Chapter 131
Chapter 131
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 131
Chapter Title: Side Story - A Certain Princess's Memories (12)
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#16 Their Circumstances: The Circumstances of a Certain Villain.
"I'll die..."
My whole body aches.
The fight with Sword Heaven was fine, but then Lady Reia came charging at me with eyes full of fire. That was the problem.
"No, was it my mouth that's the issue?"
My mouth had worked overtime yesterday.
I'd figured that no matter how it ended, it'd leave a bad aftertaste with Sword Heaven. So, I pieced together all the stuff I'd heard from executions and priests in my past life, came up with some fitting lines, and tricked him with, "That has been my sword all along!"
The problem was, had I overdone it? When Lady Reia asked, "What kind of life does my sword remind you of?" my mouth just blurted out, "The life of a spinster," on autopilot.
"That was terrifying."
Lady Reia, genuinely furious, was scary.
Her first strike shattered the sword I'd received from the imperial family, and from the second, all I could do was roll on the ground dodging.
I barely survived to the brink of death thanks to the princess's intervention, but my body, pushed to the limit evading a swordmaster's attacks, is screaming with muscle pain now.
"But it wrapped up pretty well, all things considered."
I made the Sword Heaven—the sky of swords revered by all swordsmen on the continent—look like a bastard.
If word spreads, knights in the palace will come after me with swords, claiming I used dirty tricks on him. No need to go far.
"Now, the important part..."
Revenge on the princess who sicced that monster Sword Heaven on me just for feeding him a sandwich with only carrots and cucumbers!
...Yeah, right. I need to get out of here fast.
The imperial palace really isn't a place for humans.
Dragging Sword Heaven in just to screw me over—the scale of this hidden camera prank is insane.
If I get revenge on the princess and then Sword Saint or Sword Emperor shows up?
Unlike the scholarly Sword Heaven, Sword Saint was infamous as a thug, and Sword Emperor as a battle maniac and mad dog.
They're not the type to foolishly fight purely with swordsmanship without mana like Sword Heaven did at the end!
If you hate the temple, the monk leaves. I hate the palace, so I'm out.
"First, ditch the organization?"
Using the hard-earned sick leave/vacation, I went to the Howling contact point inside the palace and begged to drop this mission. The reply? Impossible.
Reason: As the informant closest to the imperial family among those dispatched to the palace, I can't be pulled out.
And,
"Damn... The organization knows me too well."
I want to bolt right now, but seeing my padded salary makes me hesitate.
It's more zeros than my instructor gig, which paid pretty well.
Not one extra zero—two.
Is the treasury scamming on units? Checked if it was silver or gold—definitely gold.
A millennium-old empire lives up to its rep as the strongest evil organization.
They know how to handle people too well!
"With this much money..."
Adding my palace salary, I can keep funding the bat project I've been running.
"Ugh... What's this déjà vu?"
Feels like my past life, the month after a shopping spree possessed me, busting ass to pay off the card bill.
Even the dwarves don't know what they're making and demand insane payments—should I scrap it?
"Ugh..."
Dream project, the bat project—halt it, or flee the life-risking palace?
Former secures the future, latter the present peace.
In other words,
"No matter what I pick, regret follows..."
So then.
"I'll pick the future."
Living for today is for protagonists.
Guys like me, who could die anytime, prep for tomorrow.
Why else dig secret escape routes and traps in the organization?
All for a way out when shit hits the fan!
"Yeah, whatever... I'll endure teasing Lady Reia."
Staying in the palace is max 3-4 years anyway.
Then back to instructing kids.
For that,
"No more promotions. Too risky."
More trust here, and the organization will order me to stay planted.
So, stay quiet, dead mouse quiet.
...I thought.
"Congrats, Ast. You're a real noble now."
Vacation ends, and bam—promoted to baron right above.
***
"Ah... Right, this happened too?"
I frowned slightly at the letter before me.
Maids filter out annoying social invites, so letters rarely reach me, but important ones slip through occasionally.
[Please save me, Your Highness.]
Unfolding it revealed tear stains and pleas for life.
"What to do?"
The incident predated the Sword Heaven-Ast fight.
It was our usual mock battle with Ast.
"Here's the magic bombardment."
Lady Reia grimaced as special bombardment hit the target.
"Huh? D-Defend!"
"Nope, failed."
The special bombardment Ast devised for strategic chess can't be blocked by normal magic barriers.
"...Huh?"
Can't block it. First strike wins always.
