The Impending Dawn
Even after that day, I couldn't easily let go of my lingering obsession. I climbed the mountain behind the academy several times, wandering around in search of poisonous mushrooms. Since it wasn't summer—the prime season for mushrooms to grow—just finding them was a massive pain. I didn't have any professional knowledge or knack for foraging, so my only option was to wander the mountain aimlessly.
Whenever I found a mushroom, I ate it raw. Just in case cooking it over a fire weakened the toxicity. Most of them were a total letdown. The vast majority were either perfectly edible or only mildly toxic. Occasionally, I'd find one that might have been highly toxic, making my fingertips tingle, but it always stopped right there. It didn't hurt at all. At most, it made me slightly nauseous and dizzy. How cruel. I had such high expectations, but the results were utterly pathetic.
Poisonous mushrooms always had such a terrifying reputation. I thought of them as the Grim Reaper's scythe—something that would end your life if you took a single wrong bite. Who would've thought they'd only cause a mild hand tremor at best? I'm so sad that Lucia's body is this ridiculously sturdy...
"Should I just give up on poisonous mushrooms...?"
If it were a truly lethal, highly toxic mushroom, maybe it would be a different story, but there was a clear limit to what I could forage on the mountain behind the school. But besides wild mushrooms, was there any other way to get my hands on poison? What kind of hazardous materials could I buy on the market? Should I chug some pesticide? Inhale butane gas? *Mmm*, I doubt that would even tickle my liver.
Even when I suppressed my Super Regeneration, Lucia's physical body was durable beyond imagination. It was probably because she was a regeneration-type supernatural ability user; even with her powers suppressed, her passive constitution remained. Any mediocre poison would only result in a bit of dizziness or dry heaving.
If I used my status as an academy student, I might be able to procure some seriously dangerous poisons. But I didn't want to go that far. That would just be asking for trouble. Oh well. I give up, I give up. Honestly, it's not like I'm in a rush anyway. I was just looking for a novel experience. I'm sure an opportunity will present itself eventually. I'm certain of it. There are plenty of monsters that carry venom, so I just need to wait patiently.
Still, even though I was disappointed that they weren't as potent as I'd hoped, having my hands and feet go numb while my stomach churned wasn't a bad experience. I should keep harvesting mushrooms regularly. I'll treat them like snacks and munch on them whenever the craving hits.
When I marked "Evidence Destruction Day!" on my calendar and waited for it to arrive, time seemed to crawl at a snail's pace. But once it was right around the corner, everything felt like it had passed in the blink of an eye. It was like, Huh, is it already that day? As I spent each day to the fullest, the day of our field training was suddenly looming large before us.
Which meant it had been nearly a month since I became Lucia. If you were to ask me how it felt to live as a woman for a month... well, nothing special? I mean, Lucia isn't exactly a normal girl, is she? To be blunt, she has a screw loose. Actually, a lot of screws. It's hard to call someone normal when they carve up their own body in all sorts of bizarre ways every single day. Just the other day, I performed a major surgery where I left the flesh and muscle intact but pulled out the bone. It was tough because there were so many tendons and things clinging to the bone. But once I got it done, I managed. My left arm flopping around limply was so hilarious. It looked exactly like a deflated balloon.
Yeah, even I admit I'm not normal. If anyone had seen me, they would have committed me to a mental asylum. Maybe it's because Lucia possesses such an abnormal mindset, but I just shrugged off the gender swap. It's not like I turned into some non-human monster; I just became a girl. Women are people too, after all. The physical changes, the clothes, the way guys looked at me—I got used to all those differences pretty quickly as time passed.
Except for one thing. There was one thing I couldn't get used to. Menstruation. In other words, a period. I, uh... experienced it. I can definitely see why women get hysterical during it. It wasn't a huge deal for Lucia, but it certainly is for normal women. The real issue lay in the very fact that I menstruated. If you think about why menstruation happens, it means Lucia's body is capable of bearing a child. I could get pregnant.
Honestly, it's a bizarre feeling. Dread? Terror? Unease? My mind was in a complete jumble. I couldn't put it into words. Knowing that I could carry a child made me wonder, Is this really okay? Becoming a mother. To put it bluntly, if I have sex with a man and get pregnant, I'll become a mother. ...*Mmm*, yeah, that's a bit much, isn't it?
