A Quiet Resolve

The mirror had grown misty from the gentle steam. The bathtub was filled to the brim with warm water. Aris curled her knees to her chest and sank into the tub. Her mind was in a daze. Though she had awakened from her deep slumber, her consciousness still felt trapped in a dream. Neither the warmth enveloping her body nor the wet strands of hair clinging to her cheeks felt entirely real.

"..." Her fingers throbbed. Beneath the bandages lay deep bite marks. Because she had gnawed on her own flesh with no regard for her safety, the wounds were quite deep. With a Supernatural Ability user's natural healing factor, new skin would probably knit over them within a few days, but right now, she felt a stinging pain.

"...It h-hurts," she whispered to herself. There was no answer. Normally, Frey would have replied, but right now, her other half had sunk deep into the recesses of her mind. Just as Aris once had.

Even a minor wound like this hurt so much. How painful must far worse injuries be? Just imagining it made her chest tighten with agonizing sorrow.

"Lu...cia... Miss Lucia..." In a tiny voice that no one else could hear, she repeated the name of the bathroom's owner. She washed away the blood and saliva that had stained her body. Yet, the heavy knot in her heart could not be washed away by the warm water.

She was a good person. A kind person. She was one of the strongest people Aris had ever met. This did not refer to physical might. If one looked, they could probably find plenty of people stronger than Lucia. Objectively speaking, Aris herself was stronger than Lucia. Aside from a select few in Class A, none of the students could match Aris in raw power. But what about the strength of one's inner self? Inner strength could not be evaluated objectively. While external power could be analyzed in relatively precise detail, the invisible heart could not.

Aris was strong, yet weak. Though the destructive power of her Supernatural Ability was outstanding, her heart was weaker than anyone's. She didn't possess even a fraction of Lucia's strength. She couldn't even compare.

...I couldn't do anything. That day. The moment the masked girl attacked. Aris could do nothing but tremble. Overwhelmed by the pressure crushing her senses, she could only tear up. She had neither the will to resist nor the resolve to run away. And it wasn't just Aris. Everyone in Class A had been paralyzed with fear. Two teachers, who seemed utterly insurmountable, were subdued in an instant. That single fact was enough to strip the students of their drive and courage.

In that terrifying situation, she was the only one who stepped forward. Even though she must have been terrified, even though she surely wanted to run away. At that moment, when everyone else was frozen like stone statues in sheer terror, Lucia stepped to the very front.

Aris did not want to recall the sight that followed. She wanted to bury it deep in the recesses of her memory and never bring it to light again. If she could, she would have gouged out that specific memory and forgotten it forever. But human thoughts and memories have a way of resurfacing the harder one tries to suppress them. Lucia was decapitated. The head that should have rested upon her shoulders rolled across the cold floor. Rolling and rolling, it finally stopped at Aris's feet.

"...Ugh." Aris covered her mouth. Nausea welled up inside her. She was dead. She had died. Right before her eyes. Decapitated. Their eyes had met—with those eyes that still held a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lingering spark of life. Immediately after, Aris's consciousness plunged into darkness. She had never experienced anything like that before. No, perhaps she had. Because there had been moments in the past when she had desperately wished to escape from reality.

She had wanted to run away. And when she wished for it so desperately, she truly became able to escape. Frey was born. Frey drove her mother away. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Frey became her new family. Perhaps, she had hoped for the same thing to happen this time as well. Escaping from reality, she dumped all the painful things onto someone else. Onto Frey... Yes, onto her.

She was terrified. Terrified of Lucia's death, and terrified of the masked girl who had killed her. Unable to even think of avenging her friend, she had fled into the depths of her own mind. She loathed herself. She had been so happy to have finally made a friend, yet when the time came, she did absolutely nothing and just wept pathetically. She hated herself so much, found herself so disgusting, and despised herself so deeply.

Aris, who had fallen into a deep sleep from which she might never have woken, was forcibly jolted awake by an external shock. Lucia was alive. Her only friend, whom she had believed to be dead, was alive and well. She was happy. Truly, deeply happy. Yet, she couldn't summon the courage to face her.

Frey had beaten Lucia. She had slapped her cheeks over and over again, just as her mother had done to her. She had pulled out her teeth. She had choked her. Aris had watched it all unfold through a hazy, dreamlike state. At first, she thought it was an illusion. Because Lucia was dead. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Next, she thought it was a terrible nightmare. She wanted to wake up as soon as possible. But waking up meant facing a reality she dreaded. She was scared. She hated it. So she simply watched. Only after that did she realize it was reality. But it was already too late. Far, far too late.

"..." Lucia, covered in blood, passing out. The sensation of striking her and squeezing her throat still lingered in Aris's palms. Why had Frey done such a thing? The question arose, but the answer came easily. It was undoubtedly because of her.

"I-I'm s-sorry... I'm, I'm, s-sorry... I'm s-sorry... I'm s-sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." She had grown terrified. Terrified that Lucia would hate her. That she might never meet her again. That she might avoid her. Even though she had done nothing for Lucia, she had the audacity to harbor such selfish thoughts. Instead of purely rejoicing in the fact that her friend was alive, she had calculated her own losses.

"You don't have to apologize." But Lucia didn't do that. Even though she had been in so much pain and agony. Even though she had shed tears and writhed in torment. Instead, she had embraced Aris with a smile, as if nothing had happened.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Aris. Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm perfectly fine. Aris, please don't blame yourself."

