Visiting the Sick (Though I'm Sick Myself)
I felt utterly languid, likely due to the drug coursing freely through my veins and circulating to every corner of my body.
If this weren't a hospital room, I would have slit my wrists, severed my veins, and drank the spurting blood.
Thump, thump. My heart fluttered like a young girl in love.
My face flushed, and I found myself rubbing my thighs together without realizing it. It was a sensation similar to self-harm, yet subtly different.
A giddy, floating sensation washed over me, and a strange giggle escaped my lips. My body was burning up. Though my clothes were damp with cold sweat, it didn't feel unpleasant at all.
As I lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, my hips would occasionally twitch.
Self-harm... no, I want to masturbate...
It had been a month since I became Lucia. For the first time, I felt the urge to pleasure myself.
To be more precise, I wanted to self-harm while pleasuring myself. I wanted to chop off my fingers, joint by joint, like slicing ingredients on a cutting board. And then, use those severed fingers to... Ah, why do I keep having these thoughts?
"Haa..."
I pulled the blanket over my head and held my breath. My chest ached. Physically. I lightly tapped my swelling breasts with my fingertips.
Regina's drug... the effects were absolutely insane. And to think this was supposed to be for accelerating regeneration. How much more potent would a drug made for its original purpose be? Just imagining it made my hips squirm.
So this is why junkies can't quit.
"Ugh..."
Taking the antidote cleared my head for a brief moment. But it was truly fleeting. Soon, the lust would surge back up, driving me mad. Lucia was already a lewd girl with nothing but sex on her mind, and with the drug added to the mix, it was hard to keep my sanity.
If I used my Super Regeneration to dilute the drug in my system, I could easily escape these impulses... but it felt strangely good, so I hesitated.
Well, whatever. It's not like this will last forever; it's only for a few days. Considering I suffer from self-harm urges every night anyway, not much has really changed. The desire has just gotten a bit stronger.
Self-harm... masturbation... self-harm... masturbation... my crotch hurts... it's agonizing...
Seriously, what kind of drug did she use on me? Is it really for accelerating regeneration? Didn't she actually just give me an aphrodisiac?
I spent the night wide awake, unable to sleep. Watching the sunlight rise beyond the window, I let out a ragged breath. It felt good. I felt dizzy, as if walking through a dream. A silly giggle escaped my lips without me realizing it.
But at the same time, it was agonizing. I wanted to satisfy my desires, but I couldn't. Because it kept building up, it was hard to control myself.
But this wasn't the dormitory. Just beyond the walls, the hospital was bustling with nurses and other admitted patients. If I stayed like this, I was bound to cause a real incident.
Being alone is dangerous...
Driven by the impulse, I blindly left my room. But once I was out, I had nowhere to go. As I debated whether to take a walk, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
Visiting the sick. Yes, let's pay a visit. Rather than walking around the hospital alone, I wanted to at least talk to someone.
"Let's see, the people hospitalized were... two teachers and three students, right?"
Angelica and Siul. Yujin, Leo, and Lucia. As I pondered who to visit, the first person who came to mind was Yujin.
I probably shouldn't meet any girls right now. My body might be Lucia's, but my mind is still a man's. If I were to meet a mature, gorgeous beauty like Angelica at a time like this... *He-he, he-het.*
And besides, Lucia is the heroine, right? As the heroine, I believe taking care of the protagonist comes first!
Finding Yujin's room wasn't difficult. I asked a passing nurse, and his room was not far from mine.
Surprisingly, unlike me, who had a private room, Yujin was in a double room. When I checked to see who he was sharing it with, it turned out to be Leo. *Hmm*, did they put them together because they're both boys? I wondered if I would have ended up in a double room too if another female student had been hospitalized.
"Excuse me."
I lowered my voice and carefully opened the door. It was a room with a white ceiling, just like my private room. The only difference was that there were two beds instead of one, and it was slightly more spacious.
Perhaps because it was still early, I could hear even breathing. However, both of them weren't asleep.
On the bed to the right of the door, a black-haired boy sat cross-legged with his eyes closed. He was repeatedly clenching and unclenching his hands.
"...Hmm."
He was so completely cut off from the outside world and focused inward that he didn't even notice me entering. His eyelids trembled slightly. I had a vague idea of what he was doing.
It was image training. In the novel, Yujin often visualized his past experiences in his head. He would reflect on his shortcomings and repeatedly recreate the insights he gained. After simulating it countless times, he would be able to react flexibly when a similar situation arose. Mental maturity led to growth.
It would be bad to disturb him while he's concentrating, right? Leo is asleep... and I wasn't even close with Leo in the first place. Should I just go back?
...No, wait. As long as I don't disturb him, it's fine, right? I'll just quietly wait until his image training is over.
I quieted my footsteps and crept closer, sitting on the chair beside the bed. Even though I made a slight noise in the process, Yujin's expression didn't waver. Just how deeply was he concentrating to not notice someone sitting right next to him?
