Chapter 160
Chapter 160
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 160
Chapter Title: 16. It's Burning. (9)
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# 160
“Die, die, die, die!”
“Gaaahhh!”
Dog next, now snake.
A snake that's good for the body and tastes good too!
I hum along involuntarily to the rhythm, swaying my body as I start bashing the snake-headed demon.
With just no horns on its head, you could mistake it for a lizardman.
-As expected, gods seem to half-ass their work.
-Should've taken the day off?
-Is that so?
Most demons look like things you can find on this continent.
An elf that's black with horns is a dark elf demon.
A beastkin with horns is a demon named after that beast.
A human head with horns attached is a human-demon, etc. They just copy-paste roughly and slap on horns to make demons.
You can see how negligent those two creation gods were in their duties during the world's creation.
“Gweeek!”
“P-Please… kill me…”
“Yeah, I'll kill you even if you don't ask. First, where's our little miss? Looks like the old man wiped out everyone while she was running.”
I keep smashing down on the guy's head with my iron bat as he lets out pig-squealing screams.
Even after beating it like this, its skull doesn't crack.
Have I ever seen such a symbol of durability?
“Alright, now shall we switch from self-morijangdan rhythm to machine music?”
I'm tired of always beating to the sound of a janggu drum.
So this time, fast-tempo hip-hop, song title is aXsaXder's Xtol!
“Is there anyone who'll restore my rice paddies!”
“Gweeek!”
“What's that? You're not even an orc. A snake making gweeek noises?”
Pigs are at least tasty, but snakes? Personally, not my thing.
“Hero, have you caught the demons?”
“Huh?”
Just as I'm yelling at the pig-squealing snake head to 'hurry up and snake it up already!' an ominous voice calls out from somewhere.
-What's that?
-Hero.
I turn my head slightly, and there's a young man with golden hair.
The sword he's holding screams 'I'm the holy sword!' to anyone who sees it, pure white and all.
But something else catches my eye first.
-That guy over there. Doesn't his face look familiar?
-Yeah. Super familiar.
-Yeah, that handsome face, blond hair, blue eyes… Feels like the first time seeing him, but so familiar.
-Master? Isn't that… what you said when little bro became flat-chested, as escapism?
-Huh, haha…
No way.
The guy that pops into my head instantly is a direct descendant of the grand duke's family from the world's strongest nation, the Karan Empire.
The Raina Grand Duchy is twice the size of this country and five times stronger economically!
Why would a direct descendant of such a grand ducal family be here!
And calling himself a hero at that!
You four-eyes, you're my disciple!
A former member of the Evil Organization, as far from hero as you can get!
“Gwaaak!”
Lost in a daze, I keep bashing the pig-squealing demon below, when the handsome blond hero sheathes his sword and bows to me very politely.
“Ah, long time.”
“Long time no see, Master.”
-Got caught.
No, why is a hero popping up there? And a former disciple hero at that?
“M-Master?”
Behind him, a priest stares at me in shock.
“The hero's master? This person?”
An elf next to him tilts her head at me curiously.
“Daddyyy!”
“D-Dad?”
And behind them, the neighbor old man who looks pale but not seriously hurt, and his granddaughter running out crying.
“Daddy, it was scary!”
“What about Misha and Kkoko?”
“They're all knocked out, so Grandpa's with them!”
“I see. Were you scared?”
“Yeah… Daddy and Big Sis were gone too, so I was really scared.”
“It's okay now.”
“Waaah!”
She buries herself in my arms and starts bawling.
I naturally pat her with my left arm while my right keeps swinging the bat without stopping.
-M-Me too! Me too, emotional moment with little sis!
-This guy's still not dead!
BGM like [Gweeek!] doesn't fit an emotional moment with my daughter.
So I ignore the iron bat's apparent dissatisfaction as it slams into the snake's snout.
Right now, confirming my daughter's safety is key.
'And that punk, he'll just leave, right?'
The hero's whereabouts matter more, with that 'Dad? Daughter? Whose daughter?!' look on his face as he watches us.
“Sniff… And Daddy… our fields… the crops…”
“I… saw them too.”
“Daddyyy!”
Her eyes, holding back tears for a moment, now overflow again.
Even I get a little choked up, so how must my little girl feel!
“You damn snake bastard.”
“Bad!”
Her tears make me bash the snake even faster.
My daughter stomps cutely on the helpless snake-headed demon too.
“Um, excuse me…”
The priest watches us with a horrified look and speaks awkwardly.
“Isn't that demon… dead?”
“Nope?”
“R-Really?”
He looks awkwardly between me and the snake head, so I stab the hoe from my waist into its side.
“Even an attack like this without a scream means it's dead…”
“If it hurts from this much, it's whining. The real deal is this.”
“Gweeek!”
