Chapter 129
Chapter 129
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 129
Chapter Title: Side Story - Memories of a Certain Princess (10)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
#13 Their Circumstances: The Circumstances of a Certain Villain.
To be honest.
My opponent is the Sword Heaven.
The sky of swords, the master of swordsmanship revered by all swordsmen.
It's lamentable that there are so many lunatics in this world who want to fight such a being, but I'm not one of those crazies.
So, I judged that the best course was to pretend to be moderately serious, lose moderately, and leave a moderately good impression.
But that damned princess saw right through my intentions.
'Not doing it properly.'
I could clearly read her mouthing the words so perfectly.
'Lose... got it?'
And the paper in her hand was a marriage certificate stamped with my seal.
Of course, it wasn't a seal I sold, but one the princess had forged, yet it was apparently officially recognized by the empire.
Even among the seals I own, I don't have anything like that.
A seal I didn't even sell is official?
And this is a fake identity to boot! How is it official?!
'Damn it.'
I'd already thrown a fit about it, but the official in charge said there was nothing to be done since it came from the imperial family.
I'd cursed out the princess too, but all I got back was a satisfied smile.
A smile that stayed pleasant even after being cursed at. It made me seriously wonder if the hypothesis that all nobles have perverse personalities is correct.
Well, unless the emperor takes a bullet to the head, that thing won't have any real effect, but the moment it's processed, I'll have assassins knocking on my door every day.
"You son of a bitch!"
Thanks to that, I'd achieved the feat of making the Sword Heaven— the model swordsman famous for his composure— call me a son of a bitch.
"I had no choice either."
"Bullshit!"
But it was true.
The root of all this was that wicked princess giggling over there!
To think such an evil little brat was only ten years old.
The empire's future looks bright, in every sense of the word.
"In my life... as a swordsman, I've never been mocked like this!"
"I've never been mocked like this with a marriage certificate either."
"Why do you keep saying weird shit!"
Jeez, even though she carries it around near the princess, I'd gotten my hands on some pretty expensive paralyzing poison.
Yet this old guy was swinging his sword around as if nothing was wrong.
It didn't seem like the Sword Heaven was secretly using mana...
Is it the organization? Is there corruption inside the organization!
The reason this high-grade paralyzing poison has so little effect must be due to corruption in the arms supply within the organization, right?
Damn, corruption in arms here too!
"Urk!"
Nah, probably not.
His complexion was starting to worsen, so fortunately, it seemed the Sword Heaven just had a tolerance for poison rather than organizational corruption.
Then I'll keep dragging this out.
"Is this how you do it, cowardly dragging it out like this? Didn't you just claim to be a swordsman?"
"I picked up a sword, so I said I'm a swordsman, didn't I? I just meant it literally—a guy holding a sword."
"You, you bastard!"
"Whoa, looks like you've got some misunderstanding. Why are you getting mad all by yourself?"
I hurl a retrieved dagger while scratching at his nerves.
I have 22 daggers left in total.
Most are small daggers made for throwing, so they can't deal much damage, but they can buy time.
"Yeah?"
"Huh?"
As long as the Sword Heaven doesn't use mana.
"There, as long as the opponent doesn't use mana, I won't use mana either. Isn't that the unwritten rule of those who inherit the name Sword Heaven?"
"That's right. But I'm not fighting a swordsman, am I?"
"Huh?"
"Didn't you say it yourself? You said you're a swordsman just because you picked up a sword, not one of the swordsmen I know. Thanks to you, I've broadened my horizons. Right, a thug picking up a kitchen knife isn't a swordsman."
A wicked grin spreads across the Sword Heaven's face as he cackles, and green energy begins leaking from his body.
A technique to expel poison from the body through the skin using mana.
A technique possible only by perfectly understanding one's body and perfectly controlling mana.
And a technique that guys like me should run from the moment we see it!
"Your Highness? I surrender. I've crossed the line!"
"Hmm? It was Ast who made the old man cross the line, right? It's fine. The old man's not dangerous. He won't kill you."
