Chapter 169
Chapter 169
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 169
Chapter Title: 18. What Did I Even Do (1)
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“Here, should we take a break?”
We’d been running nonstop for a full day.
We hadn’t crossed the border yet, but at this point, no human could catch up!
Not even a hero could chase down a carriage with two companions in tow!
“Ellis says we’ve arrived!”
No matter how skilled a coachman I was or how I’d laid down straw on the floor, I couldn’t do anything about the carriage’s jolts.
Our little lady’s bottom must be hurting something fierce, so we needed a short rest!
“Ah, we’ve arrived?”
…That was the plan when I stopped the carriage, but it wasn’t my daughter who came jumping out.
- Why’s the hero coming out of there?
- Beats me?
The hero climbed down with an awkward smile.
He wasn’t alone.
An elf hopped down with a haughty expression, followed by a priest carefully gripping the carriage railing as she descended!
- Me, acting as coachman for the hero’s party!
- I’ve heard tons about the hero’s companions, but a coachman being one of them? First time!
No, you lump of metal.
What kind of party is a hero’s party, anyway?
It’s the kind that draws envy just passing by—a dangerous bunch.
Useful for drawing in fans, sure, but who’d want to join a hassle where every Tom, Dick, and Harry clings on begging to be saved?
I’m nearly fifty—think I’m gonna fight monsters day in, day out?
Orcs are one thing, but ogres? You swing at ’em and your sword just bounces off!
Heroes are fated to beat down dragons or demon lords as final bosses.
For a commoner like me, that’s a one-way ticket to the afterlife.
My parents from my past life met the same end!
- Got it, so countermeasures quick. How about I smack him upside the head and we bolt?
Tempting words, but would that guy obediently take a bat to the noggin?
Unlike self-proclaimed heroes, these church-called ones are the real deal—blessed by the gods, they grow fast.
Likely swordmasters or archmages at base, with a couple sub-classes mastered too.
He was talented even back in the organization days; with divine blessings, he’s a walking disaster for villains.
- And the master’s the disaster to that disaster.
- That’s by design.
My disciples, raised getting smacked with the bat since childhood, have a soul-deep fear of it.
That’s why the hero keeps glancing warily at the bat.
The priest staring at me with the same look? Same deal.
And so, an awkward silence stretched between me and the hero’s party.
“Daddy!”
Just as we were all keeping mum, my daughter came running from the carriage and threw herself at me.
“My little lady, you okay?”
“Yeah, I just slept the whole time!”
“Good girl.”
I stroked her head, and she beamed up at me.
“What’s with that look?”
The hero was staring like he’d seen a magical girl who’d just team-killed everyone after yelling, “If the soul gem births a witch, we all gotta die!”
What? That hopeless, dreamless expression?
“No, it’s nothing.”
He averted his eyes a bit, but I let it slide with a big heart.
“Alright, looks like everyone’s off the carriage.”
I grabbed my daughter under the arms and hoisted her up.
Then I trudged back and plopped her into the carriage again.
“Huh? We got off—why back on?”
“Gotta run a quick errand. The horses’ll move fast, so hold tight in the corner over there.”
“Okay!”
I watched her head to the back with her cat and dragon in tow, then settled naturally into the coachman’s seat.
Whip in hand, I cracked it without a backward glance at the hero’s party standing there dumbfounded.
“Wha—?”
“Wait!”
“M-Master?”
Master? Who’s whose master!
Sure, a chosen hero being an ex-evil organization trainee is awkward!
So let’s just play dumb and roll!
“Hya!”
The horses bolted wildly at the whip crack.
Or tried to—they weren’t moving forward.
“What the—?”
“Hey, Hill! Hop on quick!”
“You maniac?!”
The hero was holding the carriage back.
This is a two-horse carriage! Pulled by two horses at full gallop! And one guy’s stopping it?
“Smack him?”
The bat riding shotgun beside me tilted its head.
Hit the hero? Risky if I miss, but skip it and I’m in for a loser’s road trip with him.
No need for long thought.
“Smack him.”
“Yap!”
The bat hopped off the carriage and waddled toward the hero.
“Urk… Huh? You?”
“Ar Punch★”
“Gaaaaah!”
With his scream, I felt the carriage lurch forward.
A bit risky, but I leaned out and peeked—there was the hero rolling on the ground.
- On the carriage!
- Nice!
Seems the bat hopped back on in the meantime.
