Audrey Wants to Be Held by Her Manager
I turned at the sound of hurried footsteps. “Audrey…? What’s wrong?”
“Ah, Manager. It’s… please help me.”
What I saw when I rushed over was a little girl squatting on the ground, sobbing loudly, and Audrey standing awkwardly beside her. Surely Audrey hadn’t shoved the child while shouting something like “This lacks aesthetics!”… The girl must have tripped while running. Her knee was badly scraped, and a thin trickle of blood was seeping out.
“Did you see a faucet nearby?”
“Umm… I think there’s one over there…”
“Then let’s take her there.”
Without wasting another second, I scooped the girl up in my arms and followed Audrey’s lead toward the water tap. I rinsed the sand and blood from her knee with cool water. The sting made her cry even harder, her small shoulders shaking with sobs.
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“Hic… I-I’m o-okayy…”
Her eyes were brimming with tears, yet she still tried to say she was fine. I turned my handkerchief over and gently dabbed the moisture from her knee while keeping up the conversation.
“What’s your name, friend?”
“Y-Yuna…”
“Really? That’s a very pretty name. Alright, Yuna, shall we go see the teacher now?”
I held Yuna close, rocking her gently in my arms, and we began walking slowly toward the orphanage building so her knee could be properly treated.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Good children don’t cry, you know? Let’s stop those tears, hm?”
“But… who even says that these days…?”
“Then what do the teachers at the orphanage say?”
“They just… tell me to endure it even if it hurts.”
Modern education really is bleak. “Still, everyone finds it hard to bear pain, right? So a child who can endure pain well is a good child.”
“But I’m not a child.”
“Sure, sure. Then Yuna is a wonderful adult.”
“…You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”
“Hey, I’m not teasing. I mean it.”
Maybe because she was talking with me, Yuna seemed to have already forgotten the pain in her knee. I continued chatting with her, gently stroking her soft hair. She’d claimed she wasn’t a child, but she didn’t seem to mind the head pats at all.
“Good girl, good girl…”
……….
Before long, Yuna had grown completely calm. She stayed nestled in my arms, letting me stroke her hair over and over.
“When I was little and cried because something hurt, my big sister used to pat my head just like this.”
“…My dad used to hug me too.”
“Your dad…?”
Yuna nodded, her face still buried against my chest. “Mom passed away in the hospital, so Dad raised me while working as a hunter. Before he left for work, he would hug me a lot.”
“I see.”
But the fact that she was here in an orphanage now… I felt a bitter taste rise in my mouth. Behind the glamorous image of hunters using their abilities to slay monsters in spectacular fashion lurked countless variables and dangers that constantly threatened their lives. How long could a person’s luck hold out while walking such a tightrope? If they kept working as hunters, eventually the day would come when they slipped in an unexpected place. The hunter would be hunted by the monsters in turn, breathing their last alone inside a gate. And children like Yuna would be left behind, abandoned in the shadows of that dazzling stage.
“Still, you’ve grown up so bravely, our Yuna. I’m really proud of you.”
“…I know.”
“Yeah. Now I know it too.”
I adjusted my hold on Yuna, whose voice had grown slightly hoarse, and stroked her hair once more with gentle fingers. “Hang in there, Yuna. I’ll always be cheering for you. Okay?”
“Okay…”
If my sister were here, she definitely would have said the same thing.
Then I suddenly felt a gaze on me and turned my head.
……….
Audrey was quietly staring at me with a dazed expression. Or rather, she was looking at me—and at Yuna cradled in my arms. Her eyes held a distant, wistful look, as if she were seeing something far away. The moment our eyes met, she quickly turned her head away.
…How long had she been watching?
Feeling a bit embarrassed all of a sudden, I held the child a little tighter and continued walking in silence. Even so, I could still feel Audrey’s gaze on me the entire time.
Have I been too cold to Audrey lately…?
I tried to ignore her inexplicably heavy stare. When we finally reached the main building of the orphanage, a teacher who had noticed our situation came running with a first-aid kit.