I rested my chin on my hand and stared at Yujin. Perhaps because he had sustained many injuries in the battle against the monsters, I could see bandages wrapped beneath his hospital gown. Medical tape was plastered all over his face as well.
Looking at him like this, aside from his decent-looking face, he was just an ordinary high schooler. He had the impression of a gentle puppy, yet this guy would eventually become the hero who saves the world...
*Twitch.*
...Heh?
I felt a strange sensation. Was it just my imagination? I shook my head and looked back at Yujin.
My gaze naturally drifted to Yujin's right hand, which was repeatedly clenching and unclenching. It was a hand covered in calluses, one that couldn't be called pretty by any stretch of the imagination. Every time I saw that hand, I could guess how much blood and sweat Yujin had shed.
Ever since awakening his ability five years ago, he had consistently trained every single day without fail. Even now, hospitalized and unable to physically train, he didn't stop, resorting to image training instead. If nothing else, that stubborn persistence of his was truly admirable.
*Twitch.*
Again...
I had come out thinking that being around someone else might lessen the throbbing a bit... but nothing had changed. No, if anything, it felt like it was getting worse...?
Come to think of it, his fingers... they were really hard and thick...
The thought occurred to me reflexively. Watching him clench and unclench his fists brought back memories of that time. The sensation inside my mouth still felt vivid. It was incredibly hot, thick, large... *Mmh*, phrasing it like that sounds a bit weird, doesn't it? I'm talking about his fingers. Nothing else. I mean... anyway, it's not what you think! Begone, lewd thoughts!
*Twitch.*
A bead of sweat rolled down Yujin's cheek and hung on his jawline before dripping off. My eyes unconsciously followed the falling droplet. A slightly sour scent wafted over. Looking closely, Yujin was completely drenched in sweat. Occasionally, sparks of fire would flicker at his fingertips and vanish. Just how intensely was he concentrating?
The scent...
Without realizing it, I leaned my upper body forward. His defenseless nape glistened with sweat. I swallowed hard. I wanted to bite him. I wanted to fill my mouth with the saltiness of his sweat and the metallic taste of his blood. And then, I wanted to be bitten back. I wanted my own neck torn open until the bone showed, letting hot, fresh blood pour out in torrents.
*Twitch.*
Something was wrong. My body was heating up abnormally. My body temperature had always been higher than normal, but now it felt as hot as a raging fever. My waist trembled the moment I relaxed even slightly. I pulled back, pressing my forearms against my chest. I felt a soft sensation. For some reason, the tips of my breasts felt a bit hard. I wiggled my toes and blinked. My breathing grew slightly ragged. The thumping of my heart sounded like it was pounding right in my ears.
"Mmh..."
I shouldn't disturb Yujin's concentration, but a soft moan escaped my lips before I could stop it. Fortunately, his focus wasn't broken by something so minor. Relieved, I stole a glance at his profile. His tightly closed eyes. His sharp nose. His firmly set lips. ...I never thought I'd say this about a guy, but... isn't he strangely sensual...?
Oh my god.
The heat starting from my chest rushed all the way to my face. I didn't need a mirror to know. My face must be incredibly red right now. At this point, no matter how dense I was, I had to realize it.
Am I... in heat...?
For a guy? Sure, I had been boiling with lust since yesterday. It wasn't anything new. I would be like this until Regina's drug completely left my system. I had come out because I felt like I would cause a real incident if I stayed alone. That was also why I hadn't gone to see Angelica or Siul. I figured meeting gorgeous beauties like them while drenched in lust would only excite me further. But...
I'm licking my lips while looking at a guy, not a girl? Watching some dude sweat? Seriously? Although I had developed some unique fetishes after becoming Lucia, my core gender identity was still male. Right? I had lived as a girl for a month, but there was no way my sexual orientation would change in such a short time. Yet, the fact that I was reacting to a man meant... Lucia's body was extremely aroused.
Just like when I wore the bunny girl outfit for my first night outing...
Drenched in lust and impulses, Lucia's mind loses all reason and self-control. I almost caused trouble back then too... Ah, this is bad. I came out to avoid causing an incident, but at this rate, I'm going to cause an even bigger one. Come to think of it, don't I enjoy being watched? Yet I just walked out without a second thought; the drug must have seriously rotted my brain. Let's get out of here first. I thought a guy would be fine, but I was short-sighted. I severely underestimated Lucia's perverted tendencies. I need to return to my room first and relieve this excitement somehow. If all else fails, I'll just use Super Regeneration to—
"Lucia...?"
It was just as I was halfway out of my chair. Yujin was staring at me, his eyes wide with bewilderment. I slowly sank back down, plumping onto the chair. I gave him an awkward smile and waved my hand.
"Ah, ahaha... Hey there?"
Oh no... My panties are completely soaked... What do I do...?