“Snake keeps making pig noises. Shut up.”
I retrieve the hoe and slam the iron bat in its place; the snake head convulses so hard it lifts off the ground a bit, and I bash away.
“Anyway, if you're done, leave?”
“Y-Yes.”
I glance at the priest trembling and hiding behind the hero, then speak to my daughter.
“Shall we go now?”
“Yeah… Oh, what about Big Sis?”
“Ar's waiting a bit further away.”
“I see.”
I stroke her head; she purrs happily like a cat, so I scoop her up and head to the old man.
“Finish it.”
“Yep.”
I nod at the flustered hero by the old man; he walks toward the demon step by step.
Stab. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Stabbing a lot.”
As a former instructor, I feel proud seeing him perform perfect kill confirmation without forgetting his teachings.
“You've worked hard.”
“Yes, this time it was truly hard. Let me ask honestly. Did you anticipate this, Melrn?”
“Not exactly anticipate, but since Ellis had special circumstances, I figured something might happen.”
“You could've given a heads-up. It was really dangerous.”
“Sorry.”
The cat in my arms and the limp Kkoko seem exhausted too.
“Thank you so much.”
“Thank you, Grandpa.”
My polite daughter slips from my arms and bows; the old man smiles kindly and shakes his head.
“No, as long as our cute Ellis is safe, that's what matters.”
“Grandpa's the best!”
The incident wraps up in warm smiles.
Living here might be impossible now, but at least everyone ends smiling…
“Master. Won't you travel with me?”
Damn it, you worthless minor gods!
#15 Their Circumstances: A Certain Hero's Circumstances
Argh, you damn god of nature.
“Ah, yeah. No thanks.”
“Hero?”
I send the poor battered demon to the demon god's embrace with my bat.
Now, how to part with the instructor without suspicion.
The instructor is being hunted by the Empire.
By the one person you absolutely shouldn't touch, Her Highness the princess herself.
And when I ran into my cohort, No. 1000, who joined her direct subordinates by chance.
She told me this.
-If you meet the instructor, contact us. Anywhere? Anywhere tied to the Empire's fine. Just say where Ast is~
After becoming a hero not long ago, she said this while devouring skewers with her left hand in a festival village.
-If you hide him… you're dead.
Thwip.
She shook her hand lightly, and six wooden skewers embedded in front of me at invisible speed.
-W-Who?
-Beats me?
A subtle smile.
That smile screamed, 'You know, but do I really have to say it?'
So better report quick.
Soon as I leave here, head to an Empire-related place and report the instructor's location!
“But… but!”
“It's an oracle!”
This damn god of nature gave me an oracle.
“An oracle to keep this meeting going. I must follow them no matter what. You have to, Hero!”
“Ah, no. Why always dump work on me? Doesn't the god of nature have other heroes?”
“Yes.”
“Right…”
Heroes are one per church.
That's why I'm slaving away like a dog.
But not this time. I can't take it.
“No. Absolutely no.”
“Y-You called him Master! If the hero asks, won't he join?”
“No way he'll agree.”
He was a bit surprised at 'Daddy,' but he's not one to tag along.
That kid called his daughter must have hidden talents too.
Even if she seemed knocked out, a kid that age stomping a demon's body in rage? Unthinkable.
At least her personality takes after her dad—good scene.
Traveling with them and that kid? Pure hell!
“I don't want to experience a mortal hell myself.”
“What on earth happened…”
“Ignorance is bliss.”
Memories flash; I shudder.
Magic bombardment training and all sorts.
Abandon allies to dodge low strikes, eat poison mushrooms on mountains, fight No. 17 and No. 1000 for a meal…
“Yeah, no way.”
The more memories, the more I realize how demonic that instructor is.
Avoid. Avoidance is best, middle, and worst policy.
No other plans needed.
“But… ugh…”
“Ah, what now!”
Hill clutches his chest and collapses; chills run down my spine.
The saint's mark on his chest.
When it glows, it means the god gives a direct oracle to his approved priest.
And that means.
“You damn god, why can't you leave me alone!”
It means he'll roll me again.
“An o-oracle. And not just the god of nature—a grand oracle with other gods too!”
“Grand oracle?”
Shaking from excess holy power, Hill mutters looking at me.
“H-Hero. The gods say travel with them. If not…”
“If not?”
“All gods… even the demon gods… will make you their enemy…”
“Huh?”
Demon gods and human gods are brothers yet from different creators, so they mostly hate each other.
Yet they're teaming up to task me?
“What the hell is your tea—no, Master?”
Bat as evil god's weapon, chased by scary women.
Former Evil Organization.
No reason for gods to freak like this.
“They're beings even gods can't glimpse…”
“What?”
“The first and last singularity of this world.”
And the next day.
I set off traveling with the instructor.