“Yuna, are you alright? Let’s put some medicine on that knee.”
“Yes…”
“Thank you so much for looking after our Yuna, Teacher Yohan.”
“Not at all.”
After saying a brave goodbye to little Yuna, the volunteer work resumed as if nothing had happened.
“Alright, kids, pay attention—”
I played with the children who still had boundless energy, fed them snacks, helped them take naps, read them storybooks after they woke up, and played with them outside again… All of it was meticulously captured in photos and videos.
“Thank you for all your hard work today!”
“You too, teachers.”
By the time the sun began to set, we had neatly wrapped up our volunteer activities at the orphanage.
[I received the files, Boss…. I’ll send them over to the Association…!]
“Yeah, I’m counting on you.”
[Just leave it to me! After all, I’m the only one you have, Boss….]
“You really are the only one, huh.”
…I’m exhausted.
The moment I opened the door to our lodging and ended the call with Baek Soyun, a wave of fatigue crashed over me. Even Calathea, who never seemed to run out of energy, had become unusually quiet after spending the whole day dealing with children she disliked.
“Manager, next time we do volunteer work, let’s avoid anywhere with kids.”
“…Yeah, got it.”
Calathea poked my cheek with her finger—poke—then trudged off to her room. That left only Audrey and me in the living room.
“Audrey, you worked hard today too. …Audrey?”
But just like Calathea, Audrey seemed off. Instead of going to her room, she stood hesitantly beside me, staring at the floor as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t quite bring herself to speak. Wondering if she had a difficult favor to ask, I waited quietly beside her. Finally, she swept her lustrous silver hair back and cautiously looked up at me.
“…Manager. May I use my Wish Coupon now?”
“Of course you can. If you’ve thought of something you want.”
“Then…”
Her slender, beautiful fingers gripped my collar tightly. At the same time, her clear blue eyes locked onto mine with startling intensity.
“Please… hold me.”
Her voice burned with fierce longing.
***
“W-wait a second. When you say hold you… you mean a hug, right?”
“Yes. A hug.”
I’d doubted my ears and asked again, but even after hearing her answer, I still felt confused. The last person I’d expect to ask for something as warm and intimate as a hug was Audrey, with her icy aura that seemed to forbid anyone from getting close. If it had been Calathea’s wish, I would have just gone along with it, but this…
Why is she suddenly asking for a hug?
It wasn’t related to firearms or aesthetics… just a simple request to be held. “Manager, is that not allowed?”
“No, it’s not that it’s not allowed… but are you really sure this is what you want? Just so you know, I might not give out any more Wish Coupons for a while.”
“It’s fine.”
Audrey answered so coolly that she took a bold step forward, clearly expecting to be embraced right away. The wish was so unexpected that I hesitated for a moment, but if this was what she wanted…
“Alright. Come here, then.”
When I spread my arms wide, Audrey obediently stepped into them. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly, pressing her face against my chest and molding her slender body firmly against mine in a full-body embrace.
“Mmm…”
I carefully wrapped my arms around her shoulders in return. Audrey let out a soft, pleased hum and squirmed slightly in my hold.
……….
How many minutes had passed? In the middle of the spacious living room, where the faint sounds of children playing outside could still be heard, the two of us stood perfectly still, holding each other so closely that only the quiet sound of our breathing filled the space. The atmosphere felt strangely intoxicating.
It was as if I could hold her like this forever. And… my heart was racing.
In the heavy but not uncomfortable silence, I adjusted my grip on Audrey’s subtly wriggling body and suddenly became aware of how she felt in my arms.
She feels… really comfortable.
It was odd that my first impression while hugging a woman was how comfortable she felt, but her uniquely cool and pleasant body temperature played a part. Compared to Calathea’s body, which aggressively asserted its presence, Audrey’s slim, slender figure fit perfectly in my arms. The way she nestled against me, fitting so neatly into my embrace, made me wonder if men and women had been made to hold each other like this from the beginning.
