from the competition did not meet her standards."

"Hoo."

I let out a slow breath.

Diana coming after me in person was a completely different beast from getting called back as a reserve knight. This meant getting sucked straight into the whirlpool of imperial palace politics.

— You! The tyrant's most trusted confidant!

— Cut off the author's head! He's the princess's chef!

— Kill him!

A chill ran down my spine.

I know what you're thinking — what sin does a chef bear that he deserves death? But to people who'd taken up swords against a tyrant's atrocities, a chef was just as much a collaborator.

And if the tyrant had valued that chef so highly she personally scouted him during her lifetime?

Yeah, they'd kill him.

"A chef who won first place in a cooking competition doesn't satisfy her? She never struck me as having such demanding tastes."

"I've heard she invited several other chefs to sample their cooking as well. None of them pleased her."

"..."

Well, this was awkward.

I'd been feeling optimistic about expanding the restaurant, thinking she'd long since forgotten my food and stopped craving it.

"Has Her Highness returned to the capital, then?"

"For now. But no one knows when she might come back down."

"..."

As Kobi implied, Princess Diana would return.

She wasn't the type to sit quietly when something didn't sit right with her.

"She'll be back before long."

"What will you do? The head of the merchant group said she will support whatever Sir Lucas chooses. If you wish to leave this place, we will arrange everything — from establishing a new restaurant to procuring supplies — through a trading company unaffiliated with our own."

Run away again, huh.

Running from this place was a losing move.

If I hid, Princess Diana would find me anyway. Somehow.

Whether inside the empire or beyond its borders.

At this rate, Diana becoming emperor was practically a foregone conclusion. She'd done it once before relying purely on her own abilities — back when she had no saintess supporting her and no nobles in her corner.

Now, though, she'd begun securing the backing of the Order representing the saintess and a host of minor noble houses galvanized by recent events. Factions opposed to Perdes — or simply looking to build new political alignments — were all gravitating toward the Second Princess.

'After she puts down these demon king worshipers, her position will only grow more unshakable.'

She might even ascend to Crown Princess over this.

The future where she becomes emperor of the empire probably isn't changing.

So running any further wouldn't let me escape Diana's notice.

They say there's no paradise where you run, don't they?

If I wanted to stay here without running, I had to make sure Diana didn't turn into a tyrant. The problem was I had no idea how.

That didn't mean the situation was hopeless.

'The saintess will be at the princess's side, and some nobles have thrown their support behind her. In that case...'

Unlike the original story, Diana wasn't alone.

Saint Amelia, Golden Wagon head Camilla Wagon, and a coalition of minor nobles — she had them now.

The possibility of her not becoming a tyrant consumed by boundless hatred for the aristocracy was very real.

Hadn't Ivan — the romance fantasy male lead from the novel — also changed drastically from his original trajectory? The Ivan who was supposed to be humbly learning the sword under Lancelot was now a steadfast gukbap devotee, grilling up jeyuk bokkeum in my kitchen.

'If Diana doesn't become a tyrant, my reason to run disappears.'

If she didn't go down that road, there'd be no blood purge and no noble uprising. No attempts on Ivan's life, and none of the absolute chaos the novel foretold.

But how exactly was I supposed to stop her from becoming a tyrant?

Was Saint Amelia supposed to start regularly infusing her with holy power or something?

'There's got to be a way. Whether it's a way I can actually pull off, I don't know...'

This also meant I couldn't just keep cowering, letting the novel's plotlines dictate my fears.

'Not that I'm about to skip merrily off to the capital — if I do, I might end up responsible for five hundred meals a day, three times a day, all over again.'

So no, I wasn't going up to the capital.

For now, I'd stay right here and watch how things played out. If things went sideways, I could always ask Camilla for help...

"For the immediate future, I'll keep running the restaurant here."

"...I thought as much."

"There's not much else I can do. Not unless I'm planning to flee the empire entirely."

That wouldn't be easy, unless I ran all the way to the elf forest.

"And what if Her Highness does come down here?"

"I intend to welcome her as a VVVIP guest. I am the owner of this establishment, after all."

"Understood. I will relay that to the head of the merchant group. That Sir Lucas has chosen to remain here."

"I'd appreciate that."

Kobi rose from his seat.

