Chapter 50
Chapter 50
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 50
Chapter Title: Isn't It Strange? I Desperately Want It
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Run away from me, 50.
Smile? You want me to smile?
Asherad caressed Daphne's lips. Regret lingered in his touch. Daphne let out a soft chuckle.
Smile? Hadn't she smiled plenty? In front of Asherad, whenever he offered her something, she'd smiled gratefully. Wasn't that a smile?
Asherad stroked Daphne's face. It felt strange. He hadn't said a word, yet it came across like sorrow.
He didn't know. Asherad truly didn't know.
But he couldn't let it shake him.
Daphne flashed a bright smile. The hand caressing her face twitched. She looked at Asherad and said,
"I understand."
Daphne overlaid her hand on top of Asherad's large one, which had been stroking her face. Disgustingly, it felt warmly comforting.
"I know you did it for me. Still, I don't want anyone dying because of me."
Daphne put on a kind expression and rubbed her face against his hand like a puppy. Asherad looked at his hand and at Daphne.
In an instant, his gaze shifted. Before Daphne could say a word, the hands cupping her face tightened, and he pressed his lips to hers.
Her lips were suddenly sealed, making it hard to breathe. It felt like drowning.
Soft flesh brushed her lips before delving inside. Daphne accepted it with difficulty. He pressed his body against hers. The force knocked her body, which she had just propped up, back onto the bed.
"Ah, ngh, mmph!"
The kiss plunged so deep it felt like it would pierce her throat, leaving Daphne unable to think straight. Tears welled up as she gazed at him hazily, and his breathing quickened.
He pulled his lips away and slipped his hands around her waist, hugging her tightly. It felt like her body might break.
Her breath caught for an entirely different reason. His rock-hard body was scorching hot, and she felt like she might suffocate in the heat.
"Ngh! Y-Your, Your Majesty."
As Daphne flushed red and tried to pull away, he tightened his arms even more. Like desperately clutching at something trying to escape.
It was frantic, but it choked off Daphne's air. She truly felt like she might pass out.
"Your... Majesty."
When Daphne squeezed out the words, Asherad finally loosened his grip. Daphne gasped for breath. Asherad stared blankly at her disheveled state.
He rose from his seat and looked down at Daphne. His eyes held the gaze of someone beholding something utterly foreign. Then, the corner of his mouth lifted.
"I've gone mad."
"...."
"I've gone mad."
Asherad whispered while gazing at Daphne lying beneath his arms. He looked at her hair and kissed it. It was so reverent that even Daphne found it odd.
Strange.
Asherad couldn't predict it. Seeing her trembling eyes, Asherad lifted the corner of his mouth.
"Yeah, I've already lost my mind."
Daphne thought Asherad would embrace her. As she stared at him with a face free of resistance, he pulled down her hiked-up skirt.
Stroking her stiff lips, which he'd teased relentlessly during the kiss, he said,
"Make sure you take your medicine properly."
With that, Asherad rose and left the room.
* * *
Duke Turbul looked at Calista before him. Her hair was disheveled. It was the same reaction he'd seen often back when Asherad was away at war and they held sway over state affairs. Calista always looked like that when things didn't go her way.
"Kill her!"
Calista shouted. Calling him out of the blue to demand a killing—he wore an incredulous expression.
"That girl—let's kill her!"
"What's this all of a sudden?"
He'd heard they were tormenting her just enough. Had the girl been foolish enough to openly defy Calista?
Despite Duke Turbul's thoughts, tears streamed from Calista's slender eyes.
"Because of that wench, His Majesty scolded me. His Majesty!"
"You're talking about that time he told you to shut up?"
"No! Strictly speaking, that wasn't really scolding me!"
Calista spoke in frustration. That oblivious fool! That had been aimed at Duke Turbul, not her. And he hadn't even realized it.
"He got mad just because I pushed her a little. How could he do that!"
"Well, didn't you insult His Majesty's beloved? It's only natural he'd be angry."
"That's the problem! Over something as trivial as insulting his little plaything, he dares to scold me—me! After all I've done!"
As a secret slipped from Calista's lips, Duke Turbul's eyes narrowed. The Calista he saw was an incomprehensible creature.
She was, for the most part, an arrogant noblewoman. Yet she showed excessive loyalty toward Asherad. Not content with that, she harbored an overblown sense of entitlement toward him.
