Chapter 78
Chapter 78
Saint, You’re So Vulgar! – Chapter 78
It wasn't the most cheerful start, but the greetings wrapped up decently enough.
The former crown prince of Baern and skilled warrior, Gester, had pretty favorable conditions for posing as a mercenary.
And as it turned out later, his mercenary identity was solid too.
"Mila's my double identity. Gotta earn medicine money for my dad somehow, and all I'm good at is swinging a sword! Never took on big jobs since I had to go solo, but my skills have a solid rep in Baern, so no worries about getting suspected."
No wonder that falsetto sounded familiarthere was a backstory like that.
He called himself the "Lone Rose Mila," but Asher didn't buy it.
There was no way the mercenaries had given him a decent nickname like that.
It had to be something insulting, like his own "Incestuous Tia."
Well, he'd find out eventually.
Gester chatted with Halia and Diego, and before long, he learned their true identities too.
"Ahh, the Holy Faith Order. So that's where you ended up, Asher."
He was speaking to Versia, but Asher could see Gester's expression in that moment.
A mix of relief and bitterness, emotions crossing his face.
Asher got it. Returning to Baern was temporary; he'd realized the dream of becoming a great general under the king from his childhood days was impossible now.
He felt sorry, but that didn't mean he had any intention of switching sides now.
Whether Versia sensed those feelings or not, her words echoed Asher's own thoughts.
"Things just ended up this way. Sorry."
"Nah. If you're happy, that's what matters. And that young lady over there...?"
"She's the saintess I serve."
"Oh ho."
Gester looked intrigued.
Baern wasn't part of the continental alliance to begin with.
They only knew of the Order through rumors, which tied into why Asher still used the Trevion name openly.
"Those women who shatter the skies and overturn the earth?"
"Something like that."
"Should've studied continental history if I'd known. Never hear about alliance stuff out here anyway."
Gester scratched the back of his head sheepishly and chuckled.
That's when Halia spoke up.
"I get that you're royalty. I understand you're on board with our plans too. Mind if I ask a few things?"
"Of course! Captain!"
"First off..."
Halia asked about the latest intel on Baern.
It made sense. Asher's knowledge was ten years outdated, and the leadership had changed anywayhe needed an update.
Gester answered faithfully.
Among the key points:
"It's gotten more barbaric than before. Ruins popping up lately are no jokepeople are dying or going missing."
Suspicious info.
Linking rising disappearances to witches brought back a string of recent events.
Sharing intel was crucial.
And if the current dynasty really was in league with witches, they'd have to purge them alland have someone to put in their place.
Gester Kuollin was perfect for the role in every way.
Detailed talks could wait, but negotiations were going smoothly.
Eventually, they got to immediate plans.
Gester's take on Asher's scheme:
"Definitely the most effective approach. Sneaking into the palace makes the investigation a breeze. I've spent half my life there, so leave secret passages and such to me."
Winning the arena tournament was still the goal.
Gester was just joining in now.
Next came strategy talks.
Not out of worry about losing.
Gester didn't know Blue Sword's full strength, but he rated Asher's highly and said:
"I'll look into ways to win just enough. I'll narrow down likely opponents for you."
The discussion continued.
Thus, the infiltration plan was complete.
* * *
Tournament day arrived.
Unfortunately, no time for Gester to catch up properly.
Too little time for all the prep, including operations.
From strategy setup to bracket analysis.
By the end of preliminaries, all of Blue Sword advanced to the finals, frantically plotting "moderately convincing victories" based on the draw.
One fact came to light in the process.
"Finals qualifier~ Asshole Destroyer Mila!!!"
"Ohohong! I'm the Lone Rose, you know~?"
"That's Mila for ya! That guy's ass was twitching when he passed out!"
Lone Rose my footGester's alias Mila's moniker was "Asshole Destroyer."
The reason was kinda pitiful: Gester's swordsmanship drew heavy influence from Hwaran's assassination techniques that had raised Asher.
Hwaran specialized in closing in behind foes with unique footwork.
That footwork let him strike from behind, and combined with his grotesque disguise, it earned him a nickname like "Asshole Destroyer."
Gester didn't care, but Asher felt bittersweet.
The feeling deepened once finals began.
