Waving the White Flag
In the end, I waved the white flag. If I let this go on any longer, I was seriously going to cause a massive incident. I activated my Super Regeneration to purge the drug from my system. Regina's drug... its potency was terrifyingly effective. No wonder once someone got a taste of this, they could never be satisfied with any other drug.
Part of me wanted to just let loose and satisfy myself, but I hesitated. I knew that if I gave in to my desires, I would completely lose control. I couldn't afford to go off the deep end... I had to avoid Bunny Girl Incident Season 2 at all costs...
I had actually reacted to Yujin. Just making eye contact with him had made my panties... well, let's just leave it at that. But that wasn't because Yujin was special; it was simply because he was a 'man'. Actually, even if Yujin had been a 'woman', it probably would have been the exact same. In other words, I was in a state where I would react to literally anyone.
Lucia... you have absolutely no decency. You're going to disqualify yourself as a heroine at this rate. Or wait, is it just me who has no decency?
In the original novel, Lucia was head over heels for Yujin and never spared a glance for anyone else, but I wasn't her. Honestly, Yujin wasn't all that special to me. I only paid attention to him because he was the protagonist; otherwise, he would have just been one of my many classmates.
Of course, since he was a genuinely good guy, he probably would have ranked high on my list of potential masters... but he wouldn't be the undisputed number one like he was now. Anyway, the conclusion was simple. If I went wild while high on this drug, I was going to cause a catastrophic disaster. Someone other than Yujin might find out that I was a massive masochist. I wanted to avoid that nightmare at all costs.
To think I actually believed I could endure this while completely wasted on drugs... My judgment must have been severely clouded. The drug had probably seeped into my brain and turned me into an idiot. Lucia is not an idiot. Sure, my brain was turned into Swiss cheese last time and I almost became a vegetable, but my brain is perfectly fine now, so I'm definitely not an idiot.
Forcing myself to make the most rational decision despite the lingering regret, I used my Super Regeneration to dilute the vast majority of the drug. As the chemical compounds in my bloodstream rapidly dissolved, my euphoric high crashed instantly. The overwhelming waves of satisfaction and relief that had washed over my body began to recede. The fire that had blazed in my chest and hips died down as if it had never existed in the first place.
I buried my face in the fluffy pillow and kicked my legs in frustration. "Ugh..." This was the first time I had felt this awful since becoming Lucia. My mind, which had been completely clouded by raw lust, slowly regained its rationality. I was dying... I felt like I was actually going to die. It felt exactly like the worst hangover of my life after a night of heavy drinking.
I lay paralyzed in bed until the afternoon. *Throb. Throb.* My head was pounding. It felt like someone was repeatedly smashing my skull with a blunt weapon. And the worst part was, I wasn't enjoying this pain at all. Super Regeneration wasn't omnipotent. While it could purge the physical toxins of the drug, it couldn't cure the psychological withdrawal symptoms of addiction. Maybe if I awakened later and reached the level of One Close to God it would be possible, but for the current Lucia, it was out of the question.
"Eu-heee..." I was sinking into a deep, dark depression. It was like extreme bipolar disorder. It felt like the ultimate post-nut clarity, but amplified a hundredfold. To think a drug originally designed just to accelerate regeneration was this potent. Even if she had concentrated it to maximize its effects, the sheer power of Regina's actual narcotics was terrifying to contemplate. No wonder she possessed the horrific ability to bewitch even high-ranking monsters.
Regina of Class 1-D. One of the infamous "Troublemaker Trio." Though they lagged behind the Golden Generation, they were still considered some of the finest talents in the Academy. After all, why else would they have avoided juvenile detention despite committing actual crimes? The higher-ups had simply decided that reforming them and putting them to work was far more beneficial than locking them away in a cell.
They possessed the raw ability and potential to completely overshadow their "sins." In terms of pure talent, they were easily on par with the Golden Generation. Of course, because the Golden Generation—led by the protagonist Yujin—would constantly face life-or-death trials and stumble into miraculous opportunities that triggered absurd growth spurts, the Troublemakers would eventually be left in the dust... but that was never due to a lack of innate talent. As a member of that trio, Regina was easily one of the top-tier ability users in the Academy. I had known this theoretically, but this was the first time I had experienced it so vividly. I guess experiencing something firsthand with your own body really does hit differently than just reading about it.
"Ugh..." I groaned. I was so depressed. So incredibly depressed. If I could at least self-harm, this awful feeling would vanish in an instant. But I couldn't, could I? Not here. I wanted to go back to the dormitory so badly... My knives and hand axes were waiting for me...