Before I knew it, my eyes had gently closed and I was holding her delicate frame with both arms.
“…Manager. Now please stroke my hair.”
“Your hair…?”
I had been sinking deeper into the hug when Audrey’s unexpected request pulled me back. I looked down at her in confusion, but her face was slightly flushed as she gave a small nod, confirming I hadn’t misheard.
It wasn’t a difficult request, so I carefully placed my hand on her beautiful silver hair and began to stroke it gently. Then, as if she had been waiting for this moment—
“And now… please tell me I’m doing well.”
The next request came immediately. You’re doing well…
Suddenly, I remembered the way she had blankly watched me comforting the crying child at the orphanage. I finally understood what Audrey was asking of me.
She had seen a girl who lost her parents being held by me and…
She’s projecting herself and her late father onto this.
Feeling that bitter taste in my mouth again, I silently brought my lips close to her ear.
And then.
“You’re doing well, Audrey. You’re doing more than enough. You’re doing incredibly well.”
I whispered the words that the poor girl who had lost her parents and had to stand alone all this time must have desperately wanted to hear. In response, Audrey hugged me even tighter—quietly, so very quietly.
Somehow… this doesn’t feel like someone else’s business.
Audrey had suffered a massive wound from losing her hero, her guiding light—her father. Because of that, she had developed a mad conviction that she must make the world her father loved beautiful. Ironically, though, it seemed she had been longing for someone to tell her that her “conviction” was right… someone to guide her.
Just like her father.
The madness that begins with loss…
…only makes the empty space left behind even larger.
Since I too had lost my sister, I knew exactly how that felt. Without hesitation, I continued stroking Audrey’s hair. While doing so, I thought about what I would have wanted to hear from my deceased sister, and whispered it softly.
“It must have been so hard standing alone all this time. I’m so proud of you for growing up this wonderfully. There must have been times you wanted to cry your heart out from the pain, but you endured it bravely and overcame it. I’m so impressed. And… I’m sorry for making it so painful for you.”
“Dad…”
“…Yes, Audrey.”
I wasn’t her father, but right now… I held Audrey tightly, over and over, stroking her hair until my arm ached. I kept whispering kind, encouraging, comforting words while gently embracing the girl who trembled faintly and clutched my back with all her strength.
We simply stood there in the living room, holding each other in silence.
“Haa… haaa… haa… haaaa…”
She had calmed down considerably now. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Audrey rubbed her face against my chest, repeatedly taking deep breaths and letting them out in soft sighs. If she kept breathing like that, she would only smell me, and I worried it might be unpleasant—but she didn’t seem to mind. Instead, she wrapped her arms even more firmly around my torso and inhaled again and again.
“Good girl, good girl…”
I was treating her like a child, yet from the outside it probably looked like two lovers embracing. As the endlessly long hug continued, such meaningless thoughts drifted through my mind for a moment.
“……Manager.”
After one final, very deep breath that she slowly exhaled, Audrey quietly lifted her head from my chest. Her eyes were a little red, and her face—which had been paler than Calathea’s—was now quite flushed. She gazed up at me silently. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, then closed again. After a long moment, she finally spoke.
“…I’ll ask you again next time, Manager.”
With that, she hurried into her room.
“This… should be fine, right?”
Giving Audrey a hug that brought her emotional comfort was something I welcomed too, since my job was to stabilize their mental states. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had stepped too deeply into her personal territory.
…It’ll be fine, I guess.
It wasn’t Calathea. It was Audrey. With that complacent thought, I casually brushed my worries aside.
But the next morning.
“Good morning, Manager.”
“Uh, yeah… g-good morning. …By the way, how long have you been standing there?”
“Not long. Only about an hour.”
……….
……….
“…Want a hug?”
“Yes.”
When I found Audrey standing blankly in front of my door, waiting for me for a full hour, I started to regret it just a little.