The Idol Needs a Sham Marriage
The idol needs a sham marriage. That was what Sorcia concluded as she watched Haru’s younger sister, Primrose. She really was beautiful. More than that, she was cute, mysterious, and possessed a voice, figure, and pure personality that ticked every box men could possibly desire. Yet the way people turned utterly fanatical around her felt… off. Sorcia had even wondered whether the girl unconsciously released pheromones like a young succubus who couldn’t control her instincts, but she sensed nothing of the sort. Was there something they were all missing? Whatever the reason, people became obsessive. And what was more, even monsters—creatures stripped of reason and left with nothing but the urge to destroy—grew docile in her presence. The Serena Union, which had studied monsters for over a thousand years, had never encountered anything like it.
“How truly strange.”
No matter how hard she tried, the answer refused to reveal itself. Still, since it was to her benefit, Sorcia decided to simply watch for now.
“Hey.”
When she glanced sideways, Daisy was already standing there.
“Sorcia. Quit messing around.”
“Pardon?”
“You’re dying to spread whatever nonsense you want by borrowing Haru’s name, aren’t you?”
“My, how could I do such a thing? I am always a faithful servant to Lord Haru.”
Daisy frowned at her as if to say don’t lie to my face.
“By the way, Lady Daisy, when exactly do you plan to show Lord Haru your knee socks?”
“Wh-what the hell did you just say!? You know perfectly well what it means for demon royalty to show a man their knee socks!”
“Doesn’t it mean ‘I will become your wife’ among demon royalty?”
“You know it does! So why are you telling me to show them!?”
“You are a demon princess, after all. For the sake of appearances, being the first wife would suit you best.”
“Haaaaah!? Have you lost your mind!?”
“If you refuse that strongly, I understand.”
At those words Daisy stormed off, fuming. Watching her go, Sorcia let out a soft laugh and murmured, “How naïvely she falls for it.” Then she turned her gaze toward Haru.
“I wonder how I should spend another delightful day with Lord Haru… My whole body is already tingling with anticipation.”
She spoke to the human man who, once again, had no sense of boundaries and was trying to approach her.
“Lord Haru looked at all of you and said, ‘Bugs should crawl on the floor like the insects they are. Why are they walking on two legs?’”
Haru, who had overheard the words through others, looked visibly flustered. Even in a situation like this, his kindness in never getting angry with her only made her want to tighten the leash further.
“Have I… caused trouble again?”
“Not at all.”
She smiled inwardly and continued.
“As an apology, I prepared a dish for Lord Haru.”
When Haru saw the pie she had made, he said,
“You really don’t have to go this far for me.”
“Do you dislike it? Of course… a lowly thing like me could never hope to prepare food worthy of you, Lord Haru.”
“No! It’s so delicious that if I keep eating it I’m going to lose my mind!”
As he poured out praise and began devouring her special pie laced with her own essence, a thrill ran through Sorcia’s entire body. The self-inflicted wound she had opened earlier and healed with magic stung faintly, but watching him clean the plate without leaving a single crumb of her special red sauce made it all worthwhile. Her safe, precious, adorable little t-o-y. Ah… how thrilling.
It had already been three days since he started living with Yohiko. Haru muttered to himself.
Who the hell is spreading rumors like that?
Thanks to the baseless gossip that he had treated students like bugs, his reputation—which had already been in the gutter—completely collapsed. The female students in particular hated sharing the same space with him, so he had ended up eating lunch alone in the deserted old school building, making do with bread every day.
Yohiko wordlessly claimed the seat beside him and stayed quiet for a long time. When he showed no reaction at all, she finally reached her limit. She glared at him and burst out,
“Haru! You’re sitting here with a super-genius beautiful idol like me and you don’t even react!?”
“You literally just called yourself that out loud.”
“Because I am a beautiful genius. It’s just that the girls around you—especially that little sister of yours—stand out so much that I end up treated like air…”
She seemed a bit down lately because of Primrose, so Haru tried to cheer her up.
“It’s true that you’re pretty and a genius, I’ll give you that. And on top of it, you’re an incredibly hard worker.”
“…For real!?”
Yohiko’s voice brightened instantly.
“Becoming the leader of a top-tier idol group is impossible with just talent and looks. Reaching that position means you’ve put in blood, sweat, and tears that no one else sees.”
“Haru~ So you’ve been secretly watching me that closely, huh?”
“Not secretly. Just happened to notice.”
“Is that a dere-dere moment? You’re kinda cute when you’re like that, Haru.”
“Your personality’s a little weird, though.”
“What did you say!?”
“And you’re good at lying.”
“I’m a good idol, so I don’t lie!”