Just moments ago, I felt like I was floating on a cloud, but now I had plummeted straight to the bottom of an abyss. My hands were itching. I wanted to slice my fingers off right this second. Or at the very least, snap them...
"Huh?" Wait a minute. Snap my fingers? "Oh, wait. That actually works!" Why on earth had I only been thinking about amputation? Cutting things off wasn't the only way to self-harm, was it? ...Oh dear. Maybe I really was an idiot. I was pretty sure I wasn't this stupid before my brain got turned into Swiss cheese. Or maybe I was just too high on the drugs.
I spread my fingers out. I usually used them for slicing, but did I really have to draw blood? I had been holding back because bleeding in a hospital room would be way too conspicuous. Sure, I could easily reattach a severed finger, but cleaning up the blood afterward was a massive pain. So, the solution was simple: just don't bleed!
I slipped my hands under the blanket. Keeping my face buried deep in the pillow, I grabbed my left hand with my right. My index finger. It was slender and soft. Despite my constant physical training, it remained perfectly smooth and squishy without a single callus. It felt like it would snap with just a tiny bit of pressure.
"He-het." One. Two. Three. Snap.
"Mnh..." My hips shuddered. A jolt of pure electricity surged up my spine, piercing the very crown of my head. I rubbed my thighs together in ecstasy. Curling my toes, I reached for the next finger. My breathing grew ragged. This time, the middle finger. One. Two. Three. Snap.
"Eu-he?!" This felt completely different from my usual amputations. The raw sensation of bone splintering and muscle tearing... Ahaha... I really was an idiot. What on earth had I been doing for the past month? Slicing myself up to my heart's content while completely ignoring these delightful little treats? You shouldn't be a picky eater! Well, okay, I had fractured and dislocated other bones before. I just hadn't snapped my fingers. Somewhere along the line, my brain had hardcoded the rule: fingers are for slicing. I had been so obsessed with that formula that I'd only ever chopped them off.
My index and middle fingers were now bent at grotesque, impossible angles. Tears welled in my eyes. I grabbed my ring finger and pinky at the same time. Then, I snapped them with all my might. Snap.
"Ah, it hurts..." I had only broken four fingers, but my entire body was trembling like a leaf. Compared to my usual extreme self-harm, this was practically child's play, but perhaps because a trace amount of the drug was still lingering in my system, the pleasure was absolutely divine.
My shoulders shuddered pathetically. The pillow beneath me grew damp with a mixture of tears and drool. I curled my body into a tight ball, pulling my knees to my chest. I twisted my index finger again, practically wringing it. White spots flashed in my vision as I gasped for air. My five pretty fingers were now grotesquely deformed and mangled. I let out a silly, blissful giggle. The moment I activated my ability, the bones snapped back into place with a series of wet, squelching creaks. But I wasn't satisfied yet. Not even close. See? The moment the pain stopped, that dreadful depression began to creep back in. Hiding beneath the blanket, I grabbed my fingers once more. Snap.
Angelica walked down the hospital corridor. Although her tibia had been completely shattered just a short while ago, there was no sign of discomfort in her stride. Thanks to a highly skilled doctor with a healing-type supernatural ability, combined with Angelica's own monstrous natural recovery rate as One Close to God, her condition had improved miraculously. An ordinary person would have died before even reaching the hospital, yet she had recovered enough to walk perfectly fine in a mere two days.
Yet, Angelica's expression was incredibly grim. Her physical wounds were healing, but the scars engraved on her soul had festered into a weeping sore. Suddenly, she ground her teeth so hard they nearly cracked. A deep furrow formed between her brows. The girl in the Red Fox Mask. Just thinking about her made her shake with a volatile mixture of rage and sheer helplessness.
She had become an Academy teacher four years ago. Before that, Angelica had been a rising star, climbing the ranks of the heroes with unstoppable momentum. She was already being whispered about as a future Division Captain. Though she was barely holding onto a Vice-Captain position at the time, her innate talent made that future a certainty rather than a distant dream. She was young, and her potential was limitless. Having caught the eye of the 3rd Division Captain, she had been assigned to his direct unit and racked up countless achievements. Back then, Angelica hadn't possessed a single shred of interest in becoming an Academy instructor. She had never wanted to be one, nor had she ever planned to.
