Chapter 65
Chapter 65
Saint, You’re So Vulgar! – Chapter 65
Asher's fingertips trembled.
His gaze finally turned toward Versia for the first time that day at the question handed to him.
But all he could see was the back of her head, bowed low in the rear seat.
Do you hate me now?
The emotion contained in that question was blatantly raw, unlike her usual self.
And the answer she desired was just as overt.
Considering how Versia was typically enigmatic or capriciously ladylike, this shift felt all the more dramatic.
Asher knew the response that would soothe her.
But he couldn't say it lightly.
A reply tailored to her feelings wouldn't resolve the root issue.
Something else was needed.
The moment he pondered it, the question came again.
"...Are you disappointed in me?"
Now, Asher faced two questions to answer.
They seemed linked at first glance, but his responses would differ.
He pressed his lips together, then opened his mouth.
"I don't hate you."
"...!"
"But yes. I'm disappointed."
Versia's head snapped up.
Her face, which he'd seen for the first time today, had grown haggard in that brief span.
Asher felt a pang of pity.
The object of universal reverence had only one place to lean onhimand that made her fret endlessly.
How could that not feel bitter?
Not trust, but obsession.
Not understanding, but control.
Ignorant of relationships, the absolute authority had chosen only wrong answers, leading to this outcome, and even now flailed without finding the right one.
He hadn't sensed it so sharply when their bodies were swapped.
Probably because there'd been no room for leisure then.
This might be the price for that flaw.
Her blue eyes quivering with anxiety, lips slightly parted, hair tousled and unkempt.
All of it suited her yet didn't.
Versia mulled over Asher's words, her face twisting in confusion.
Her outstretched hand clutched his collar.
The head that had jerked up now drooped again.
"...You don't hate me, right?"
Was that all she could manage to ask?
At this point, Asher was convinced whatever Versia hid was no ordinary matter.
But it wasn't the time to discuss that.
Asher had to deliberate.
She still craved only the answers she wanted, not corrections to her mistakes.
Finally deciding, Asher grasped the hand clutching his collar.
He knelt to meet her eyes.
Versia's hand was soft and cool.
Naturally soshe'd lived a life far from hardship, with no calluses even now, despite his recent use of it.
This fragility might connect to Versia too.
Asher composed his expression and spoke.
"Saintess, aren't you going to ask why I'm disappointed?"
"Ah...."
"That's what I hoped you'd ask."
To converse, one must share true feelings.
Even a child knew that basic truth.
Of course, if his negative emotions meant wanting to part from her forever, he wouldn't have spokenbut that wasn't the case.
Asher voiced his own thoughts.
"Arrogance is dangerous. It's a lesson heard anywhere in the world."
"......"
"I don't think it's solely perilous because it leads to flawed judgments. The greatest pain of arrogance is how it hurts those around you."
Versia's lips pressed tight.
The tremor in her eyes intensified.
Only then did Asher smile for the first time that day.
It was a profoundly bitter smile.
"I believed our relationship was built on trust. You've always listened to my opinions, after all. But this time, it faltered. Rather than dismiss it as a single mistakeconsidering the futureshouldn't we discuss this more?"
"I..."
"Please speak."
"......"
Versia couldn't continue.
Asher vaguely understood why.
Her initial reason had been 'worry.'
But her actions that morning revealed something to him.
She wished the previous day's events could be erased.
That implied something.
Versia saw it as her own mistake.
Yet she didn't want to face it.
It was such a childish, stubborn notion.
But Asher thought perhaps that very stubbornness was the essence of women living within the saintess role and system.
"Saintess."
"...Yes."
"Don't you trust me?"
"...No, it's not that."
"Have I been an unreliable knight to you?"
Versia shook her head.
She looked like a child being scolded.
It was a new sight, and oddly, Asher felt a spark of endearment toward her for the first time.
Of course, he wouldn't torment her just to feel more of it.
"I know you have concerns. But as I said yesterday, what you worried about didn't happen. His Holiness and I only discussed faith, nothing else. Even if I heard something I shouldn't, it would be the same."
A few words couldn't sway a heart.
That was the realm of saints eternally recorded in church history, and Asher knew he hadn't reached that level.
So to give Versia, who sought something surer, the firmest assurance he could offer.
"So let's make a promise."
Asher hooked his pinky with Versia's.
"If I learn of the saintess's untold stories that you haven't shared, I'll come straight to you first and tell you. All judgments will follow that, and I'll strive to understand your choices as much as possible."
He shook their hands gently, smiling warmly.
Versia stared at their joined fingers in a daze.
Then she smiled faintly, as if drained of energy, unable to muster more.
"...You're such a kid."
"In what way?"
"Thinking a pinky promise means it'll be kept is just too funny."
"It's one of the oldest ways to promise. History vouches for it."
"Aren't promises backed by collateral?"
"Wrong."
She wasn't just cynical, after all.
Asher corrected her.
"Collateral is for transactions. Promises need only trust."
They had to believe in each other.
Even before their body-sharing bond, foremost.
"I'm the one who protects you. You're the one who entrusts your back to me. We need to trust and understand each other more."
His sincerity would reach her.
Asher believed in the power of words and smiles.
And she'd taught him that.
He didn't know what whim had prompted her actions in the distant past.
She didn't remember their meeting herself, so it was natural.
But Asher believed that day, Versia had extended her hand in pure kindness.
That whimwhatever it washad been good, selfless, thus pure.
Given the chance, she could build trust with that same pure heart.
"Will you try together with me?"
Asher posed the question.
* * *
Versia steadied her breathing.
Only after Asher talked with her could she finally calm down like this.
His words brought many thoughts to mind.
But first, about this processshe reflected on herself.
She'd fretted over his lack of smiles, only relaxing now that he'd smiled.
It was so...
"...pathetic."
She looked foolish.
Utterly helpless against it herself.
"I feel like such an idiot. For real."
"H-Have I said something wrong...?"
"No, it's not that."
For mere words to dispel anxiety about him felt strange.
But Versia knew why.
It wasn't that his words were inherently trustworthy.
Just because it was him saying them.
That's why she wanted to believe.
Even as part of her remained uneasy, she leaned in.
Because this warmth felt so good right now.
How could she not recognize this as love?
Even with Asher back in his original body, the feeling hadn't changed.
She'd only realized he was the same kind, warm person regardless of form.
It left her bittersweetjoyful yet somehow sad.
Even in relief, a lingering 'what if' persisted.
"You have to keep the promise, okay?"
Versia hugged Asher.
She buried her face in his chest.
In that moment, Versia heard it.
Thumpthe sound of Asher's heartbeat.