“You skipped PE by claiming you had a work call, didn’t you?”
“H-how do you even know about that!?”
Primrose had overheard it while passing by. Yohiko had been muttering to herself, “Ugh, I don’t wanna~ I’ll just make up a decent excuse and the teachers will let me rest.”
“Were you stalking me?”
“Not stalking. There’s just something that’s been bothering me lately, so I’ve been trying to stay close whenever possible.”
Just like yesterday. Whenever he was with her, he could feel someone watching him with eyes full of killing intent. That gaze carried not only hostility toward him, but also a sinister feeling that seemed aimed at her. It set off every alarm he had.
“Tell the truth! You’re using the bodyguard excuse to stay near me and raise your favorability, aren’t you!?”
“Why would I need to do that?”
“Then how did you know I skipped PE…”
She fell silent for a moment, then averted her eyes and muttered,
“All the girls around you are so pretty… of course you wouldn’t try to win my favor.”
“They are pretty, but they’re not interested in me.”
“…Idiot. Is your IQ in the single digits? I can’t believe a dense human like you actually exists. You’re not actually some creature wearing human skin, are you?”
“You seem to want me to be something special, but unfortunately even a hardworking genius idol like Nagase Yohiko has to accept that I’m just a regular human.”
Well, except when I’m Primrose.
When he looked at Yohiko after saying that, he saw lively eyes and hair, flawless skin—like a vibrant young girl bursting with energy. Yet her expression itself lacked that same liveliness. She looked thoroughly sulky about something.
“What… are you staring at!?”
Maybe because he had been gazing at her so intently, Yohiko’s face flushed as she snapped at him.
“I was just thinking that an idol really is an idol.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That you’re cute. Full of life. It makes sense why people praise you so much.”
“You think… I’m cute?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
She was an idol, after all. Her dancing and singing were flawless enough to deserve the word “genius,” and she was great at entertaining the audience during performances. On top of that, her looks were top-class. In a world where you had to be drop-dead gorgeous just to compete, of course she was cute.
“It’s obvious, so why are you getting so happy about it? Are you sick? What’s with you all of a sudden?”
“Shut up, you moron.”
Why was she suddenly insulting him? After a moment she looked at him again and said,
“It’s Haru, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Nagase Yohiko. That’s my name, so from now on call me Yohiko.”
“Calling an idol like you Yohiko… is it really okay to be that casual?”
“Because you’re my bodyguard! That’s why I’m specially allowing it! Don’t get any weird ideas, got it!?”
“Ah… sure.”
“An idol is giving you this much consideration and you just reply with ‘sure~’? I’m an idol! A top idol! You should say ‘Thank you so much, I’m truly grateful!’ with proper sincerity!”
“For someone as ordinary as me to be allowed to call the great Yohiko by her first name~ I am truly unworthy of such an honor.”
At his teasing reply, Yohiko smiled and said,
“That’s how you should talk to an idol like me~”
When she smiled properly, the already beautiful Yohiko looked even more stunning. Since she was a woman far out of his league, he decided not to entertain any strange dreams and just give up quickly.
“As a gift to celebrate getting this close with me, Haru, I’ll give you something.”
She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, signed her name on it with a pen, and handed it over.
“It’s a handkerchief I’ve used, plus my personal autograph.”
“Really…?”
“Just putting this up on a secondhand trading site would get you over ten million won.”
“For real!?”
“Of course. A handkerchief with the sweat of super idol me on it… oops.”
She cleared her throat and added,
“If you sell it just because it’s expensive, I’ll kill you!”
“I won’t sell it.”
The mention of ten million won was tempting, but he wasn’t the kind of person who would sell a gift given so sincerely. So he said,
“Then I can’t just stay still either.”
He took out a bracelet and handed it to her.
“What’s this?”
“Oh, I’ve been learning all sorts of things lately.”
He had bribed Hunya with chocolate to learn ‘Enchant’ magic. This was one of the practice pieces he had made while training those spells.
“It has a stamina enhancement enchantment that increases physical activity.”
“Artifacts with functions like that are hard to get unless you’re fighting monster armies, right?”
“Are they…?”
“Yeah. And you’re really giving something like this to me??”
“Of course…”
“Hmmm, so you were trying to score points with me using this~ There, there~ So you really were a fan of mine all along~ If you’d just said so earlier, I could have given you some special fan service just for you, Haru.”
She examined the bracelet he had given her and said,
“The sapphire on this bracelet you gave me is really pretty.”
“It’s not a sapphire. Sorcia said it’s mithril.”
Her large eyes fixed on him.
“What?”
“Mithril… do you even know how much that’s worth?”