Power within the imperial palace, vast budgets—all handed to her by Asherad. But it wasn't enough; she demanded his affection too.
That "thing" had been a matter of mutual interest. She'd accepted the risks, yet here she was whining to Asherad for leniency. It made no sense.
"It's unbecoming for him to mix with such a lowly wench."
By that logic, it was even more unbecoming for mother Calista and son Asherad to entwine their tongues.
"I oppose it, Your Imperial Highness the Empress Dowager."
"Why!"
"Because she's the woman His Majesty cherishes and keeps by his side. Just the pretense of trying to kill her has already brought all that dishonor upon him, and he's officially declared her his consort."
"...."
"You've heard how one maid was executed and the rest all banished just for being insolent to her?"
"...."
"Now His Majesty loves..."
Crash! A porcelain doll by Calista's side flew and shattered miserably. Calista's eyes widened as she laughed.
"What nonsense is that!"
"...."
"Asherad loves me!"
Duke Turbul furrowed his brow, staring at Calista's face. She heaved with rage.
"Me—it's me!"
He knew plenty of mad folk in the imperial palace. And Calista seemed to have joined their ranks. Watching her scream in delusion, the duke clicked his tongue.
* * *
Opening the door let in the sharp, acrid scent unique to strong liquor. Yohannis entered the room. It was dark, lit only by a single dim lantern. Glug glug—the man was pouring liquor from a decanter onto the side table.
"You don't usually drink."
The man downed the liquor even with Yohannis's arrival. Yohannis slightly furrowed his brow. The red glow illuminated the man's face. His flushed cheeks and liquor-stained lips looked lascivious even to him.
Yohannis thought it fortunate Calista wasn't seeing this. That madwoman would eagerly try to ensnare Asherad if she knew.
"Asherad."
"Shut up."
He looked precarious. Asherad stared at the golden goblet and said,
"Yohannis."
"What?"
"It's strange."
"What is?"
"Even when I hold her, it doesn't feel like I'm holding her."
Asherad reached out and clenched his fist. Like grasping sand? No, more like clutching intangible wind.
"That girl you're talking about?"
"...."
Asherad didn't answer, just stared at his palm. Yohannis looked at him and spoke in his usual flat, emotionless tone.
"You've definitely changed."
Thin ice-like fragility, a chilling sharpness like a honed blade. Asherad had always seemed at ease, kind to people.
That wasn't all. In battle, he was fearless. This precariousness was the most alien thing he'd ever seen in him.
"You like that girl that much?"
Asherad didn't respond to Yohannis's words. Instead, he glanced alternately at his chair and armrest, then muttered,
"Isn't it strange."
"...."
"The most worthless thing in the world was those eyes fawning for love."
"...."
"Those eyes—and now I desperately crave them."
Asherad clenched his fist tight. Strange. He'd ruined them with his own hands. He'd definitely felt ecstasy in that twisted bond, yet now it left him wanting.
His throat burned with thirst. This wasn't it, he thought. Seeing Asherad's face, Yohannis pulled up a chair and sat beside him.
"Asherad."
"...."
"You just have to try. I told you— if you're keeping her locked up, put her in a splendid prison."
Asherad's darkened green eyes turned to Yohannis. Cold advice to capture and cage the woman. Asherad lifted his head.
"So if I lock her in that prison?"
"...."
"If I cage her and she won't even look at me?"
"You love that woman?"
At Yohannis's words, Asherad's face twisted.
"As if."
Asherad ground his teeth, as if ashamed.
Yohannis wasn't a mind expert either. Besides, Asherad's feelings for Daphne were far too tangled.
He didn't want to blame Asherad, saying it was all his fault. Yohannis simply reached out and stroked Asherad's hair.
When Daphne collapsed just because a maid was killed, Yohannis had seen unmistakable fear on Asherad's face.
Thinking back, it was strange.
That wretched little girl—he'd said he liked her, oblivious that she saw him as a dog.
Asherad, who had the eyes of the dead from the battlefield yet lived, had eyes sparkling then. He'd grinned like a child receiving a gift.
Perhaps the crack had been foreseeable from that moment.
In a relationship twisted from who-knows-where, a man who lived reciting only hatred without recognizing love as love plunged deeper into torment the instant he realized it.
Who was it that said love is self-torment? Clearly, by becoming aware of his heart, he was brutally tormenting himself.