A Twisted Obsession
It was an unforgettable memory. The stinging sensation on her palm as she dyed those pale, soft cheeks a brilliant crimson. The moment she forced that mouth open and pulled out every single tooth, turning the inside into a squelching, bloody mess. The impulsive, euphoric rush of squeezing that slender, delicate neck with all her might.
Frey recalled that moment every chance she got. The tears streaming down swollen cheeks. The desperate, futile struggles of a squirming body. The twitching legs. The sweat soaking the floor. The yellow waste. She thought about it, and thought about it again. She relived it, over and over.
Every time she did, a single truth struck her with painful clarity. The more she chewed on it, the more the reality of her brutality sank in. Back then, under the pretext of protecting Aris, I did something I should never have done. And she didn't just mean inflicting physical violence on Lucia. She had claimed it was for Aris's sake, but in truth, she had done it entirely for herself.
At first, it really had been for Aris. There was no selfish motive behind it. The kiss with Lucia, the slap to her cheek—it was all for Aris. But at some point, the means and the end had swapped places. Perhaps the warning signs had been there from the very moment she first raised her hand against that cheek.
Her heart had pounded furiously. It throbbed so hard she wondered if it had ever beaten like that before. A face drained of color, turning deathly pale. Shoulders trembling pitifully. Pink eyes wet with tears. Red lips sticky with blood. It was fun, she thought. To think she had harbored such thoughts in a desperate situation where Aris might never return.
She was beautiful. She was cute. Frey had wanted to break her even more. She had wanted to crush her throat. Before she knew it, those desires were the only things filling her mind, driving her to cross the line.
She felt sorry for Lucia. Frey was the one who had asked for help in the first place. Yet, she had inflicted indelible pain upon Lucia, who had approached her out of pure goodwill. It was awful. Truly awful. But what was even worse was that, deep down, she didn't even feel that sorry. Her guilt was so flimsy that a gentle breeze could blow it away.
At first, she really had been sorry. Once the excitement died down and her head cooled, Frey hadn't known what to do. If she could have moved her body, she would have torn her hair out. She had to apologize to Lucia. But how? After committing such atrocities, how could she dare look her in the face? Even after learning through Aris that Lucia didn't resent her at all, she had simply turned a blind eye to reality. She just didn't have the courage to face her.
But as time passed, a change came over her heart. The lingering sensation in her fingertips. The touch from that day. The urge to do it just one more time. Her feelings of apology slowly diluted. Instead, she felt nothing but regret that it was over. Because it had been so incredibly fun. The satisfaction and ecstasy of that moment washed away Frey's guilt. Just one more time. Can't I do it again? I can do much better this time.
Trying to choke her unconscious right away had been too hasty. Next time, she should start with the extremities. She wanted to pull out her fingernails, or maybe drive iron nails under them. Cutting was also a good option. Slice off a finger joint. Then another. Eventually, there would be no fingers left. Then she could move on to the palm. The wrist. The forearm. The elbow. If she kept going up like that, nothing would remain. But a human had two arms, and four limbs in total. Or... what if, instead of physical pain, she humiliated her mentally? Just imagining it made her entire body ache with anticipation. No, Aris held control of the body, so this was merely an impulse of the mind. An instinct she had kept suppressed. A shameful secret she had to hide.
'...She found out.'
But she had already been caught. And of all people, by Aris. The one person she wanted to hide it from the most. This was the fundamental reason Frey had hidden deep within their mind, refusing to utter a single word. Aris had discovered her violent nature. She had tried so hard not to let it show in front of her. Now, with what face, with what voice, was she supposed to face Aris? It was a far more daunting task than facing Lucia, the victim. She wanted to hide away forever. What if Aris hates me? What if she despises me? What if she loathes me?
...She knew. Aris was kind. She was so good-natured that it was hard to believe Frey was a personality derived from her. Aris would surely understand. She would accept it, and perhaps she would even feel sorry instead. But even knowing that, Frey couldn't bring herself to face her. She had always found Aris's passive behavior frustrating, but now that she was in a similar position, she understood Aris's feelings completely. So she was trying to overcome this trembling, terrified heart all this time. She had always advised Aris to be bold, yet now she was the one who had turned into a coward. And so, she locked herself away in her own mind.