For the first time since becoming Lucia, I felt true terror. Fear in its truest sense. For Lucia, who loves pain and humiliation more than anything, harboring such an emotion was incredibly unprecedented. Look, I'm going to live true to my desires. Because I'm a pervert. I should live like a pervert, pervertedly. I don't want to be violated by a man. I hate the thought of it so much it makes me want to weep tears of blood. But... I love that feeling of hatred. If the right moment comes, I'm sure I'll cross the line. But if I suddenly end up pregnant... how would I even act? Do I even have the right to carry a new life? A piece of trash like me, becoming someone's mother... *Mmm*, I don't know. I really don't know. Since I don't know, let's just not have sex. At least until I sort out this messy state of mind.
Besides, this body belongs to Lucia, and I believe I have to return it to her someday. Getting pregnant on my own whim would be incredibly inconsiderate, wouldn't it? So, I need to learn how to control my excitement. Since I tend to go off the rails when I get extremely aroused, I need to exercise some self-restraint. Who knows? Consumed by lust, I might blurt out something crazy like, "Anyone is fine, so please violate me!" I almost did something similar last time, after all. Throwing myself at just any guy would make me nothing but a whore. I have no intention of becoming a whore. I do have some self-awareness as a heroine, you know.
Even as time flowed on, there were no major changes in the causality. I had deliberately tried to keep things that way. In the original novel, Lucia is a loner. During the first semester, she just quietly got by. However, I had befriended Aris far too early. I didn't want to create any more variables. Aside from Aris, Arin was the only one I talked to relatively often. Calling us friends was a bit of a stretch, though. Since Arin was the class president and got along with everyone in the class, I felt like I was just one of many classmates to her. We paid attention to each other because we were in the same class, but we'd naturally drift apart once our classes changed. That was the exact extent of my relationship with Arin.
Yujin, the protagonist of this world, was already beginning to stand out. The only ones in our class who could even keep up with him were Leo and the rest of the Golden Generation. It seemed the teachers were constantly gossiping about it—how Class A was overflowing with talent. Of course, there were talented individuals in other classes and grades too. Some of them even rivaled the Golden Generation in terms of raw talent alone. They just lacked protagonist syndrome. Keeping up with the Golden Generation, who would grow exponentially through a continuous series of incidents and miraculous encounters, was impossible with talent alone. Unless the flow of destiny favored them, it was hard to grow as much as they did.
Right now was actually the period when the Golden Generation was at their most ordinary. The story of Dawn Swordsman hadn't even truly begun yet. Most of the time I had spent since becoming Lucia consisted of trivial moments that would be briefly glossed over in the original work. But now, the day of the field training was arriving. The moment when the curtain would officially rise on the story was finally upon us. To say I wasn't nervous would be a lie. I had a vague anxiety about the future. Just because Lucia was a masochist didn't mean her head was filled with nothing but rainbows and sunshine.
Even as a joke, Dawn Swordsman could never be called a peaceful story. Quite the opposite. It was a perilous novel that teetered on the brink of absolute ruin. Interdimensional monsters constantly invading. Enemies growing progressively stronger. Hidden secrets coming to light. The three-hundred-year war would reach its climax in Yujin's generation, finally drawing to a close.
I mustn't delude myself. Just because I transmigrated into this novel doesn't mean I'm the protagonist. The center of this world is still Yujin. The world revolves around him. Lucia is a heroine and undoubtedly an important character. That fact is indisputable. Without the character of Lucia, Yujin can never be complete. So, instead of acting out of turn trying to play the hero, I should focus on supporting him from the shadows as a heroine. Especially by working hard to hook him up with Aris.
Because of me, Yujin and Aris's first meeting was completely ruined. The resulting butterfly effect had looped around, leading to me becoming friends with Aris instead. Originally, Yujin should have been in my position, not Lucia. Honestly, I'm a little anxious. It's been almost a month, and there's still absolutely no contact between Yujin and Aris. We're still in the very early stages of Dawn Swordsman—practically the prologue—so it's fine for now, but it's going to be a real problem if this keeps up. Why don't you two show some self-awareness as the main heroine and the protagonist? Fall in love already. Start flirting. Get all lovey-dovey.
Given Aris's personality, there's no way she'll make the first move. Yujin has to be the one to approach her. Well, let's do our best. I'll pull the strings from behind the scenes to make it happen. You can do this, Lucia. Let's go, fighting! Time to become Cupid!
But I shouldn't focus solely on Aris either. She isn't the only heroine, after all. There's Arin, Anastasia, and even me. Let's all get along and save the world together. If we fail, we all die. Although I have some lingering anxieties, there's no need to worry too much. I already have the answer sheet, after all. As long as we stick to the original plot, everything will be fine. Even if it requires some sacrifices along the way, as long as we can reach the happy ending... I am fully prepared.