"First finals match! Winner: Asshole Destroyer Miiiiilaaaa!!!"
"Waaaaaaah!!!"
"Asshole! Asshole!"
Mercenary crowds were vulgar.
Gester, immersed in that world, had grown vulgar too.
"Ohohong! Keep calling me that, and I'll destroy your assholes tooooo~?"
"Waaaaaaah!!!"
Gester played to the cheers.
Asher knew it was an act.
With the heavy makeup and falsetto for the all-male event, it was to avoid anyone recognizing his real face.
Still... still.
"...Ahh."
He couldn't watch with eyes open.
"Phew, feels refreshing! You up next, Asher?"
"Yeah, I'll head out."
"Got faith in ya!"
Back in the waiting room, his hearty laugh stirred up all sorts of thoughts.
If he himself had no hang-ups, it'd be rude to dwell on it.
Asher chalked it up as another side of his friend and brushed off the feelings.
Then Versia took the stage.
Her figure visible through the crystal orb, the announcer's booming voice echoing via amplifier.
"Next contender right up~! Blue Sword's Swallow! The lecherous creep giggling from his little sister's skirt folds! Househusband De~rrrruuuunn!!!"
"Waaaaaaah!!!"
"Kyaaaaah!!!"
Versia waved leisurely, drawing roars from men and screams from women.
Why, just why did women cheer only when Versia inhabited that body?
Asher couldn't fathom it and felt confused.
"Guy grew into quite the fine man."
Gester blowing his nose brought a familiar sense of betrayal.
It recalled the moment his church friend Marvin was stolen away.
Hurt flickered in Asher's eyes.
Catching it, Gester laughed ha-ha and said:
"Come to think, this is our first real chat. How's my old pal doing in the Order?"
Was this how they'd catch up?
Asher sighed and replied.
"He's doing well. Made friends, keeps up with training."
"Seeing any girls?"
"N-No way I'd do that!"
"Whoa, shocking."
Asher's face flushed crimson as he yelped; Gester teased.
Realizing what he'd done too late, Asher made an "oh crap" face.
But it only fueled the misunderstanding.
Gester grinned slyly and pressed:
"You like her? Unrequited? Or dating...?"
"...It's not like that."
"Sure doesn't seem not like that."
"Really not...!"
Gester burst into guffaws as Asher glared, trembling.
Sentiment washed over his face as he gazed beyond the crystal orb.
"Stubborn as they come since we were kids. No one could match his bullheadedness."
"......"
"And the one thing he was most stubborn about was romance. Sang songs about one true love for life. Probably the environment's influence. That era's lion corps were great warriors, but like mercenaries do, their private lives weren't exactly clean."
Asher knew the story.
Gester's guess was spot on.
"...Jealous catfights broke out whenever. Hwaran chasing strange women out of the mercenary barracks by their hair was daily routine."
"He even told you that?"
"Yeah, well..."
Stuff he knew because he was there, but anyway.
Gester looked surprised, then chuckled.
"Must trust you a lot."
Asher was at a loss for words.
Luckily, Gester didn't pry deeper.
Conversation ended there.
To Gester, Asher-in-Versia's-body was just his friend's acquaintance.
An awkward dynamic.
In the end, Asher clamped his mouth shut and stared at the crystal orb.
Beyond it, Versia wielded a straight sword, skillfully defeating her foe.
"Aaaah!!! As expected of the lecherous househusband! Toying with his opponent thiiiis thoroughly!!!"
Versia won.
Asher smiled softly at the sight.
Gester remarked:
"Knew you liked her."
"I said no."
Asher shot up, glared primly at him, then hurried out of the waiting room with quick steps.
Versia was coming back. Her beaming smile brightened Asher's face too, followed by Gester's laughter.
He tried hardening his expression against the teasing vibe, but failed.
His earlobes just flushed for no reason.
"My turn next?"
"Yeah, I'll go."
Even in their brief exchange, Gester's words lingered, leaving him flustered.
He headed to the arena in that mood.
Thankfully, distractions faded fast.
"Next uuuup!!! The bro-con so smitten with big bro she can't stand it!!! Incestuous Tiiiiaaa!!!"
Asher's face went cold.
This vulgar mercenary culturemaybe it was time it vanished.
A serious thought crossed his mind.