“Run! Run hard and you get a carrot!”
Not quite the organic ones my daughter and I grew with love, but our village carrots were tasty!
The horses either knew the deal or hated the whip—they neighed “Hiiing!” and charged ahead.
- Master, something’s chasing us?
- What?
- The elf!
“You! Stop!”
“Crazy?”
There she was, the elf sprinting alongside.
A turquoise aura cloaked her—pretty impressive. She’d caught up to two horses at full tilt pulling the carriage, short-term.
Hero’s party: a real monster magnet!
“The hero needs your strength.”
“I just wanna rest.”
Two more whip cracks, but no speed boost.
Max velocity already.
Shaking her? Probably impossible.
“Sigh… Fine.”
Sorry to the whipped horses, but I made a reluctant face and stopped.
“Good choice.”
The elf sighed in relief as the carriage halted.
And then, toward that elf.
“Sis! Sis?”
“You?!”
“Ar Punch★”
“Kyaaaa!”
The bat clocked her.
“This okay for real?”
“Hero got one; party’s fair game.”
“Heehee, I like! Sis, that wasn’t a mouth noise!”
In a deserted mountain path corner.
I watched the bat mount the fallen elf and chant “Pochi-pochi” after ages atop her.
Her pleas and screams soon turned to curses—not long at all.
“Even forest folk curse, huh.”
“Nah, you just make elves curse.”
“Hmph, who shaped this body!”
The bat hopped back on after that loaded line.
“Dangerous to leave her here…”
Big nations trade with elves, but small kingdoms still had slavery for them, dwarves, etc.
Hell, they enslave their own—why not others?
So I hauled the elf into the bushes and laid her down.
Nice guy like me—hope no one touches her.
- What if beasts or monsters get her?
- If I’m liable that far, I’d be a saint!
No need for more loyalty than that.
Leaving the downed elf behind, we drove and drove.
Pushing hard with just brief rests, we crossed the border on the third day.
“This should do it, right?”
Swapped horses twice for speed.
Even monster-level trackers couldn’t cover three days straight.
But why…
“Why are you popping out of there?!”
Starting camp and dinner, I screamed seeing the hero and his party burst from the carriage.
#1 Their Circumstances: A Certain Hero’s Circumstances
I grinned at the flustered instructor.
“Knew this’d happen, so I had a teleport gate installed in the carriage.”
Asked Selena ahead; she set the magic circle while hiding.
Linked to Hill’s holy magic—stability no regular mage gate could match!
“Just you three activated a teleport gate?”
“Magic power was plenty.”
Usually needs magic stones or group support.
But we’re powerhouses, each with massive mana!
Selena’s famed for it, yet mine and Hill’s holy power dwarfed human limits.
“Now then…”
“Ar!”
“Wait!”
No sooner said, the silver girl from three days ago lunged—the one who’d flattened me.
“Eek, dodged!”
“P-Please hear me out!”
The moment she connected, I knew.
This was the bat.
No way a little girl’s fist hurts this much!
It’s a weapon of mass destruction in girl form!
So I’d prepped countermeasures.
I’d always pondered how to fight the bat.
“No. 1000 met me once.”
“That… child?”
How to fight the bat: first and last rule.
“Yeah. You might know—she served the Imperial Princess.”
Never fight!
“Blackmail?”
“No way I’d threaten my respected master.”
Instructor caught on quick, as expected.
Time for seasoning.
“And a divine oracle came to my comrade, the saint Hill. If you don’t join me, you’ll be declared enemy of all churches.”
Not a lie.
Omitted “me,” but refusing makes you church enemy—no fib.
“All churches?”
“Yes.”
I smiled warmly; Hill and Selena looked panicked.
Why that look?
Like villains spotting a scam—cheated vibe?
They’ve both been batted; still not learned?
“So you must come.”
“The continent’ll issue warrants for you.”
Also true.
That princess No. 1000 mentioned? She’d do it.
Hell, that imperial tyrant’d do it easy.
“Urgh…”
Instructor knew it well.
Worked together—knows her better than me.
“So, what’ll it be?”
Honestly, scared.
If the silver girl charges despite hints, I’ll bolt best I can.
If even this fails, ignore oracles and run!
“Sigh… No choice.”
With a small sigh and nod.
“I’m Naruan, master to this fool. Take care of me.”
But then, the instructor…
“He bolted again?!”
That night, as we slept at camp, he ditched the carriage and fled.