That line right there.
I know exactly what it means because it's my educational motto.
He won't kill you is just another way of saying he'll do everything short of killing you.
"Right, young man. Do you think I'd kill a promising young fellow like you?"
"Could you please sheath that killing intent first before you speak?"
He'd fully expelled the paralyzing poison from his body, and now sword aura flickered along his blade, aimed at me.
"Surely the Sword Heaven wouldn't strike down someone trying to surrender?"
"Even if you say you're surrendering because you don't know what mischief you'd cause if left alone, it's still tricky."
Hah, how much has this old man observed me?
He knows me that accurately?
"I'll drop my sword."
"Ah, Sir Ast! Don't throw it! I'll take it! I'll take it, so please! I can overlook the sword thing!"
No, my sword was a gift from the imperial family too. You're not taking this one?
As expected, to swordsmen, only their beloved blades matter!
'Wait.'
A perfect scenario suddenly formed in my head.
"Your Highness, can we really not end this?"
Unlike before, the Sword Heaven began his assault even as the princess and I talked.
This lets me gauge just how far his favor toward me has plummeted.
No... does he even have any favor toward me?
"Not like you, Ast. See it through."
"Then I'll do it my way, Your Highness?"
Three throwing daggers left.
The blades in my right shoe are all used up, one left in the left.
The sword I received from the imperial family is already rolling on the ground.
In other words, three throwing daggers, one blade in my left shoe, and Lady Rea's sword in my left hand—that's my full arsenal.
But that's enough. No, even a single weapon can turn this situation around.
"You think I'll let you off now just because you're taking a stance!"
The Sword Heaven charged, his first impressions of me long since flung to Andromeda as he gripped his sword with both hands, but my goal wasn't swordsmanship.
"Kyaaah!"
"Uh?"
As the Sword Heaven swatted away the last blade shot from my left shoe, Lady Rea let out an enormous scream.
What they saw was my so-called scoundrel pose.
Sword raised to face height, tongue sticking out exaggeratedly—that's the key point.
"S-Sir Ast... what are you doing? Really! What grudge do you have against my sword!"
Lady Rea approached with eyes full of tears and resentment, but as she took a step forward, I lavishly flicked my tongue at her.
Flick.
"Kyaaah! Stop, stop!"
"What kind of perverted..."
Lady Rea retreated in haste, the Sword Heaven wore a look of utter disbelief at us, and I addressed the two of them.
"Lady Rea! If you don't defeat the Sword Heaven, your beloved sword will be defiled!"
"You really!"
"What nonsense is this..."
"Haha... hahahaha!"
"Your Highness! Stop laughing and rein him in!"
Two swordsmen at a loss for words, and a ten-year-old brat shedding tears of laughter at the sight.
To an outsider, it might look harmonious, but knowing the subjects are the imperial family's top lunatic—the First Princess—the empire's youngest Swordmaster, and the continent's acknowledged Sword Heaven makes it a truly awkward situation.
"Ast, you're the best."
The princess, thumbs up, burst into giggles again, and Lady Rea—realizing there was no hope—glared at me with the most vicious killing intent in imperial service history.
"Stop joking and leave my sword alone. A swordsman's blade is the swordsman himself. Right now, Sir Ast, you're essentially insulting me... I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was wrong, Sir Ast! Please, anything but that!"
Slide.
I slightly loosened my belt, pulled my pants forward, and made a gesture of lowering the sword there. Lady Rea, who had been oozing killing intent, began backing away in tears.
"N-No! H-How could you do something so cruel!"
"You..."
"Whoa, you stay back too. If you don't want to see a swordsman's beloved blade cruelly violated."
"Lady Rea!"
"Whoa... this..."
Even the mighty Sword Heaven must be facing such a mad situation for the first time.
If the opponent were a man, he'd probably have sliced off my parts the moment it went in, but it's Lady Rea.
Lady Rea, who's oddly innocent and fun to tease.
I declare this as the one competing with Her Highness to torment Lady Rea.