"You won't stay for a meal?"

"I'd like nothing more... but I am pressed for time. If I delay my return again to sneak a meal of Sir Lucas's cooking, the head of the merchant group will try to kill me."

Kobi finished speaking and shrugged his shoulders. He looked a little pale — evidently he'd gotten thoroughly chewed out last time for sneaking some coco ddongjip stir-fry.

"Let me at least pack you a lunchbox for the road."

"A lunchbox?"

"Yes. You'll be hungry on the way."

"If it's Sir Lucas's cooking, I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠welcome it any time!"

Kobi's face lit up as he exclaimed.

"I'll get one ready for you, then."

"Two... no, could I trouble you for three? As it happens, I brought insulated lunchbox containers with me."

He'd brought along the expensive things nobles used for picnics?

Well, it tracked. Kobi was the senior manager of the Golden Wagon Merchant Group. It would've been weirder if he didn't have money.

"You're rather greedy."

"We gnomes are greedy by nature. Hahaha!"

The moment I stepped out of the guest room, Andrea and Bldi were looking at me with worried faces.

"Boss."

"Master..."

I headed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠into the kitchen, and the two of them scampered in right behind me.

Andrea checked that Kobi had slumped into a restaurant chair, then hurried up close beside me.

"If you want, boss, we can escape to the elf forest. Not even the emperor of the empire could follow us there."

"I-I know a hiding place. It's somewhere no one can find — I've, I've used it to hide since a long time ago..."

"You two heard all that?"

Andrea and Bldi nodded.

"Boss, don't underestimate elven hearing."

"V-vampires are versatile too, master..."

They'd heard through a soundproof wall reinforced with mana. That, I hadn't anticipated.

I reached out and stroked both their heads.

"It's all right. You don't need to go that far for me."

I knew what kind of resolve had driven Andrea to leave the elf forest in the first place. And Bldi — she'd only just managed to scrape her way into adapting to human society. The thought of them uprooting themselves again because of me...

Their offers meant more than I could say, but for their sake, I couldn't accept.

"Thank you. I never expected my employees to worry about their boss this much."

"We worry because you're you, boss. You're hopelessly careless."

"Th-that's right. Master is kind of... secretly a scatterbrain..."

A boss who made his employees worry. I was a disgrace to the title.

"I'd better work even harder from now on. So I can become a boss my employees can trust and lean on."

I smiled at the two of them and lit the fire.

I had a jeyuk bokkeum lunchbox to send off in Kobi's hands, after all.

***

Deep in the forest, a small cabin. The little house where Ivan had lived. A group of men approached it.

"...Gone."

"No sign of him."

"There's a drawing of that maid here, so this has to be the right place."

These were the men Duke Perdes had dispatched to find his illegitimate son, Ivan. They ransacked the cabin, searching for any trace of the man who should have been there.

"Follow the trail. We must find him no matter what. Those are the Duke's orders."

"Understood!"

The men bowed their heads and fanned out across the forest, hunting for Ivan's tracks.

"Signs of frequent entry here. Footprints are faint, but they remain."

"No recent traces. It appears this place has been empty for at least a fortnight."

The captain's brow furrowed as his subordinates reported in.

"...Did he catch wind of our arrival?"

"That seems unlikely. He's a bastard with no one looking after him, after all."

The captain shot a glare at the man who'd spoken.

"Watch your mouth. That man carries half the bloodline of the Perdes we serve."

"M-my apologies."

The captain's expression hardened as he glared at the ashen-faced subordinate.

"Lancelot... we've confirmed that he was instructing Lord Ivan."

Lancelot.

A long-retired knight, all but forgotten. One of the great knights who had reached the realm of Master, and once the empire's own blade — the Knight of the Lake who had annihilated the northern barbarians. They had confirmed with their own eyes that this same Knight of the Lake, the only body of water in the frozen north that never iced over, was teaching Ivan, the Duke's bastard son.

"Then could it be..."

Had Lancelot detected their approach and spirited the boy away in advance?

"Shall we wait here?"

"No. We head to Britten. As the Duke commanded, we will find Lord Ivan and escort him to the capital."

"Understood."

Their footsteps turned toward Britten.

To find Ivan, who knew nothing of what was coming.