The Maid Noodle Shop (1)

"Wow. You two are something else."

They'd shown up for work in maid outfits—where they'd even gotten those things, I had no idea. I genuinely hadn't expected them to actually wear them.

"F-for the sake of the shop, this much is nothing."

The words came out bold, but Saerom's face was burning red. I didn't have an artifact that could read minds, but I didn't need one. She was clearly wishing she were dead.

So this is the tragedy of the working stiff, huh?

Anyone could tell she was doing this under duress. She was following Yujin's orders, no question about it.

"Saerom, lift your head. This is all for the shop, so you should hold it with pride."

Yujin said this as she straightened her own outfit. The costume left her cleavage fully on display, and she'd even put on stockings that traced every line of her legs—and yet she stood there without a shred of shame. I respected her from the bottom of my heart.

That said.

"I appreciate you putting in the effort for the shop, but can't we try something a little more... normal?"

I'd said it more than once: this was a noodle shop. Elderly customers came in all the time. It wasn't a men-only restaurant, either. Sure, young guys would probably figure a win was a win, but...

This is the era we ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠live in.

In a world crawling with people looking for something to be offended by, I was sweating bullets.

"A strategy that doesn't set us apart from everyone else cannot succeed. You need to trust me and follow my lead."

I had a pretty good idea what drama she'd been watching last night. I let out a sigh.

"If this ends up on social media as some tyrant-boss story..."

But before I could finish, a customer walked in.

Ding-a-ling.

"Welcome home, Master."

...I give up.

Yujin looked like she'd plated her face in iron—completely unfazed. Saerom's face, on the other hand, was on fire with humiliation. I shook my head and headed into the kitchen.

A brief exchange of voices drifted in from outside, and then Saerom came over.

"Two meat noodle soups..."

"Tell them it'll take about ten minutes."

An order was an order. I boiled the noodles and poured in the broth.

Ding!

"Meat noodle soup, coming out!"

At the sound of the bell, Saerom came to pick up the bowls. I narrowed my eyes and watched the customers. They looked like they couldn't even tell whether the noodles were going into their mouths or their noses. They were too busy stealing glances at Yujin and Saerom.

Well, I can't blame them. Those two could pass for idols.

Their personalities were a little off, sure, but they were well above average in the looks department. Enough that I'd started wondering if the government was recruiting agents based on appearance these days.

"How was the food?"

Yujin attended to them with genuine warmth. I liked that part. I knew all too well how a rude server could ruin even the most delicious meal.

"Y-yes! It was really... delicious."

The customer looked dazed. I sighed.

"Really? I'm so glad. Then you'll definitely come back, right?"

Yujin's eyes sparkled as she asked. The customer nodded so fast I thought I was seeing three of his heads.

"Of course! The food's great, the service is great—I'll definitely be back! Yes!"

He answered with genuine enthusiasm.

"Wooow! That's such a relief. If you come back, I think I'd be so, so happy."

Yujin clasped her hands together and answered with a bright, sparkling smile.

She's so blunt when she talks to me...

The transformation was stunning no matter how many times I saw it.

"I'll promote the place a lot! Could I take a picture, though?"

"Of course. As many as you like."

And so the male customer snapped a few photos before finally heading out.

...Maybe this isn't so bad.

Seeing how much the customer had enjoyed himself, Yujin's strategy didn't seem entirely terrible. And the labor was free, after all.

I'll keep an eye on it a little longer.

And then I would come to witness something extraordinary.

Baek Seonhee, a YouTuber with five hundred thousand subscribers, was swimming through Instagram yet again today.

Sir Alex Ferguson had once declared social media a waste of life, but that didn't apply to her. Her channel's concept was traveling around to restaurants and reviewing them, and digging through Instagram like this was how she usually found the good spots.

And that was when she came across a post with a rather unusual claim.

"Whoa. What is this place?"

Seonhee blinked. Even to her—a woman—the girl in the photo was beautiful, beaming in a maid outfit.

So places like this exist in Korea too.

In Japan it was a fairly common concept, but in Korea it was the kind of thing people hesitated to try. For a number of reasons.

The food looks good too. And the concept... yeah, this would pull some serious clicks.

Three years into her YouTube career, Seonhee was certain. This was going to blow up. First one there claims it!

She shot to her feet.

Wait—the location... it's right in front of me?!