The moment this sword gets any dirtier, she might never pick it up again!
"What kind of dogshit situation is this..."
"You've been mentioning dogs a lot. Is that the only curse you know—tacking on 'dog'?"
"And you seem to know plenty of curses."
Of course.
I come from a country with the universal script, the dawn of curse creation via the internet, top internet penetration.
I'm the one who can teach this world's people, who only know stuffy curses, a new world of profanity.
"Naturally."
"Your Highness, shouldn't we just cut that bastard down? How did he even enter the imperial household before becoming an exclusive butler? Butlers come via recommendation, so what family!"
Where else? The Evil Organization.
In the Evil Organization, being good at cursing is a spec that gets you bonus points.
"Ugh... but... haa... it's fun."
At the princess's words, no longer laughing from pain, the Sword Heaven looked to the sky and let out a silent sigh.
From the look, it was something like 'How did the empire come to this!'
"Look, I'd like to stop too. I live with five resignation letters hidden in my body. And I steadily submit the latest one to the imperial personnel department every time."
"Why is that the latest?"
"Because some busybody shreds it into pieces the moment I submit it."
"Self-inflicted."
That's harsh. It's not your problem.
I just want to hurry back to the organization and keep my sweet gig as instructor!
Not this palace where my head could fly off any moment!
"I'm sorry, Sword Heaven!"
"Heh, hehehe..."
Lady Rea picked up a regular dagger—not a throwing one—from the ground and began threatening the Sword Heaven with sword aura.
"Whoa, not doing it properly?"
"No, this is still humiliat... ing! So please, my White Night!"
"Heh heh heh. What a fine sword. Protect the empire's sun. Become the white night so dark nights can't come! As expected of a famous blade, it's beautiful. But white things get dirty easily. Depending on Lady Rea's actions, your White Night may no longer be White Night."
"Ugh."
The sword aura on the dagger slowly morphed into sword force.
Where does she get off as a Swordmaster—no, not even one of the five sword titles—using sword force in front of the Sword Heaven!
"Lady Rea."
"I'm sorry. But White Night is... my precious alter ego."
"I know that, but..."
Lady Rea bit her lip hard, the Sword Heaven looked troubled, and they stared at each other.
And soon.
"After all..."
"It's been a while since I used sword force myself."
Sword force began forming on the Sword Heaven's blade too.
The Sword Heaven is evaluated as the pinnacle of pure swordsmanship, and while those who inherit his name often lack mana because they devoted themselves to the sword—which is why they take it up—there's no guarantee that bearing the Sword Heaven name means lacking mana.
But officially, the Sword Heaven is not a Swordmaster.
In such a situation, to clash with the empire's proud lady knight, the Sword Princess, he's using the sword force he'd been hiding!
"Damn, guess I need to start making popcorn from today."
Fortunately, I know how to make popcorn.
Just dried corn kernels, oil or butter, a bit of salt—even I can do it easily.
Even if I can't make caramel or soda, for spectating, it's popcorn.
Maybe pair it with some tea—I'll ask the head chef for a good combo.
That's when I thought that.
"Huh?"
Time seemed to freeze, and in that instant, I realized.
I'd made a huge mistake.
What I'd been most careful about, without mana, was dynamic vision.
Those who can use mana can vastly enhance their physical abilities, and a Swordmaster at the pinnacle of the sword could move at speeds beyond my limits.
That's the first.
"Got it!"
The sword in her hand, White Night, vanished.
Unimaginable.
Pretending to fight the opponent while lulling me into complacency—a feint.
A total beginner technique, but the one using it was none other than Lady Rea.
Yes. That's the second.
I never dreamed Lady Rea would use her wits to smack me from behind.
I'd failed to realize that even she had been changing from all the torment by me and the princess!
"Now, let's clash."
Third, no matter how much of a bastard I'd acted, I truly hadn't thought the Sword Heaven would openly attack an unarmed me!
And finally.
"Damn."
"Huh?"
I hadn't expected to show my full hand in front of that damned princess.