One day, while she was keeping her mouth shut and letting time slip by, Aris witnessed something. And Frey, who watched the world through Aris's eyes, saw it too. The infirmary. Lucia, alone with Yujin. And her, hugging that boy from behind.
'No.'
Aris's internal cry. But was it truly only Aris's cry? The anxiety of her precious other half was transmitted directly to her. And mixed within it were Frey's own emotions. Why? What is this? What is their relationship? Are they dating? Do they like each other? ...But whatever their relationship was, what did it have to do with her? Whoever Lucia chose to be close with was her own free business. Frey had no right to interfere. Sure, she could care because Lucia was Aris's best friend. But that was the absolute limit. She had neither the reason nor the authority to meddle in Lucia's personal relationships.
'I don't like it.'
Yet, Frey's mood soured instantly. For some reason, irritation flared up inside her. Just seeing Yujin and Lucia getting along so well made her incredibly annoyed.
'She's mine...'
She thought it unconsciously, then flinched in surprise. Mine? It was as if she were treating Lucia like an object. But upon deeper reflection, there was no other way to describe her current feelings. It felt as though she had become a child whose favorite toy had been snatched away. What on earth is Lucia to me? If Lucia is a trustworthy friend to Aris... what is she to me? She couldn't answer her own question.
Time flowed on once more. Lucia asked that boy out on a date. Aris grew anxious, terrified that Lucia might be taken away from her. If so, was the emotion Frey was feeling right now also derived from Aris? Or was it the other way around, with her own feelings influencing Aris? Then, Lucia invited Aris to come along. Aris was overjoyed. Am I happy too?
On the holiday that should have been a peaceful picnic, that masked bitch from back then showed up. Lucia was torn apart, covered in blood. This unexpected, sudden turn of events forced Frey to break her long silence. After forcibly pulling the shocked Aris deep into their consciousness, she took control of the body. It was a bit rough, but she had no choice; she judged that she could handle the situation far better than Aris. After all, Frey was much more skilled in combat.
"Frey, let's go too!"
"……Impressive that you recognized me as Frey."
"I can tell with just a single glance, you know?"
"Hmph, I suppose you can."
Lucia had recognized her instantly. It would be stranger if she hadn't. Aris and she were completely different. Even if they shared the same body, their speech, behavior, and personalities were worlds apart. Despite it being obvious, Frey felt a slight flutter of happiness. Of course, her heart was racing since this was her first time facing Lucia since that incident, but she didn't let it show on the outside. She ran around busily, helping her rescue people. They just had to fight moderately until Cheonmyeongdae arrived, and then slip to the rear. She had absolutely no intention of risking her life. If things got dangerous, she planned to grab Lucia and escape. She only hoped it wouldn't come to that.
"……This is bad. Things are taking a strange turn. Lucia, let's regroup with those guys. We only separated a moment ago, so we should be able to find them quickly. This is no time to worry about other people's lives. If we're not careful, we might get dragged into danger too."
In the end, that worst-case scenario arrived. A Rift in Space was tearing open at an unnaturally rapid pace. Monsters were showing their faces through the cracked gaps in reality. The situation had changed. This was no longer the time to run around saving people. Rescue operations were a luxury for when one had breathing room. To save complete strangers at the risk of putting Aris in danger? No way. She refused.
"The fire……has stopped……."
"What?"
Frey urged her to retreat for now, but Lucia's thoughts lay elsewhere. She stared in one direction, her eyes trembling.
"……I have a bad feeling about this."
Only then did Frey notice the anomaly. The supernatural ability of that boy, which had been burning the sky so brilliantly, was nowhere to be seen. Well, he spammed such a powerful technique, so it's only natural he'd be exhausted. Frey dismissed it lightly. She had enough on her own plate; she wasn't kind enough to worry about him.
"I think something happened. I have to go."
"……I don't think you going there will help at all. If anything, you'll just get in the way. You're weak, you know."
"Maybe."
Unfortunately, Lucia couldn't remain as cold and rational as Frey. Yes, she had expected as much. Frey deliberately spoke harshly. What help could Lucia possibly be when she was far weaker than Yujin? She'd be lucky not to drag him down. In that case, staying away was the best way to help.
"If even Yujin is in danger, I might not be of much help, but……."