Meaning,
"Losing initiative spells doom?"
In real war, it'd inflict massive damage.
And enemies with brains won't ignore big hits.
They'd analyze and counter.
"Hmm..."
Frankly, the magic bombardment is simple.
Generate pure water, freeze it pure, drop from high altitude. That's it.
Mana barriers block mana, not sheer mass—they shatter. No fancy spells or tech.
Anyone could use it if they knew how.
"That's the conclusion."
"Yes, Your Highness."
Sent teary-faced proxy Reia to the corner, told relaxed tea-sipping Ast my thoughts.
"That's it?"
My tea-accustomed hand reached; he picked up his cup, puzzled.
"You want some too, Your Highness?"
"That was yours?!"
He should offer to his lord first, but he sipped his own—I frowned; Ast grumbled but brewed another.
"I brewed it for myself. Of course it's mine."
"Where's the butler drinking tea alone with his master present?"
"Right here."
So natural, even I was speechless.
"Ready, Your Highness."
"Yeah, thanks."
Sipped the steaming tea slowly, savoring aroma and taste as it warmed me, thinking coolly.
"Hmm... Ast really isn't right in the head, huh?"
"No way? Where else in the palace is someone as sane as me?"
"Apologize to all palace pets first."
"Subhuman?!"
I smiled faintly at grumbling Ast.
"Ah, almost let it slide. About earlier—is that really all?"
"Yes, Your Highness. I made a bombardment even the imperial army didn't think of. Do I need to figure out defenses too?"
"Fair."
Ast's position in the palace is delicate, but he's my exclusive butler.
Duties: my education, assistance, protection.
Military questions to him? Improper.
"Hand it to the army then?"
"Empire has talent; they'll figure it out."
"True."
Casual end to our chat.
But afterward, those studying imperial army strategy and tactics had rough days.
[No answer. Can't block it. Please save us. Imperial decree to find a way against this magic bombardment, but our feeble minds can't.]
"...Reia, your thoughts?"
"I don't think they're incompetent, but..."
Passed the letter; Reia read, looking troubled.
"That tough?"
"For knights not at your level, yes."
"Right."
From experience.
Swordmaster Reia, top-tier, says so—bombardment's threat clear.
"Hmm... They're requesting Sir Ast, but will he go?"
"Absolutely not."
Letter ends begging to meet the creator.
Advice or revenge? They demand Ast strongly.
"This mess started 'cause Ast passed it off."
"Precisely—this time, Sir Ast is right."
Politicians do politics.
Soldiers, military.
Administrators, admin.
Palace's three groups stick to roles.
No denying Ast's point.
"But he's the cause."
"True..."
He created the problem.
Could've stayed put, but made weird bombardment to beat me.
He invaded others' turf first.
"Ast's vacation... ends tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Send him then?"
"He won't budge."
"Probably."
Won't move on my order alone.
Needs imperial decree minimum.
"Then make a pretext."
"Pardon?"
Old man... Failed to land a hit on Ast even with Sword Heaven.
So... Use this chance for revenge.
"If no reason for my butler to work, make one."
"How?"
"Yeah. Pen and paper."
Quickly penned replies: to the letter, and to Father Emperor.
"About this much?"
Final letter to personnel done.
"Reia, have maids deliver these. Fast. Today."
Finish before Ast returns.
He resumes tomorrow—work starts then!
"This will end it?"
"Yeah. Butlers exist for that."
Palace divides into politics, admin, military—but butlers span all.
"Butler's prime duty: serve master. Shifts with master's tasks."
Master soldier? Butler learns strategy.
Administrator? Admin skills.
Politician? Same.
Share load, aid—that's butler purpose.
"So if I join military, Ast follows automatically!"
"I-I'm a knight, Your Highness?"
"Yeah. Know knights and military separate. But Reia—you're my guard! So you're military now too!"
"Eek?!"
Grabbed flustered Reia, rushed paperwork.
Military brass need noble rank minimum—so baron for Ast this time.
Some grumbles possible, but strategic/tactical core begged desperately.
Blocking? Feud with military.
Thus, unprecedented speed—Astr's promotion approved.
"This'll ease Ast's complaints?"
"Commoners dream of nobility."
"Right. Formal baron too. No land, but good reward."
One day.
Paperwork done, Ast made noble.
"I was the fool thinking that."
Glanced—Ast rolling on floor, wailing.
"No! What'd I do?! Honorary knight's fine! Honorably! Hate baron!"
First day back, tantrum like a kid—I could only sigh.