The event that shattered her destiny occurred five years ago. The Great Disaster. The day monsters rained down from the sky like a torrential storm. Rifts in Space tore open simultaneously all across the nation. It was an unprecedented catastrophe. Cheonmyeongdae mobilized immediately, but they were severely short on supernatural ability users. Kill one monster, and two more took its place. Slay those two, and four more appeared. They were desperately short-handed. There simply weren't enough active heroes to fight. Because of that, the high command made the desperate, ruthless decision to throw even the Academy students into the meat grinder.
It was a hellscape where even veteran heroes with decades of combat experience were slaughtered in droves. The sixth Magic Beast in human history had emerged. The Captain of the 7th Division had fallen in battle. The students thrust into that nightmare were, in reality, nothing more than meat shields deployed to buy precious seconds. The horrors of that day were permanently seared into Angelica's soul. Promising young buds were ruthlessly snapped. Blood-soaked school uniforms lay scattered across the battlefield like autumn leaves. Children who hadn't even reached adulthood fought and died. They died, and they kept dying... extinguished before they ever had a chance to grow up.
It was unavoidable. It was the worst crisis in human history, a war where every single warm body had to be thrown into the fray. Yet, Angelica found it utterly unacceptable. Her mind could rationalize the necessity, but her heart refused to accept it. They were just children. They were precious buds that should have been shielded and nurtured. They weren't meant to be broken and discarded like trash. And yet... why did they have to die in such a horrific manner?
One year after that tragedy, Angelica resigned from active duty and became an Academy instructor. She did it to ensure no more students would ever have to die so pointlessly. She wanted to train them, to give them the strength to protect themselves if a similar nightmare ever returned.
'And yet...' Angelica bit her lip until it bled. She had become a teacher to protect her students, but when the time came, she had failed utterly. Instead, she had been the one protected. By her own students.
Angelica's heavy footsteps finally came to a halt in front of Lucia's hospital room. She had already visited Yujin and Leo. Fortunately, neither of them had sustained any major injuries. Yujin had seemed strangely dazed, but it didn't look like anything serious. He was likely just processing the lingering shock of his first real life-or-death battle.
"Sigh..." Angelica let out a heavy, ragged sigh in front of the door. She felt utterly ashamed to face Lucia. She had promised to protect her, yet she had done absolutely nothing. She had merely watched as that poor girl trembled, bowing her head to the enemy. She had stood by, paralyzed, as Lucia begged the terrorist to spare her teacher... she had been completely useless. A crushing weight of self-loathing pressed down on her shoulders. With another heavy sigh, Angelica slowly raised her hand. She clenched her fist, preparing to knock, but just as she was about to tap on the wood—
"...Ugh..."
A faint sound drifted from beyond the door. Angelica froze. Straining her ears, she listened closely to the muffled noises coming from inside the room. An inexplicable chill washed over her, making her heart plummet. She carefully, silently cracked the door open. Making sure not to make a sound, she peeked through the narrow gap.
Inside the sterile white room, Lucia was lying face down on the bed in the center. She was wrapped tightly in her blanket, her face buried deep in her pillow.
"It hurts..."
Lucia's body was trembling violently. She curled inward, whimpering in a tear-choked voice. Her pillow was already damp. She was clearly writhing in intense agony.
"..."
Angelica knew that given Lucia's incredible regeneration, there shouldn't be a single physical wound left on her body. If she was still suffering this much, it had to be phantom pain—a psychological echo of the trauma. It was a common phenomenon among regeneration-type ability users. Even if their bodies healed instantly, the psychological imprint of the pain lingered.
"I want to go... home..."
Hearing that weeping voice, which sounded as if the girl was desperately trying to suppress her agony, Angelica had no choice but to quietly pull the door shut. She leaned her back against the wall, burying her face in her hands. She felt an overwhelming, desperate urge to smoke. But this was a hospital, and she didn't even have any cigarettes on her. Angelica bit her lip. Her chest felt suffocatingly tight. A hot, boiling emotion surged up her throat, threatening to burst out of her.
Back then, what must have been going through that child's mind when she stepped forward? In a situation where even her teacher had been brought low... Angelica couldn't even begin to fathom the sheer amount of courage it must have taken. Because Lucia had seemed so calm and composed afterward, Angelica had let herself be fooled. She wasn't okay at all. She was just pretending to be. She was bottling it all up inside, suffering in silence just to avoid making anyone else worry.
Angelica stood frozen in the hallway for a long time, as if nailed to the spot. The pain-filled whimpers from beyond the wall showed no signs of stopping, and she found herself unable to take a single step until the room finally fell silent. It was a crushing helplessness she hadn't felt in five years. She felt as though her very heart was burning to ash.