Lucia seemed to be well aware of that fact. Even so, she offered a bitter smile and said,
"Yujin is all alone right now, isn't he? I think someone needs to be by his side to help."
……For some reason, irritation flared up in her chest again. Just like when she had witnessed the two of them hugging in the infirmary.
"Lucia, I understand how you feel, but it's too dangerous."
"Yeah, I know."
"Do you think this is someone else's business? Think for a second! Just because you don't die when your neck is severed or your body is cut in half, do you really think you're immortal? Don't delude yourself. You're just hard to kill and regenerate quickly—you are not invincible!"
She shouted with all the boiling frustration in her heart, but Lucia merely let out a silly, carefree giggle. Does this girl have nothing but air in her head? What is so funny?
"Can't you read the room? Don't you see that? This has already gone far beyond anything we can handle. We shouldn't be evacuating others right now; we need to evacuate ourselves!"
"Then what about Yujin?"
"He's in a much better position than you. At least he has the combat power to protect himself. Didn't he fight a high-ranking monster? With that kind of strength, he can take care of himself."
She meant it. She hated to admit it, but that boy was strong. His combat power was enough to clash with a high-ranking monster, easily rivaling an active hero. And not just any hero, but a veteran. He was the undisputed best among the academy's first-years, and likely the strongest even if you included all the upperclassmen. The moment he fought a high-ranking monster, he had already transcended the level of a student. Worrying about someone like him was utterly absurd. Although Frey had also grown stronger recently as Aris's supernatural ability awakened, she couldn't confidently say she could defeat Yujin if asked.
"I'm sorry. And thank you. For worrying about me."
Lucia smiled sheepishly. The way she scratched her cheek was incredibly annoying. Frey seriously contemplated snapping her limbs and carrying her away on her back. She wouldn't even have to hold back, since Lucia's Super Regeneration would heal everything anyway.
"Did you even hear a word I said? Or are you just dying to get yourself killed?"
"Even if it's dangerous, I have to go. Even if something happens to me……it's much better for me to get hurt than for Yujin to get hurt."
Yet, she couldn't bring herself to act on it. Lucia's words left Frey temporarily speechless. Suddenly, she recalled the field training incident. Back then, Lucia had thrown herself in front of a high-ranking monster's surprise attack. Was it because she knew she wouldn't die thanks to her Super Regeneration? Or was it a self-sacrificing spirit, willing to die to save others? Knowing Lucia, it was likely the latter. After all, she was a foolishly kind girl who had easily forgiven Frey, the very person who had brutally assaulted her.
But was that really all? Just a self-sacrificing desire to save others? Would she have done the same if it weren't Yujin? What on earth was Yujin to Lucia? She had hugged him so intimately in the infirmary, gone out for a walk with him on their day off, and now…….
"Why……why do you go that far……? Is that boy really that precious to you……?"
The moment the words left her mouth, she quickly shut it. Asking so directly was far too blatant. She hadn't intended to, but her sheer frustration had driven her to blurt it out.
Lucia blinked at Frey's unintended question. Placing her index finger on her chin, she fell into thought for a moment before her eyes curved into a warm smile.
"That's right. He is precious. Because he's my 'friend.'"
"……."
……Why was she emphasizing the word 'friend'? It only made it sound like they were anything but. As if they shared something far more intimate than mere friendship…….
"Yujin is my most precious friend after Aris. That's why I want to help him."
This time, it was Frey's turn to fall silent. Several words welled up in her throat, but they remained trapped behind her lips, unable to escape.
"……Right. I see."
In the end, that was all she could manage to say.
What kind of person was Yujin to Lucia? The question she had been brooding over finally seemed to have an answer. She didn't feel the slightest bit happy; on the contrary, she felt utterly displeased. Her most precious friend after Aris, huh? Did Lucia even realize the weight of those words? Normally, she should, but a girl with nothing but flowers in her head might be completely oblivious. Aris was a girl. Yujin, on the other hand, was a boy. A friend of the same gender versus a friend of the opposite gender. That subtle yet stark difference carried a multitude of implications.
"I'm not letting you go alone. I'm coming with you."
Frey said, her red eye flashing coldly. It feels like Lucia likes Yujin. The moment that thought crossed her mind, an unbearable wave of displeasure washed over her. It felt exactly like having her favorite doll snatched away by someone else.