Competitors had been catching up lately, so she'd been hunting for video material with her eyes on fire. There was no way she'd let an opportunity like this slip by. She quickly grabbed her phone and tripod and headed out.

I can't be late! First one there claims it!

Ding-a-ling!

"Welcome home, Master!"

Listening to voices I was already starting to get used to, I thought, Feels like we've been getting more customers than usual today.

Four in the afternoon. Closing time was creeping up, and a sudden rush of customers had me swallowing a scream of joy.

"Whoa, what the hell. It's real? They're actually maids."

"Right? I thought it was bullshit."

Fucking high schoolers? No, wait. High schoolers.

The kid had shoulders about the width of my palm. Both arms and legs were covered in outdated irezumi tattoos, so he was probably a school thug.

Ugh. Creepy.

And next to him was what I assumed was his girlfriend, a high school girl with a fairly large build. Her skirt was so short and tight I was worried the veins in her legs might pop, and the color of her face and the color of her neck were exact opposites.

If those two got in a fight, the girl would win.

Still, they were in that fresh, youthful time of life, weren't they? I glanced at my adorable little customers and waited for their order.

"Oh my god, this is crazy. Aren't you embarrassed, lady?"

Crack.

Something sounded like it had just snapped. I looked over there with a stunned expression. Yujin's hand was trembling faintly. But she was a professional part-timer—I, her boss, could personally vouch for that.

"How could I possibly be embarrassed serving such a dashing, handsome Master! Please, right this way!"

"Pfft! That's hilarious. She called him Master. No joke."

"Yo, that rhyme actually slaps? Yo yo! I'm Rap Lee Byung-heom! Hip-hop pigeon!"

Y-yeah, kids these days have a real unique mental state.

Realizing I couldn't follow the conversation at all, I figured I must be getting old.

"Meat... noodle soup... two of them."

"Ah. Hang in there."

Yujin's expression was a masterpiece. I figured I shouldn't poke the bear and just started prepping the noodles. That was when another customer walked in.

Ding-a-ling.

"Welcome home, Master!"

This time it was a woman.

"Um, could you call the owner for me? I-I'm sorry if you're busy."

"The owner...?"

She was a tiny little customer. Cute face, a tripod clutched in her right hand. I felt like I'd been struck by lightning.

A YouTuber!

One of the formulas for blowing up. A YouTuber! I knew perfectly well that these days a YouTube shout-out worked better than cable TV, so I dropped everything I was doing and came out front.

"You were looking for me?"

"...? I haven't even called him yet—"

I smiled brightly while shooting Saerom a look, and she promptly shut her mouth.

"Hello, sir! I wanted to ask if it would be all right to film here..."

"Of course."

I put on my best customer-service smile and accepted without a second's hesitation.

"As much as you like."

"Ah, yes. Thank you."

She smiled and bowed her head.

"Oh, please. I'm the one who should be thanking you."

"And would it be all right ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to film the staff as well?"

"Of course. Film away."

"Thank you so much, sir! Then I'll have one meat noodle soup and one mixed noodle, please!"

"Coming right up."

I headed into the kitchen in an excellent mood. YouTube already. I had a feeling everything was going to go smoothly.

...This won't turn into a controversy, right?

I shook my head. Come to think of it, if anyone like that showed up I'd just kill them all...... wait, no. I promised I wouldn't live that way this time around.

"You fucking bitch—!"

A voice like tearing fabric ripped through the shop. My eyes went wide and I stepped out onto the floor.

"You rude-ass bitch!"

A ringing slap. The high school girl from earlier had just cracked Yujin across the face. Yujin's head snapped to the side with a sound. Saerom, startled, started to move in, but Yujin raised her right hand to stop her, then quietly bowed at the waist.

"I'm sorry, valued customer."

"W-what on earth..."

Saerom came over, her face ashen, and explained.

"It's—when I was walking past, that boy grabbed my butt, and when unnie went to confront him..."

"What?"

The shock hit hard. Until a moment ago I'd written it off as kids being kids, a little harmless teasing. I hadn't expected it to go like this.

They say if you get angry enough, you go calm. It felt like someone had dumped ice water over my head.

I strode over and planted myself in front of the high schooler who'd flushed his entire concept of decency down the toilet.

"The hell are you? You the boss of these slut bitches?"

"Hey."

"...What?"