"So don't cry. Your cute face is all ruined. You look much better when you smile."

Her embrace had been so warm. She had gently caressed and stroked Aris's hair. She had wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead.

"Neither you nor Frey did anything wrong."

"In fact, I was happy. Because I realized how much you care about me."

Aris had always believed she was a good girl. She had never gotten angry at anyone, and she never refused when asked for a favor. She had no doubt that she was a kind, good-natured person. She only realized what a foolish delusion that was after meeting Lucia. When the one who deserved comfort was the one offering it and wrapping her in warmth, Aris was forced to face the reality she had been avoiding.

I wasn't a good girl. I was just trying to look like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠one. She had merely acted the part of the "good girl" that adults liked and others preferred. Because if she wasn't a good girl, her mother would beat her. That survival mechanism from her childhood had simply carried over into her present life.

If she were truly a good person, she would have worried about Lucia, who had suffered a horrific beating, first. Instead of worrying about their relationship, she should have worried about Lucia's well-being. But she hadn't. Her greatest fear was Lucia growing distant from her. Were the apologies she repeated so desperately even sincere? Aris could no longer tell.

A truly good child. A genuinely kind girl. A person stronger than anyone else, both inside and out. An altruistic soul who cared more about the pain of others than her own.

"Lu...cia..." Aris uttered her name. As always, it was broken and disjointed. She felt utterly pathetic for stuttering over a single name, unable to pronounce it properly. She hated it. She hated herself so much.

"...Miss Lucia." How many times had she repeated it? Only when she was about to give up counting did she finally manage to say her name without stuttering. Perhaps as time passed, she would start stuttering again. She might lose the ability to speak it clearly. But at least for now, she could say it properly.

Aris stood up from the bathtub. Having soaked in the warm water for so long, she felt a slight wave of dizziness. She washed herself thoroughly and dried off with a white towel. Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she stepped out of the bathroom. The cool air instantly chilled her flushed skin. As she stood there hesitantly, covering her front with the towel, the blonde girl approached her with a bright smile.

"Aris, are you all done?"

"Y-Yes... yes..."

"I'm sorry. Your clothes aren't fully dry yet. Since we're in a hurry, could you wear this for now?"

The clothes Lucia handed her were her usual casual wear around the dormitory: a plain, simple white T-shirt and turquoise shorts. Since even Aris's underwear had been thrown into the washing machine, Lucia also handed her a brand-new, unopened pack of undergarments.

Aris silently slipped into the clothes. Since they were tailored to Lucia's build, they were quite large on Aris. Though baggy, they served their purpose well enough.

"Here, sit down. I'll dry your hair for you."

"I-I'm f-fine..."

"Hehe, I just really wanted to try. Your hair is incredibly soft, Aris."

Lucia patted the chair, giggling softly. Aris didn't refuse any further and quietly sat down.

The hair dryer roared to life, blowing warm air. Lucia's touch was rather clumsy, as if she had never dried anyone else's hair before. Aris closed her eyes. Shutting out her vision, she focused all her senses on the movement of Lucia's hands.

"Miss Lucia." She called her name in a soft voice. Thanks to her practice in the bathroom, she was able to speak without trembling. Perhaps drowned out by the noise of the hair dryer, Lucia didn't seem to notice at all. Aris didn't mind. She still lacked courage, so it was actually easier if Lucia didn't hear her.

What kind of expression was she making right now? If she opened her eyes, she could see through the mirror, but Aris kept them closed. Feeling the warm breeze on her scalp and the touch of Lucia's hands, she conveyed the words that would go unheard.

"I-I'm s-sorry... f-for... e-everything..."

There was so much she wanted to say. She wanted to pour out all the words pooled in her chest and clear her heart. But she knew that, stuttering like a fool, she would never be able to say it all. And so, she chose only the words she wanted to convey most.

"I... I w-will... g-get... s-stronger."

I wasn't the good girl you thought I was. I'm not strong, and whenever something happens, I just run away. I'm a selfish person who dumps everything onto others without ever trying to solve things myself.

"I'll g-get... s-stronger, and..."

Miss Lucia. You are the bravest, kindest, and strongest person I have ever met. I was so happy to become your friend. I want to remain your friend forever. And so...

"...I will protect you."

I will never let you be decapitated again. I won't let you writhe in agony. I won't just stand by and watch you sacrifice yourself. Running away once was enough. Twice is far too many.

"I promise."

As much as I stood by and watched. As much as the pain Frey—no, I—inflicted upon you. No, even more than that. I will protect you.

"Alright, all done! I'm a bit clumsy, but... yep, I think it turned out pretty well!"

The hair dryer stopped, and the roaring wind died down. Lucia smiled warmly, completely oblivious. She hadn't heard Aris's words, nor had she noticed her resolve.

"..."

And there was one more thing she failed to notice. Lucia picked up a comb to smooth out the hair that had tangled during the drying process. In that brief moment when Lucia's gaze drifted away, a faint, sharp light flashed within Aris's heterochromatic eyes reflected in the mirror.

The growth of the heart. The forging of a resolve. The yearning for strength. A Supernatural Ability is the power of the mind. When the mind grows, the ability grows along with it. Just as it had for Yujin.