"Where the fuck does a little shit like you get off talking down to me?"

"What?"

That was when the beanpole who'd been sitting there watching stood ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠up. Looking at him wobbling around like a dried squid just made me angrier. What exactly was he relying on here?

"You trying to go out of business? Huh?"

He jabbed me in the shoulder. Of course, he couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds, so I didn't budge an inch.

"She says you groped her. That true?"

I started by calmly establishing the facts. You never know.

However.

"Yeah, I did. What are you gonna do about it? They're dressed like that so people will touch them. Am I wrong?"

"...What?"

"I said, what the fuck are you gonna do about it."

The boy shoved his head right into my chest and started rubbing it there. I was so incredulous I actually laughed.

"That's enough. I'm calling the police."

"The police? Bwahaha! He says he's calling the police. Do you even know who my dad is?"

"Heh heh, that's hilarious. Baby! Stop~ This owner, his mom is probably..."

And then they launched into family insults I couldn't even repeat. Something in my head went snap, like a thread had been cut.

"Your dick's small too, right? What, why are you looking at me like that? Getting off on this? Wow! This old man is sexually harassing me! Too bad though! Your tiny dick's so small I probably wouldn't even feel it."

Civilized people are ruder than savages. Because they know that no matter how much they mouth off, they won't die.

"Hey."

"What, you retar—AAAAAGH!"

I cracked the girl in front of me across the face.

A wet, ringing slap. Her large frame went down, and she started screaming without restraint.

"KYAAAAH! KYAAAAAAH!"

I frowned. She was way too loud. So I grabbed her face and slammed it into the wall.

The wall crumbled.

I looked at the ashen-faced boy.

"I-I'm sor..."

"That's not who you should be saying that to."

I started walking toward him, slowly. He'd been backing up, and instead of avenging his girlfriend he was trying to run.

Couldn't have that.

I took a running start and wrecked him with a roundhouse kick.

Glass exploded. The beanpole went flying like cotton candy and smashed through the window. I'd been considerate enough not to kill him on purpose, so he'd only flown a long way. He'd be fine. ...Though with the glass shattering, it probably hurt a bit.

I swept a look around the room. Saerom, terrified. Yujin, staring at me like she was under a spell. And the YouTuber from earlier.

...My eyes met ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a glittering camera lens.

I raked my hair back and sighed.

"Ha... fuck."

Then I pulled out my phone and called the police station.

"So you're telling me you did that to them just because some kids were a little rude? Are you out of your damn mind?"

The boy had barely escaped with his life, and the girl's face had been caved in. Completely fucked. I spoke with the air of a man who'd already given up.

"That's why I came here to turn myself in."

"...Turn yourself in? Sorry, that's not going to reduce your sentence. You picked the wrong people to mess with."

I was in the middle of trying to figure out how to get through this mess.

Should I take the president hostage...?

I'd tried it once in my previous life and it had worked like a charm, but... Chaewon's face flickered through my mind. If I did that, how would this life be any different from the last one?

...You idiot.

This was a regression I'd embarked on after swearing over and over that I wouldn't live the same way as before. And I'd gone and ruined everything because I couldn't keep my temper in check. Overcome with self-loathing, I thunked myself on the head.

"That boy's father is our precinct chief."

So that's what all the dad talk had been about. I sighed. As if things weren't complicated enough, now they were tangled into a complete knot.

Ding-a-ling.

That was when a familiar face walked in. Yujin. She came toward me in long strides. She'd changed clothes—it was the office look I'd first seen her in.

"Who...?"

The officer who'd been interrogating me lost his soul at the sight of a face that could rival an idol's. She rummaged in her pocket, pulled something out, and showed it to him.

A rectangular ID card. National Intelligence Service, it read.

The detective's expression snapped taut the moment he saw the ID.

"From this moment on, listen carefully to what I'm about to say."

Could it be...?!

I looked at her with the face of a man who'd just met the Messiah. Come to think of it, even if I was using her as a part-timer, the Emergency Countermeasures Committee was the most powerful organization in the country. In a world where Hunters mattered, you'd have to hand them full authority if you wanted results. ...And Yujin held a fairly high rank even within that organization.

Nice!

Yujin glanced at me with a small smile, as if to say don't worry, then turned to the insufferable cop.

...I stared at Yujin with the most incredulous face I had ever worn.